Wayward Expeditions - Rise of the Runelords - Episode 05
 	Intro: For much of written history world events followed chartered routes. Oracles and seers mapped out the future in the stars above and their prophecies always gave a reliable view of the ages to come. Until a god died a century ago. No one saw that coming. And now the old prophecies are failing, oracles go mad and seers desperately tried to account for the loss of the future. While some cry out that the world is at an end, they've been doing so for a hundred years now and the world is still here, it's just unclear where things are going. The future of Golarian is open, ready to receive the triumphs and failures of a new generation of heroes. Welcome to Rise of the Runelords!

GM: Here and there, the sounds of battle, clanging swords and calls for support by the town guard are followed by shrieking and singing goblins that echo throughout the city streets. But at the festival site itself, most of the citizens have fled. One or two goblins remain behind scavenging food, and many more lie dead along with a few unfortunate citizens. It should be obvious to you that the fight has moved on, especially as you look around, trying to ascertain what's going on, where to head next, where you're needed. You hear the sound of a scream and frantic barking coming from the north.

Markus: "Well, that seems like our cue, shall we?" Oh, have we been able to put out the fire in the cart at this point? 

GM: No

Deadeye: It's oil, there's really no way to do this. We should just move on.

Fenwarin: Am I still hysterically laughing? 

GM: Yes [laughing]

Taury: Thats sort of what I was wondering.

Deadeye: I'm gonna to walk over and just like kick him, to see if he'll stop laughing. 

GM: All right. That'll be a Will save Fen.

Fenwarin: Ok. Good.

GM: All right, you shake off the laughter.

Deadeye: I extend my hand down and I will get back up.

Fenwarin: "Oof ah, ah thanks. I'm not sure what happened there, but glad I got out of it."

Deadeye: "Must have been something magical, I don't know?"

Fenwarin: "I was having a fun time but, at the same time it was uncomfortable." 

Deadeye: "Yeah, let's go."

Markus: "Also, scream and barking dogs that way?" 

Deadeye: "Let's head that way."

GM: All right. You all run up north, up this way. Individual movements. Ok go ahead and move yourself onto the grid. You'll snap to it, no problem."

Fenwarin: Yeah, feels good for me.

Taury: Yeah, well, I was pretty far towards there anyway, so...

GM: Is there a marching order as you're heading north?

Deadeye: I'll be towards the front.

GM: Ok.

Morana: I'm just gonna be back here

Taury: Business in the front party in the back?

Morana: Yer god damn right.

GM: [Laughing.]

Taury: And we're not in combat, right?

GM: Not at the moment.

Taury: Oh, I know it's coming, don't worry.

GM: Yes, it is.

Taury: Yeah, well, I sort of imagined that, while you were having that conversation, she had already ran towards where the noise came from. That was the sort of...

Markus: Oh, right yeah, you would have been miles ahead of us to start with anyway, even if we were...

Taury: Yeah, and I was already closer north than you guys anyway.

GM: Ok. Just east of the White Deer near Sandpoint's north gate, a mounted goblin on top of a goblin dog, is bravely attacking a noble and his hunting dog. As you arrive you see the noble cowering behind a water barrel next to a house, calling out for help in shriek, shrill cries, while his dog is bravely fighting against the goblins. You see the goblin on top of the dog, swinging what looks like a dog slicer on top of a long stick. It's referred to as a horse chopper. And there's three other goblins hiding behind some stuff around the area, trying not to get close to the dog as they're cowering from it. As you near, swinging with his mighty horse chopper, the goblin slays the dog, it crashes, dying to the ground as the commando goblins kin, the little goblins who are cowering, throw up a cheer and emerge from hiding and begin dancing and reveling in their commando's victory over the terrifying dog. They're not aware of you.

Morana: Do I recognize this noble?

GM: Knowledge local.

Markus: Was he one of the nobles that was staying at the Inn at the same time that we met at breakfast?

GM: No.

Markus: Ok.

GM: You do recognize this local noble. He is Aldern Foxglove.

Taury: Shall I also roll to see if I know who it is?

GM: You can if you wish.

Markus: Would you accept Knowledge Nobility for knowing him?

GM: I would. 15, all right. You don't know this person specifically, but you recognize he's one of the Foxglove family. 

Markus: Ok.

GM: Taury, you do not know who this person is off the top of your mind.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: But Morana and Markus both recognize this noble as a member of the Foxgloves. Morana, you know specifically who he is. And both of you know that the Foxglove family is a noble family out of Magnimar, but they have a local house just down the way on the coastline. It's not in Sandpoint proper, it's about a mile and a half or so outside of town. No farmland, just a manor house on the bluffs. As well as a manor house in Magnimar, and you've heard that there's been a split in the family and one of them lives in Korvosa now. Markus you're aware of that.

Markus: Ok.

GM: Fenwarin, you're also aware of the Foxglove family.

Markus: Um hmm. 

GM: And recognize Aldern specifically.

Markus: All right.

GM: He's crying out "Oh help! Help!" as the dog has just died. Distracted from their kill, you guys get a full round of action before they go.

Taury: Sweet.

GM: But I will be rolling initiative for them. Go ahead and click your tokens and roll initiative. We are added to the tracker.

Fenwarin: I'll take that. So the advantage here is that we get a full turn before them? 

GM: Yes.

Fenwarin: Cool.

GM: As they are completely distracted in the revelry of killing this dog, they're very loud. So even the sounds of you rushing up, they're not aware of you. Which is good for you, bad for them.

Taury: There's no token for the, that guy is there?

GM: There is not. He is hiding. He's noncombatant.

Taury: But like where's the, is it the commander dude that we are attacking at?

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Ok.

GM: Yeah. So they're just straight north of the map.

Taury: Yes. No, I was just wondering, like, if he was the other dude but...

GM: And the commando gets, also a +3. Technically, the commando is mounted on the dog. At this moment at least. All right. Taury, go first.

Taury: Alrighty, well, I'm going to shoot at the main dude, the commander chap. My bow can hopefully hit him.

GM: That does hit. As in a normal AC, they're not aware of you which uses flat-footed AC.

Taury: Oh sweet!

GM: So, yes, you have struck the government commando in the back.

Taury: Yay. All right. Well, then I'm gonna move 20 feet. And then that'll be the end of my turn. Hey, I hit something!

Fenwarin: Hey! [laughing]

Taury: There should be a, like I feel like there should be a crowd you know. Missed everything up to now.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yip. Right, I'm gonna move up, and I will take aim at the goblin dog and fire off a crossbow bolt.

GM: All right. I need to make a Ride Check for the commando to stay in his saddle. He does stay in his saddle. Fenwarin does hit with a crossbow bolt on the goblin dog, which will prompt another Ride Check. Yeah, that commando's sturdy in that saddle.

Fenwarin: Yeah damn.

Taury: Glued to it I would say. 

Deadeye: Could say natural 20 for AC.

Fenwarin: For 2 damage.

GM: 2 damage on the dog. All right.

Morana: At least he's getting them out of the way."

GM: Sure.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: It's so comforting. [Laughs]

GM: They're all just becoming aware of you. Deadeye.

Deadeye: I will measure my distance to, ah let's see, what I'll do first... I will, since I reloaded at end of the last thing, its loaded .. so let's see do I have a...? Yes I do, yip I will, fire at the commando. It gets a -2 for rage.

GM: All right.

Deadeye: But I am using a crit point for Deadeye so it's against Touch.

GM: All right.

Deadeye: 16.

GM: That will hit.

Deadeye: That's 1 damage.  

GM: Yip. 

Deadeye: And I will reload.

GM: Wonderful, Morana.

Morana: All right. Gonna move 30 feet up here and hold my standard for a trigger of an enemy coming within 30 feet of me.

GM: Ok. Markus.

Markus: I will move to there, and I would hold an action, but I don't think it's going to trigger so I won't bother.

GM: All right. Well, the goblins are now aware of you and ready to fight. Taury.

Taury: Oh, yeah, so they don't get an action, ok, they do now. I will do the same thing, I'm going to knock another arrow and fire the arrow directly at the same dude."

GM: That will hit, considering it's a crit.

Taury: Yes it is.

GM: But you do not confirm.

Markus: Pity.

Taury: Yes.

Fenwarin: Hey, at least you hit.

GM: Yes.

Taury: Ah no don't worry! I'm overjoyed! [Laughs]

GM: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs] But it would have been more fun with crit of course. I mean, who doesn't love crit?

Taury: Yeah, I saw the little green flash. You know I was like fuck yeah! But yeah ok.

GM: All right, so two more damage to the commando.

Taury: Cool, well, I'm not going to move or anything so that's the end of turn.

GM: All right. Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yes I might as well shoot the dog again.

GM: Oh right right, stay in Saddle checks.

Fenwarin: All right. He's got a very nice bonus on, on that one.

GM: He does. But that wasn't enough. 

Fenwarin: Ooh. 

GM: All right, a 10 will miss. 

Fenwarin: Ok.

GM: Goblin 3 runs up to fight Taury. Morana your ready-to-action will fire?

Morana: Will save DC 15.

GM: Will save on a goblin. That's, that's always fun.

Morana: -2 to his attack rolls.

GM: To attack rolls, all right. And that will cancel out his bonus from charging. So it'll be just a flat roll, and that misses which will take us to Deadeye.

Deadeye: Ok. I will move up to here and I will take a shot. The commando is on the ground? 

GM: Yes. 

Deadeye: Flat on the ground?

GM: Yes, he is prone.

Deadeye: Prone, see he gets +4?"

GM: Yes.

Deadeye: Also fine. I will take aim and fire.

GM: All right.

Deadeye: The guy on the ground...ah

GM: That will miss.

Deadeye: Miss, but then swift action reload."

GM: All right. Morana.

Morana: All right, that worked out so well, let's do it again, I'm gonna nerf this guy into the shitter. Another DC 15 Will save.

GM: So close.

Morana: Yep, this one's AC.

GM: I figured it would be.

Morana: And that's my turn.

GM: Not doing anything else?

Morana: Uh... picks a bit of lint off of her sleeve, I don't know. Not a whole lot else I can do right now.

GM: Ok. Markus.

Markus: Yeah, I'm also in a position where there's not a lot I can do right now. So, Markus will step forward a bit but otherwise won't do much.

GM: All right. Commando, will get to his feet and order the dog to charge. Double check his Handle Animal here. Yup, that'll do it. Goblin dog comes up here to attack Taury.

Taury: Wonderful.

GM: Now Taury, you are now, adjacent to a goblin dog. I need a Fortitude save.

Taury: Ok.

GM: All right. You're fine. There's a bunch of like dander and like dry skin and stuff. Just almost like a 'Pig-pen' cloud coming off this dog.

Taury: He nasty, that's what you're trying to say, he nasty.

GM: Yeah, like it's getting your nose and your eyes. It's irritating, but you're not affected negatively by it, yet... That will hit you. The dog bites you, dealing 8 points of damage, and will prompt another save against the allergic reaction from all this dander.

Taury: Is that another Fort save?

GM: Yes.

Morana: Ok. Some somebody need to pull Old Yeller down.

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: A 14. You are not sneezing and coughing, yet.

Taury: Hell yeah dude.

GM: You're fighting through this cloud of dander coming off this thing. Well done. Goblin 2 is going to raise a short bow and fire it at Deadeye... and miss. Goblin 1 will do the same. That will hit Deadeye.

Deadeye: Question. I have a thing, Gun slingers dodge.

GM: Ok. I believe that uses a grit point, correct?

Deadeye: Yes.

GM: All right. You still got grit remaining?"

Deadeye: Yip.

GM: All right. Go for it.

Deadeye: So I will, let's see what will I do? I think I will go there, 5 foot step that way, gives me +2 AC, make it to 20.

GM: All right. That will cause the arrow to miss.

Deadeye: So I just like, see it coming and quickly dodge to the side.

GM: All right. As you dodge out to the side, that puts Taury in line for it. So let's see if that hits her.

Taury: Thanks.

GM: Percentile roll. 25 percent chance it does, 75 or higher it does not. You see Deadeye dodge out of the way of an arrow and it flies right by your head. Taury, it's now your turn.

Taury: Excellent. Now, if I move, I get an attack of opportunity on me the right?

GM: If you do more than a 5 foot step, yes.

Taury: Yeah. But a 5 foot would still make me in range?

Morana: The 5 foot step would take you. Yeah, you could you could take a 5 foot step and not be adjacent to the dog.

GM: Yeah, you can move diagonally.

Taury: Oh, I see what you mean. And what is the like negative range for, you know, like, say, if I was going to fire an arrow. How far away do I have to be? What's the minimum on that, 'cos I don't remember?

GM: I believe your bow is one 110 feet.

Taury: Yeah. But what's the like the disadvantage, you know, because it's close range?

GM: Oh, none. If you fire in melee, they get an attack opportunity. If you take a 5 foot step back, you're fine.

Taury: Ok cool, I didn't know that. So that's what I will do. And I'll fire at this goblin straight in front of me.

GM: The goblin or the goblin dog?

Taury: Whatever that is that's right in front of me. I presume that's the goblin dog right in front of me?

GM: That's a regular goblin.

Taury: Well, that's what I'm shooting at.

GM: All right... that will miss. The dander in your eyes just, they watering up a little bit. You saw double for an instant and shot at the wrong one.

Taury: I'm not crying, it's fine ok, it's just the dander.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yes.

GM: Show em how it's done.

Fenwarin: I will shoot the damn dog.

GM: You hit.

Fenwarin: Good, max damage please....No.

GM: That is the opposite.

Fenwarin: Damn, oh well, damage is damage. [Sighs]

Taury: That's the second 1 damage that you've done and it's the third 1 today.

GM: Goblin will 5 foot step up to you and attempt to hit you with his sword. -2 to his attack still, he will miss. Deadeye.

Deadeye: I'm gonna get back at his Dog, I'll take aim and fire at it... 

GM: All right. 

Deadeye: 1?! Good Grief!

GM: That is.. Oh, not not a nat 20. Ok. 20 total.

Deadeye: Just a 20.

GM: I got excited for you for a second. All right.

Deadeye: 1 damage. Again?

Taury: It could have been 2 damage.

GM: You guys are doing so so great.

Deadeye: It could have been 2 damage, its ridiculous.

Fenwarin: Yeah. Me and Deadeye are good at doing crit fails.

Taury: That's the fourth one!

GM: All right. Morana.

Morana: DC 14 Will save from the goblin.

GM: Same one?

Morana: Oh yeah same goblin.

GM: Hey!

Morana: You son of a bitch.

Fenwarin: (laughs) Dammit!

Morana: He still gets to attack next turn, Boo. I'm gonna 5 foot step to the right here. It's not, not totally a human shield. No, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

GM: Markus.

Markus: Ok. In the absence of anything else, 5 foot step forward, and stab the goblin with a dagger, hopefully.

GM: All right. Roll the miss.

Morana: Wow!

Fenwarin: Ah ha ha! Wow.

GM: Yup!

Markus: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Deadeye: Yeah. Thats a Zero.

Taury: How is that even possible?!

GM: Low strength scores, that's how.

Taury: But how?! But there's no zero?

Fenwarin: Minus modifier.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Fuck off!

Markus: If you hover over the zero, it shows you the modifiers.

Taury: So...

Morana: I've rolled negative ones on skill checks, all right? A zero is nothing.

Fenwarin: It literally is nothing.

Taury: Jesus fucking christ! Ok.

Morana: Which is why I wasn't doing it before.

Fenwarin: (Laughs) 

GM: (Laughs)

Taury: I 'm just kinda like...?

Fenwarin: Yeah. Taury, you shouldn't be crying anymore, he just rolled a zero.

Taury: Yeah I can't do worse now. I didn't even do that bad last week you know?

GM: All right. The commando comes over and... Double checking that the horse Chopper has reach... it does not. Ok. Does a full charge on Deadeye. But will miss. Goblin 2 fires arrows at Deadeye, who is now in melee. Misses..

Deadeye: Natural 1.

GM: Yeah. Goblin Dog, was last and instructed to bite Taury. So will continue to do so. And does continue to do so.

Taury: Great.

GM: For another 5 points of damage.

Taury: I'm not saying I need healing, but... Maybe I need healing... Just just maybe.

GM: Starting to look a little rough?

Taury: I mean, there's a little bit of blood.

GM: All right. It's also adjacent to you, it's bitten you. I need another save against its dander cloud. Fortitude save.

Taury: Let's just hope she's not asthmatic. Fuck.

GM: All right. The dander has now gotten into your nose and eyes, and it's bad enough...

Taury: Coughing and spluttering.

GM: Yeah, it's bad enough now that it's actually affecting you negatively. You will now take a negative 2 penalty on dexterity and charisma for the following day, as you begin breaking out in rashes, and it's in your eyes. And this is considered a disease.

Taury: Lovely. What was that -2 on Dex charisma? Was it?

GM: Yes.

Taury: Was that saves or just in general?

GM: Just in general, those two stats now have a negative 2 penalty.

Taury: Okey dokey.

GM: And Goblin number 1 here will attempt to shoot Deadeye as well, and also miss. Taury it is back to you. Things are not going well.

Taury: No, no, they're not. So I'm going to sidestep backwards behind Markus. 

GM: (Laughs)

Taury: Also not a meat shield, and shoot another arrow at... this time at the dog.

GM: And miss.

Taury: Fuck.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yup. I'm gonna move, to right there and then fire another shot at the damn dog. Ah Damn it!

GM: And will miss.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: Goblin 3! Hey, Markus

Markus: Yes.

GM: This attack is coming at you.

Markus: Ok.

GM: He flails wildly at you. You're not sure if he's mocking your last attack or not. Deadeye its your turn.

Deadeye: Ok. So what am I gonna do here? I think I will step back, 5 foot, and shoot the commando, thats what I'm gonna do... What?! Its ridiculous!

GM: You do shoot the commando. Like right in the leg.

Deadeye: If only my damage, would stop rolling ones.

GM: Yeah, I think you all feel that way today.

Taury: I'm about five seconds away from starting a petition to ban ones.

Fenwarin: (Laughs)

Deadeye: (Laughs)

GM: Morana. 

Morana: Ok, so I've got good news and and news in this situation. The good news is that I do have cure light, the bad news is that I used both of my level one spells in the last fight. So, yeah.

Taury: You're going to run away.

Fenwarin: (Laughs)

Taury: Is that what you're saying?

Morana: I'm not saying I'm not gonna.

Taury: That answered my question better than you could have even done.

Morana: Ok. So... Mind affecting wouldn't work on a dog, would it?

GM: Depends. Vermin and insects are both immune to mind affecting, entirely, some mind affecting spells specify above animal intelligence.

Morana: Now, let me see if this one does.

GM: There's only a couple that do that. 

Morana: Fuck there is, it specifies human. All right.

GM: Well, there you go.

Morana: That won't work.. that's not gonna work... That's not gonna work... that's not going to do anything...Ah! Glaring at them, doesn't specify that.

GM: It does not.

Morana: All right. DC 15 Will save from the dog.

GM: You're gonna find this hilarious, but the dog has a better Will save than the goblins!

Morana: You know, it makes sense! Of course! So. Hey Fenwarin hows it going?

Fenwarin: All right. Morana, ha ha.

GM: Ok. Markus the brave.

Markus: Let's see if we can stab this goblin.

GM: You do stab the goblin. 

Morana: Oh, wait. Will save doesn't deny it, it just reduces it to one round.

GM: Right.

Morana: So, yes,

GM: Yeah.

Morana: So -2 to attack rolls for the next round for the dog.

GM: Okay. Attack rolls. Commandos turn...  really doesn't like you Deadeye. That will hit.

Deadeye: Oh thats a hit, its definitely a hit.

GM: Confirming crit range, it is not an extended crit range of 19 to 20. That is good for you. The damage, however... he does little damage for 3 points.

Deadeye: Ooh, that is good. It could have been worse.

GM: It could have been a lot worse.

Fenwarin: That's a nasty chopper.

GM: Goblin 2 is going to fire at Deadeye. Which misses. Goblin Dog continues after Taury... will miss. Markus, you are now exposed to the cloud of dander. I need a Fortitude save from you.

Markus: Ah Wonderful. My best save! No it really isn't.

GM: Yeah, the dander cloud, you're aware of it. It's bad, but you're not affected.

Markus: Excellent.

GM: Goblin 1 shoots an arrow at Deadeye. And misses. Taury.

Taury: All right. Ok. I was going to do some bullshit, but I can't, so I'm gonna take another step behind Markus.

GM: (Laughs)

Markus: That will still leave you in melee range though.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Uh huh. And I have a thing... So I could drop the bow, take out a mini weapon and attack in the same turn?

GM: Yes.

Taury: Well, I will do that. That's a good idea. So I'm gonna drop the bow.

GM: All right.

Taury: And attack with my scythe... Dear god!

GM: Nat 1. Maybe it's just your scythe thats cursed?

Taury: Uuuh, I think everybody is cursed today.

GM: OK.

Taury: It's not a 1. It should be stated it's not a 1!

GM: It was a nat 1 though.

Taury: But the whole thing wasn't a 1!

GM: No. Fenwarin, it's your turn.

Fenwarin: I really want to get rid of that dog, so I'm going to shoot again.

GM: I understand the sentiment. We'll see if it matters.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: You hit the dog.

Fenwarin: Good. Lets try this then, please crit fail... I didn't mean that!

Taury: Oh, my god! (laughs)

Fenwarin: It doesn't work either way! (laughs)

Taury: Oh, my god.

GM: Your request has been granted.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Morana: Congratulations.

Fenwarin: Yeah. Thank you.

GM: I know you meant the opposite, but the dice took you literally.

Fenwarin: Yeah. And last time it failed.

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: The sad part is the fact that you're the one firing from so far away, and it's me and Markus and Deadeye that are getting all of the fucking damage from your misses, like you're pissing them off and they're taking it out on us.

GM: Goblin 3 here stabs at you Markus, just barely missing. Deadeye it is your turn.

Deadeye: I'll get back up, I'm gonna wave at this guy, and then I'll shoot at him again. Stupid guy.

GM: That will miss.

Deadeye: And miss, even against touch.

GM: Yep,

Deadeye: Bliss.

GM: That is Miss.

Deadeye: It was 6 damage.

Fenwarin: Yeah. 

Deadeye: And then I'll reload.

GM: Morana.

Morana: DC 15 from the dog.

GM: All right.

Morana: That's going to be -2 AC.

GM: So you're affecting the AC now?

Morana: Yes.

Fenwarin: Awesome.

GM: Ok, so the...

Morana: Attack has worn off.

GM: The attack has worn off, but the AC begins. Markus.

Markus: Me managing to stab the goblin didn't seem to hurt it very much, did it?

GM: No.

Markus: Does the dog look like he's been hurt a lot, or is it still fairly robust?

GM: It's got a few arrows in it. There's some blood on its patchy fur.

Markus: But it's not showing immediate signs of that it's about to topple over.

GM: Oh, no, no, it's just angry.

Markus: Yeah, I'll try stabbing the goblin again... and fail.

GM: Yeah. That's a miss. Commando is gonna move into flank. That will be a +2 attack on Taury. That will hit.

Taury: For how much is that hitting?

GM: 5 points of damage.

Taury: Oh, Jesus Christ.

GM: You are still up,

Taury: Oh, I wouldn't. I mean, up?! Kind of? I'm breathing. I put it that way.

GM: Hey 1 hit point is still alive and conscious and effectively at full.

Taury: And Surrounded!

GM: Why not?

Taury: Surrounded!

Morana: The only hit point that matters is the last one, the rest are all crutches.

GM: Exactly!

Taury: You say that as you're like fucking 40 foot away.

GM: (laughs) Yeah...

Morana: Caster privilage.

Fenwarin: Exactly.

GM: The HP is a resource to be spent. It's just that last one that really matters.

Taury: Hmmm. Which is going to be gone when that goblin number two takes his turn.

GM: These two goblins drop their bows and draw their dog slicers and run into attack. Goblin Dog will attack Taury. That is a bonus to attack because of the flank. But misses... Second goblin runs in, same as the first.

Fenwarin: Oh this is a clusterfuck!

GM: Taury. It's your turn.

Taury: Ok. So, I mean, I have no options other than to just swing. So that's what I'm going to do. Gonna swing my scythe.

GM: At? 

Taury: For this dude here.

Morana: I would say go for the dog who has the -2 to AC.

Taury: Yeah, I mean, I still don't think it's gonna hit but, we'll go for this guy then.

GM: Are you swinging at the dog?

Taury: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Yes!

GM: You hit.

Taury: Hey! Good show.

Fenwarin: Oh, he's dead, oh thank God.

Taury: Ah, for a second there, that thing has like my HP written over Markus and I thought Markus was on 1 Hp too, and I was like, oh no! [Laughs]

GM: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: Genuine panic!

Markus: No, I haven't actually been hit yet, but yeah, I'm not being effective right now.

Taury: I know because I'm the damaged sponge right now.

Fenwarin: A meat shield. 

GM: Taury, I would highly suggest a tactical 5 foot move.

Taury: Oh yeah, I could do that as well. Yeah. Because that's what I was gonna do. That's what I was gonna...

GM: Before you say it's the end of your turn.

Taury: Yeah. I don't think I said it did I? I don't think I said it. So that is the end of my turn.

GM: All right. Fenwarin, it is your turn.

Fenwarin: Yes. Let's move up here and then fire at the goblin commando... Or not?

GM: Yeah, shot goes wide. Goblin 3 here, still intent on stabbing Markus. Not sure why, but he's set on it. He wants to do it, and he just can't. Deadeye.

Deadeye: Question. 

GM: Yes.

Deadeye: If I fire from here would these both get attacks against me?

GM: They will.

Deadeye: Good.

GM: [Laughs] I take it there was a sarcastic good?

Deadeye: Slightly?

GM: [Laughs]

Deadeye: All right. So then I guess I would make a 5 foot step there, and then fire at commando. 

GM: Oh.

Deadeye: An ttack of opportunity.

GM: All right. Attack of opportunity misses, fire the commando. 

Deadeye: 4 damage. 

GM: All right.

Deadeye: And then I reload.

GM: The commando does not look happy at that at all. Morana.

Morana: Thought he was unhappy before? D.C. 14 will save from the commando.

GM: From the commando? He just glares back at you.

Morana: Lucky bastard.

GM: Markus.

Markus: Yeah. Let's see if we can actually do some more damage to this goblin.

GM: You're shooting at the commando?

Markus: No I'm stabbing the goblin that's next to me.

GM: Ok. Just checking. That will miss ever so slightly.

Markus: Ok.

GM: Commando's turn. He's gonna 5 foot up and attack you Markus. That will miss, 'Markus the Invincible.'

Markus: No, not really.

GM: Goblin 2 is going to hold his action until Goblin 1 moves into position and attacks. Goblin dog is dead, can remove him from the list. Goblin 1 will move here, doing combat roles on the way there! 

Taury: [Snickers] Tis a wonderful image!

GM: Yip. All right. Deadeye, do you have the ability to make an attack of opportunity? Do you have any melee weapons out and readied?

Deadeye: I have one but I'm not holding it.

GM: Ok. So he rolls very clumsily by you, but you don't get to make an attack of opportunity because...

Deadeye: You have to be holding it right?

GM: Yeah. Yeah, if it was readied` in your hand, you could have, but it is not. So he rolls into position and then stabs at you, missing you. But his goblin friend behind him stabs at you as well, striking you, but not as severely as it could have been.

Taury: And that's what you call spit roasting.

GM: Huh.

Markus: Giggedy.

GM: He still stabs you for 4 points of damage. The serrations in the imperfections on the dog slicer just rip a little bit extra as he pulls the knife out from the stab. Taury, it is your turn.

Taury: Alrighty. I'm going to swing at... I'm gonna take a swing at this guy.

GM: you gonna 5 foot to get to him? Or you gonna move?

Taury: Ok yeah, yeah so I have to move? Ok. Well yeah I'm gonna do that.

GM: I'm just gonna move the dog out of the way.

Taury: The dead dog.

GM: 15 hits for 8!

Fenwarin: Man! Taury just slicing and dicing!

Taury: When she's not rolling like shit yeah! [laughing].

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Taury: This could have been last week but no! [laughing]. 

GM: Fenwarin. It is your turn.

Fenwarin: All right. Might as well just keeps shooting at the goblin commander right there.

GM: All right... That will miss. Deadeye.

Deadeye: Hey it's me again!

GM: It is your turn to try to escape the death sandwich. [laughing]

Deadeye: This is ridiculous. Ok. I'm gonna step there.

GM: Once again, removing yourself from flank.

Deadeye: Uh hmm.

GM: Doing the fox trot around this goblin.

Deadeye: Yeah just turning out his way. Ah maybe I can try fire. I'll fire at this guy.

GM: All right.

Deadeye: Lets see, 13 against touch?

GM: That does hit for 3 points of damage.

Deadeye: 3 of damage.

GM: "Minus 3" he squeals.

Deadeye: And I'll reload.

GM: Oh sorry, uh, firing provoked an attack of opportunity.

Deadeye: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Which hits. This guy just wants to see you bleed. Take another point.

Taury: Fifth 1 of today.

GM: All right. Morana.

Morana: I'm going to move here and uh... the regular goblin to the south DC 14.

GM: This one, correct?

Morana: That's the one.

GM: All right. 

Morana: Get dazed!

GM: Oh! All right. Markus.

Markus: Ok, I guess I'm going to fail at stabbing the commando.

GM: I like your resignation to that. Yeah.

Markus: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Oh.

Markus: I beat my zero.

Morana: There's the -1! Ah!

Taury: [Clapping] Absolute welp! 

GM: Well done.

Morana: It's rare and glorious thing!

GM: The commando, not seen you as a threat at all. Will move up here, risking the attack of our opportunity. Go ahead and make your swing.

Morana: Well at least at least you managed to get it done then.

Markus: Yeah, I miss.

GM: Yup. He will attempt to stab Deadeye in the back. That beautiful flanking bonus, but miss. Goblin 2 will do likewise. And also, miss. Goblin 1 is denied his turn because of daze... no longer dazed. Taury.

Taury: Okey doke. I'm going to pick up my bow, which was here, I think when I dropped it.

GM: Yes.

Taury: Yeah, so I'll pick it up and probably draw it and put away my scythe, as basically my turn. And can I also... the defensive thing that you mentioned? The like stance or whatever?

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, gonna do that.

GM: All right. Ok. Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yeah. Right, so I move there and I will try and fire out the goblin commando again and see if I can get him off Deadeye.

GM: All right. Take the shot. That hits. Roll your damage.

Fenwarin: That's fine... Oh, good! Ha!

GM: You strike him right in the side of the neck, he falls over and bleeds out at Deadeye feet. Deadeye, it is your turn.

Deadeye: Ok. I will take a 5 foot step right there. Ok and, have either of theses goblins been hit?

GM: It looks like this one might have been, there's a little bit of blood on his armor, that probably isn't one of yours.

Deadeye: Then I will fire at that one. Ooh, that's probably a miss.

GM: It is a miss. Morana.

Morana: All right. Same one again DC 14.

GM: Ok.

Morana: Yip, dazed just to deny them the ability to flank.

GM: Ok, interesting. Markus it's your turn.

Markus: Yeah, I think I roll delay.

GM: Delay. All right. Goblin 2 runs away. He is fleeing. Yeah, technically off the map, but Goblin 1 is dazed and could do nothing. Taury.

Taury: Gonna pull out the ol' bow and shoot that goblin in the face.

GM: The one that's dazed?

Taury: Yeah.

GM: All right. That misses? Yep, that misses.

Fenwarin: Damn.

GM: Fenwarin. 

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: It is your turn.

Fenwarin: Well, might as well just shoot the goblin.

GM: That hits.

Fenwarin: And 3.

GM: All right. Deadeye, goblin looks in terrible shape.

Deadeye: Uh hmm.

GM:  I can see panic in his eyes.

Deadeye: All right. I'm trying to decide if I should waste a bullet... Ok I'll fire at it,

GM: You shoot him right between the eyes. We are now out of combat as one of the goblins escaped, and you have slain all the remaining ones.

Deadeye: Oof, that was rough.

GM: As the gobins are dealt with, Aldern pulls himself up from behind the barrels. "Oh. Oh, thank you so very much.! Oh, how can I ever?! Oh!" He goes straight to Taury. "How can I ever repay your kindness? You're so very strong and beautiful! Oh you!"

Taury: She's just gonna blankly stare at him.

GM: He begins grabbing your bicep...

Taury: No, he doesn't!

GM: You pull away?

Taury: Yip.

GM: All right. He grabs at your bicep as you pull away. "Oh, my lady! Don't no, don't reject me! You saved my life! How can I ever repay you f you want nothing to do with me? Oh!" He begins, glancing around nervously for more goblins. "You did kill them all, didn't you?!"

Taury: I'm gonna nod.

Markus: "Well, there were a lot of goblins that came to town."

GM: "How very heroic to save the entire town and not just myself! Oh, fabulous! I'm staying at The Rusty Dragon, just to the south, I'm sure you know of it. Stop by in a day or two, your nerves seem to be end." And he goes to reach out towards Taury and then pulls his hand back, knowing that she'll just attempt to dodge him again. "When when you have a moment and things aren't quite as hectic, please stop by, I'd love a chance to talk with you and reward you properly for saving my life!" He bows gracefully to Taury and then nods at the rest of you and turns to walk away.

Taury: She'd put her back to him.

GM: He smiles at the acknowledgement of himself. He doesn't care about the rest of you.

Markus: Apparently not, no. [laughing.]

Morana: That's good, I don't care about him.

Taury: You're a little insulting though.

Morana: No not really.

GM: As you collect yourselves and look around the city listening for more signs of combat or battle, where else you could go, you realize that the battle against the goblins is pretty much decided. Any surviving goblins are fleeing north in droves. They're running by you and giving you as wide a berth as possible. There's a few arrows flying at them, trying to prevent their escape, but many of them do flee.

Taury: And they're all running away like together?

GM: They're kind of scattering. They're either going north towards the north gate by you, or they're running towards the cliffs by Junkers Edge and jumping off into the water and escaping down into the junkyard for cover and whatnot.

Taury: Because I feel like I'd start chasing the ones running towards the gate.

GM: Ok. You chase a few of them down, but many more escape.

Taury: I'm just sort of trying to see where they're going to like if there's...?

GM: They're escaping into the woods to the north of town.

Taury: Ok.

GM: Or down into the coast lines where they can't be followed easily.

Morana: Morana will just kind of trip a few as they run by see, see if she can make one trip into the path of an arrow.

GM: Easily done.

Markus: Speaking of arrows, didn't one, some of the goblins shooting at us with bows?

Deadeye: Yes. 

GM: You like to recover bolts and arrows, is what you're saying?

Markus: I would also like to recover a bow if they have one on them.

GM: Oh, A bow. They do have bows, but they're built for small people.

Markus: Ah.

GM: You can use it but because it's undersized, you'll take a negative 2 penalty cause it's just so tiny. 

Markus: Of course it is yeah.

GM: And instead of dealing 1D6 damage like a normal short bow, it'll deal 1D4.

Taury: And you really need more negatives?

Markus: Yeah, [laughing]. I thought I'd be better with a bow which is why he was considering it but...

GM: They are very poor quality. 

Markus: Yeah.

GM: These are goblin bows after all, they're made from junk and scavenge things like a few tree branches lashed together and stuff like.

Markus: Yeah. Markus'll use it to take a few pot shots at some of the fleeing goblins and then decide is probably not worth it. And just leave it.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Taury's gonna recollect her arrows that she fired at people, well, goblins.

GM: All right. As you're cleaning up the mess, the guard is removing bodies and throwing them into the pyre that was going to be for the Swallowtail Festival. But it's clear now that the citizens, they've retreated to their homes and everyone's looking at recovery from today's horrors. No one's interested in finishing the festivals. The few that you do run into all thank you for your assistance, and a few of them thank you directly for saving their lives in the square, specifically when the attacks began.

Markus: I assume we graciously acknowledge the thanks. Or at least some of us do.

Taury: I would acknowledge them, yeah. I don't know about how graciously.

GM: [Laughs] A few of them ask for your names. Do you tell them your name or?

Taury: I would. 

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Morana: Yeah, sure.

Markus: Yeah. Might as well.

Deadeye: Deadeye is fine yeah.

GM: Ok. As you're all heading back towards your places of rest, at some point you come across the Ameiko Kaijitsu as she's wandered around helping the citizenry and cleaning up as well. You all cross her path at some point not necessarily together but, she does say, because of your heroic acts today and the fact that many of the guests are leaving the next day, or some have already fled because of what happened, You are all offered a free room at The Rusty Dragon for a week, as her way of thanking you for helping defend the city from the goblin raid.

Deadeye: I'm taking that offer up.

Taury: But that I'm graciously accepting. Yes.

Morana: Morana kind of blinks and says "I, I do live in town."

GM: "Do you? I don't remember seeing you around. Oh, wait, no, you you're that gloomy chick. I do know you. How long have you been in town?"

Morana: Morana just stares at her. "I, a long time now."

GM: "Huh? Maybe you're just forgettable. Oh I'm sorry, that was very rude! Please, if you want free meals for a week instead of a room, that that can be arranged as well."

Morana: "Sure."

GM: "Apologies."

Morana: Mentally Morana is like, "Wow, this whole family's just fucked!"

GM: All right. Father Zantus will heal you all up, as thanks for you saving the church and most of the citizenry, free of charge.

Taury: Imagine if he charged us.

GM: All right. Over the next several days, your names become household knowledge. Everywhere you go in town, locals welcome you. A simple walk down Main Street results in such random things as the baker Alma Avertin, charging out and pressing fresh loafs of baked bread into your arms. Fenwarin you get all the the rye bread you want for free.

Fenwarin: [Laughing] Bread! Yes.

Taury: Is this the same baker that was entirely racist?

GM: Yes.

Taury: Oh, that's so funny.

GM: She sees your physical state Fenwarin of being kind of lanky, and you know, an elf. She tells you to eat more sandwiches and is part of why she's giving you so much bread. 

Fenwarin: And "I'd love to oblige, yes!"

GM: "You're too lanky, fatten up!"

Fenwarin: [Laughing] "Ok, yes."

GM: Anytime you visit The Hagfish, it brings an immediate round of cheers and applause, and rounds of drinks on the house, as well as a challenge for you to drink from Norah's tank. "You're mighty heroes, you can do it right?!"

Taury: "Absolutely."

Fenwarin: "I'd like to pass thank you."

Markus: "Yeah. No."

Deadeye: "Yeah why not?”

GM: All right. Jargie scoops up a big flagon of Norah's tank water. As he pulls it out, you see the slime thick and slick dripping from it as he kind of breaks it off with a jerk and swings it over to you. "Ah, drink up!" as he hands the the goblet over. Taury you're first. All right.

Taury: It's a roll yeah?

GM: Yep. A Fortitude save.

Taury: Oh Fortitude?

Morana: Wow.

Taury: Fuck yeah!

GM: You start to swallow down this thick viscous fluid, to call it water is an injustice. But you get the first couple mouthfuls down and then realize you've got two thirds of this flagon to go. Give me another save... As you begin gulping down the next few mouthfuls, it sticks in your throat. I need one more save.

Morana: This is brutal.

GM: Just as you're about to finish, you think you've got it, and then it just all comes right back up into the glass as it's tipped up, it overflows right into your face!

Taury: Can I try and do that in a way where it actually lands in the cup, and doesn't look like I actually threw it up?

GM: Sure. Give me a Reflex save.

Taury: [Laughing] Nope!

GM: Yeah. It just splashes right back into your face as you tip the mug down! 

Fenwarin: [laughing]

Deadeye: Oh no! Gross!

GM: You're just a little too slow in the process. And it's all over your face. It's clear that you threw this stuff up.

Taury: Yep, yep.

GM: Everyone's laughing, Jargie slaps you on the shoulder. "Ah, better luck next try! Ah ha ha ha!" And then he takes a new flagon and scoops up another big viscous dripping goblet full and hands it to you Deadeye. "Maybe you'll do better hey?!"

Deadeye: "We'll see. Well, I won't ever back down to the challenge." So I will start to drink I guess.

GM: All right, Fortitude save.

Deadeye: Ok.

GM: The smell of it, just as you're bringing it up, is enough to start your gag reflex going and as you start to take the couple of first sips, you don't even know how Taury made it as far as she did. You just spit it right back into the cup and set it down.

Deadeye: "Oh, that's disgusting! Do you know what, I am impressed Taury that you got as far as you did! Because oh boy that's, that's something else!"

Taury: I feel like I've disappeared into the back of the crowd as you've turned around. I'm not there.

Deadeye: "You know what, why does she always do this?" Shrug and say, "Well I tried and maybe next time."

GM: "Ah ha ha! You want to drink while you're here?"

Deadeye: "Sure."

GM: "All right. What do you have?"

Deadeye: "I'll take a Whiskey."

GM: "A, Whiskey?"

Deadeye: "Yeah, anything local?"

GM: "Sure, sure, sure." He uncorks the bottle and pours a shot. "Just one shot and make it a double?"

Deadeye: "Sure."

GM: "All right." He pours in some more and slides it over to you. "That'll be 2 silver."

Deadeye: Toss him a 2 silver, down it.

GM: Whatever aftertaste there was from that Hagfish slime, the whiskey eats right through.

Deadeye: I figured it'd be good.

GM: Yeah.

Deadeye: I'll tip my hat to him and then just pop off the stool, and just start walking out.

GM: All right. As Sandpoint recovers from the attack and buries its thankfully few dead. The is citizens do their best to get on with their lives. The cathedral is consecrated the next day, during a much more subdued and indoor ceremony. But by the end of the week, the goblin attack is remembered mostly with chuckles, now that the terror of the raid is over. Images of goblin's accidentally lighting themselves on fire, getting stepped on by horses or drowning in half-full rain barrels, color the memories of the raid in an almost comical light. But one thing the locals haven't forgotten is their new heroes. A few days after the raid. Sheriff Hemlock approaches you, gathers you all together if you weren't together conveniently, and request that you accompany him and Father Zantus to the burial yards, to the Sandpoint boneyard.

Taury: Is a boneyard a graveyard?

GM: Yes.

Markus: "Any particular reason why? Or is that perhaps best to discuss when we get there?"

GM: "I'll go over that on our way up to the boneyard. I know a little bit, but maybe Father Zantus can explain it better, once we all gather and make our way, then all will be explained. Is that agreeable?"

Markus: "Yes, I suppose."

GM: "We're not expecting trouble. But make sure you gear yourselves, and just in case."

Markus: "Right. Yes, I was about to ask. Thank you."

GM: All right. As you all gathered around, Hemlock is there with you. While you're waiting on Father Zantus he begins asking you all questions, such as what your plans are for the future and probing questions, trying to learn more about you, where you come from, that sort of thing. "Deadeye was it? Where do you come from? What do you plan on doing now that you're here?"

Deadeye: "Well, I'm originally from, uh, down there in Magnimar but, uh, sort of made made my way east. Was really just looking for work. Whatever I could do to, do some good or earn some coin."

GM: "All right. That doesn't sound bad."

Deadeye: "Nah this happened so nothing too bad."

GM: "You having luck with that, you thinking about doing that here, or you gonna move on when you can?"

Deadeye: "Yeah. I though I'd start here and see what needs to be done."

GM: "Well, if you're looking to do some good and earn some coin, maybe check the adventure board in The Rusty Dragon."   

Deadeye: "Yeah, I'll do that."

GM: "I'm sure the mayor might have a few things that pop up from time to time, but most paying work for adventuring types, like you're saying, would be found there."

Deadeye: "All right thanks, well, I'll have a look."

GM: He nods and then turns to Markus. "What about you?"

Markus: "Hmm, the adventuring board, sounds interesting, but I don't know. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be staying in town. It's, well I say that but I've already been here longer than I planned, and there are definitely some interesting people um..."

GM: "Mm hmm. Where were you planning on heading? If you don't plan on sticking around these parts?"

Markus: "Oh. The original plan was to head up towards Riddleport."

GM: "Oh, you don't want to go there."

Markus: "Why not?"

GM: "Well its a rough city. Those that enter that place rarely come out, and those that do come out changed."

Markus: "Ah, wasn't quite how it was described to me."

GM: "It's a city, a crime, and it's a no good place. What passes for law there is a bunch of crime lords that have divvied up the city, and control it in sort of like a ball or whatnot, a council of thieves more or less. Nothing good happens there. The pirate king that runs the place, the, he holds the place down like a fort, and everyone pays him tribute. Even the the second most powerful person right under him, the head wizard at the that wizard guild, whatever whatever it is, I forget the name of em. But even they are considered one of the crime lords. It's a rough and tumble place. You don't want to go there if you can avoid it."

Markus: "I see, thank you for the warning. Well, I suppose then I shall have to look for ways to earn my keep in the meantime."

GM: "We'll be happy to have you here doing what you can. We'll see that we provide for you and whatnot with various quests and whatnot, like you were saying with the adventuring board and various work that might come up, I'll see what I can do for you guys." He turns to Taury. "You doing the same as these? You look familiar."

Taury: "Familiar?" She sort of looks at him confused.

GM: "Yeah. You've been here before, right?"

Taury: "Perhaps."

GM: "You don't want to give me a straight answer, I see how it is. Got my eye on you."

Taury: She gonna wink at him.

GM: He just squints and shakes his head. "What about you lass?" pointing at Morana.

Morana: "I'm going to get on with my life, whatever comes up, comes up. Some day, fate'll come for me, until then, I'll survive."

GM: "Oh, okay. I guess that's an answer. What about you, elf?"

Fenwarin: "Well, I'm..." 

GM: "You going to skip back into the woods?"

Fenwarin: "No, no, no, not this time..."

Morana: [Laughs] 

Fenwarin: "I came from Magnimar at first, and decided to see the world, do some adventuring."

GM: "You came for Magnimar?"

Fenwarin: "Yes."

GM: "You a noble?" He's looking you up and down.

Fenwarin: "No. No not even close."

GM: "There's not many city elves. You find a grove or something in the city, you sleep in a park?"

Fenwarin: "No, no, no. But my parents were soldiers, so they were better off than most."

GM: "Aaah. Soldiers, elves who are soldiers, that don't make no sense."

Fenwarin: "Well, it made sense for them, but that wasn't the life for me."

GM: "No, I imagine not being elvish and all."

Taury: Taury would definitely be laughing at that.

Markus: "Come now, surely you must get plenty of elves passing through? This is a port city, is it not? Well, town."

GM: "Eh, we got a few. Most of them come from the inland. It's rare to see an elf on a boat, but again, it happens, on some occasion. Most of them are noble types coming from cities. Which is why I asked if he was a noble, he wasn't really dressed like it, but, you never know. Anyway, we got a couple that come through, Ameiko's really good friends with one of em, a ranger that protects the hinterland areas, and comes into town to resupply, about every month or so. She's a good elf, she shot a lot of goblins during the raid, was a good help."

Markus: "Ah, She was the one that took the rooftop vantage. Yes?"

GM: "Oh, you saw her? Yeah."Between her and the horses at the Goblin Squash Stables, they killed a bunch of goblins. Both of them, [laughs], got a bunch of good trophies from that too."

Deadeye: "We got a fair number as well."  

GM: "Yeah?"

Deadeye: "Oh yeah, at least what? Ten? More?"

GM: "Did you keep their ears? If you go down to the goblin squash stables and give them to Deverin, he likes to nail them up to the boards as a warning to any goblin's that wander into the city. He's got a lot of ears hanging up from the rafters down there."

Deadeye: "Didn't think to do that."

GM: "The entrance is just covered with them."

Deadeye: "I'll keep it in mind, if I ever see more goblins."

GM: "Yeah, if you find one and you learn its name, brand the name into the ear and take it to him, he really likes those ones."

Deadeye: "Good to know."

GM: "Yeah, apparently writing down a goblin's name is the worst thing you can do to desecrate their memory. So he takes a lot of pride in doing that."

Markus: "I see, have the goblin's been a problem before then?"

GM: "Ah, they come through town every once in a while. There's seven or eight tribes around the village and whatnot. Mostly they're just down in the Junkers area, gathering scraps and whatnot. It's how they make their dog slicers and horse choppers and all their useless goblin trash gear. Not sure how to keep em clear there. We'd do a patrol every once in a while, and kill off a couple. But you know, they're like cockroaches, you see one who knows how many are around."

Markus: "Oh, if they want the junk, have you tried negotiating with them? Make it so that they don't cause trouble."

GM: He blinks at you inquisitively.

Markus: "They do have at least some degree of intelligence, do they not?"

GM: "So does it rat? No offense. You don't go trying to bargain with a rat colony, do you?"

Markus: "Depends whether or not they can talk back."

GM: He looks over a Deadeye and looks back, "Trying to get me in trouble with this one aren't you? Trying to be friendly here."

Markus: "I think you're getting yourself in trouble without help from me."

GM: He shrugs. Father Zantus walks in at about this time. "Oh, you managed to gather them, wonderful! A couple days ago during the raid, it seems that one of the crypts was broken into. I noticed the door ajar just this morning, and contacted Sheriff Belor and he insisted that he bring you all along as well. I have no objections to this. If you would like to accompany us, we're about to go check it out."

Morana: "A desecrated crypt, you say?"

GM: "Well, it's at least open and it wasn't previously, hopefully it's not actually desecrated. I'm prepared for the worst, but I hope against hope that it's not true for..." He puts his hand to his face, "This mausoleum was the previous clergyman of this chapel. It would be terrible if he were resurrected, and walks in undeath, it would be an affront to all the gods here. I don't think they would allow that to happen. But we must go check."

Morana: Morana gets that innocent look and says, "Oh, yes, it would be awful."

Markus: Markus will nod at that. "I suppose it is not imprudent to check, especially given some of the recent troubles." On an out of character note, what time of day was it we were all gathered up?

GM: It's morning, just after breakfast.

Markus: So first thing in the morning. "Do you often have trouble with the undead?"

GM: "Oh, no, no. We keep the boneyard well consecrated. While we don't directly revere Pharasma as one of the pantheon of Sandpoint, we do stay vigilant. Sarenrae herself is also quite against the undead, so her blessings usually are enough to consecrate the grounds, and the rights of internment, and holy water, and then sealing the door, it's most often more than enough to prevent any undead from naturally forming."

Markus: "But you worry there's been, unnatural interference?"

GM: "Well, if the crypts been broken into, yes that means that someone could have gotten in there and done something. And consecrations and the like don't prevent meddlesome interference from necromancers, unfortunately. Maybe, and I fear to say this, but maybe, the raid was some orchestrated thing. I heard from one of the town guards that..." and he looks to Belor. "Am I okay to share this or should I not?" Belor nods. "No it's fine, go ahead, if they're inquisitive enough, they'd figure it out anyway it's." He looks around at you all, little shiftily and goes, " Yeah, I trust em. It's not a big deal."

GM: "I, I heard from one of the guards, that they captured a few of the goblins alive and interrogated them. And they said that there was some boss that orchestrated the raid, and that they had some intent to enter the graveyards but they knew nothing about what this mission was because it was, as they said, a secret mission. So they weren't in the know. I guess that makes some sense? If that is true, we we must go check this to see what was up, as it were." Belor nods, grimacingly.

Markus: "Well, I wasn't expecting an encounter with, well, potential encounter with undead. so..."

Morana: Morana just kind of shrugs and says, "Eh, life  will do what it will randomly, might as well check it out, though."

Markus: "Yes. I'm just worried I might not be, I'm aware how underprepared I was when the fight came, so I've been making sure that if the goblins came back or something like that happened, I was ready. But, well I'm not sure how, how effective I shall be against undead if they are there, so."

Morana: "Preparation means nothing in the face of the universe."

Taury: "Quite right Morana."

Markus: "Let's just say we have slightly different perspectives on that. But yes, very well, let's see what happens."

GM: "Yes. It's just up this way, please follow me."

Deadeye: We'll follow.

GM: All right. Set in the shadow of the Sandpoint Cathedral and accessible via gate to the north from several doors leading into the cathedral itself, the expansive cemetery overlooks the Turandarok River. Stone vaults owned by affluent members of the town stand near the cemeteries edges or at its center, while dozens of humble plots, each marked with a simple gravestone, sit amid trees in shrubberies. The boneyard is well-maintained, kept by a man named Naffer Vosk, a deformed smuggler that Father Tobyn took pity on after his ship wrecked just north of town a decade ago. Naffer has found redemption in Sarenrae, and despite his twisted spine that from birth has given him a sinister, lurching gait. He's one of the town's most devout citizens. He keeps this boneyard meticulously clean, and is also responsible for ringing the church bells every day at dawn, noon and dusk. As you are ushered following Father Zantus to the center plots, one of the mausoleums, a 20 foot square stone structure stands here. He tells you, it was used to house the remains of the previous caretakers, priests and acolytes, who served in the cathedral. Specifically, the most recently interned here was Ezakien Tobyn, the former lead priest who died during the fires five years ago. As you look at the mausoleum, you see that the stone door does hang ajar.

Markus: Sorry, when you say ajar, do you mean it's it's swinging open or is it actually off the hinges?

GM: It is off hinge.

Markus: Ooh, ok. So it looks like somebody basically used brute force to get the door open?

GM: Yes.

Deadeye: How, big are the doors?

GM: It's a standard door for a mausoleum.

Deadeye: OK, so they're not like big doors?

GM: No, it's not like a double door or anything.

Deadeye: Oh, ok.

GM: It's just one door that enters and...

Taury: Is it specifically his tomb door that's open, or is it just the whole mausoleum?

GM: The door to the mausoleum itself is open. He was the last to be interned here, but it has got the history of the cathedral's clergy interned here.

Taury: So lots of people. 

Morana: Is it broken inward or outward?

GM: Perception check.

Taury: Was wondering the exact same thing.

Markus: Heck can we all do that.

GM: Yeah, nat 20 now right?

Deadeye: I think they got this ok. 

GM: Deadeye is more looking at the surroundings than examining the mausoleum and it's immediate vicinity directly. So this red square that you're outside of, the square is the mausoleum. The door is right here and everyone but Fenwarin and Deadeye notice that the ground around this mausoleum is churned, and you see many pairs of footprints that look like goblin prints. But there's a set that seems to have been left by a larger humanoid.

Taury: Are the set leaving? Or going into the mausoleum?

GM: That would be a Survival check.

Morana: Will it be Survival to tell what type of humanoid or would that be nature?

GM: Survival.

Taury: Because it's tracking.

Morana: Well, here goes nothing.

Fenwarin: And only those that noticed it right?

GM: Yes, unless you're pointing it out to the other two.

Taury: I wouldn't.

Fenwarin: [Laughing] of course you don't.

Markus: Markus will obviously be going and looking or something, so.

GM: That would put you up in front.

Deadeye: Can I roll survival?

GM: Yeah sure. As they begin inspecting the prints, you notice them as well. Markus and Morana, both of you identify that about six goblins and one medium humanoid have approached, walked around and entered the vault.

Morana: Just entered?

GM: Ah no, entered and left.

Morana: Ok. I was going to say that's important.

GM: Morana, you also notice that the humanoids footprints are heavier, on the exiting. It's a deeper impression on the prints that are leaving the vault than the ones going in.

Morana: "Hmmm", mutters to herself "Yes, so the larger one was fat." Would there... I'm trying to think out how to word this um... Are there types of humanoids that goblins would normally be allied with perhaps?

GM: Hobgoblins are known to organize goblin tribes and lead them. They're more humanoid, but still goblin. No, these are bootprints.

Morana: Oh ok. This changes things.

Deadeye: Wow.

Morana: I will call over the sheriff and the priest and say, "Did you not notice that there, I don't know if it was a person that was with these goblins, or what it may have been, but something was not goblin? So this theory of some secret mission holds water."

GM: "Oh, dear," "I didn't know I was just informed of this this morning. Did you not come up and inspect?" "No, no, no. I saw it from a distance and came to get you immediately before venturing into any any sort of danger, no." "Probably better that you did come get me first. No you're seeing the first of an undisturbed scene man."

Markus: "Yeah, well, that's good, but if you wouldn't have been any of you or your men that were responsible, either somebody else independently, or there's a humanoid working with the goblins, perhaps their leader?"

Morana: Morana surreptitiously looks at the priest's feet and then the footprints.

GM: They don't match, he's wearing more of like a slipper, a soft sole shoe.

Morana: Just making, making sure. Trust no one. And the sheriff's?

GM: It's definitely not the sheriff, his boots are far too big for these.

Morana: All right, Got to cover my bases.

GM: The only other person you can think of following this line of logic would be the groundskeeper Naffer.

Morana: Right. Well, with his deformity, he would probably have some kind of a recognizable pattern?

GM: Yeah, yeah. And this is more of a regular pace, not somebody who's got some sort of deformity.

Morana: Yes, what I figured.

GM: There's no lurching gait as his walking pattern is described.

Fenwarin: So this person may be, could be pulling the strings and is leading the goblins?

Deadeye: "Somebody did something, seems that they were after something in here, it's a little worrisome."

Fenwarin: "Should we investigate inside and see what they took out from there?"

Morana: First, how about a cheeky little Detect magic, just just out of curiosity?

GM: All right. Are you studying for several rounds or?

Morana: Ah, yeah. Just going to look around like the outside, and on the door, and what I can see inside so far.

Fenwarin: Are we clear to go inside and investigate?

Deadeye: Right you go ahead.

Taury: I mean, if you wanted to.

GM: Yeah, if you want to just walk in, that's fine, but...

Taury: I wouldn't advise it, but sure.

GM: ...Morana is obviously casting a spell and looking around intently.

Fenwarin: I'll just wait for Morana to finish with that.

GM: All right. Morana. After several seconds, you identify a moderate aura of necromancy from back here, within the tomb. It's powerful enough that you can see a lump of cloth on the ground through the stone.

Morana: I uhmm... She kind of stares at that corner for a second. Let's see. Identify it. Could I try a Spellcraft?

GM: Yes.

Morana: Ah piss!

GM: No, beyond this being moderates necromancy, this aura, you're not sure what it is.

Morana: "So I'm definitely seeing something necromantic in the back corner."

Deadeye: "Well, that's not good."

Morana: "But I can't tell what it is."

Taury: Can I also try Spellcraft?

GM: Not from just the description.

Taury: So I'd have to roll for Detect magic as well?

GM: Yes. If you have Detect magic then you can go through this process as well.

Taury: Yeah, I can, so.

Fenwarin: I probably should do that too.

GM: All the mages go, "Magic eyes!".

Morana: [Laughing] 

GM: Ok. Yeah, after several rounds of focusing, you also see a lump of cloth looking thing, like in just a pile, glowing with moderate necromancy aura. Back in that corner.

Fenwarin: And then Spellcraft on that to try and identify?

GM: Sure.

Taury: Yeah, I was doing the same.

GM: Fenwarin, you recognize this aura and this shape. It's most likely a robe of bones. It's a sinister item that functions much like a robe of useful items for the serious necromancer. Normally it appears to be an unremarkable robe, but a person who dons it notes that it's adorned with small embroidered figures representing undead creatures. Only the wearer of the robe can see these embroideries, recognize them for the creatures they are, and then detach them. Once the figure is detached, it creates what is that figure's depiction, creating actual undead creatures, such as skeletons or zombies of various types, humans, wolves, horse, goblin zombies, human zombies or even a plague ogre zombie. Why it would just be in this crypt, especially a crypt of the bodies of holy people, you're not sure. Any serious necromancer probably wouldn't leave it behind.

Morana: All right. Nothing else to really see from out here, I guess so in I go.

Deadeye: Is Fenwarin sharing any of that?

Morana: Yeah, that's a good question before I walk in there.

Fenwarin: "Markus."

Morana: "Are you telling us what was you have identified?"

Markus: "Yes."

Morana: "It's not some creature walking around, so in I go."

GM: "Oh, this is dreadful. Do be careful."

Morana: First I'm going to step to this side of the door so I can see the other direction.

GM: Great.

Morana: To detect magic.

GM: It's a 60 foot cone, so as you're looking around, that's the only significant piece of magic you noticed.

Morana: All right, in that case in I go.

GM: All right. The door appears to have been broken open with a crowbar. As you start to open the door...

Taury: Welp!

Morana: "Well, hello there!"

GM: As you reach in and start to open the door, a skeletal hand claws at you, at your wrist. So you open the door and then immediately bony hands!

Morana: "Yeah, get off me!" Slap!

GM: Does a 13 hit your flat footed?

Morana: Oh yeah.

GM: Ok. Good to know. Take 1 point of damage.

Morana: "Ow! You bony bastard!"

GM: And that's initiative. Let's see, Taury, your bonus is a +2, so you will actually go before the skeleton. Morana you have a +2 as well.

Morana: Correct.

GM: So you will before that skeleton. All right. Deadeye, the door is opened, it is dark in there. Do you have dark vision?

Deadeye: I do.

GM: Ok. Then you can see the skeletons at either side beginning to move towards the entrance.

Deadeye: So I could see that guy there right?

GM: Yep.

Deadeye: Then I will pull out my gun and shoot at him. I was already holding it, as we were approaching. ... 13.

GM: 13 hits.

Deadeye: 1 damage, Woo. And then I'm going to reload. Probably scare the old priest?

GM: Ha ha. With the loud noises? Belor will jump a little too, he was not expecting this. Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yes. If I move up here, do I see the skeleton on the left?

GM: Yes.

Fenwarin: Ok, I will try and blast it with a magic missile.

GM: All right. Magic missile auto hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

Fenwarin: And that's a 4. Oh, good.

GM: Markus.

Markus: Undead would generally be immune to mind affecting things, wouldn't they?

GM: They tend to be, some intelligent undead exist, it would be a Knowledge religion to identify if these are susceptible.

Markus: Ok. I'll start with that then... Yes that's not enough.

GM: Even though you rolled a nat 1, your bonus puts it high enough that you do identify these as humanoid skeletons. They are immune to mind affecting effects.

Markus: Yeah, in which case I'm just gonna get out of people's way.

GM: All right. Morana.

Morana: "Oh you Handsy the little bastard! Go back to sleep!" And I'm gonna poke it with cure light wounds.

GM: Ok. Casting defensively?

Morana: Oh, fuck that! [laughs]. Well, I suppose I could. Yeah. Yeah.

GM: I believe you're looking for a DC 17?

Morana: Ok. That's just a D 20 plus...

GM: Your caster level plus your caster modifier.

Morana: Ok.

GM: Or if you've got bonuses specifically for casting defensively from specific feats.

Morana: I mean, if if I don't, it just gets an attack of opportunity right?

GM: Yeah.

Morana: No, fuck that. Not taking the chance of losing it.

GM: Ok. Attack of opportunity engage.

Morana: Ow.

GM: Yeah, it misses. It lurches towards you and you just grab its hand as it's doing so. And channel this positive energy from your care light wounds into it and it explodes into a shower of ash and bone dust!

Fenwarin: Geez [laughs].

Markus: It's not even going to save?

Morana: Morana dusts off her hands, "Inconvenient bastard!" 

Taury: The power of positivity.

GM: Yeah. Combat's done. Good job. All right. After you defeat these undead easily, well done, you guys, a search of the vaults interior turns up two things of interest. First, the robe of bones lies discarded in a corner. There are no patches remaining on this robe. 

Morana: Oow!

Deadeye: Figured.

GM: Second, and more disturbing is the fact that the sarcophagus that did once contain as Ezakien's body, has been opened and his remains are gone.

Taury: I feel like that's unsurprising.

Morana: Yeah.

Deadeye: That's not good. 

Morana: Yeah I was suspecting that.

Taury: They came in to get something I feel like, I would have been like, yup.

GM: Sheriff Hemlock has absolutely no idea who could have done this or why.

Markus: Well, presumably a necromancer of some description.

GM: Yeah, the...

Deadeye: Probably something nefarious.

GM: The sheriff recommends that you keep this information to yourselves in any event, as the townsfolk have had enough distress this week.

Deadeye: Of course.

Markus: Yeah, that's not unreasonable.

GM: All right. "If you want to continue investigating this, please do keep it quiet. I'll look into it on my end and let you know if I find anything of any importance. My guess is that we will probably find out who did this and why, sooner than later. Whether if we find them first, or they enact whatever plan they have. You agree?" He turns to Father Zantus. "Unfortunately, yes. It's terrible, terrible. I'll get a team of clerics out here to re-consecrate this mausoleum as soon as possible. Repair the damages to the door. At least...." 

Deadeye: "Good idea."

GM: "At least they didn't take all the bodies. That's some small comfort."

Markus: "Do we know what was actually in here or was it just his corpse? Or were there other effects with him?'

GM: "Oh, I'm pretty sure it was just his corpse."

Markus: "And no one else was laid to rest here?"

GM: "Mm hmm. No. His daughter, who died with him, was buried in one of the other plots." he points out to the graveyard,  "Not being a cleric, she wasn't granted the rights to be interned with her father."

Markus: "So to the best knowledge that we have available, the only thing, essentially the only thing in here was the body that was laid to rest?"

GM: "In this sarcophagus specifically, yes. In the mausoleum, it's all of the clerics who have died here over the past 40, 50 years of the town's history."

Markus: "Can we do a quick check over those?" Marcus would like to actually go and just inspect to make sure, see whether or not they've been disturbed.

GM: Yeah,  you inspect it. They're all fine. None of them were messed with at all.

Markus: "So someone wanted him specifically it seems?"

Deadeye: "Very strange."

GM: "Yes, but I have no idea why."

Deadeye: "Well, I suppose we'll have to investigate further."

Taury: "Can I roll see if I'd know anything about this guy that they took?

GM: Sure.

Taury: Religion, I assume.

GM: Yip, you just know he was the previous head clergyman, Father Zantus took over his position after the fires and he was Father Zantus's his direct mentor.

That's all the time we have for now. To learn more about the show, the cast, etc. head over to http://wayward-expeditions.com/ .