Wayward Expeditions - Rise of the Runelords - Episode 24
 	Intro: For much of written history world events followed chartered routes. Oracles and seers mapped out the future in the stars above and their prophecies always gave a reliable view of the ages to come. Until a god died a century ago. No one saw that coming. And now the old prophecies are failing, oracles go mad and seers desperately try to account for the loss of the future. While some cry out that the world is at an end, they've been doing so for a hundred years now, and the world is still here, it's just unclear where things are going. The future of Golarian is open, ready to receive the triumphs and failures of a new generation of heroes. Welcome to Rise of the Runelords! 

GM: We're going to start back up with Markus. Markus had stayed behind, you had made mention that you were trying to console Lyrie. How are you doing that?

Markus: To start with, he'll let her cry for a bit, until the sounds of the others departing, basically- yeah, that it's clear that they've actually gone. "I'm sorry, they were somewhat harsh."

GM: She continues sobbing.

Markus: Markus will take time to look around the room. He's not going to interfere with anything, but he's in particular looking out for any signs of her research, anything she might have found or any note she might have taken. Does that need a perception roll?

GM: Yes, you don't see what you're looking for here.

Markus: OK, well, I didn't see her when we first arrived, but given where she was, is there any indication what she was actually working on when we came into the room?

GM: Yeah, on the worktable in the middle of the room, that you were kind of standing across from her, the surface is cluttered with scrolls and books and stone tablets covered with dense, spiky runes, and fragments of carvings that appear to have been chipped off of statues or bas relief or something.

Markus: OK, I'm assuming that the spiky writing is Thassilonian? 

GM: Yes. 

Markus: Markus will have a closer look at those.

GM: You can't read anything of any meaning or significance, it's all fragments and jumbled parts. What chippings of the sculptures and bas reliefs there are, seem to be not arranged correctly, even if assuming that they were from the same source to begin with. The parchments and scrolls that have the runes on them look to be like rubbing or copying of some sort of writing that was found somewhere, and is also either out of context or completely incomplete.

Markus: Given that, is there anything about the way that they've been put back together again or anything along those lines that might suggest that she's perhaps not fluent in Thassilonian?

GM: Linguistics.

Markus: OK, yeah, looking for word combinations that just don't make sense from two pieces next to each other or something like that... Ooh.

GM: Nat 1. You can surmise that that could be the case, but you're not positive.

Markus: Do I see any runes indicating names that I would recognize?

GM: No.

Markus: I take it she's still crying?

GM: Yup.

Markus: Is she giving me any indication that she's paying any attention to anything that he's doing right now?

GM: Perception check... she's aware of you.

Markus: She's aware I'm still there, but she's not actively following movements or anything like that.

GM: Doesn't seem to be.

Markus: OK. Markus will, say something out loud, almost as though he's talking to himself, but loud enough that she could clearly hear it, and he'll speak in Thassilonian. The intent basically being that this should almost come across as he's not necessarily- he's verbalizing thoughts, kind of thing. Trying to think how he'd word it... "Interesting only fragments. Huh. How the mighty have fallen." Does she give any indication of a response?

GM: No.

Markus: Is the cat still trying to comfort her?

GM: Yes.

Markus: Has the cat been paying me attention?

GM: Perception check.

Markus: OK.

GM: Yes, it does seem to be paying more attention to you.

Markus: From what I've seen, would I know what next door is yet? I can't remember from last week.

GM: No, but you did hear a bunch of papers being shoved into a bag as the group stormed through that room.

Markus: OK. Markus will address the cat then directly, "Please let her know if- when she's feeling better I would appreciate talking with her. If she's feeling up to it, I'll be next door. Give the two of you some little space."

GM: High or low?

Markus: High. And with that Markus will take a step toward the doorway, glance back at her, but not say anything and then proceed into the next room to have a look around.

GM: Before you get to walk through the doorway...

Markus: Mm hmm.

GM: She screams, "Even you think I'm useless! Even you won't talk to me directly?!" And burning hands.

Markus: OK. "Ouch!"

GM: All right, well, it's not a nat 1, which is good for you.

Loyal: That's high damage.

GM: You will take full 14 points of fire damage from her burning hands. She then draws a dagger and it leaps from her hand to stab you... That will miss. And as it scratches across your armored coat and then flies back to her hand, and she's readied.

Markus: Point of clarification, Markus isn't wearing his armored coat today.

GM: Oh, you're not.

Markus: It gets deflected by the wind.

GM: OK.

Markus: He still has the armored coat, it's just slung over attached to his backpack basically right now.

GM: OK, that was her turn.

Markus: Well. OK, Markus will take out the wand and cast a healing spell on himself. And then simply say, "You were distraught, I wanted to give you time to regain composure. I did not mean to offend." And will take a step back to where he was.

GM: OK. Are you drawing any weapons?

Markus: No, and I'm hoping that you'll let me make a diplomacy check with that comment.

GM: Yeah.

Markus: Technically, he has a weapon in hand because he's still carrying his shield, but it's not like an actual weapon weapon.

GM: You're not trained in shield bash is what you're saying, right?

Markus: Yeah, do I get to make a diplomacy check or not?

GM: No. No, she just runs out of the room.

Markus: OK. Can I see where she went?

GM: There's only one exit from the room.

Markus: Ignoring the secret door yeah. But basically, if I move towards that same accent, is it obvious which way she went or is she completely gone?

GM: It will be obvious because you can hear her shouting.

Markus: OK.

GM: She she is screaming "Orik! Orik help me!"

Loyal: Do we hear that?

GM: No.

Markus: OK. Yeah, Markus is heading for the secret door then, and back down.

GM: Back down? OK. Would you like high or low?

Markus: Let's go with low this time..

GM: Low it is. OK, you have escaped combat. The rest of the group, we left you in a large room packed with a soil floor.

Loyal: Harpy wings.

GM: Yeah,

Taury: Yeah.

GM: It looks like hunting trophies of some form or whatnot are in this room.

Morana: Yes, with a harpy stapled to the wall.

Taury: It's just a casual harpy don't worry about it, it's fine.

Ishmael: It's fine, it's fine.

GM: Yeah, there are there are a number of doors leading out of this, this room. Ishmael, you're closest to a set of double doors, the rest of the group is back near the staircase. Morana can make a perception check.

Morana: All right, one moment.

GM: We'll give you a chance to hear the the screams for assistance downstairs. All right, you do faintly hear Lyrie screaming for Orik down the staircase that you came up. You are just barely hearing this over the sounds of growls that are coming from behind this door.

Loyal: Cool.

Taury: Sweet.

GM: Growls and yipping or very high pitched barks, coming from over here.

Taury: Yelps, great.

Loyal: Goblin dogs.

GM: As your party is discussing these harpy wings and the silver dagger and stuff, Ishmael were you about to kick open the door?

Ishmael: No, I was about to roll a perception to see what I hear before I kick open the door.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: So 26.

GM: All right, you also hear the growls and noises from behind this door over here, and the door that you're next to, you hear what sounds like rain.

Ishmael: Oh, OK. Like, do I hear any other sounds like outside or is it just rain?

GM: Just sounds like rain.

Ishmael: OK.

Morana: Meanwhile, Morana is looking back down the hall, rubbing the bridge of her nose like, "Oh god!"

Ishmael: "What's your problem now?"

Morana: "So..." and she looks around, "I think we're going to have problems."

Ishmael: "Aaaah... what problems?"

Loyal: "Hey, where's Markus?"

Morana: "That's a good question. "It might have some-"

Loyal: "I thought he was behind you?"

Morana: "I didn't know, but it might have something to do with the fact that 'Her High Uselessness' is yelling for help!"

Ishmael: "Great. Well, let's go save Markus, and hopefully diffuse this whole 'woman-you-fucking-yelled-at-until-she-cried' situation."

Taury: "You will soon learn that Morana has a habit of making people cry when she's around them."

Ishmael: "What? People crying? That's-"

Taury: "Yes, it's not the first time, and it surely won't be the last."

Morana: "Wait! Wait! Who the hell else has cried?"

Taury: "Oh, what is it? Am- Ameiko, is that her name?"

Ishmael: "Cool, aaaah...like it's-"

Morana: "I never ripped into her-"

Loyal: "Morana didn't make her cry though."

Morana: "No."

Ishmael: "As much as I would love to hear this story, I feel like Markus might be in danger and that might be more of importance? I mean it's-"

Morana: "Ameiko cried because her father was dead!"

Ishmael: Just, like Ishmael just face palms. Just like "I... Just..." Like Ishmael is now rubbing the bridge of his nose. "All right cool." So Ishmael just starts moving back towards where they came, to to find out where the hell Markus is. I did go the right way right? Like it's back through this-?

GM: You did not

Ishmael: Damn it! Damn it!

Taury: Markus.

GM: Are you going through those doors or?

Ishmael: No, I'm going, I'm going-

Taury: That's where the growling is coming from! 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: I'm going back the direction we came, I- it's just been a week and I don't remember what door it was. This door?

Taury: It's the corridor.

Ishmael: Yeah, I'm going back.

Morana: Ishmael got confused.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: It's contagious I'm sorry.

Loyal: I don't know which one is which.

GM: I will just put you back.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: So I guess I run into Fen and Loyal or?

Loyal: No we were, we were all up there, so essentially I think You're going In first.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Well, Taury would have been checking the other doors.

Ishmael: All right.

Taury: The doors that were outside, or sounded like that was outside, she would have been-

GM: By checking, you mean opening or?

Taury: No. Listening in, and if there was nothing sus about it, she probably would have opened the one that seemed like it was external.

Loyal: We don't need this right now. We don't need this right now.

Taury: Just to look through it, not wide open, but just to see if it opened and-

GM: All right, you open the door after not hearing anything but the sounds of wind and rain. And it opens to the outside. In front of you, you see that wooden bridge, that rope bridge that connects Thistletop proper to this  island placed to the shores on the other side.

Taury: And are there any, I want to say people, but are goblins people?

GM: You don't see any goblins around.

Taury: There's no sign of life?

GM: No. It's raining heavily now that you've opened the door

Loyal: So close to getting out of here.

GM: And you can see that this building is made of thick wood. A closer inspection, as you are like- are literally right next to it with your face. You see that most of the wood seems to have been scavenged from shipwrecks. You see a couple nameplates that remain affixed to some of the beams, while other timbers look like they might have once been masts and other planks and whatnot from obvious ship type formations.

Taury: Mm hmm. And you're telling me it looks flammable?

GM: It does not.

Taury: But it's wooden.

GM: It is wooden, but because of the dampness of the sea air, the fact that it is currently raining.

Taury: Oh, it's pissing rain. I forgot about that.

GM: There's also layers of soggy moss and lichen that grow all over the place. 

Taury: It's been there for ages.

GM: You know that it would be very, very difficult to burn this place down, which is probably why the goblins themselves haven't accidentally burned it down themselves.

Taury: That's fair. That's a fair point. So she would sort of take in what she saw from outside, pull the door closed and then follow the group, probably try and catch up to be in front of them, beside Ishmael.

GM: So you rush by them all on the stairs and get down by Ishmael.

Ishmael: Right, I start making my way towards the shouting of "help" or, you know, back where Markus was.

GM: You don't have to, because as you are looking to where the sounds are coming from, Lyrie comes through the door that you had left open and runs over here without even paying attention that you guys are there.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: And Taury would have immediately tried to attack her.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Like, if she had enough opportunity to notice that it was her, she would have.

GM: She would have been out of reach, but cool.

Taury: Well she would have swung for her anyway, and missed.

Ishmael: "Great, everything's violence with you huh? Right. Anyway."

GM: All right.

Taury: "Well, we don't know where Markus is."

GM: You definitely startle her as she opens this door.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: And then runs into it.

Ishmael: Into the door, or into the room?

Taury: [Laughs] She just runs face first into a door.

GM: Into the room.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: I don't like that.

GM: And you can hear her from down the hallway going "Orik help me! Orik! Intruders!"

Loyal: "Should we lock the door?"

Taury: "Absolutely."

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: "I found the exit."

Loyal: "Perfect let's find Markus and leave."

Taury: "Yes someone grab him by the collar."

GM: All right, we are in turn order now, though.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Awesome.

GM: We're going to keep her in the turn order, Markus we're going to remove you because you went another direction.

Taury: Oh God. [Laughs] We've done this before, as well, in the last dungeon this is exactly what we did. We went in opposite directions.

GM: Yeah. There is a theme with this group, yes.

Loyal: Oh, nice.

Taury: We survived that time, though, right? Oh God, look at that 8.

Loyal: Yeah. [Chuckles]

Taury: Good lord. 1 less than I got last time for initiative.

GM: Fenwarin, you are the first to act after this.

Fenwarin: Yeah, so are they down the stairs to the right of me then?

GM: You won't know 'til you get all the way down the stairs.

Fenwarin: Yeah OK. Just checking what I have. OK, I'm going to move down here. I think that's good enough.

GM: OK. You can easily tell where she went because of the open doors.

Ishmael: OK, I'll just get my wand ready for the next round.

GM: OK. Taury, I believe you can see Lyrie peak around the corner the whole way.

Taury: I can see the edge of her now yeah.

GM: You see her peak around the the corner of the hallway and flick a wand at you, it will be a magic missile for 4 damage.

Taury: On me?

GM: Yup.

Taury: I mean, I did just swing at her so, you know.

GM: Morana.

Morana: Hmm... I'm gonna move down here and to there. And if I can, yeah, Morana sounds positively bored with this at this point, and she just kind of leans her head so she can see down the hallway to where these magic missiles came from. And says "By all the gods, you've seen that this woman is dead! You've seen that her dog is dead! We told you the demon is dead! Do you really think this ends in a win for you?!" And attempt an intimidate check.

Fenwarin: Oh Yeah.

Morana: Actually before attempting the check tack on to the end, "Especially given what we've seen of you thus far?!"

Taury: Yeah, hurt her feelings more. That'll work.

GM: Roll it.

Loyal: Oof!

Fenwarin: Wow!

Loyal: That's pretty good.

Taury: That's decent.

GM: Fighting through a rage sob, you hear her scream at you, "Did you kill Tsuto too?!"

Morana: "Tsuto? No! he was killed in a jail cell because he murdered his father!"

GM: "Lies!" Loyal.

Loyal: Do these doors have like locks on them?

GM: You won't know until you try it.

Taury: You're just cannot close the door on her? [Laughs]

Loyal: Yeah, close and lock it. [Laughs]

Taury: Just slams the door in her face as she screams "Lies!" Door slams.

Loyal: Fuck off, just fuck off.

Ishmael: As in just "I'm leaving." Just smart.

Loyal: I'll try it. I'll try it.

Ishmael: I respect that.

Taury: "Bye Felicia."

Loyal: Yeah, I'll try it.

GM: OK.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: You close the door.

Ishmael: Well, OK.

GM: And it does not appear to have a lock.

Taury: Just going to stand there holding it. [Laughs]

Loyal: [Laughs] Don't think I have the strength for that.

Taury: You're not coming out until you calm down!

Loyal: No! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: There's no ike handle or anything? 

GM: Yeah. 

Loyal: Um.. Do I have anything.

Taury: You could take the bar out of it.

Ishmael: Just jam a broom and in between.

Loyal: That's what I'm thinking, like find something.

Taury: Yeah, but if if you take the bar out of one of those knobs, the door won't open, the little bar blocks it, don't ask how I know that.

Loyal: Is there any way to lock this door? Or Jam it?

GM: Disable device check.

Loyal: Hoo hoo hoo.

Fenwarin: Come on... Wow! 

Ishmael: Shit. OK.

Taury: That's such a nice roll

Loyal: Yeah. [Laughs]

GM: OK, so you jam some stuff near the hinges, so it's not going to be easy to open at all, you've disabled the door and essentially locked it, but someone could brute force their way through.

Taury: Like Orik?

Loyal: That's my guess. All right, I've done my job.

Taury: Yeah, just wait until Orik gets here.

Ishmael: All right, cool. "So, this a now problem or a later problem?"

Loyal: "I think I've bought us some time, but I'm not sure."

Ishmael: "Might as well deal with the problem now." Ishmael like draws a sword and takes a step forward, activaite his rong of force shield and just wait. That's his action, he ends his turn. Like preparing to attack when, you know, Orik comes slamming through the door, or whatever comes through a door near him, within his reach.

Loyal: Markus.

Taury: Let's just hope that Orik's a person and not her like fucking demon dog.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Another Barghest yes!

Loyal: No.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] Oh my god.

Taury: "Oh, here is Johnny!"

GM: All right, you hear heavy footsteps running down the hallway towards you, Loyal as you're just finished jamming this door shut. Are you leaning against it or are you turning to move away?

Loyal: I was trying to move away.

GM: Turning to move away? All right. That's good for you. I'll give you a reflex save now.

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: All right.

Loyal: 17's not bad.

GM: You may move in a five foot direction anywhere you wish away from this door.

Taury: Please, into Ishmael's arms. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] As Ishmael's holding him, "This is not the time for this." 

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: OK. The door gets bashed in and flies towards Taury, does not get all the way to her as Orik storms into the room.

Ishmael: So?

GM: Yes, your attack of opportunity will go off.

Ishmael: All right, cool.

Taury: I love how it's always me, it's always me. [Laughs]

Ishmael: It's always you.

Taury: I didn't do anything there. And it was me that got attacked.

GM: You're not being attacked, he's just he's rushing towards you.

Ishmael: 17.

GM: Because you're directly out of-

Taury: Listen, that door was attacking me.

GM: [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: The door was?! OK.

Taury: I'm joking.

Fenwarin: You also look threatening so.

Taury: Hey this is true.

GM: 17 misses.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Ah man.

Ishmael: Yeah, all good. Whatever.

Loyal: Delicious.

GM: All right, Taury. It is now your turn.

Taury: All righty. Great! The plan that I had is not going to work now because he's right in front of me. [Chuckles] Although it might be worth risking it anyway.

Morana: Is he just charging in, does he have a weapon ready? What's the-?

Taury: Yeah, actually, that's a good question.

GM: He is carrying a large steel shield with spikes on it and appears to be also carrying a bastard sword.

Taury: Of course he is.

GM: He has a long bow on his back, it looks like it might be a composite longbow.

Taury: So you run away, he's going to get you. [Laughs] OK cool.

Loyal: The door's off the hinges, I can't just lock it again and lock the wizard in.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: I was going to cast murderous command.

Loyal: Oh.

GM: That's a fun one.

Taury: Can I do that? [Chuckles] Or do I have a roll to do that? Probably do.

GM: I believe there's a will save attached with that one.

Taury: There is a will save. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

GM: Yep, so are you casting that?

Taury: I would like to, yes, so-

GM: And you're not casting defensively? 

Taury: No.

GM: OK.

Taury: So... Yeah.

Loyal: Oof!

GM: He strikes you with the bastard sword, you will take 12 slashing damage. You now need to make a concentration roll. You are trying to get a DC of double that damage. So you need a 24 or better to cast your spell.

Loyal: Nice.

Taury: Great.

Fenwarin: Holy shit.

Taury: Did that roll correctly?

GM: It did. Yeah, so you are interrupted by this attack and you lose your concentration and fail to cast a spell. You've still expended the spell, you just don't get the effects.

Taury: Yeah, yeah. Can I also use fervor because it's a swift action?

GM: You may.

Taury: Sweet. So I'm going to do that to heal.

GM: Fenwarin, as you're about to start doing your turn, Orik realizing what's going on now, from Lyrie and stuff yells, "Alarm! Alarm! Bruthazmus get out here! Now!"

Fenwarin: "Shit!"

Loyal: "You had to stay back Markus."

Fenwarin: I'm going to take a five step up here and then cast magic missile on Orik.

GM: All right.

Loyal: Normal or wand?

Fenwarin: Normal! Well, normal wand in this case.

Loyal: Oh, you got the normal wand, right right.

Fenwarin: Oh, crap! Well, 5 damage.

Taury: It's better than nothing.

GM: 5 damage.

Fenwarin: Oh shit.

Loyal: Oh, this is the bugbear that was mentioned yeah? Yes, I'm pretty sure we heard that name before.

Morana: Yep.

Loyal: Cool.

Taury: "I think we should run." [Whispering]

Loyal: "Without Markus? Just fucking leave Markus here?"

Ishmael: "I think we're beyond the running part." [Whispering]

Taury: Oh I don't think so, I think those doors are definitely lockable before Bruthazmus gets in here.

Loyal: We can run.

Taury: A tactical retreat.

Loyal: Tactical abandoning of Markus.

Taury: He abandoned himself. [Chuckles] All right?

Loyal: That's fair.

GM: He abandoned himself? [Laughs]

Loyal: I agree with that statement, but-

Fenwarin: We're just bravely running away.

Taury: Well, we'll come back, it's just whether or not we recollect his corpse or him alive.

Loyal: Brave, brave Sir Robin- ah and there's goblins.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] Oh shit! Oh no! Everyone's coming to this room now.

Taury: "Yeah, do we agree that we should run right?"

Loyal: ""Where? I guess down.

Fenwarin: "Yeah, where?"

Loyal: "Down the-"

Taury: "Out the fucking front door that we found!" 

GM: [Laughs]. 

Taury: The door that Terry just told you that was definitely the exit.

GM: Descending, OK, Fenwarin, you hit Orik with 5 damage. Lyrie, will... What will she do? What can she help with?

Fenwarin: Crying?

Loyal: Can she cry? Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, poisonous tears, tears of deception.

GM: Taury, you look big and strong.

Taury: Indeed.

Loyal: I mean, DC 0!? Yay! [Laughs]

GM: That is definitely not correct.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] And she somehow gets a -1.

GM: What is the DC?

Loyal: I think it's an attack roll and then if it hits that's the DC.

Taury: See, that scares me when you go to do a thing and it doesn't auto calculate it correctly, you're like, oh no.

GM: Yeah, it is a ray, so it is a range touch. Does a 17 hit your touch? Taury.

Taury: Oh yeah it does.

GM: OK. So the ray strikes you. And you will need to make a fortitude save, I believe.

Taury: Great. What do I have to beat?

GM: It is a 15.

Taury: Oh great. Awesome.

Ishmael: It'll be fine.

Taury: Oh, I'm going to get melted.

Loyal: You probably have decent fortitude saves.

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Taury: Oh.

Loyal: There you go.

GM: You make it exactly. Well done!

Loyal: Half, half of the penalty.

Taury: Such a clutch. [Chuckles] Do we hear these other people approaching yet?

GM: No.

Taury: OK, awesome. Because I would imagine Taury anyway, is definitely listening for the backup, considering that they were calling for backup.

Loyal: Yeah.

GM: All right, so half of 3 is 1, you will take 1 point of strength damage.

Taury: OK, great. Oh, fuck.

GM: Yeah, it is temporary, it will come back in a few rounds.

Markus: Uh huh.

Loyal: Yeah, so I do have the restoration wand on me?

Taury: I'd prefer a healing, if you don't mind.

Loyal: Don't have any of that. Unfortunately, I am all out of that. Completely out!

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: So that was Lyrie trying to be helpful. Loyal.

Taury: I mean.

Loyal: You know, I guess I like five foot step and then-

Ishmael: Jumps into Ishmael's arms.

Taury: Yeah. He jumped down when he loved the door.

Loyal: Well, I guess I'll draw my crossbow and fire it at that, 'cause I don't want to throw a bomb at this close range. Go go gadget crossbow.

GM: That will hit.

Loyal: Yeah, 3 points piercing, then I will move action reload it.

GM: Morana.

Morana: Morana looks mildly exasperated. "Oh, this one actually looked like he might understand some kind of sense." And she is going to cure light on Taury.

GM: Defensive?

Morana: Oh, I suppose...

Ishmael: [Laughs] 

Morana: I'm pretty sure that makes it.

Loyal: Yeah, that's fine.

Taury: That's 10 points of healing right?

Morana: Yes.

Taury: Sweet. Thank you.

Morana: And she's going to five foot step and she's going to say, "OK, long story short, Nualia is not in charge anymore due to, well, circumstances of un-life. The giant demon in the basement has joined her."

Ishmael: To point out both of their heads are just hanging off of Ishmael's waist, just like-

Morana: And the yeth hound's is hanging off of Morana's. 

All: [Laugh] 

Morana: She is going to be like, "The plans to destroy Sandpoint no longer exist. You have really no reason to follow her orders anymore because her money has also dried up with her. If she was paying you, I don't even know. We couldn't get word one out of the other one. We were just here to handle the situation of the invasions of the town, if you had nothing to do with that, as she said she didn't, she was just here to research. I don't know, maybe you were just here to protect her, or what you were here for I have no idea. If you weren't here to destroy the town, you're none of our concern. And you can just go."

GM: Diplomacy.

Morana: Boy, that's my worst one!

Taury: Oh boy.

Morana: That didn't-

Ishmael: Roll right.

Loyal: D20+

Taury: Yeah. Plus hope. [Laughs]

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: Yeah. Plus long stretch.

GM: Good thing you get to reroll that because you messed up the type huh?

Loyal: Yeah that was a 3. I guess it's a good thing you buffed it up.

Taury: Oh wow!

Morana: Fucking dice!

Loyal: Rolls another 3!

Fenwarin: Holy hell!

Taury: Fucking Monkas!

Loyal: [Laughs] God damn it.

Fenwarin: It just wanted to stick with it. Jesus.

Taury: We were so badass last session, and it's just all falling apart today. [Laughs]

Loyal: This is where we die, we all die.

Taury: Yeah, yeah, to a goblin right?

Ishmael: How did you guys go from "yeah" to all pessimistic and everything else?

Loyal: [Laughs] Because we're out of resources now.

Morana: No, that's all right, that can fail. I've got alternative plans for the next dialog.

Taury: Punch him in the throat and run away. [Laughs]

Morana: No, my second best charisma skill.

Taury: Also, just with you guys both having heads like tied to like your bodies, are your clothes just drenched in their blood?

Loyal: Probably.

Taury: Or it's just dripping?

Ishmael: Sure.

Morana: Probably the side of one leg.

Loyal: And the goblins. Fucking goblins.

GM: All right, the door next to the hall across from where Ishmael is standing bursts open and a naked female goblin charges out with a knife in hand at Morana.

Loyal: Shoulda locked that door

GM: Behind her, the waft of nasty goblin sex trails. Taury. Inside, you can see two more just like her and Bruthazmus pants around his ankles trying to gather his gear.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Yes.

Taury: I hate that.

Morana: Morana stares distastefully.

Loyal: Yes.

Taury: Definitely gagging from Taury.

Ishmael: Well, this is-. 

Fenwarin: Ah man! 

Ishmael: Never a dull moment.

GM: Inside that room Taury you can see- Let me pull up...

Taury: Oh god there's images of this. [Laughs]

GM: -the description of the room.

Loyal: OK. Images, that would have been-

Fenwarin: It's a kill room.

Taury: [Laughs] It's not a kill room,

Fenwarin: It's a kill room. 

Taury: -he just said what it was.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: Dozens of ratty cushions, lumpy pillows and rumpled dog skin furs lie heaped in the south half of this room chamber, which smells of a nauseating mixture of vinegar and rotten flowers.

Taury: Oh god, I hate it.

Loyal: Oh god it's the goblin orgy room.

Taury: It's the goblin yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. [Laughs]

GM: Yup, the stink of the air is horrifyingly enough, a perfume worn by the goblin women who lounge about in this chamber, or they were lounging.

Taury: I don't know if lounging is what they were doing. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: I want to roll a D100 to see if Taury throws up.

GM: By all means, feel free.

Taury: 'Cause I want to do that. [Chuckles]

GM: It will not affect your actual actions, you're not officially nauseated, but you can have the response  [Laughs]

Taury: Awesome... No, she barely, barely holds it down.

Ishmael: Threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Taury: Probably stays in her in her mouth, and then she swallows the vomit.

Loyal: Ah!

GM: Yup.

Fenwarin: Oh yuk.

GM: Yup.

Ishmael: Af ooh.

GM: OK, so that happens. Ishmael it is now your turn.

Ishmael: Cool. Since we leveled and we got access to our second level spells do we have those or no?

GM: You do.

Ishmael: OK, cool. I take a five foot step to here and I would like to make a concentration check, as I do a full round action.

Markus: Do you actually have slots available?

Ishmael: I mean, would we not gain them, if we?

Taury: No, that's- we don't.

Ishmael: Ah.

Taury: Like if you had them beforehand then yeah, but.

Fenwarin: That's fair then I... Ah then I use my last-

GM: You know what? I'm going to roll that since you just leveled up, even though you haven't had the full night's rest to prepare, you do have your spell slots and access to your new spells. I think you need that little bit of help.

Ishmael: Yeah, cool. Then I still make my concentration check. Yeah, I make it, my DC was a 19.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: So now I'm going to attack.

Loyal: Wooooh!

Ishmael: Woah.

GM: Nat 20.

Loyal: Hell yeah!

Fenwarin: Woah!

GM: Roll to confirm.

Taury: Nice.

Loyal: Maybe. [Laughs]

GM: 17 will not confirm.

Loyal: Unfortunate.

Ishmael: Flanking? Flanking?

Loyal: Oh flanking?

Taury: It's still, oh yeah actually.

Loyal: +2.

GM: Flanking will not help you confirm.

Loyal: Fuck it's AC20!

Ishmael: Damage! Where were you when I was my fucking-? Damn it! All right.

Taury: God damn it.

Ishmael: Fucking damn it!

Loyal: Still hits though, at least.

Taury: It's still a great-

GM: It hits, it's just not a crit.

Fenwarin: Yeah, all right. So this will be, I guess this would just be what a regular hit? 

GM: Yup.

Ishmael: So that's 12 damage?

GM: With the spell?

Ishmael: Ah, well I mean, I thought I get two attacks, so I guess I get a weapon attack and then a spell attack?

GM: Oh so you're doing the weapon first?

Fenwarin: Yeah, and then.

Markus: Are you doing conventional touch attack with a spell, or are you doing it as a weapon attack?

Fenwarin: Yeah, yeah. I'm doing a spell strike, isn't that a full round and then I get two attacks?

GM: No.

Ishmael: OK, well then here's-

Markus: Yeah, it's it's a full round, you cast a spell as part of that full round, and you get your attack, and you get the touch attack from the spell as part of that.

GM: Yeah, so your touch spell discharges on the hit of the weapon, you add your weapon damage and the spell damage all in one.

Ishmael: OK gotcha, gotcha. Ah, right. 

Loyal: If only it had been a crit!

Taury: That's thematically really fucking cool by the way.

Loyal: Yeah, that's a really cool one.

Markus: Yeah and that's why magi are often crit monsters yes.

Taury: It's a bit like Hagrid with his umbrella wand.

Loyal: [Laughs] Sure.

Ishmael: Well, then this is the damage from the spell.

Loyal: Holy shit!

Fenwarin: That's all cold damage and he's staggered for 1 round.

Taury: Ooh that's nice.

GM: All right, so you have done-

Taury: A fuck ton of upset.

Loyal: Yeah, [Laughs] he is upset.

Ishmael: 29 damage.

Taury: That's so much damage.

Loyal: Oh ho ho!

Morana: Yes, that's big ouchies.

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: Yes.

Taury: Thats a spicy oof!

Ishmael: And then I would like to follow up with like clearly just, "[Groan] I guess we're doing this, or you guys can stand down now." I guess diplomacy bluff, I don't know, like, I guess I'm lying through my teeth.

Morana: That seems more like a call for intimidate.

Taury: I would yeah, that's an intimidate.

Ishmael: All right. I mean I can do that too. 

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Because you just fucking super hurt 'em.

GM: No, you can't.

Ishmael: I can't?

GM: You do not have the feats or skills to do an intimidation as part of an attack. 

Morana: Oh.

Ishmael: Yeah, so.

Taury: Ah man.

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: So I'm not able to roll bluff, diplomacy any of that? No?

GM: No.

Ishmael: I'm just speaking out just like, "Can we not do this?"

GM: Yeah you're just talking.

Ishmael: Yeah like "Let's not do this. I know I just hit you, but that's just to get your attention to fucking stop it."

Taury: It's the gentle tap on the shoulder.

Loyal: The bitch slap to get your attention.

GM: All right, it's Orik's turn.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, that's coming for me.

GM: He turns, looks at you, steps back five feet, "Your friend just said, that we didn't have to do this and then you fucking stabbed me in the back? What the hell?" 

Taury: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] 

Taury: Oh no, this one,s smart.

Ishmael: "Again, as I pointed out, it was just to get your attention."

Loyal: And Loyals like, no, no, no, no, no, no, go away.

Ishmael: Please, please, please. Yeah OK.

Loyal: Please go away.

Taury: Is Loyal like physically shrinking into the wall?

Loyal: Yes, he's like, there's a door next to him, he's like 'hmm', I'm getting into the doorway.

Taury: Please don't open another door.

Ishmael: Like is he attacking or is he just yelling at me at this point?

GM: He's just yelling at you.

Ishmael: That's fair, like he can continue to yell at me, "Well then call off the goblins and everything then."

GM: "I'm not in charge of them!"

Ishmael: "I see."

GM: As one rushes out to stab you.

Taury: With it's dangly bits all over the place. 

GM: Yup.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] That's a fun image.

GM: Goblin fun times.

Ishmael: It misses, like I'd like to imagine that it's knife just bounces off the force shield, the Sihedron.

Taury: Why did they have swords in their orgy room?

Ishmael: Because goblins.

Taury: [Laughs] Seems like a hazard, but all right.

GM: Do not question the goblin wives.

Taury: I really don't want to. [Laughs] Wives?

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: It makes it worse somehow.

GM: That's the actual name, goblin wife. All right, Taury, it's now your turn.

Taury: Okey doke. Oh god, who should she hit? I'm going to attack the goblin I feel like-

Morana: I recommend the goblins.

Taury: I feel like the goblins are more of a threat.

Loyal: Yeah I recommend those.

Taury: Yeah, so she's going to take a swing with her scythe for the goblin immediately to her right.

GM: Yes, that does hit and you deal enough damage to instantly kill this goblin.

Taury: Thank fuck.

Fenwarin: Nice.

Loyal: Head clean off.

GM: Bruthazmus, finishing pulling up his pants peers out, sees you slaughter.

Morana: That was my favorite one! Stab.

Taury: Wife number two was always my favorite goddamnit!

Morana: Oogah ooh noooo!

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: Yeah, insert Vader scream here.

Ishmael: Noooo!

Taury: Also gonna use the second fervor to heal in the same previous turn... For a whopping 2. 

Loyal: For 2.

Taury: Great.

GM: All right, can he see Fenwarin is the question?

Taury: Ork daddy?

GM: Bruthazmus, he can.

Fenwarin: Uh hmm.

Loyal: Hmm.

Taury: Yikes.

Loyal: That's a big yikes.

GM: All right.

Taury: That's a spicy oof over here, folks.

GM: Bruthazmus yells, "Aaaaah! You interrupted my fun times. Die elf!" and charges straight straight towards Fenwarin. 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Does that provoke?

GM: Yes.

Taury: Yes, that would be an attack of opportunity for me right?

Loyal: From Ishmael and Taury I'd imagine.

Ishmael: All right.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah.

Ishmael: That misses, but it's just.

Loyal: Oh.

Taury: Do we miss at both?

Loyal: I guess maybe one of those slots-

Ishmael: Well, I mean he takes a negative to his AC, like- 

Taury: Would it technically be counted as flank, since he's moved between me and Fenwarin?

Loyal: Like if he moved in that little space in between, it might be considered flank.

GM: I will allow you to attack him with flank both, but both will still miss. 

Loyal: God damn it. [Laughs] 

Taury: God damn it. But I thought the +2 might do it. [Laughs] Listen, the tanks are upset, but we'll carry on.

GM: [Laughs] All right, now this is against a favorite enemy.

Fenwarin: Oh no what does that mean?

Loyal: Cool. [Laughs]

Taury: Oh no. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Oh no! What does that mean?

Loyal: Means he hates elves!

Taury: Well you know what it means Fen.

Fenwarin: I know, I know what it means but what does it mean in the system?

Taury: It means don't look down. That's what it means. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah. Oh, he's got the hots for me, I got it, yeah.

Taury: Keep eye contact!

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: All right ,so this will be with +2's because he really enjoys killing elves.

Fenwarin: OK.

GM: You notice he's wearing a necklace of elf ears.

Ishmael: Fuck! Of course he is.

Taury: Oh god.

Fenwarin: All right.

Loyal: Oh my god! [Laughs]

Taury: Oh boy.

GM: So that will be 17 points of damage because of the additional +2.

Fenwarin: Ow!

Ishmael: Oh god no! No! No, not an elf. You can't kill our elf!

Loyal: That no!

Taury: He can't kill our elf!

Ishmael: This is not allowed!

Fenwarin: But why did it had to hit?! God damn it.

Loyal: He's trapped in a corner right now too!

Fenwarin: Yeah, I am extremely hurt!

Loyal: Yeah.

GM: Bruthazmus has a very toothy, gleeful grin on his face as he's expecting to get to slaughter another elf.

Fenwarin: Uh huh.

GM: Fenwarin it is now your turn.

Fenwarin: Fucking hell.

GM: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: I am so tempted, you have no idea.

Taury: You're going to have to elaborate, 'cause that sounds weird right now.

Loyal: Tempted to what?

Fenwarin: Oh you know.

Taury: Little do you know that-

Loyal: Backfire wands?

Ishmael: Assert dominance?

Loyal: T-pose on the bugbear!

GM: [Laughs]

Taury: 'T-pose'?! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Pull dagger out, cut off dick, no. 

Loyal: 'Cut off dick'?! [Laughs]

Taury: Fen just starts taking off all of his clothes.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Screaming "You want fun time?! I'll show you fun time!"

Fenwarin: [Laughs] I'm going to attempt to cast my cursed wand at him.

Loyal: Oh no.

Taury: Oh boy.

Fenwarin: OK.

Loyal: Please no, please don't do this to us, that is- 

Fenwarin: Fuck! 

Loyal: No!

Fenwarin: I knew it, I fucking knew it, it's the balance of the whole thing.

Loyal: [Laughs] He's gonna kill himself with his own wand!

Taury: Maybe, maybe he'll appreciate it though, because you're helping him kill you.

GM: The minimum amount of damage you can deal to yourself is 6 points.

Fenwarin: Yeah. 

GM: Let's see How bad it gets...

Loyal: I mean, it's going to matter for a negative yeah?

GM: Yeah. Yeah, even at the lowest amount, Fen is falling unconscious.

Fenwarin: Yup.

Loyal: Fuck shit fuck.

Ishmael: Oh no. Oh.

Loyal: He's in a bad space too. OK.

Taury: For the second time in the campaign.

Fenwarin: Well, I am a squishy wizard, so.

Loyal: Squishy wizard boy. 

Taury: Yeah.

GM: Fenwarin, you are now unconscious.

Fenwarin: Yup.

Taury: That is so unfortunate.

GM: I will mark a death save marker on you so I can remember to have you try to stabilize if no one gets to you.

Fenwarin: Oh?

GM: Lyrie from around the corner calls out, "Orik! You still ok?”

Ishmael: If only he was already dead, just toss head back. [Laughs]

Morana: [Laughs]

Ishmael: "Stand down Lyrie!" 

"But they killed Tsuto and everyone else!" 

"Not yet they haven't, but they will if you don't." 

Loyal it's your turn.

Loyal: OK, does invisibility still work on unconscious creatures? That's what I want to know.?

GM: It would, but then they would be invisible for you to try to help them.

Loyal: Yes.

GM: Also feeding someone a potion is a full round action that provokes.

Loyal: I figured the provoking part.

GM: Just making sure you're aware of what you're doing.

Loyal: It's just a thing of like if he's on the ground, the bugbear's just going to keep beating the shit out of him.

Taury: But also, like you'd know where he was because of, if he's unconscious, he's not exactly going to move anywhere.

Loyal: I mean, he's still invisible, it's a matter of patching up wounds is kind of hard when they're invisible.

Taury: Right.

GM: Ah huh. Anything you try to do to Fen at that point would be a 50% mischance.

Taury: Ooh!

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Damn!

Taury: And the odds are not in our favor today.

Loyal: Not at all.

Fenwarin: No.

GM: They really aren't.

Loyal: Oh! Does Fen have a healing potion on him?

GM: It would be in a bag, so you wouldn't be able to tell and because he's unconscious and can't answer you.

Taury: Taury has one.

Loyal: Fuck shit, fuck.

Taury: 'Shit, fuck'. [Laughs]

Loyal: Right.§

Taury: That's probably what the goblins were doing, right?

GM: Well, I don't know about the first part, but maybe?

Morana: Euh!

Ishmael: Yegh!

Taury: Listen, it's goblins!

Loyal: I mean I'll attempt a heal check on him see if I can stabilize him.

GM: OK. You stabilize Fen, but that will also provoke from Bruthazmus.

Loyal: Yeah, I figured as much.

GM: You are not a favorite enemy, however.

Loyal: Correct, that misses.

GM: He just, he doesn't have the same drive to kill you like he does Fen. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Hmm... With the rest of my turn can I search Fen's belongings for a potion?

GM: You can.

Loyal: I will do that. Do you have a healing potion on you?

Ishmael: I do have one, yeah.

Loyal: OK, I have that if need be now. Yeah I mean, it's all I can really do. I guess I'll draw a dagger.

GM: OK, Morana.

Morana: Now, did you mean earlier that we all have access to our new toys?

GM: Yes.

Morana: Oh good. Morana first looks at Orik and says, "Thank God somebody here is reasonable. Look, misunderstandings happened, you help us clean these goblins out, there's no bad blood between us." Now, "As for you..." and she looks at Bruthazmus as she reaches into her cloak, and as she pulls her hand out, there's something hanging from her fingertips. Looks kind of like a little puppet made out of bones. 

Markus: Ooh. 

Morana: And she begins dancing her fingers around. And I need Bruthazmus to make a fortitude save DC 16.

Loyal: No.

Ishmael: Yes.

Morana: OK, now if something says, (because it's a level 2 spell), but it says +1D6 per 2 caster levels you have.  Do the 4 levels I had prior to getting the spell count retroactively?

GM: They do, yeah.

Morana: Oh good! Then he's going to take the full brunt of... And before I roll the damage I'll add that everyone surrounding him like next to him can hear this weird cracking and kind of see vibration under his skin, kind of like his bones are actually jittering around inside his flesh.

Loyal: Oh! 

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Loyal: Oh, that seems very unpleasant!

Fenwarin: Oh my god.

Taury: I don't feel one bit bad for him.

Loyal: I don't yeah.

Morana: He takes 17 damage, 

Loyal: Wooo!

Morana: and because he failed the fortitude save, I also get to move him 5 feet, I'm going to move him between Taury and Ishmael. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs]

Morana: I also didn't bother casting- ah well, what was this little goblin here armed with?

GM: A dog slicer.

Morana: Hmm, is that if you take any damage you lose it, or is it just you take the damage?

GM: You'll have to make a concentration check.

Morana: OK, and that is 20+ caster level plus stat.

GM: She misses you anyway, so it doesn't matter.

Loyal: There you go.

Morana: Oh, all right, then.

GM: Bruthazmus is very confused and in pain.

Ishmael: 'Why I hurt now?' [Laughs]

GM: "Evil elf magics!"

Morana: "No dear, that was me."

GM: And now this little goblin is going to try to stab you again Morana... Now, that is a crit chance, because this weapon has a 19 to 20 crit chance. So 19 on the die is still a crit chance. So rolling to confirm... Does not confirm. So have 2 points of damage.

Morana: "Ow! Little bitch."

GM: "Ha ha ha." Ishmael.

Ishmael: Cool well, I'm going to hit him, this hobgoblin with my sword.

Loyal: Ah.

Ishmael: I'm not, I was kidding. I was kidding.  I was fucking with you guys.

Taury: [Laughs] 

Loyal: Gotcha.

Taury: Waves around pretending to stab, doesn't though.

Ishmael: More so, just like this sudden like, 'oh that was a thing, huh?' And then just misses. "Right cool so we've killed your god, we killed your boss." That's all I say.

GM: Orik makes an attack on Bruthazmus and misses.

Morana: Bruthazmus look even more confused? [Laughs]

GM: No, now he just looks angry.

Taury: Great.

GM: The last little goblin here is going to stab at Ishmael.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: And fail.

Ishmael: Yeah, it's going to fail.

GM: And then jump 5 foot back

Loyal: Oh you fool. 

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Like, "Ha ha ha!"

Ishmael: "You have fun with that."

GM: Claiming in some way that she has done well in this endeavor, in her mind at least. Taury, it's now your turn.

Taury: Yeah, another fucking slash coming up Bruthazmus.

Fenwarin: Come on.

GM: That hits.

Fenwarin: Ooh.

Loyal: Yay.

Taury: Wow, damage rolls are so bad today. 

Fenwarin: It's your thing.

Taury: Can it not be though?

Fenwarin: I know, I know right? [Laughs]

Loyal: I need to give you true strike but for damage rolls, apparently.

GM: All right, so you've dealt 8 points of damage to Bruthazmus, he did not seem to enjoy that.

Taury: Yeah, not a fan of being stabbed.

GM: No, no not largely so, he's eyeing Fen, but Fen's unconscious on the ground so he's going to swing at Taury.

Loyal: Oh!

Taury: Ooh ho ho ho, that's upsetting.

Fenwarin: What the hell?

Loyal: Fuck off.

GM: That's a crit, that does confirm.

Loyal: Ah! 21?!

Morana: Good Lord.

GM: 21 points of damage back at you Taury.

Taury: Still up

Loyal: Good.

GM: From him, from his heavy flail. 

Loyal: Jesus!

Fenwarin: Ah man!

Taury: I'm on 5 but still up. 

Loyal: Ah.

GM: Fenwarin you're unconscious but stable, no rolls needed.

Fenwarin: Cool.

Taury: Fucking thanks Orik!

GM: Lyrie, what does Lyrie do? She's quite confused at the moment.

Morana: Quelle surprise.

Taury: Where the fuck is that going?

Loyal: Shatter.

GM: It's a good question, isn't it?

Taury: Oh no.

Loyal: In the middle of everything! [Laughs]

Taury: It's going for Ishmael isn't it?

GM: Yeah, there is a loud, high pitched noise emanating from Bruthazmus's flail.

Loyal: Hmm.

GM: But it does not get shattered.

Taury: Now he's even more angry.

Ishmael: That would have been great.

Taury: That would have been sick.

GM: Loyal.

Loyal: I will feed the potion to Fen, that's a full round action. Have 7 points.

Fenwarin: That puts me at exactly 0.

GM: All right, you can choose to be conscious at this point, but disabled, which means you can only take a move action each round. If you try to do a standard, you instantly take 1 point of damage and begin dying again. Or you can stay unconscious at 0 points and just, you know, remain lying there. It's up to you.

Fenwarin: I'm going to stay unconscious.

Loyal: [Laughs] Yeah I think getting up might make the bugbear angrier.

Fenwarin: Yeah. 

Ishmael: I'm just going to sleep some more. 

GM: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah, it's just I'm tired, this is just annoying. [Laughs]

GM: All right, Morana.

Morana: If I aim a burning hands correctly, can I get both of the goblins without it drifting over to hit Ishmael since it's a 15 foot cone?

GM: Yes.

Morana: OK. So let's see, defensive cast... Oof.

Loyal: Ah, feels bad.

GM: All right, so that fails to cast?

Morana: No, that's not happening then.

GM: OK, just confirming. OK, little goblin is going to try to stab you now.

Loyal: Oh my god.

GM: And that does confirm.

Loyal: Goes down in fucking blaze of glory.

Fenwarin: Oh fuck! 

Morana: You little whore!

GM: 7 points of damage to Morana. [Goblin growls]

Loyal: What is it with us getting crit these last 2 sessions?

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael: I spend a move action, pull out a wand and I cast infernal healing on Orik. That's my round.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Yeah, he's got re-gen +1.

GM: Cool.

Ishmael: And then Ishmael will go "No hard feelings, sorry."

GM: The weird sensation messes up his swing, he's not used to this, but OK.

Ishmael: Hmm.

GM: OK, so he swings and misses at Bruthazmus like really, really badly, nat 1. And our last little goblin here is now going to jump back at Ishmael.

Ishmael: OK... It misses again, just like, "Would you stop? Go away!"

GM: Just stabs it right into your armor and is like "Haa!" then realizes it did nothing and is like "Aaah. [Disappointed goblin sound]"

Ishmael: "Go away. Go away".

Loyal: 'Go away.' [Laughs]

GM: Taury it is now your turn.

Fenwarin: Slice his head off.

Loyal: Fucking kill him! Revenge for that crit, crit him back.

Fenwarin: Yeah exactly.

Taury: Yeah, we'll see how that goes. Fuck it. [Laughs]

Loyal: Only ever confirmed a crit once.

Fenwarin: Crit, hit and crit damage too.

Loyal: Hmm, it's not bad damage.

Fenwarin: That's not bad.

GM: That hits, and drops Bruthazmus.

Loyal: Yeah!

Taury: Thank fuck.

Fenwarin: Nice.

GM: Fenwarin is still unconscious. Lyrie seeing Bruthazmus fall, not really knowing what's going on, will just move forward to here, and then see a goblin, and just stand shocked still. Loyal?

Loyal: I will attempt to throw a bomb right here, just to catch those two in the splash.

GM: All right.

Fenwarin: I like it.

Loyal: Uh, other creatures... Boosh!

GM: OK, top one first on the reflex save...

Loyal: Nope... and no.

GM: Both of them fail.

Loyal: Taking 8 points.

GM: Both of them burn alive to death in acid. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Fuck you, stupid goblins.

Morana: Excellent.

GM: You are now out of combat. 

Loyal: Ooh!

Morana: Morana looks irritably at her now ripped robe.

Ishmael: Ah, Ishmael will hit Orik with another charge of it.

Morana: Morana will actually walk over and cast cure light on him.

GM: "Thank you. Now, seeing as my employer is dead-"

Ishmael: Yes, Ishmael will gesture to the severed head at his waist.

GM: "I am going to take a Lyrie and leave."

Ishmael: "Right. So, Lyrie, where is our other companion at?"

Loyal: "Where the fuck's Markus?"

GM: "I, I, I burned him and I ran, and I don't know where he went."

Ishmael: "Like, ah-"

GM: "He was behind me. I left him in my room." 

Morana: "[Sighs] We'll find him."

Ishmael: Like, when she says that she burned him, like, Ishmael will just, like, chop her on the head, just, "Bad! Don't do that, it's rude! Just-" 

Morana: "Now, as we were trying to explain to your friend, I believe the name was Orik, we had nothing to do with Tsuto's death. We actually were trying to figure out what killed him as well, because he was found dead in his cell in Sandpoint, after he attacked the glassworks and murdered his father."

GM: [As Orik] "Yeah, when he didn't return, we figured he'd either been killed or captured." 

Loyal: "I guess, in this case, it was both."

GM: He shrugs.

Loyal: I kick Bruthazmus's body, to make sure he's dead. [Laughs] Heal check... 

GM: He is dying, bleeding out, dead. Yes.

Loyal: Does he have anything interesting on him, the bugbear?

GM: He has four +1 Elf Bane arrows.

Loyal: Cool.

Fenwarin: Of course he does!

Loyal: OK.

GM: He has a potion of cure moderate wounds.

Loyal: OK!

Fenwarin: Hey!

Loyal: I'm going to keep that moderate wounds potion.

GM: He is wearing studded leather, he has a heavy flail, which Fenwarin was very familiar with.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: As were the goblin wives!

GM: Ah- Hmm, yes. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: A masterwork composite longbow with 20 normal arrows and 4 platinum.

Taury: What's the max arrows you can carry? Or is there any?

GM: A quiver is 20.

Taury: But like if you had 2 quivers?

Loyal: And you said 4 platinum? 

GM: Yeah. 

Loyal: Cool. Looting his body... That potion is nice! There you go. As far as what that is, I've just, kind of like, grabbed up everything, I keep the potion on myself, I'll just grab the platinum. And, I'm not touching the flail, I'm not going to use that. Seeing as the only one who uses bows is Taury, I'll hand the elf bane arrows to her.

Taury: Yeah, she'll take those.

GM: Right, perception check? 

Loyal: Me? 

GM: Whoever's looking at the elf bane arrows?

Loyal: Sure, yeah. I'll have a look at them.

Taury: That would be both of us.

Loyal: Boosh! Yeah.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: Yeah, both of you notice engraved on the arrows, the elf bane arrows, is the name 'Shalelu'.

Loyal: Oh!

Taury: [Laughs] So he's not a fan of her!

Loyal: "You already have a masterwork composite longbow, yeah, Taury?" 

Taury: "Hmm-mm." 

Loyal: I'll take the bow and be like, "Do, do you want this? I know you have one already, I'm not sure if this one's better or not?"

Taury: She shakes her head, walks over to the door where all the horrible, nasty naked goblins came from, looks mildly disgusted and closes the door.

Loyal: "I guess I'll just keep the bow on me to sell then."

GM: [As Orik] "Yeah, so, ah, I'm going to leave with, with Lyrie. That fine? Your other friend already ran off." 

Loyal: "Fine by me." I look at the rest of the group. 

Taury: Taury shrugs.

Fenwarin: "Yeah, go ahead."

GM: He gestures for Lyrie to follow him and heads up the stairs behind you.

Loyal: "[Sighs] So, find Markus, yeah?"

Fenwarin: "Might as well go back to him."

Ishmael: If you've noticed, ah, like, Ishmael's already, like, is not with you guys. He's already left to go do that.

GM: Ishmael, you find Markus somewhere in the lower level. Markus, where did you head off to?

Markus : Headed basically to the other side of the secret door, so past the trap and all the way back to where we arrived, more or less. 

Ishmael: [Laughs] All right.

GM: The room with the giant crab? 

Markus : Yeah. 

GM: OK.

Ishmael: Yeah, I guess I make my way over there and just like, "Wow, you really took off. The situation has been handled."

Markus : "She was calling for help. I didn't know where you were, seemed sensible."

Ishmael: "And that's clearly understandable. We thought you were behind us honestly, didn't know you stayed behind."

Markus : "If my life had led me a different path, she might have been me."

Ishmael: "Fair."

Markus : "Apparently, I managed to upset her again."

Ishmael: "I mean, this line of business, you end up managing to upset a lot of people, so you'll get used to it."

Markus : "Hmm." 

Ishmael: Like Ishmael, will like awkwardly, like pat him on the shoulder, just quick, like, you know slightly. "Yeah. So everybody else is upstairs, I figured we'll leave out the front door. Did we want to grab the giant-? I don't even think we could fit it out this way."

Markus : "Wait, we're leaving?"

Ishmael: "I mean, we've handled the boss," he'll hold up the woman's head, "we've killed Barghest, we've dealt with the researcher and in the mercenary, the only things left is the goblins and I figure we just get rid of the bridge and let them, you know, stay here."

Markus : "OK, first of all, we haven't finished exploring this place."

Ishmael: "Yes."

Markus : "Unless you've been very, very quick, or there is really not very much to find. And secondly, you really want to go out the front door where there is a goblin druid and army waiting?"

Ishmael: "Well, I found the front door. I don't think Taury saw anybody out front door, so."

Loyal: I just want to be out of this place.

Markus : "Druid hiding in the undergrowth, you remember Shalelu talking about this? Yes?"

Ishmael: "Well, then what do you suggest? We go out the way we came in?"

Markus : "I'm not saying we don't go out the front door, we just don't just go blindly out there. And we give the goblins time to realize, particularly if you say other things are being dealt with, and maybe they'll be dispersed if we keep exploring the rooms for long enough."

Ishmael: "Well, first off, I don't know how many goblins are supposed to be here, but like I'd rather not fight off hordes of them, exploring this place."

Markus : "Fair. Well, let's go find the others and we can talk about this properly."

Ishmael: Then I guess we head back, dive through the trap, and make our way back upstairs.

GM: You'll run into the rest of the group coming towards you at some point, most likely on the other side of the trap, but whether or not they're already down there or are on the stairs coming down, it's up to you guys.

Taury: Yeah, Taury wouldn't have walked down, she would have just stayed in the room waiting for them.

Morana: Yeah, no, I'm not going anywhere near that trap again, fuck that.

Fenwarin: Fen can barely move so, staying here.

Taury: Is Fen like so struggling to barely move that he could do with being carried? Is that where we're at with Fen?

Loyal: He's considered 'disabled', so he's like half speed, can't standard action-

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: No but genuinely is he like-?

Fenwarin: Yes, yes.

Loyal: Yeah, probably

Fenwarin: Like really bad.

Loyal: He's quite injured. 

Taury: OK cool, noted.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: Not going to help you with it, just noted. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: Yeah, well, we're not going anywhere yet.

GM: [Laughs]

Morana: That's a cure light on Fen.

Loyal: There you go.

Fenwarin: "Ah thanks."

Loyal: Can walk now.

Markus : I'm guessing Ishmael is basically going to lead me back to where the group was?

Ishmael: Yeah, and then we'll meet up like, wherever we meet up. Yeah, I figured. "Found Markus, he was back with our crab friend."

Taury: "Excellent. Now let's go."

Markus : "OK, why are we leaving?"

Taury: Taury's just looking around at everybody who's like blood stained and bruised, and like probably sweating, and then just looks at him like dumbfounded.

Loyal: Loyal is doing the same thing. [Laughs]

Morana: You know, and Fen who's like, looks like death warmed over. 

Taury: Uh huh!

Fenwarin: Yeah. [Laughs] 

Ishmael: Like Ishmael, will see Fen all messed up and just pick Fen up and carry him, throw him over his shoulder, fireman's carry.

Fenwarin: "Ooh! The service!"

GM: Give me a perception check Fen.

Fenwarin: Oh, OK. That's not ominous.

Taury: [Laughs] Sense motive.

Fenwarin: Yeah. [Laughs] All right.

Taury: Nice.

Fenwarin: 22.

Taury: What do your elf eyes see?

Fenwarin: Nothing. [Laughs] 

Ishmael: [Laughs] What do your elf eyes hear? What? That doesn't make any sense. Don't worry about it. Ishmael's also a bugbear who hates elves, just.

Taury: [Laughs] As he's carrying him he's just squeezing his wounds.

Ishmael: Just suddenly, trips and just body slams him.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Oh no, I'm so sorry friend.

Taury: Drops him down the stairs.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Oh, sorry Fen I didn't mean to pile drive you. 

Ishmael: Picks back up, let's try not to do that again right? [Laughs] 

Ishmael will go like, "We all seem to be in a rough shape. It's been a long two days."

Markus: "And you want to walk out the front door that's guarded by a goblin druid and a bunch of other goblins?"

Taury: "It's not guarded there's no one there. You would know that if you were with us and not hanging around with the locals." and she looks down to like the mass graves of all the dead goblins in the room.

Markus: "Have the goblins at least been told that their leader and god are dead?"

Taury: "Yes, we had quite the lengthy conversation with them while we were stabbing them."

Markus: "Right, so the army outside has no reason currently to believe anything is wrong?"

Taury: "We didn't see an army."

Morana: "Well, in that case, why don't we just go upstairs and just lob the head of Nualia out the window into the middle of the field?"

Taury: "Precisely."

Morana: "That should, you know, let them know that something has changed?"

Taury: And Taury begins walking up the stairs.

Ishmael: Ishmael follows with like Fen over his shoulders.

Taury: She's probably helping you carry Fen as well, like either side of his shoulder or something.

Ishmael: No I got him.

Taury: This was the right way, right?

Ishmael: Yes.

Taury: She doesn't say that, that's me saying that.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Fumbles through the wrong door, ah shit!

Taury: A fuck! More goblin orgies.

Morana: Some of that old nugget balling.

Taury: Sorry, nugget what?

Loyal: And what now?

Morana: Nugget balling.

Taury: I don't like that.

GM: And we'll add Markus to this group up here now.

Taury: Unless he decides not to follow us up. [Chuckles] So Taury will walk over to the door again and just double check it, same as what you did before.

Ishmael: Fen jumps off of Ishmael then?

Fenwarin: Yeah. "Thanks, I'll-" 

Ishmael: "OK. You sure?" 

Fenwarin: "-I'll take it from here. Yeah, I feel a little bit better yeah.

Ishmael: "OK." So this is the front door, is it not?

Taury: I don't know which one it was, Taury knows which one it was.

Ishmael: It was this one. Please do not open up the wrong door. I think.

Taury: No, I said the same door as before. So she's checking out through it first. Do I got a perception check that or? 

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: Cool.

Ishmael: Can I make a perception check too?

GM: The rain seems to have let up a bit, it's not raining as hard.

Ishmael: That's good. I guess I step outside for my inevitable death.

Taury: The perception check just told us about the weather. Is that what happened? [Chuckles] Taury will step out too.

GM: OK.

Taury: And if she sees no one outside, then she would open the door and gesture for the other guys to follow.

GM: You don't see anyone. 

Loyal: Yet.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: No one seems to be around at all.

Taury: How quiet is it?

Loyal: Too quiet.

Ishmael: That eerily quiet,

Taury: Yeah.

Ishmael: Like can I roll a sense motive like?

Taury: Mm hmm.

Ishmael: Like can I roll that paranoid stat or roll?

Taury: Yeah.

GM: Nature.

Ishmael: Nature. OK

Taury: Oh god.

Ishmael: I can do a nature.

Loyal: I'm actually good at this.

Taury: Would a survival count?

GM: Sure.

Taury: Cool... Oh great, never mind. With that fucking crit fail.

Loyal: Nat 1.

Fenwarin: Ow. [Laughs] Nice.

Loyal: Good thing, I'm good at nature.

Morana: Mine was also a nature.

Fenwarin: I'll try as well.

GM: 10 or more on nature is all you needed, and it just seems like normal, like during a rainstorm, you know how most creatures and things go find shelter. No birds are really flying during rain.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Yeah. Stuff like that. So, yeah, it's quiet. But you expect it to be, considering it's raining.

Ishmael: OK. I guess Ishmael takes a step onto the bridge.

Taury: Yeah. Taury's doing the same thing.

GM: All right. A rope bridge spans the gulf between the cliff and the roundish flat topped island, 60 some feet to the north. Thick patches of nettles and briers grow here and there atop the island. But its most impressive feature is a wooden one storey stockade. Two 30 foot tall watchtowers guard the stockade southern facade. The rope bridge itself is made of hairy rope and thick wooden planks. The whole thing creaks and sways in the wind above the churning surf 80 feet below. You are 80 feet above the churning waves. 

Taury: Taury'd walk straight across the bridge.

Ishmael: Yeah, same with Ishmael.

GM: OK, so Ishmael, Taury... Morana, you're the third one on?

Morana: Yup.

Taury: I don't like that you're counting the order.

GM: Yeah, as the third person steps aboard. Morana, the bridge gives way.

Taury: Yup.

Ishmael: Oh shit.

GM: The ropes fray and the whole bridge drops. 

Fenwarin: Oh.

GM: All three of you, I need reflex saves.

Loyal: Ha ha! Cool.

Taury: Sweet!

GM: As you now fall 80 feet into the water below.

Taury: Oh boy

Fenwarin: Holy shit.

Loyal: Welp!

Ishmael: Oh shit.

Taury: Reflex.

Ishmael: Oh shit, oh fuck.

Taury: What do we have to get the past reflex?

Loyal: We'll find out... Not that! [Laughs] Not a 7! Not a 6!

Taury: Ooh! More that that even?

Loyal: That's good.

Fenwarin: Oh my God.

Loyal: 20 is good.

GM: Ishmael, you were the only one to save.

Loyal: The one person who can swim.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: You will take half the damage.

Ishmael: Ouch. OK.

Loyal: Oh my God! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Holy shit! 

Fenwarin: Whoa! 

Ishmael: All right ouch!

Taury: Fuck!

GM: It is a D6 per 10 feet fall.

Ishmael: Yeah. Oh my god.

Loyal: People are unconscious now yeah?

Fenwarin: I guess so.

Morana: I'm unconscious.

Loyal: So is Taury, yeah.

Fenwarin: Oh my God. 

Ishmael: Ah fuck it, yeah.

GM: Ishmael, you hit the waves with Morana and Taury,

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: neither of them seem to be moving after they hit the water.

Loyal: Fucking shit.

Ishmael: I try-

GM: Go ahead and give me a high or low for each of you. Morana, high or low?

Morana: High.

GM: High it is. You are face up floating in the water. Taury, high or low?

Taury: Uuuh, high.

Loyal: Whoah!

GM: It is also high.

Fenwarin: Wooh!

Taury: Just a fucking boat.

GM: The weight of your armor and everything is just starting to pull you under as Ishmael swims over and grabs you.

Ishmael: Yeah, I roll low.

GM: You don't need to.

Ishmael: OK cool.

GM: You'll need swim checks.

Ishmael: Fuck! All right. I can do that. I can do that, I hope.

Taury: No pressure.

Loyal: So they're like bleeding out yeah?

Taury: Water, our fucking greatest enemy, I swear to God. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Ishmael: 10.

GM: 10 is enough because you are in between these two things, the tides and currents that you dealt with earlier is not affected in this region.

Ishmael: That's good, I start dragging them to shore.

GM: OK. Everyone at the top, which is Loyal, Markus and Fenwarin, you notice that the bridge is now completely collapsed.

Loyal: Oh, yeah.

GM: Your three friends, Ishmael has pulled them. Which shore do you pull them to Ishmael?

Ishmael: I guess the closest one, which would be like here.

GM: OK, Ishmael pulls them to the bank just underneath the bridge on the opposite side. What will you three do now?

Loyal: The non swimmers. [Laughs] 

Fenwarin: Oh man.

Markus: That's a problem.

Loyal: Yeah.

GM: Said so matter of factly. 

Taury: Like so casually, we're both fucking unconscious!

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: If Ishmael had struggled there, I would have absolutely jumped.

Taury: I fucking swear to God, if you all don't drown Markus I'll be upset. [Laughs] 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: Just waterboard him or something.

Ishmael: Just hang him over the ledge by his ankles.

Taury: Yeah, just drip him by his ankles.

Ishmael: Oh fuck. When I get them to the shore, I will they will hit them with my wand of infernal healing.

Fenwarin: How probable is it that we can climb down?

Loyal: Not likely.

GM: You can climb down the planks of the bridge about 30 feet, and then jump into the water, so you're only dropping fiftyish feet into the water then? It's much more controlled as well.

Taury: Only 50 feet. Don't worry about it. You too can drown.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Do you guys have a rope?

Loyal: Yeah we have rope

Ishmael: Yeah

Loyal: I got rope.

Ishmael: You can tie off at the bottom of the bridge.

Loyal: That's what I'm thinking yeah.

Ishmael: And then, you know, use the rope to get down to the water.

Loyal: I also have, and I kind of look at the other two and say, "Give me two minutes." And then he starts whipping out alchemical stuff and making things. And I will make two bull's strength extracts, buffer strength a little bit.

Fenwarin: "So maybe we could climb down the planks of the bridge and and tie a rope to climb down the rest of the way?"

Loyal: "That's what I'm thinking yes."

GM: That's a possibility. Who's going to be the one doing this daring feat of bravery?

Taury: Probably Fen.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] I'm pretty hurt! So no! [Laughs]

Taury: Literally the bravest of all three of them is Fen.

Fenwarin: Oh yes. [Laughs]

Loyal: I can do it. I'll look back, "I'll go first." And then he'll hand off one of the infusions, the bull strength infusions to you two, up to you who chooses to take that.

GM: After a minute or so, you're at least stabilized, I don't know if it was enough healing, 10 points, to make you conscious or not.

Taury: OK. 

Loyal: Probably not. We'll see.

GM: Morana might be.

Morana: Yeah, she would be.

Ishmael: Right. Should have said something along the lines of one at a time across the bridge.

Loyal: Yeah. But we didn't.

Taury: Oh, I'm still on -8.

Fenwarin: Ouch.

Loyal: And seeing as the extracts are done now.

GM: OK. Morana, you wake up to see, it looks like Loyal is going to be the one stepping up to try to climb down this broken bridge and then tie off.

Ishmael: Ishmael seeing what they're doing, just starts swimming out, prepared to start dragging more unconscious people over.

Taury: Oh.

Loyal: Seeing him do that, "Thank you."

Morana: Morana Just looks up, "Oh have fun."

Loyal: I will drink the bull's strength extract, giving me a temporary +4 to strength.

Markus: Question: basically, out of character I can see a thing on the map, I want to know whether or not in character I can see it, because that's going to affect what I do.

Fenwarin: Oh, I see what you mean now.

GM: That would be a perception check now that you mention it.

Loyal: I don't see it [Laughs] 'cause I'm at a different angle.

GM: Yes. You do see this thing, it looks like a large cat maybe curled up in sleep.

Markus: Yeah, OK.

Loyal: I don't like that. Guard cat?

Markus: Markus will immediately make shushing gestures to everyone, and will make a point of trying to make visual contact with anyone that's conscious on the other side of the river, and again, finger to the lips "Shush". And he will then just point in the distance.

Ishmael: Where? Where at? Distance? What?

GM: He's pointing at something above you.

Markus: Yeah, he's pointing this direction, but from the beach.

Ishmael: Ishmael will just like look.

Morana: Morana is too busy staring at the sky and contemplating her life.

Taury: Taury remains unconscious.

Loyal: Meanwhile, Loyal's climbing down. He will tie himself off rope wise though, to something up here.

Markus: Markus is going to very quietly say to Fenwarin and Loyal who are nearby, "I think that might be the druid's animal companion."

Loyal: "Good to know." And he's tied himself off to essentially one of these little like Bridge things that the bridge was tied to.

Fenwarin: "Right there where you were pointing?"

GM: Both of you can give me perception checks now... All right, Fenwarin, you can't see this thing they're trying to point out to you through the rain

Fenwarin: Uh huh.

GM: But Loyal you do make out the form that Markus is talking about. You, because of your vantage point of being on the bridge down the side of the cliff a little bit, notice that there is a cave right here.

Loyal: Oh. Neat.

GM: Near the water.

Loyal: Got ya. And the animal companion, it's over like on Taury, Ishmael's side yeah? 'Cause for whatever reason, I can't see it.

GM: Well, it's up on the top.

Loyal: OK, like right above little cave?

GM: They are at the shoreline, they would have to climb up 60 feet, no sorry, 80 feet of cliff to get up there.

Loyal: I see it now, it was in a completely different direction than I thought. And I'll point out the cave, like "I think there's a cave over there."

Markus: "That might be a good option, hide out of the way and rest and let people recover."

Loyal: "Not a bad idea." 

Fenwarin: "Yeah."

Markus: "OK, so how do we get to this cave?"

Loyal: "Well it's right there next to the shore. They could move their way over to there. We would just need to get over there."

Markus: "OK."

Loyal: "So I guess our action doesn't really change. We still have to get across yeah?"

Markus: "Seems likely yeah."

Loyal: "All right, I'm gonna try something then." And he's going to tie himself off to a little like rope bridge pegs there, to essentially rappel down the side. And before before he goes down, he will drink one of his bull's strength extracts to buff his strength a bit, and he'll leave the other one with Markus and Fenwarin for whoever needs it.

Fenwarin: I guess it depends on our strength scores.

Markus: Can you succeed on a DC 10 climb check followed by a DC 10 swim check without the buff? 

Fenwarin: Hmm.

Loyal: What's your strength score?

Fenwarin: My strength score is 14.

Markus: Yes.

GM: Then Yes.

Loyal: Oh, yeah you'll be fine.

Markus: OK, then I need it. OK.

Fenwarin: OK.

Loyal: "Before you go down, drink this, it'll make you temporarily stronger." And he will rapel down.

Ishmael: Ishmael's gone back out to help whoever comes into the water across.

Loyal: Thank you.

Ishmael: Would you like another swim check Furtive? 

GM: Yes.

Ishmael: Or can I just take a 10? No?

GM: Oh yeah, you can take a 10.

Ishmael: That's 12.

Morana: Morana still laying there, staring at the sky, wondering where it all went wrong.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: As far as climbing down, I assume I could probably take 10 because with the extract it makes it a 12.

GM: OK, so you've swum across as well, climbed all the way down and swam over,

Loyal: Yep.

GM: Yep.

Loyal: Mm hmm.

GM: All right, that's one down. All right. Here's a little fun fact for you, which I had forgotten in the moment.

Fenwarin: Ooh.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: The fall does non-lethal bludgeoning damage.

Ishmael: Oof. OK.

Markus: Oh, because it's onto water.

GM: Exactly.

Markus: Uh huh.

GM: So the healing that both Taury and Morana received, he'll double that.

Taury: So Taury is not unconscious? 

GM: Correct. 

Taury: Fuck yeah dude! Now I have to do more math. God damn it.

GM: Just just add another 10.

Taury: It's just +10, right? Yes, so she's on 2 HP.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Ishmael as you are swimming over ready to help Markus and Fenwarin, and as you're both prepping and climbing down, we don't need to go through all that. You're going to make it and take 10's and get over here no problem. While all that's going on, Taury and Morana, you're both on the beach catching your breath. Loyal joins you. And then suddenly from Loyal's wrappings around his abdomen, black barbed tentacles sprout out and begin stitching your wounds together.

Ishmael: Uuuuh?

Fenwarin: The fuck?

Morana: Morana just kind of slowly turns to look at Loyal.

Taury: Yeah, same thing from Taury.

Loyal: He's looking at this like, what the fuck?

Morana: Blink, blink, blink.

Loyal: He's frozen right now.

Morana: Is there a check I can make to try to figure out what's going on? 

Taury: Yeah, I was going to say.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: Is there like some check?

GM: Nature.

Taury: Oh no.

Morana: Nature huh? This is natural!

Taury: I don't- I don't-

Ishmael: [Laughs] Hmmmm...Uh... Hmm... Bullshit, can I roll a bullshit check?

Morana: I have several questions!

Taury: I'm not trained, but I'm going just roll it anyway.

Ishmael: Can I roll one too? Because am I able to see this?

GM: No.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: You are preoccupied and looking a different direction.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Both of you recognize what appears to be a plant known as a Suture Vine.

Taury: Um, in- inside him?

GM: Yeah, that- that's the weird part.

Taury: Oh, that's the weird part, OK, because I was wondering when the weird part was going to kick in.

GM: Yeah, normally they're green and leafy, this almost looks like black oiled barbed wire.

Ishmael: Is this being marked as a 'later problem' or is this marked as a 'now problem'?

All: [Laugh]

Morana: You you see Morana repeatedly look like she's about to say something and just close her mouth again, "I, uh [Stammers and Mumbles]... Hmm."

Taury: Yeah Taury wants to say something, but there's just nothing sensible coming to her mind.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Aside from "The fuck is that?! The fuck is this?!"

Taury: It's in her brain

Ishmael: Just?

Taury: Hitting off the side of her brain, 'What the fuck?! What the fuck?! What the fuck?!' But it's not being verbalized.

Morana: Morana leans in for a closer look with an eyebrow raised. "Does this happen often?"

Loyal: He is staring at it, looks terrified and says nothing.

Morana: "I'm.. I'm going to go with no then... I... Hmm."

Taury: "How?" She's looking at you, like, not quite scared, but like really skeptical.

Loyal: He will grab a bag from his various assortment of things, can he like grab it off of him and put it in the bag?

Taury: If you go to reach for that, there would be like a slight, like flinch from Taury, like 'What the fuck is he going to pull out?' [Laughs]

Loyal: And he's moving very slowly as to like, I don't know, not startle it or something.

Morana: I'm trying to think of things Morana would say, and I'm coming up empty. 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: I'm so glad! [Laughs]

Taury: I'm imagining both of them just their mouths are just open, this is sheer shock.

Morana: Congratulations, for the first time this campaign, someone has done something to render Morana speechless

Loyal: [Laughs]

Loyal: Technically he didn't do anything.

Morana: Hmm.

Loyal: What's it doing at this point? Is it just kind of chilling?

Taury: 'What's it doing at this point? Is it just kind of chilling?' [Quoting Loyal] 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Oh no!

Ishmael: Last description, it was stitching Morana and Taury up.

Taury: It was stitching! Yeah, did it have a little fucking heat, like a little med kit that it pulled out of your chest?

GM: It's forcibly using its thorns, its barbs, to pin closed your open wounds.

Morana: "Oh, I thought this was...this was... [Mumbles and Stammers] What the?!"

Loyal: That probably fucking hurts, but he's so stunned right now and like adrenalin that he probably doesn't feel it.

Taury: I was just going to say, is that painful?

GM: It doesn't really hurt, it's as if these nettles have an anesthetic on them, it should hurt, but it's just numb where this is happening, and you notice that this thing is drinking your blood.

Morana: "I... Mmm."

Taury: It's Loyal's blood it's drinking right? Or is it ours?

GM: Yours.

Taury: Fucking...

GM: And his.

Taury: Great!

GM: Everyone's.

Loyal: Oh! [Laughs]

Morana: Not sure if comfortable!

Loyal: OK.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: Essentially, all of those that are near it, which is all three of you that are below half health, it is doing this to.

Taury: It's drinking our blood, right? I mean, Taury is going to attempt to poke it.

Loyal: [Laughs] I like that.

Morana: Morana looks very much like if it wouldn't put her back in the water, she would be taking a slow step backward.

Loyal: Loyal is just kind of muttering, "OK I'm just going to-", and he goes up to like try pick it up and put it in a bag.

Taury: Oh.

Ishmael: Is it not spewed from your chest?

Morana: Yeah, I thought Furtive said it was like coming out from under his bandages.

Taury: Yeah.

Loyal: Abdomen, under the bandages that he has.

Taury: It came out from inside your fucking rib cage, you basket case! 'I put it back in the bag', he says. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: It is not detached from Loyal, it is like vines that have grown out of him.

Taury: Yeah, it's fucking alien!

GM: Only they're like strips of barbed wire or yeah.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: It's Alien, that's what it is.

GM: It's more like The Thing.

Loyal: [Laughs] That's so much worse!

Fenwarin: Wow!

Morana: That's a better yeah, that... hmmm.

Ishmael: It's fine.

GM: All three of you can regain 2 hit points.

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: And and some PTSD.

Loyal: Yeah. [Laughs] 

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: I don't like this.

GM: At which point it will begin going back inside Loyal's abdomen, as the other three are swimming to shore.

Loyal: He's so stunned right now! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: And terrified.

Taury: I'm going to roll a D100 to see if Taury gets sick this time as well.

Loyal: [Laughs] I'm gonna roll one for Loyal actually, that's a good point.

GM: Oh, yeah, because Loyal can feel every sensation of this things movement.

Loyal: Oh no! [Laughs]

Taury: Like this is a lot! 

Fenwarin: Oh my god.

Loyal: Oh yeah. Loyal just fucking pukes!

Morana: Morana is still just staring like, "what the actual fuck?"

Ishmael: "Right. Do I need to know what happened-? You know what, Later problems."

Taury: "Absolutely not, let's not talk about this."

Morana: Morana looks at Ishmael, "It's just, so have you ever seen vines grow out of a person?" 

Ishmael: "Yes." 

All: [Laugh] 

Morana: "And sew up wounds and drink blood?"

Ishmael: Intelligence check, wisdom check or do I need to roll a nature?

GM: This would be a nature.

Fenwarin: "What are you talking about?"

Ishmael: Have I?

GM: Ishmael, you have heard of a plant known as the Suture Vine that this sounds kind of like, it's a parasitic plant.

Ishmael: Origin? Like here or other planes?

GM: No, it's here.

Ishmael: Like, OK, so Suture Plant?

GM: Yeah, it's a plant, Suture Vine.

Ishmael: "Yeah Suture Vine, what about it?"

Taury: "Yeah, it's right here, just in Loyal's chest. Don't worry about it."

Ishmael: "Right, cool."

GM: Yeah, it's a thorny, symbiotic parasite organism that snags, rides on wounded animals and seeks out open wounds and knits them closed, all while absorbing fairly harmless amounts of blood.

Taury: I hate-love it.

GM: Local animals often recognize suture vines and avoid them as food, but seek them out when they're wounded. And the suture vine that goes without feeding for a week or more, sometimes resorts to ambushing prey on its own.

Ishmael: Cool. Gotcha.

Taury: So it's friendly monster.

Loyal: Yeah, clearly.

Ishmael: I mean, it's not a monster, it's just a plant that-

GM: Yeah, it is a plant, yes.

Ishmael: "Like I don't- what? Right. Why are you guys freaking out about? Like, it's good. Let it heal you."

Loyal: Loyal will give him a look of like "What the fuck?!" 

Ishmael: "Like it only heals its..." Ishmael will explain everything that he knows about it. "Like I don't know why you guys are freaking-?"

Morana: OK, yes yes yes, I realize..."

Taury: "But it Came from his chest!" And she's pointing at like Loyal's bandages.

Morana: "No, see, here's the thing. It is symbiotic, but when did it attach to him if this is just happening now?"

Loyal: "And why doesn't it have leaves?"

Ishmael: "Umm so...?"

Morana: "Also, yes, it looked black and yeah, it did not look plant like!"

Ishmael: Ishmael will go "Well?" Like did Taury just go "Chest! Came from chest!"?

Taury: She's pointing at his fucking chest and she's horror struck!

Ishmael: Ishmael will like approach Loyal and start to reach for his chest, I guess the bandages. Like is he stopped?

Loyal: No.

GM: Below the bandages you can see a twitching, slithering coil.

Taury: Oh! [Chuckles]

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah, like Ishmael is going to move the bandages if he is not stopped.

GM: All right, do you stop him, Loyal? 

Loyal: Nope.

Ishmael: OK, I remove the bandages what do I see?

GM: You pull the bandages away and you see right below the left side of the ribcage on the abdomen, is what you're expecting to see is bright green vines. Instead, you see black oil coated type lengths of twisted vine that are covered with hooked thorns and tiny barbs. There's no leaves whatsoever.

Ishmael: Another nature, then, I take it?

GM: No.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: This is some other shit son! [Laughs]

GM: This would be planes.

Ishmael: OK. 

Fenwarin: Woah.

Ishmael: 16 Oh. Or wait, can I take a 10? This isn't threatened, right? Like if I'm allowed to take a 10, then 19.

GM: 19 you say?

Ishmael: Yes, probably not enough.

Morana: Yeah, I also rolled a 19. 

Loyal: Ooh! 

Fenwarin: Oof.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Morana: Fenwarin did not roll a 19. [Chuckles]

Fenwarin: U huh. No. [Laughs]

Morana: Taury actually did better than Fenwarin. 

Fenwarin: Yeah, what is it with you and 9's though?

Taury: I don't know. I don't know.

GM: OK. Ishmael, Markus and Morana... Is Loyal rolling for this as well? Yes?

Loyal: I mean he can try.

GM: Don't want to exclude you from your own info's.

Ishmael: 19 he rolled a 19. So I guess 'and Loyal'.

GM: Yeah, OK. And Loyal, you all recognize that this visage is Hellish. as in from the plane of Hell.

Ishmael: "Right, right... Umm."

Morana: "Hmmm..."

Ishmael: "OK."

Morana: Morana, again, repeatedly looks like she's about to say something, and stops.

Ishmael: Ishmael would just kind of tilt his head like kind of amused and interested, and just kind of like from my 22 like, do I know how long, like, you know, suture vines or whatever, like stay with host? Forever or until it's-?

GM: It depends. Also, you know that normally suture vines sit 'on top of' and ride along.

Ishmael: Yeah, this is actually in-

GM: Yeah this is as if it's embedded in, it is not just 'on top of' it is inside Loyal.

Taury: Yeah we cannot stress this enough, it is in his fucking chest! What part of that is being missed here?! [Laughs]

Loyal: In his abdomen, his ribcage, it's on his lower left like right below the ribcage, kind of like that kind of area.

Ishmael: Ishmael will kind of reach in to press around where it's just embedded, or you know coming from his chest, "Huh, right. So..."

GM: As you press around trying feel the vines and the thorns and stuff inside, underneath the flesh...

Ishmael: Yeah?

GM: You don't.

Ishmael: OK... Do I see a wound or is it just there?

GM: You do not see a wound. 

Ishmael: I... right.

GM: Not where it is anyway, like Loyal has wounds, but-

Ishmael: Yeah, but like not where it should be in. Yeah.

GM: Right.

Ishmael: Like Ishmael will press in where like it should be. Does his finger go through or is it just like, you know, nothing?

GM: No, Loyal you feel Ishmael poking you really hard.

Loyal: Hmm.

Ishmael: Right. So essentially, there is a there is just a- how best can I say this? Like what an opening to hell that is just got these vines shooting out of it? But it is in his chest. Like, that's the best way, like, that's what is going through my mind right now because they're not actually underneath of his skin. This is there but it's. Yeah, right... Is there a knowledge check I can make as to why this... This is planes right? Planes as to why the hell why this would be a thing? Maybe? 

GM: Yeah,

Ishmael: Yeah. 24. What the hell? What?

Loyal: [Laughs] 25.

Morana: I'm going to join that with the 25.

Loyal: I'm not gonna make a roll for Loyal, he's just dumbfounded right now.

Ishmael: I bet. 

Fenwarin: The same here.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Ishmael, and Fenwarin both recognize what this is. Oh, sorry, Morana does as well, the three of you identify this being a representation of Loyal's fiendish heritage.

Fenwarin: Ooh.

Ishmael: Fair.

GM: You know that he is descended from a barbed devil.

Fenwarin: Woah. 

Morana: Huh.

Ishmael: Ishmael will kinda go, "Oh OK. Interesting. Ha! Once more. Never a dull moment. Cool. Well, I think we should get off of this beach and get back to Sandpoint." Ishmael will kind of pull the bandages back over the weird, you know, hellish roots and go, "So shall we?"

Morana: "Yeah, I...that.. [Stammers] Yeah."

Loyal: "Mm...Hmm."

Taury: "Sure."

Ishmael: "OK." 

All: ... [Laugh]

GM: Sorry, I can't help it! The tension in the group right now is just so fucking- [Laughing]

Loyal: Oh god!

Ishmael: Where's my knife? I could cut it.

Loyal: I'm so glad I did this! I'm so glad!

GM: [Laughing] I couldn't hold it in any longer! I apologize.

Ishmael: No it's all good. Ishmael will go "Huh. Well. I mean, I got nothing. I mean, it's not doing any harm."

Loyal: "I, I don't know."

Ishmael: Right, Ishmael will go "Like you're descended from, you know, the devil? There you go." 

Loyal: "Yeah."

Ishmael: "Yeah, I get it. That's-"

Markus: "Did you know that thing was inside you?" 

Loyal: "No."

Markus: "OK."

Taury: "Markus, you better start writing this down."

Morana: Sorry, out of character, did you say stop or start?

All: Start.[Laugh]

Loyal: That'd be an even better response honestly! That'd be pretty funny!

Taury: Yeah we drown him and no one ever knows.

Morana: So, so tempted to sense motive on that, no.

Loyal: Do you want to?

Ishmael: I mean, I mean, I guess why not? 18. Like, I don't think he's lying, but like, you know.

Taury: Sure, why not?

Ishmael: Got got to keep this-

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: We got to keep it going.

Fenwarin: Jesus.

Ishmael: Paranoia and tension going yeah.

Loyal: All right. So is it like a sip every time someone sense motives on the party? So that's four. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah. [Chuckles]

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: Loyal is genuinely as surprised as the rest of you.

Ishmael: Oh, fine. "Well, I mean, it seems like it would be helpful. I mean, it's not taking harmful amounts of your blood. You'll be fine." 

Morana: "Hmm."

Ishmael: "You know what? You guys, first round's on me when we get back to Sandpoint, I guess. Let's just-"

Markus: "Yeah."

Fenwarin: "Let's just head back."

Markus: "Well, we need to get back there and the what I'm assuming is the druid's animal companion is up there waiting for us. So-"

Taury: "Oh, of course it is."

Ishmael: "I mean, I'm not climbing up there, we can just take the coast line back."

Morana: "I was going to say, it's up there, we're down here, so follow the beach."

Markus: "Yeah, there's also a cave?"

Ishmael: "Yeah, my need to explore things as high as it normally is, right now it can wait." Ishmael will just pass, I guess, swim across.

Taury: Taury have a glance into the cave, but-

GM: The cave is just under the water, you would have to swim into it.

Taury: Oh yeah, then she just looks at it, walks past.

Markus: "But we are definitely coming back yes?"

Loyal: "I'd like to."

Ishmael: "Yes sure."

Taury: "We'll talk about it later. Markus."

Ishmael: "Just not at the moment, like three of us fell 80 feet into the water. I'm running low on spells and Loyal seems to be having a day." 

Loyal: "Yeah."

Taury: "I think we're all having quite a day." 

Fenwarin: "Yes."

Ishmael: "Well, it's been two technically, but yes, a day."

Morana: "Yeah, but who would have thought that falling 80 feet would be the least day of a day that one of us would have?"

Ishmael: "Never a dull moment."

Loyal: Loyal is probably like half paying attention to where he's walking, the other half of his attention is completely on just fucking like the lower left hand abdomen.

GM: As you are walking around this beach and rounding this point of the cliffs, you hear Orik from up top here scream out, "Who broke the bloody bridge?! God damn it!" 

All: [Laugh]

Morana: "Just keep moving." [Under breath]

GM: You then hear many Goblin's screams behind him, Lyrie screams, and then him disappearing from sight on the cliff as he goes to apparently battle a bunch of goblins.

Ishmael: "Oh."

Taury: "It's fine."

Loyal: "It's a distraction. We can get out of here."

Morana: "Well, he can have fun with that."

Fenwarin: "Yeah, he'll be fine."

Taury: "He'll be fine, it's fine."

Morana: "He can take his anger out, it'll be healthy, it'll be cathartic. And I'm sure she can do whatever the hell it is that she does. I'm leaving."

Ishmael: Sense motive on the whole situation, of just like, does Ishmael think that he'll make it out of there OK?

GM: No.

Ishmael: Oh fuck.

GM: No you left him very badly injured, and you know that there's a goblin army supposedly, you know, their main forces would be in Thistletop and places you have yet to explore, maybe out in the nettle area where you haven't gone through. But chances are more it's their exploratory forces and forward scouting parties and stuff that would be in the nettle area.

Ishmael: Oh. Right.

GM: Yeah, Lyrie and Orik are probably dead.

Taury: I mean, Taury has already assumed that they're dead.

Ishmael: Just Ishmael just pauses and just-

Markus: "Is there a way to help them from here?" 

Morana: "Morana searches for a solitary fuck to give."

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: Wow!

Taury: Yeah, Taury keeps walking.

Ishmael: I guess I'm gonna pick high and roll a D100 just...  Fuck. Hmmm.

GM: You know at least something somewhere inside there, is badass enough to have killed a harpy.

Markus: Which may or may not be one of the foes we've already fought.

Ishmael: Fuck.

GM: True enough.

Markus: OK, what's the range?

Ishmael: Ishmael will start- "I will meet you guys back." [Laughs uncomfortably] Unless somebody stops him, Ishmael is going back.

Loyal: God damn it. [Under breath]

Morana: "Are you just trying to die?"

Loyal: Loyal probably doesn't notice as he's very, yeah Loyal's concerned with other things right now.

Taury: Taury hasn't noticed this. Yeah, like she might hear the chatter from behind her, but she's just like, "fuck that." [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] Just fuck!

Morana: Morana was walking next to Ishmael, so she saw him turn around and she's just like, "Are you stupid?"

Ishmael: "Well, I mean, we're all stupid in ways, but no. And also as for the 'am I trying die?' I mean, hasn't worked yet. So... [Sighs] yet. Keyword Yet."

Morana: "Oh, random chance finds us all eventually."

Ishmael: [Laughs] Like anybody else going to stop Ishmael or-?

Markus: Markus is mid spell cast right now.

Ishmael: Like wait, wait a minute, what? OK hold up.

Taury: Get ready to get Markused. [Laughs] It happens to all of us at least once.

Ishmael: It's 26 spellcraft?

Morana: Morana just stops and sighs, "What the hell are you two doing?"

Taury: Taury looks behind, seeing that they've all clearly stopped and they're not coming towards where she is, so she sits down and she takes out some paper and starts writing.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Well, Ishmael will look at Morana and just go, "Well, I left a man half dead and I'd rather not have that on me again, I've just abandoned a half-. I'll be back." And then just Ishmael will just dive right into the water.

Morana: "Oh for the love of. All right, fine."

Ishmael: Ishmael will try and climb up.

Markus: At which point Markus' spell casting will complete I figure about that point. And then, yeah something will appear mid-air. And Markus will call out to it.

Morana: Will look to see what said something is? 

Markus: Looks a bit like a cloud.

Morana: Can I try a spellcraft to figure out what he just did?

GM: Planes.

Morana: Planes, you say? OK... Boo!

GM: OK, 10 is enough to identify a small air elemental that has been summoned.

Markus: Does anyone here speak the appropriate elemental language?

GM: That would be Auran?

Markus: Auran yeah.

GM: However that's pronounced. [Chuckles]

Markus: A U R A N so I'm assuming.

Ishmael: I mean, I can roll you know-

Morana: I can understand it.

Markus: Sorry, when you say understand it, you mean you speak it as a language?

Morana: No, I mean, I can understand it.

Markus: OK. 

Morana: I can tell you how, but that's classified.

Taury: Redacted.

Markus: Yeah, it's one of those things. Yeah, yeah.

Taury: It's one of his 'human' qualities.

Ishmael: Those human qualities that we all love so much..

GM: Dark vision, cough cough cough. [Laughs]

Taury: Dark Vision yeah. [Laughs]

Loyal: I mean, I think now it's only further cemented that Loyal is human.

Taury: Well, no, you're no longer 'human with dark vision'. [Laughs]

Loyal: [Laughs]

Morana: No, you've been confirmed non human.

Taury: You've been disqualified! You're no longer in the club. You can hand in your badge and T-shirt at the end of the day.

All: [Laugh]

GM: OK, I need a climb check from Ishmael, and the the cloud flies into the-

Ishmael: 5 or 6, sorry 6.

GM: You cannot climb up the rope, your soggy clothes and stuff, just it's too much weight for you at the moment.

Ishmael: I can't get a grip on the rope, damn it.

GM: Yeah, every time you do get a grip, it's just not a firm enough grip to.

Ishmael: A prestidigitation to dry my hands off some, and then just give it another heave ho... That's my roll.

GM: OK, yeah 14 will get you five feet up the cliff side of 80 feet.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: You're going to be doing this for a while. 

Ishmael: Yup.

Taury: Cut to nightfall and he's still doing it and everyone else is just like filing their nails. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Everyone's gone.

Morana: I tried to stop him.

Taury: Yeah, tried so hard. [Chuckles]

Ishmael: Yeah [Quoting Morana] "What are you stupid?" Like-

Morana: Hey, don't be dumb. Imma be dumb. OK.

Taury: Hey come back dumbass! Oh fuck! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah. Fuck! [Laughs] A 21 just to keep going up? Well actually I cast a spell.

GM: All right, Ishmael has climbed maybe 25 feet up the side of this cliff and then suddenly just turns into a raven and flies the rest of the way up.

Taury: He probably should've started with that.

GM: Resumes his form on the the top of the ledge.

Ishmael: I mean, I have I have a double movement, so, like, I should be able to zoom in and then-

GM: Yeah, it'll get you up to the top, but not all the way in, because you've got, what? 60 some feet total?

Ishmael: 50 feet of movement and then a double move will be 100, so up 80, 25, 80. So yeah I should be able to make it in.

GM: Just inside?

Ishmael: Yeah. I'd actually like to make perception onto where I hear them fighting.

GM: Sure

Ishmael: Do I hear them? I figure it's out loud enough?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah, Ishmael would shout out for Orik and what's-her-face, I forget her name already.

Taury: Lyrie.

Ishmael: Yeah, like to "Get out here! Let's go! Fuck fighting them! We have a way down!"

GM: You get no response, what are you doing?

Ishmael: I hold out until until like I start to see or hear goblins swarming me, and then I cut my losses, and get the fuck out of there. I'm crazy. I'm not that suicidal though. Not right now, anyway.

GM: The battle rings out for many minutes then.

Ishmael: Like I guess I go in, but I'm always keeping myself ready to bolt the hell out, so.

GM: OK, so you kick the doors open and leave them so?

Ishmael: Yup.

GM: All right, you open this door. This large throne room is decorated with hanging furs along its walls, mostly black and red striped fire pelt skins, various dog pelts, and in some cases, what look like horsehide. Four-square timber support the ceiling, their faces studded with dozens of iron spikes with the lower reaches, decorated with dozens of impaled and severed hands in various stages of decay. To the northeast, a wooden platform supports a throne heaped with dog pelts and horse hides. Dog skulls adorn the armrests and the horse skull leers over the thrones back. Sitting in it is a goblin, a dead giant lizard at his feet. He seems in mourning at its death. Orik and Lyrie are both dead in the middle of the room,

Ishmael: Son of a bitch!

GM: - amidst piles of goblin corpses.

Ishmael: Shit.

GM: You see two goblin commandos, three goblins and two goblin dogs besides the the king on the throne.

Ishmael: Well shit. [Sighs] Right, welp, I tried. Apparently I wasn't fast enough. GTFO. I get the fuck out of there like have they noticed me yet or?

GM: Oh yeah, you kicked the door open, everyone's eyes are on you.

Ishmael: Uuuuuh... just welp! "Right seeing as I have everyone's attention. Yes thank you." Like Ishmael will hold up like what's-her-face's head. "Your boss is dead." And then will lift up the barghest's head and just "Your god's dead. My work here is done. You guys have a good day." As he's slowly backing up to get ready to just-

GM: "Aaaaaah!" [Goblin scream]

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: As warchief Ripnugget then charges you.

Ishmael: Yeah. Yeah.

Taury: Yeah it just went exactly how I expected.

Ishmael: Oh yup! Yeah! How far can can I just like- sprint's 4x move, right? 

Taury: Straight line though right?

GM: In a straight line.

Ishmael: I was right here. I mean I would get to here I guess.

GM: You're running away from a little goblin screaming as he runs at you? OK.

Ishmael: Or I mean fuck it! He can come at me! I don't- fuck- You know fuck it! Yeah. Like and then kills me instantly but all right let's do it. I assume he's attacking. So?

GM: Yeah, as he gets within striking range he screams "Single combat!"

Ishmael: All right. Wait, what?! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait! No, hold up!

Loyal: [Laughs] 'Wait'. 

Ishmael: Fuck.

GM: That was a 25 to hit with 9 damage.

Ishmael: OK. He screams 'single combat'? OK, like, what would that be a local? Like is this a thing? Nature? Like like what would I-?

GM: Local.

Ishmael: Local, OK.

Taury: I mean, at least this one is clothed.

Ishmael: Like 16 like is this legit?! What?! OK, Fuck, All right.

GM: This is apparently their leader and he has the right to declare that, I guess, right?

Ishmael: "OK, fuck it! Let's do it! If it's fucking single combat right?!" Like goblin leadership if I murder this motherfucker right?! All right, cool whatever. A 25 yeah it hits me. He hits me. Yeah. How much? What did you say 9 damage?

GM: 9 points of piercing damage. "Yarg!"

Ishmael: Oh, my goodness. [Sarcastically] That's so scary. OK. Shit. All right.

GM: All right, and then he'll get to go first again.

Ishmael: OK.

Loyal: Ripnugget. [Chuckles] Fucking Ripnugget.

GM: Poor little guy. He lost his mount. He's only half as good with that as Mount.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Oh man, all the goblins lost their mount today. [Chuckles]

Fenwarin: Oh, that's a good one. God damn!

Loyal: God damn it. [Laughs]

Ishmael: That misses.

GM: OK, so he swings at you with his sword and misses.

Ishmael: Yeah, cool. Is it my go? 

GM: It is your turn.

Ishmael: OK. Hmm. I assume all goblins and everything else are watching me? OK. So fuck it.

GM: Oh, yeah, they're cheering on their war chief.

Ishmael: Oh, that's cute. 

Taury: It's kind of cute.

Ishmael: I guess for a full round action I'd like to use my last slot for first level spells.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: And yeah, I'm going to do a shocking grasp. So I pass... So 15 to hit?

GM: Misses.

Ishmael: OK. Here is the 12, touch attack.

GM: Misses.

Ishmael: Fuck! Seriously?! All right. "Now this is awkward." All right. Fuck where my rolls at?! Son of a bitch! My rolls! Like that misses.

GM: Yup. He then dances beside you.

Ishmael: OK, fine. All right. I attack... 13 misses, so-

Loyal: Oh my god.

Ishmael: Yeah, like Fuck it. I feel like this is actually the turn out more like fucking, I guess, epic than it should be. It's a goblin, but-

Loyal: It's a strong goblin.

Ishmael: It's whatever.

Loyal: It's warchief Ripnugget.

Ishmael: Yeah. [Chuckles]

Taury: [Chuckles] So I just realized that was this name!

Ishmael: [Laughs] That's great. He attacks I assume?

GM: He does.

Ishmael: Ah wow! He actually hit! Oh shit! That's fucking rude little bit. But I mean, hey, you got it. That's good for you bud.

Taury: [Laughs] If you die to this goblin warchief, I'm just gonna fucking laugh!

Ishmael: ... Fucking seriously game?!

Loyal: Oh my god.

Ishmael: Fucking roll 20?!

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah, that misses, like I block it with the shield I guess.

Loyal: ... There you go!

GM: Trading blows!

Ishmael: 22!

Loyal: There you go.

Ishmael: Yeah 22.

GM: 22 hits.

Ishmael: Yeah

GM: Your shocking grasp will now discharge.

Ishmael: Cool so-

Loyal: Took long enough.

Taury: This is like they're both just sitting there, like flailing at each other, like missing.

Ishmael: Yeah, right.

Loyal: Until one accidentally like clips one of them.

Taury: Yeah most of the goblins have fallen asleep at this point.

All: [Laugh] 

Taury: They've all left. They're like, "oh no, this is not a fight."

GM: Oh no, no, their were chief can do it.

Ishmael: Yeah fuck. 25 damage.

Loyal: Explodes.

GM: He just gets angry.

Fenwarin: Oh man.

Loyal: Uh oh. [Laughs nervously] 

Taury: Oooh.

Ishmael: Ooooh, all right.

Loyal: Uh oh, after 25 damage.

Taury: Oh, you picked the wrong one.

GM: He whistles.

Loyal: Uh oh. 

Ishmael: Wait what?

Taury: Oh, the mount is coming.

GM: Goblin dog runs over, you'll get an attack of opportunity on it as he then jumps on its back.

Taury: Yup!

Ishmael: 17.

GM: 17 hits!

Ishmael: All right, all right. 13 damage, please tell me I kill it.

GM: You kill the dog as he's about to jump on top of it.

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: "But you said single combat damn it! Just fuck!"

GM: "Aaaaah!" [Goblin screams]

Taury: Oh boy, this went to Benny Hill very quick.

Loyal: Oh my god. Yeah.

Fenwarin: It did yeah.

Loyal: God.

GM: He jumps back, "Yaaaah! I'm going to kill you longshanks!"

Ishmael: "Like, you know, that's fair."

GM: "Ripnugget warchief!"

Ishmael: Rustles hair no, ah shit miss again! Fuck! 

GM: "Yaar!"

Loyal: Oh my god. [Laughs] Like they were so close in initiative too.

GM: Yeah! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah OK that misses. Fuck it, like I assume there's still cheers like?

GM: Oh yeah. His followers are loving it!

Ishmael: 26.

GM: Yeah. You hit him.

Ishmael: Yeah... Fucking 7. Ow fuck.

GM: 7 points of damage.

Ishmael: Like how's he looking? Is he looking bloodied? Or is he just looking like angry?

GM: Now he does, a little bit.

Ishmael: That's good.

Loyal: Oh wow.

Taury: 'A little bit'. [Chuckles]

Loyal: A little bit, just a little bit.

Fenwarin: Oh a little bit. That's not reassuring.

Taury: Just a little bit, he's got a runny nose.

Loyal: ... Uh oh!

Taury: Oh boy!

Ishmael: Fuck! Oh no.

Loyal: OK. I don't think it confirms.

GM: He does not confirm a crit against you.

Loyal: And rolls min damage.

Ishmael: Woooh!

Taury: You are such a lucky bastard.

Loyal: Lucky mother fucker.

Ishmael: No I know. It's kind of scary. All right.

Loyal: You did this. 

GM: [Laughs]

Ishmael: ... Oh shit! Do I confirm?!

Loyal: Oh!

Ishmael: I CONFIRM !!!

All: [Cheer and Laugh]

Loyal: Oh!

Fenwarin: Whoa!

GM: Confirmed the crit. Roll your damage.

Ishmael: Fucken, 16.

Loyal: That's not a great role, but a +10's nice.

Ishmael: Hey you shut up! You shut up over there, all right? Shoosh.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: You don't get to sass us when you ran in here all on your own.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: [Laughs] Yeah.

Taury: You don't get to do that.

Loyal: You did this, you brought this on yourself.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: How would you like to end this epic fight?

Loyal: Yeah!

Ishmael: OK, cool, so, like he he attacked, like, got me good and I would just like to just cut him in half. I guess?

GM: All right.

Ishmael: It's just like-

Loyal: And all the other goblins attack.

Ishmael: I'm like, "Yeah, yeah." And just kind of look back. "I killed him. I win!" And he's just looking ready-

GM: "You not win! I still win! Yaaaar!" 

Ishmael: Wait what?

GM: And his like torso is crawling towards you and then just gives up.

Loyal: He says

GM: His torso

Loyal: His torso

GM: Is crawling towards you

Ishmael: Like looks to the other goblins, and then just is ready to bolt.

GM: They all scream in terror and run away.

Ishmael: [Sighs] "Yeah thank god! Oh." Just like- like even the fucking champions? Like they all run?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: You killed their war chief, the guy who killed the harpy out front, you slaughtered.

Ishmael: Yeah. Oh yeah. [relieved]

Taury: Yikes.

GM: Yeah

Ishmael: Yeah. I throw Orik and what's-her-face over my shoulder like-

GM: [Chuckles] I love how you don't know who she is.

Ishmael: Yeah. Fuck she's not rememberable. 

All: [Laugh]

GM: Poor Lyrie.

Ishmael: She probably has a nametag like pinned to her chest by now. And then some note about me being stupid. And then I guess like I drag the cut-in-half goblin behind me I guess, and then just kind of yeet them into the water and then just-

Taury: Why are you bringing all these corpses with you? [Laughs]

Ishmael: I mean.

GM: Really? You just toss his corpse in? OK.

Ishmael: Like-

Loyal: He has stuff on him.

Ishmael: I mean, I mean, like I hold him up, I guess I take him with me, I guess? Like.

Taury: Holds him up by his ankles, shakes him, shakes them until the shit falls out. [Laughs]

Loyal: Just loot him.

Ishmael: Or I loot him, like I can loot them like.

Loyal: I was gonna say, just loot him and leave! [Laughs]

Ishmael: No, these guys get a proper burial or whatever,

Loyal: The other guys can yeah but like-

Ishmael: Fuck it. Like the goblin, I don't-

Loyal: Loot the goblin first.

Ishmael: Yeah I loot the goblin I guess, like I don't know what he's got. It's a warchief goblin. And I imagine he doesn't have that much.

GM: He has two potions of cure moderate wounds.

Loyal: Ooh. Glad you didn't throw that in the fucking ocean. 

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: A masterwork breastplate.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: He was wielding +1 short sword.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: And he is wearing a dented crown. He is also carrying the keys to all locked doors in this complex.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Oh, well, I mean, that's fair.

Taury: Just murdered goblin Hagrid.

Ishmael: Yeah 'moderate' is how much healing?

GM: 3D8 +3, from a potion. Oh, here you're drinking one now? Cool.

Ishmael: Yeah, I drank one now. I kind of lost half my health in the fall. And then I fought a goblin warchief.

GM: [Laughs]

Ishmael: So there is one gone.

GM: You hear a lot of banging from back here, by the way.

Taury: Oh no.

Ishmael: Cool, like Ishmael, will just kind of like will scream over, "I killed the war chief! I guess it's clear!"

GM: Banging continues.

Ishmael: I don't fucking know anymore! And like-

Morana: You see a distant thumbs up.

Ishmael: I guess like... I guess I go check this like I don't want to.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Like I don't feel like I should, I feel like I'm going to die doing this by myself, whatever.

GM: The door to this outbuilding has been nailed shut and additional boards have been nailed over these nails, the door itself is cracked and splintered in places. Two dead goblins, their heads crushed in by something heavy lie in the dirt by the door, their ripening bodies covered with flies. It's this door that is just being pounded against from the inside.

Ishmael: Like, can I listen to try and figure out what the hell is making that noise? 

GM: It's just going to be more pounding.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: It's not that distinctive of a pounding noise.

Ishmael: OK. It's cracked and splintered, I look through a crack if I'm able to, without getting too close to it.

GM: All right, as you look through the crack, suddenly what looks like a horse's hoof smacks into the door and makes you bolt back a little bit.

Ishmael: All right. Cool.

Taury: Please free the damn horse. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah I am going to free the horse. I light it on fire, no. [Laughs]

Loyal: No!

Ishmael: No I open it up and step out of the way.

GM: I need either, you to commit to taking the time to do it, a strength check or a disable device check.

Ishmael: I'll make a strength check.

GM: You're trying to pull off a few of these boards. Go ahead and roll for it.

Ishmael: No. I'm not doing shit!

Loyal: Nat 1

Taury: Oh!

GM: Nat 1, these are very sturdy placed in boards, so it's almost as if they're trying to hold in a fucking horse! 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: You get a splinter.

Ishmael: Ow no! I got a splinter. Like if a 12 doesn't get it then I actually take the time and like I start shouting, "I'm opening it up! Stop kicking it! You're making it difficult." I assume the kicking continues co he'll just continue to commit.

GM: Oh yeah it does.

Ishmael: Yeah, I commit to open the damn thing.

Taury: Yeah horses love being shouted at! 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: Fucking real calming.

GM: You spend five minutes trying to open this door, all the while it's trying to kick its way out.

Ishmael: Yeah, OK.

GM: Once you do free it, it charges out into the area, begins stomping around like a bronco.

Ishmael: Yeah, that's fun.

GM: Stomping on these little goblins until they're nothing but paste.

Ishmael: Cool! "Sup."

GM: The it calms down

Ishmael: "Sup?"

GM: Before you, is a very large, majestic looking horse.

Ishmael: Cool.

Loyal: Throw a Poké Ball at it.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Let's see you getting it across now.

Ishmael: Yes.

GM: You need to make a wild empathy or handle animal check.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Or if you have the magics, charm animal.

Ishmael: If not, it's going to start trying to stomp me into a paste huh?

GM: Oh yeah. It is extremely nervous right now, you can see a lot of lacerations on it where the goblins appear to have tried to kill it, but it killed them first.

All: [Laugh]

GM: So so their solution was to put it into this barn shed thing and just trap it in there, starve it out because it was too much horse for them to kill.

Ishmael: [Laughs] 'It too much horse, please die.'

GM: Yeah, the goblin that killed a harpy couldn't kill this horse.

Loyal: [Laughs] Jesus!

Taury: Well now we have to rescue it.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: I think yeah. Super horse.

Ishmael: Can I take a 10 or do you need a roll?

GM: I need actual rolls.

Ishmael: OK, so that's a 10, I'll give you another one...

GM: Yeah, you're going to need one because that did nothing.

Ishmael: 23.

Taury: Oh sweet!

GM: Close, but still not enough.

Ishmael: Damn it! Fucken... oh god, no! Oh, fuck, I keep-

GM: Every failed attempt is worsening its attitude towards you, by the way.

Ishmael: Uh? Oh. Just a fuck! Just.

GM: You feel that you have one chance left before it just goes murder rage and stomps your bones.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Into a paste like it did the goblin.

GM: Yep.

Ishmael: Got ya, shit!

GM: Yeah, it's just going to go crazy murder horse on ya.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Oh fuck! Shit!....  Doh god! Nope I run! Nope! I run! Fuck! I run! I'm out! I free horse, "No! Horse get out of here!" If it fits through that door... Oh my god it fit through the door! 

All: [Laugh] 

Ishmael: No! Just no! Just nope! Nope! Oh my god! I fucking start climbing down like a horse isn't going over the edge with me damn it!

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Oh fuck.

GM: It begins stomping at the cliff edge as you're climbing down.

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah.

GM: You then see the intelligence in its eyes as it realizes the ropes are holding you up. 

Loyal: [Laughs] 

GM: And it begins stamping out the ropes.

Taury: Oh! 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: OH MY GOD! You son of a bitch!

Markus: This is not a normal horse.

Taury: Listen, I empathize with this horse, to be fair.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] Oh!

Taury: How is it supposed to know you're not an asshole too?

GM: It stomps through one side of the ropes.

Ishmael: Oh god! Everything is like fuck.

GM: It then goes over to stomp through the other side, as you get onto the rope to continue climbing down.

Ishmael: Can I just do like, you know what? Just slide down, just hands grip, slide down? Just.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: You got gloves on?

Ishmael: Yeah, I do that. Yeah. Like, I don't know how far down the rope I get before you know.

GM: All right, we will roll 3D6 of bludgeoning damage for you.

Ishmael: Like son of a bitch!

Markus: Non-lethal bludgeoning damage. 

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: As you fall into the water after it's stomped through the ropes and everything, it's neighing furiously. Snorting. 

Ishmael: OK.

Loyal: Angry horse.

GM: It prances about up there on that ledge a little bit. And then you see it go back into the the structure.

Ishmael: Cool. Yeah. Well, it's off to kill more goblins I guess. Yeah, I just swim back, I guess.

Morana: "What the hell was that?"

Ishmael: "Right. I killed the war chief in a single combat, they all fled, I freed a horse and that horse I uh, son of a bitch that was a smart horse! I don't know how we'll get the horse off of the island but whatever. That's a later problem I guess, or not, I don't- [Inhales] Right. I don't know anymore. I'm just going to. Yeah... Yeah."

Morana: "Anybody here good with horses? Apparently there's a really angry one back there."

Ishmael: "Ah ha, ha. Really angry isn't the word, 'very pissed' would be the better word."

Markus: "Maybe."

Ishmael: "No, not really."

Loyal: "I don't know. Let's get back to Sandpoint."

Taury: And seeing you all approach then Taury would put all our paperwork back into her pocket, and stand up.

Loyal: Paperwork. [Chuckles]

Taury: Yeah

Ishmael: Hands everyone a receipt.

Taury: Yeah. She's doing her taxes. No, it's letters and scraps of paper. And continue walking.

Ishmael: Ishmael will go, "Right, that was a day. Just that was a day. Like what churches are in town?"

Markus: "The church, basically."

Loyal: "Yeah, a church."

Morana: "It has shrines to half a dozen gods."

Ishmael: "Oh cool, cool." I take, you know, Orik's and... yep, I take both their bodies.

GM: [Laughs] God damn it! Lyrie!

Ishmael: [Laughs] Lyrie, Lyrie, I take Lyrie and just yeah.

Morana: Code name 'useless'. Morana will go with him.

Markus: Yeah, Markus will as well.

Fenwarin: Yeah, Fen will as well.

Taury: Yeah. Taury doesn't.

Ishmael: That's fair.

Loyal: Yeah, Loyal's just going to go back to his room and then go over some stuff.

Morana: I am absolutely shocked that he would seek some time alone. 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Yeah what? Who would have guessed? 

GM: All right, here is the question for you. Do you loot them first or are you just taking them there with all their stuff?

Ishmael: I was going to try and get them revived or raised, like see if-

GM: Oh?

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: OK.

Taury: An unusual murder hobo.

Loyal: Not our usual loot them first and then just leave them in a ditch.

Taury: I love how none of us thought of that.

Loyal: Yeah, we're like "hey just loot 'em, leave 'em."

Taury: We're like "meh, they're dead. We'll just loot 'em. Fuck 'em.

Morana: I had, but that's money. 

GM: All right.

Loyal: I mean, if we can only raise one of them, I think we know which one we're raising.

Taury: It's clearly Lyrie, right?

Fenwarin: Yeah sure. [Chuckles]

Loyal: Obviously.

Morana: I will punch you.

Taury: We're not all sexist here right? [Laughs]

Loyal: Wow! [Laughs]

Taury: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Ishmael: I know it's not polite to kick open, but I open the door to the church and enter.

GM: Immediately, a couple of the acolytes, that's the word for them, a couple of the acolytes run up to you and help you with the bodies.

Ishmael: "Yes, they need to be brought back. They died about a few hours ago."

Markus: "Is the father available?"

GM: "Yes, we'll go fetch him." One of them runs off.

Ishmael: Continue to I guess, take them wherever he's being led to take Lyrie and Orik.

GM: Father Zantus approaches, "I've been informed you need to raise some companions from the dead?" 

Ishmael: Yes. 

GM: And then looking at the group and who the bodies are, "These aren't heroes, Who are they?"

Ishmael: "They're associates and I fucked up and they ended up dead. So."

Markus: "You're not the only one that made mistakes. And they died fighting goblins that would have attacked the town."

Ishmael: "That also."

GM: "Heroes in their own right."

Morana: "Sure." [Sarcastically]

Ishmael: Like Ishmael, will just cut a lock to Morana, just "Now is not the time."

Morana: Morana wasn't saying another word and doesn't look back at him.

GM: "I wish I could raise them for free, but-"

Ishmael: "How much? And I will pay for it."

GM: "You say they aided you in your endeavor, so we will take that into consideration and give you a 25 percent discount. Since it was the heroes that stopped the threat to the village and they aided you, that is our appreciation that we can give."

Ishmael: Just like,

Loyal: Sell their stuff, sell their stuff.

Taury: [Laughs]

Ishmael: "You know what, how much is it? Like 25 percent discount, but how much is it going to be in total?"

GM: "We're essentially waiving our spell casting service, the diamonds will still need to be provided."

Ishmael: "Gotcha."

GM: "We have some in stock, but not many. Those are the costly parts and they will need to be replenished, which is why we need to have you pay for them."

Ishmael: "OK." Question: out of character, the stuff that I looted from the crab pit, wer there a bunch of gems and everything there too? 

GM: Yeah. 

Ishmael: Like enough to cover this?

GM: It was assorted gems.

Ishmael: Ishmael, will I guess, dig through them for any diamonds, offer those to help with payment and then will, you know- So out of Characters it's 5k that I raise? Or how much is it? How much money do I need to shell out for this?

GM: The diamonds are worth 5,000 gold each.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: So that's 10,000 gold to raise both of them.

Ishmael: All right, and I assume there is not, you know, 10000 gold worth of diamonds, so all right.

Markus: No, no. barely a tenth of that.

Taury: There is a gold crab helmet, though.

Loyal: That we left.

Markus: That we couldn't carry because we're going to go back for it, but yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: We could still go back for it.

Loyal: It's heavy as fuck and-

Ishmael: Yeah, I guess Ishmael will offer up any loot, you know. "I guess also use whatever they have on them. I'm sure they wouldn't mind in the fact that it would be, you know-

Loyal: "Bring them back to life."

Ishmael: - going towards them, coming back to life." Ishmael is clearly uncomfortable here a little bit. It's been a long day, a couple of days, two days technically, a fucking horse. 

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: They take all their gear, they do some accounting on it, and say that will be enough to revive one of them.

Loyal: Woah.

Taury: Oh.

Ishmael: Ishmael will look to the others and just go, "Uh, I say Orik. Anybody else have any objections to that?"

Fenwarin: "No objections."

Markus: "I wish I could say otherwise, but I didn't really meet Orik, so."

Ishmael: "I mean, I say that because I almost killed him, and I left him with half health, wounded, going into a fight."

Morana: "Can the other have a gentle repose cast on them to give us time to bring together funds to bring them back?"

GM: "No, but, I can give you a note of debt, if you're adamant about bringing them both back now. That's the best I can do."

Markus: "I can cast gentle repose, I need to spend some time preparing it, but."

Ishmael: Ishmael will chime up, "I will take the note of debt then."

GM: "It's not about the bodies decaying or not."

Ishmael: "It's a time factor."

GM: "Exactly." 

Markus: Yeah, OK.

GM: Cool. That is a lot of coin that you need, fairly quickly.

Ishmael: That is a lot of coin.

Taury: Anybody got any sugar daddies or something?

Morana: Well, funny you should mention that, there's somebody you could probably talk to Taury.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] Oh, I like this. Oh.

Taury: Wait, what is happening?

Loyal: Oh, OK I see where this is going.

Morana: You have a friend who is in money. 

Markus: Yeah also Taury is not there. Can we bring this-?

Morana: Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot she wasn't.

Loyal: If you have that idea, you could talk to her about it.

Ishmael: Ishmael will go "Raise them both, I will take the debt."

Morana: "Well, we need to finish exploring Thistletop, and we did have a few other leads that we could follow. Hopefully that will be enough to find-"

Ishmael: "Yeah." Does the father start or what's going on?

GM: If you agree to only rez one of them, or take your note of debt?

Ishmael: Yeah, I take the note of debt.

GM: Taking the note of debt. OK.

Ishmael: Yes.

GM: They will begin preparations to resurrect both of them.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: "You don't need to be here for this. We can handle it."

Ishmael: "I will wait."

Morana: "Very well then." Morana leaves and she's going to go try to see the mayor in her office. See if she's there.

 	That's all the time we have for now. To learn more about the show, the cast, etc. head over to http://wayward-expeditions.com/ .