Wayward Expeditions - Rise of the Runelords - Episode 22
Intro: For much of written history world events followed chartered routes. Oracles and seers mapped out the future in the stars above and their prophecies always gave a reliable view of the ages to come. Until a god died a century ago. No one saw that coming. And now the old prophecies are failing, oracles go mad and seers desperately tried to account for the loss of the future. While some cry out that the world is at an end, they've been doing so for a hundred years now and the world is still here, it's just unclear where things are going. The future of Golarian is open, ready to receive the triumphs and failures of a new generation of heroes. Welcome to Rise of the Runelords!

GM: So, when we left off, you had just fought some lovely shadowy undead, after entering a room through a secret passage. The battle has just finished.

Taury: Oh look, -8, -8 to my strength!

GM: [Laughs] What, what would you like to do now?

Taury:  §Is crying an option?

GM: It is a certainly valid option, yes.

Loyal: It's always, always an option.

Ishmael : Crying is always an option. Ah, I guess Ishmael will look around and go, like, "Everybody alive and not dead?"

Morana: "They seem to be fine."

Ishmael : "Good. That's great... Right. Well, what do we do now? We all look kind of rough."

Loyal: "It's a good question."

Fenwarin: "Do we even dare rest here?" 

Loyal: "In theory, the threat is dealt with, though I'm not very familiar with undead, so for all I know, they could come back."

Markus: "If we really want to rest, I would recommend doing so behind the secret door. But do we need to?"

Ishmael : "Some of us here look kind of sapped, that's all I can say."

Loyal: "I have a feeling that's not going to be going away anytime soon, so resting won't do too much for us.

Morana: "And there's nothing I can really do about it.

Markus: "No, I don't have the spells to do anything about that either. Not yet anyway."

Ishmael : "Um, I take it rest will be needed then? Or I suppose we could just go out there and wing it, but, ah, that seems a little bit reckless."

Markus: "Rest is, or, well, the only place we know with, with proficient healers, for this sort of thing, is back at Sandpoint."

Loyal: "Which I don't think traveling back there is really an option at this point."

Markus: "No, I tend to agree with that, but, well, recovery's going to be a slow process without magical intervention. Let's put it that way."

Loyal: "I concur with that. In that case, should we push on or should we at least talk about a plan of action? What's, what's the goal here?"

Ishmael : "Well, I'm at about half my normal capability. I don't know about-"

Loyal: "As far as mine, as far as being proficient at combat, I still am at full strength, just a matter of, well, my physical strength has been sapped."

Taury: "I'm much the same as Loyal."

Fenwarin: "You're all still capable."

Ishmael : "Well, do we take a vote then?"

Loyal: "I see no issue with that." 

Fenwarin: "Hmm-mmm."

Ishmael : "All in, ah, all in favor of, ah, resting a bit, say 'aye', all in favor of pressing forward, say 'nay'?"

Taury: "Nay." 

Loyal: "Nay." 

Fenwarin: "Nay."

Ishmael : "Alright then, that was what, three of you guys? I say 'aye'."

Morana: It doesn't particularly matter. I would be outnumbered if I voted against it, so let's, I'm going with majority." 

Markus: "Well, I- There are always pros and cons."

Ishmael : "Well, with majority then, I suppose we press forward then."

Loyal: "Push on as well we can."

Markus: "If we get even an, even a hint of more of those things we retreat, I think."

Loyal: "I agree with that."

Ishmael : "Ah, yes."

Taury: "Yes, wise."

Fenwarin: "Yeah, it's too risky."

Ishmael : "Alright then." I guess Ishmael will lean forward to peek out the door.

GM: Alright, the door is unlocked.

Ishmael : I open it and stick my head through just enough to see.

GM: You see a hallway that bends to the right.

Ishmael : Ok.

GM: It is completely unlit, but you have no problem seeing.

Ishmael :  Yeah.

Loyal: We're all humans with Dark vision.

Taury: Humans with Dark vision. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael : I like, I, ah, press up slowly. 

Fenwarin: There it is!

Ishmael : And, I guess, peak around.

GM: Yup. As you look back towards the door, the southern wing of this L-shaped hallway ends at a pair of stone doors, carved with the depictions of two skeletons reaching out to clutch a skull between them. While the east hallway, which is where you're looking now for the first time, narrows down to a frame with a circular carving of what seems to be an immense stack of tens of thousands of gold coins that rise from floor to ceiling.

Ishmael : This is a carving?

GM: The edges of these coins are carved with tiny, spiky runes.

Ishmael : Right, a knowledge history? Yes or-?

GM: No, you have no historical reference for what this might be.

Ishmael : So I can make no knowledge checks on it?

GM: I didn't say that.

Ishmael : Oh, but what knowledge check would I need, GM?

GM: Well, what are you trying to learn?

Ishmael : Ah, what, what exactly it's supposed to reference or depict? Like, this is just a carving, right? These aren't like a- Or is it just-?

GM: It looks like a tower of thousands of gold coins. 

Ishmael : Oh, hmm.

Markus: Ok, you said the gold coins look like they have runes carved in them?

Ishmael : Yeah, I-

GM: Yeah, along the edges.

Taury: Religion, surely.

Markus: Are those runes recognizable at all?

GM: Ah, those of you that speak Thassilonian, yes, it is Thassilonian.

Ishmael : Oh cool, and what do they say? I speak Thassilonian.

GM: Yeah, ok.

Markus: So does Markus.

GM: It's just the rune of greed.

Ishmael : I see.

GM: Repeated, around each coin. Yeah, over and over, just greed.

Ishmael : Cool. I think it's best not to take it or touch it.

Markus: Possibly.

GM: Ah, there is a door just behind you, Markus.

Markus: Yep.

GM: Right there, on the wall.

Markus: Detect magic on the coins.

GM: You do not detect any magic on the coins. The strongest source of magic that you can currently sense is actually coming from Ishmael. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs] 

Markus: Ok.

Taury: I love that every check that we do always ends up being a party member that pings.

Ishmael : [Laughs] You are not inciting paranoia amongst the ranks. What? No. 

Taury: 'Detect evil', nothing pings except your teammate. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: That hasn't happened, yet.

Taury: It, it- A version of that happened!

Markus: 'Detect fiendish' was what you're thinking of. 

GM: Ok.

Taury: Yeah. 

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: Ah-huh. 

Ishmael : Well.

Markus: "No enchantment on them, but-"

Loyal: "Probably best to leave it alone for now."

Fenwarin: "Yeah, don't touch them. I smell a trap."

Loyal: "Considering they also say 'greed' on them."

Ishmael : Yeah, ah...

Markus: Out of character Furtive, would we actually know anything about the currencies used in ancient Thassilon?

GM: It is a pet subject for Markus, isn't it? 

Markus: Hmm-mm, yeah.

GM: Yeah, you might have come across a rare ancient coin or two. So, yeah, you would recognize these as, the currency of, ah, the Kingdom of... 

Markus: Ok.

GM: What kingdom is that? I can never remember which kingdoms are which.

Markus: Do they, do they have coins for each kingdom then?

GM: Yes.

Markus: Right, Ok.

GM: Yeah, and this would be the runelord of greed, Karzoug, he had a kingdom, I want to call it something that started with a B, but it's escaping my mind at the moment.

Markus: I will check my notes, but yeah.

GM: It would be checking out correctly to be his.

Ishmael : Hmm, I'd like to make a perception check to see, like, that, it's trapped, or booby-trapped, or if we touch it then we all die, or something? 

GM: Sure. 

Ishmael : Cool.

Taury: [Laughs] "I'll check to see if we touch it, do we all die?"

Ishmael : I mean, hey, hey, those are, those are, you know?

Taury: Oh, it's valid. It's absolutely valid.

Ishmael : Pressing concerns, like, of-

Taury: It's just, it's just funny. [Laughs]

Ishmael : 12, yeah.

GM: This all strikes you as odd, but that's about it.

Ishmael : Yeah, ah-

Markus: Can we estimate how many coins there are, and approximate value?

GM: Sure. There's tens of thousands of gold coins here. They're gold coins. So tens of thousands of gold. 

Ishmael : [Laughs] 

Markus: Ok.

Taury: Counting, it's a sore spot!

Ishmael : One, two, three...

Markus: This isn't a case where the coins themselves have intrinsic value because they're ancient coins, it's just the gold value?

GM: Right.

Markus: Ok. 

GM: As far as like, trading purposes, yeah, they would just be considered gold coins.

Markus: "I don't see anything-"

Ishmael : "Yeah, I don't, I don't trust, you know, gold coins stacked next to, you know, a crypt."

Loyal: "In a place where it's, ah, the runelord of greed."

Markus: "This might be what they're using as a treasure room?"

Ishmael : "I mean, fair."

Markus: "But, unless you particularly want to pick them up and carry them now, they're going to weigh quite a bit and that might slow us down?"

Ishmael : "Yeah, yeah."

GM: You can do a Perception check. 

Ishmael : Hmm.

GM: Speaking of which, Ishmael, when you did your perception check, did you touch anything?

Ishmael : No.

Taury: [Laughs] And he definitely didn't now.

Ishmael : Umm, no, I didn't, um.

GM: All right.

Ishmael : Oh, first crit of the day, look at that!

Markus: Yeah, Perception, that's a good start.

GM: Yeah, ah, Morana, you can tell that this isn't actually gold coins, it's just a sculpture. 

Ishmael : Ok.

Morana: Yeah, that was going to be a question I was going to ask.

GM: Yeah, Markus, you are acutely aware that this is a stone sculpture with, like gold leaf overlaid on it to make it look like gold coins. It's an immaculate job, but this is actually some sort of mechanical device. You can tell that there's some sort of hollow space behind this. And, as you realize that this is some sort of mechanical doorway, you notice, as well, a small coin-sized slot on the wall beside you and just on the other side of Ishmael.

Markus: "Oh, this. Hmm... Well, that's interesting."

Ishmael : "Hmm?"

Markus: "It's not actually what it appears to be."

Ishmael : "I see."

Markus: "I'm wondering if it's a door."

Ishmael : "I mean, if it's a door, then how do you open said door?"

Markus: "Here", and Markus will point to the slot next to him and then, "over there, as well, next to you, if you see?"

Ishmael : "Ok, ok." Perception check on that.

GM: Yeah, right where he's pointing, there's a little coin-size slot in the wall. 

Ishmael : Well.

Markus: "This place is devoted to the runelord of greed."

Ishmael : "I take it you don't have any of those coins on you, so I guess we'll have to find some. Or I guess we could, you know?"

Markus: "I mean, the coins in the crab room?"

Ishmael : "Umm?" 

Markus: "Were they these type?"

Ishmael : Umm, Ishmael will check 'em.

GM: Yes. 

Ishmael : Uh, well, uh, Ishmael will flip, uh, um, Markus one and he will take another, like, "Well, here's to hoping this doesn't kill us!"

GM: A gold coin for each of you. All right. 

Markus: Yup.

Ishmael : And we'll put it in said slot.

Markus: At the same time? 

Ishmael : Yes. 

Markus: "So, together?"

Ishmael : Yeah, "3, 2, 1," and then insert.

GM: You slide them into the slots and you hear them clank down, much like a vending machine. And then, you hear a grinding noise, as if immense stone gears were beginning to turn, and the pillar shakes and begins sliding downward, slowly and loudly. You can feel the floor rumbling beneath you as this is happening.

Ishmael : Um, question? The door next to us, not the one that's sliding open and groaning now, like, does it open inward or outward?

GM: Ah, it will open towards you, into the room.

Ishmael : Ok, is there any handle or no?

GM: Yeah, there's handles.

Ishmael : Ah, I would like to, ah, I would like to ready an action for it, if it opens, to close it.

GM: Ok.

Ishmael : Like with, with the spell open-close, yeah, if it, you know?

GM: Understood. After almost 30 seconds of loud grinding and rumblings, the pillar goes level to the floor.

Ishmael : Ok.

GM: Beyond, you see a T-intersection hallway that veers off left, right and dead in front of you is a pair of double doors.

Ishmael : Ok, do they depict anything like the door to the crypt? Like, are they just normal doors?

GM: Ah, just large stone doors.

Ishmael : Cool. I'd like to make Perception to see if the, you know, this door opening has alerted anyone and they're, I guess, coming towards us?...Baa! Yeah. Yep. Yep. I got nothing.

GM: Ah, it seems safe.

Markus: I also want to listen out to see if I can hear anything.

Loyal: Same.

Taury: Yeah, we doing all them Perception checks.

Loyal: Yeah, we're all like 'fuck!'

GM: Mmm.

Loyal: Ooh!

GM: Delicious paranoia.

Taury: At least when I die, I want to hear what's coming, you know?

Loyal: I want to hear it coming, yeah.

Taury: Not with that nat 1 I won't. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Oh my God! And with two nat 1's already, not boding well. Well there was a nat 20 earlier.

Taury: This is upsetting. 

Ishmael : It's fine.

GM: Ah, Morana, you hear very faintly the horrific howling that you heard in the lower levels of the crypts of wrath.

Loyal: Fuck!

Fenwarin: Oh, man!

Markus: "That just doesn't sound right! You remember the noises we heard underneath the crypts, underneath the Old Light, the area we couldn't get to?" 

Markus: "Yes?" 

Morana: "I hear it again." Um, from what direction?

GM: From behind this door.

Morana: Oh, north! Oh, joy! She kind of points to the door next to her. "That way!"

Ishmael : "I see."

Markus: "Ok."

Loyal: "Let's go the other way then."

Markus: "We're going the other way?"

Loyal: "Yes."

Taury: "That might be good. Yes."

Ishmael : "Yeah, we don't want to be flanked." 

Loyal: "Yeah. Should we barricade the door?"

Ishmael : "Well, do you have anything to barricade the door?"

Morana: "It's faint, so it may be some slight distance away, but it's definitely in that direction." 

Markus: "Or at least the sound, the route it's coming to reach you, is that direction?"

Morana: "Well, that's what I'm saying, I don't know how far away it is. I'm just alerting you to the fact that I hear it, that way."

Ishmael : "Are we going in, or barricading it?"

Markus: "Remember why we're here."

Loyal: "To deal with Nualia, yeah? And not to fight some crazy demon in that room, so."

Fenwarin: "Yeah."

Taury: "And some might suggest we go the long way around."

Morana: "You know, I hate to be the one to burst such bubbles, but considering what Nualia is in league with, if we have the opportunity to destroy something that's working with her, separately from her, rather than fighting them both at the same time?"

Markus: "Tactically sound. Yes."

Fenwarin: "Hmm-mm. I do like those odds better." 

Ishmael : "Yes."

Taury: Taury's casting Detect fiendish presence in a 60-foot cone directly behind the door.

GM: Yeah, you get a strong ping from that about 40 feet directly past that door. 

Taury: Ok. 

GM: But it's faint enough that you know you're looking through enough solid material where it has almost blocked out your spell's ability to see it.

Taury: Ok.

GM: Which tells you there's at least one more door, maybe more, between you and whatever you're sensing. 

Taury: Ok.

Ishmael : Um, the better question is, is it, is it moving closer?

GM: The longer you concentrate on the spell, the clearer your senses get. You sense 2 specific fiendish presences there, as well as Loyal. 

Loyal: Yup. Hi!

Taury: Two outside of him or?

Loyal: I'm human.

GM: Yes, Loyal would be your third.

Taury: Ok, cool. Great. [Laughs]

Ishmael : "So barricade the door then?"

Taury: "Yes, I detect something that direction."

GM: Perception checks.

Ishmael : Alright. 26.

Taury: Can I do better than a 7?

Loyal: Mmm.

Taury: Oh, wow! A 9.

Loyal: That's better than a 7!

Taury: Shut up! 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: You got your wish!

Taury: Is it, though?

Morana: Factually correct.

Taury: Shut up.

GM: All right, Ishmael and Morana, you both hear Loyal whispering to himself, "Get out of my head! Shut up, shut up! Stop! Not listening! No!"

Morana: Morana just slowly turns her head.

Loyal: He's in his own world right now.

Ishmael : Yeah, ah, Ishmael will kind of tilt his head and move closer. You said Loyal, right?

GM: Yes.

Ishmael : Just kinda flick him in the forehead, just. 

Loyal: "Ow!"

Ishmael : "So, ah."

Markus: Just kind of poke him in the shoulder. Poke, poke.

Loyal: That kind of snaps him out of it, "What?"

Ishmael : "Um, so you're talking to something?"

Loyal: "Ah, I'm fine. Let's just move on."

Ishmael : "Ah-" 

Morana: "No!"

Ishmael : Ishmael will actually put a hand on his shoulder and just like grip to stop him from moving from his square. Yeah.

Loyal: I'll probably try to avoid that, probable fail, but-

GM: Alright, that will be a Combat maneuver versus a Combat maneuver defense.

Ishmael : Yeah.

GM: CMB verse CMD.

Taury: Which ya'll have shit strengths right now, right? 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: Cause that'll be fun!

Loyal: Yeah, mine's got- To be fair, mine got drained too, so.

Taury: They're all just going to be rolling around on the floor.

Loyal: CMD is 12. 

Taury: [Laughs]

Loyal: Yeah!

Ishmael : The son of a bitch! 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael : Wow! It's, ah, it's- 

Loyal: Nope.

GM: Loyal, amazingly, just slithers by you-

Markus: Hold on!

GM: Oh, Morana's going to try, Ok.

Loyal: What'll it be?

Morana: Well, that's a straight +0, so.

Loyal: It's a slight, slightly in my favor percentage-wise... Fuck!

Ishmael: [Laughs] No!

Loyal: Fuck!

GM: Alright. So, so you slip by Ishmael's grasp, but are instantly held in place by Morana. Just both hands on your shoulders.

Loyal: He's grabbed me by the backpack!

Ishmael: Ah, just-

Morana: I'm, I'm thinking more by the, by the collar and the back of the hood, just "No! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah-"

Loyal: You grab my hood?

Morana: Right, right around like the back of the neck, just, just, hmm. 

Loyal: Ok.

GM: Not enough to pull it off? 

Loyal: Ok.

Morana: No, it's just like, "Nn, nn, nn, nn, nn, nn, no we don't gloss over this."

Loyal: "Well, if you talk to something all the time, so."

Ishmael: "That's fair, but you were telling it to get out of your head."

Morana: "Yes, and the, the thing I talk to is physically present."

Fenwarin: "She doesn't talk to herself."

Taury: Taury just looks at them, like sighs.

Morana: "And it doesn't, you know, come and go when there's demonic presences is nearby. That's a little concerning."

Loyal: His jaw kind of tenses for a second, like he just got, kinda like, punched in the gut almost.

Morana: "So, I can't speak for anyone else, but I'd like some idea of what's going on before I end up in a fight where it becomes a problem."

Loyal: "It won't be a problem. I think it's just some chemical side effects. I've been trying things to cure my ah- I've, [sighs] I've been trying cures on my own, experimenting on myself. So, probably some side effects." 

Markus: "That involve you talking to people that aren't there?"

Ishmael: "Yeah."

Markus: "That's not a good sign."

Loyal: "You think I don't know that?"

Morana: Yes, that's going to be a big old Sense motive!

Ishmael: Yeah, I got nothing on that one. Shit, dude! 

Loyal: I will roll a bluff.

Ishmael: Can I roll today, please?

Loyal: Poof. Yes!

Ishmael: No. [Laughs]

Morana: [Laughs]

Loyal: Ah, Fuck! I still haven't got it!

GM: All right, Markus, this is not chemically-induced. While hallucinations might be possible, hmm, no.

Markus: "Yeah, I'm not entirely certain I believe that explanation, Loyal. You wouldn't be trying to lie to us would you?"

Loyal: "Anyways, should we move on?"

Markus: "No."

Taury: While they're talking, Taury's just still concentrating on trying to detect the two presences behind the door.

Loyal: Which I'm standing in front of now.

Taury: Just, she's just concentrating, like trying to block them out.

GM: Alright, the more you concentrate, the clearer you can see them, it appears that one is a humanoid form and the other is a animalistic dog-type form.

Loyal: Oh!

Taury: Maybe a hellhound?

Loyal: Maybe a barghest? [Laughs]

Taury: Maybe both.[Laughs]

GM: You're not sure.

Taury: And, do I get any, ah, further inclination on how close or far away they are? They're still about 40 foot?

GM: Yeah, still about 40 foot.

Morana: Maybe my idea of, "Hey, catch them separately" is a fucking pipe dream? [Laughs] 

Markus: "Loyal?"  

Loyal: "Yes."

Markus: "Not to put too fine a point on it, this happened here, now. If we're going to do this, we need to know you're not going to be a liability, that you're not going to try fighting against us." 

Loyal: "I won't." 

Markus: "But something? You're talking to something."

Loyal: "A voice in my head. That's the extent. I don't know what it is, what it wants, there's just a voice in my head."

Morana: "What has it said?" 

Loyal: "Something about finding it. I don't know."

Ishmael: "'It' as in the voice or 'it' as in an object the voice is looking for?"

Loyal: "It says, 'find me'. Don't know what it is, don't know what it wants, apart from that."

Taury: "When did you start hearing these voices, Loyal?"

Loyal: "When we got into this- out of the water at least. It's the last time I remember."

Markus: "And you felt no compulsion to follow up on those?"

Loyal: "No." 

Markus: Markus will cast Detect magic and focus on Loyal in particular.

GM: Ah, do you have any active magical auras, Loyal?

Loyal: Ah, apart from the Ant haul extract I drank, so, you know, not being super weighed down, and the Dragon bane longsword on me, no.

GM: Alright, then, yeah, you don't detect anything on Loyal besides those two things.

Markus: The Ant haul, what school was that?

GM: Transmutation. 

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: You could say that you don't detect anything 'disloyal'.

GM: Ahh!

Fenwarin: [Chuckles] Ooh.

Ishmael: Really? Now, in a dungeon where we could all die?

Taury: Listen, I'm thinking the same thing about this situation. Like, really? Is this now? You want to do this now?

Ishmael: I mean-

Taury: That's out of character!

Ishmael: "Well, are the things getting closer or are they still staying put?"

Taury: "They appear to be staying where they are, but they're definitely that way."

GM: Ah, no, actually. It appears to be only 15 feet away from you now.

Ishmael: Cool, cool

Loyal: Great I'm distracted.

Ishmael: "Ah, everybody, every-"

GM: Ok, 25 feet, 25 feet away from you.

Markus: Ok.

Ishmael: "Everybody into the new room that has just opened up. Ah, yeah."

Taury: "Should we bar the door?"

GM: It has also become clearer as if there's less barrier between you.

Taury: "Yeah, they're walking through rooms."

Ishmael: "Yeah, as I said."

Morana: "Ok, ambush positions? Quickly?"

Ishmael: "Ah, or we just try-?"

Loyal: "Away from door!"

Taury: "We should bar the door!"

Ishmael: "Yeah, um, well, do you have anything to bar the door, because there's nothing in the crypt, so-"

Markus: "If this is who we think it is, this is the reason we're here! Better now than when we're fully depleted."

Ishmael: "Oh, oh, OK, I, um."

Morana: "The man's got a point."

Fenwarin: "Yeah."

Loyal: "It's valid point."

Ishmael: "Yes, I, er, er, oh, ah, hmm."

Taury: Does the door look like it could be, like, barred in any way, like, is there a lock on it or, like, a bolt or anything?

GM: No.

Taury: Literally nothing? And there's nothing in the room that would work?

GM: Yeah, you're just in a hallway.

Taury: Fuck!

Loyal: Fucking hallways!

Taury: Does it have a doorknob that I can just hold [laughs] with my shit strength score?

GM: It's a handle, not a-

Taury: Of course it is!

GM: Not a latch knob.

Taury: Fucking fuck!

Ishmael: "Um, everybody in here, um-"

Taury: Oh boy! Oh, this is cozy. This is- Oh, and there's two doors in here, three doors in here!

Ishmael: They frantically, uh- Ah, 12, does it look like there's a shutting mechanism for the, for, for the door that, you know? Just, no?

GM: Yes! On this side of the pillar, there appear to be two more of those slots.

Ishmael: Ah, I flick a coin at ah, to ah-

Markus: "No! What are you doing?"

Ishmael: Taury. 

Taury: Yep.

Ishmael: And, and I pull another one, and I count down and-

Taury: Yeah, the coin does the thing.

Ishmael: Put the coin in. Yep.

Loyal: Oh, oh!

Ishmael: "Look, I'm only two hits away from going down, and I'm not going to be good to anybody if that happens. And I feel like, you know-"

Loyal: "If you got injured and we can't heal you, oops."

Ishmael: "Taury is about the same."

Morana: "We've lost the element of surprise, they're by themselves-"

Taury: "Shhh! Markus, if they're coming, then they will hear you."

Morana: "If they're coming, they will hear the damn thing closing again!"

Taury: "But at least it will be closed."

Ishmael: Like, ah, how long does it take for it to close? Is it, is it-?

GM: As you put the, the coins in, the door opens and through it- 

Loyal: Ah!

Taury: Surprise motherfucker! [Laughs]

Loyal: Fuck that!

GM: You see a woman step through the door. She sees you, you hear the latches release on the pillar and it, as if spring-loaded, snaps to the ceiling with a thud.

Ishmael : Cool, is there a chance to make, like, a Per-, like a Knowledge or anything on, on, like, Local something, anything on that woman? Like, do I get a good look at her, or-?

GM: It is a split second.

Ishmael : Umm, that's fair.

Taury: But in that split second, what did she look like?

Ishmael : Yeah, would you need a Perception for that?

Taury: Fiendish and unpleasant?

GM: I will put a picture into the discord of what she looked like. Give me a moment.

Ishmael : Oh boy!

Markus : Yep, yep.

Taury: Does Careless Whisper also start playing when we saw her for that split second? 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael : [Laughs]

Loyal: The question is: Is this the one we're looking for or is that a different one? That's the question.

Taury: Which demon is this one, the one we're looking for or the one we're not looking for?

Ishmael : Right, there's a difference? Huh.

Taury: Ah listen, not all demons look the same. [Laughs]

Loyal: Assuming she has hands, she can just, you know, open the door again.

Ishmael : Well, she's got- If she's got the things to open the door.

Taury: But, you know, attack of opportunity, right?

Markus : No.

Loyal: We wait until, we wait 'til she steps through and then close it on her.

Taury: Because we'll be expecting her to come in?

Markus : No, no, no. We, we lost the opportunity for that now.

Taury: Well, she knew we were there anyway.

Loyal: Oh, yeah.

GM: She, she is a, a well-built woman of white, shock-white hair in black and red armor. One arm looks almost demonic and she's carrying a sword.

Ishmael : Yeah.

Taury: Oh boy, but she's healthy, basically.

Ishmael : [Laughs]

GM: You notice she's got scarring across her abdomen. 

Ishmael : Yeah, ah-

Taury: I don't like her. [Laughs]

Loyal: Uh.

Ishmael : Knowledge planes as to why she could have, like, a demon arm? Would that work or would it be arcana?

GM: Ah, neither.

Markus : Religion?

Ishmael : Yeah?

GM: There you go.

Markus : Yep, yep.

Ishmael : Sorry I'm- My brain isn't here right now. Um, 26 on religion as to why the hell she could be having a demon?

Taury: Oh yeah, I'm a do that, too. Oh my God, these crit fails!

Ishmael : [Laughs]

Loyal: F! [Laughs]

Taury: Jesus that's three of em. Two. No, two of them. Fucking hell.

Loyal: I don't think I saw, so.

Fenwarin: Let's just hope it's better in battle.

GM: All right.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: Fenwarin, you instantly detect and recognize that she is a priestess of Lamashtu. 

Taury: Awesome.

Fenwarin: Oh.

GM: Markus, you get that same information. Morana, priestess of Lamashtu. Ishmael? 

Ishmael : Yes?

GM: She's not only a priestess of Lamashtu-

Ishmael : Oh?

GM: She has literally given herself body, mind and soul to Lamashtu and is being converted into a demonic beast.

Loyal: Oh, fun!

Ishmael : Cool.

Loyal: Yeah, I think this is the one we're looking for. [Laughs]

GM: And you notice the scars in her abdomen is the mark of Lamashtu, and only the favored of Lamashtu bear this mark. An ugly scar across the belly has been torn open or clawed open by a hand from the inside.

Loyal: Uh!

Ishmael : That's a-

Loyal: Uh!

GM: Lamashtu's mark identifies you, as a favored worshiper of the mother of monsters. And if it is visible, it gives them bonuses to intimidation. Because, yeah.

Ishmael : Yeah.

Loyal: That's pretty fucking scary.

Ishmael : "Cool and we're here to stop that? Or are we actually here to stop that?"

Markus : Yes.

GM: Those that bear the mark, once per day, can invoke Lamashtu's name.

Ishmael : Oh, God!

GM: As they strike their foes with melee attacks causing the creature struck to be deformed in hideous manners.

Taury: I pose that we use Markus as a meat shield for his sass in the Discord right now.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: So when she does these sacred strikes of bullshit multi-attack nonsense, he can take the damage. [Laughs]

Loyal: The inhale [Laughs]

Markus : Yeah, but- 

All: [Laugh]. 

Markus : This sort of thing's wrong!

Loyal: I'm not saying you're wrong,

Markus : And nobody's agreeing that it's wrong.

Loyal: It's just I don't like fighting in a hallway.

Taury: No, no one's saying that it's wrong, it's just a different plan.

Loyal: I understand- Yeah, like I understand you're- what you want to do.

Ishmael : We fight her! Ah, we're not all at 100%, ah, no!

Loyal: Also, we're in a hallway.

Markus : From the people that actually voted to carry on? 

Loyal: Shhh! [Laughs]

Taury: Listen, listen, y'all were chatting shit to Loyal, meanwhile, the demon was like, "Hey, I wonder who's talking shit over there? I'm 'a come over and see what's up."

Loyal: Party interrogation in the midst of a life-threatening situation.

Taury: Yeah, we could have run away, like, 10 minutes ago.

GM: All right, ah, as you spring this door back up and she has seen you, you have seen her-

Ishmael : "Hi!" and then just-

GM: Loyal, you get another one of these psychic messages, and all of you, from just through this door here, hear a intense, very, very low rumbling growl.

Taury: Oh!

Loyal: Fuck! Shit! Fucking shit fuck!

Fenwarin: Oh, great!

Loyal: And the squishy people are right there too!

Taury: Is there any way of identifying what it might be? 

Ishmael : Hmm-mm 

Taury: Before we see it?

Ishmael : I'll make a Knowledge for everything.

Loyal: Do I have time to, like, move back or is there going, or is something going to happen first?

GM: Nothing's happening. I'm just saying, you hear this from that door to the south.

Fenwarin: Yeah, we're backing up.

Loyal: Nope!

Ishmael : Cool, then, then, then we don't go through that one. Ah, what about, ah, like, I- Is this door unlocked?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael : I peek my head inside.

Taury: I don't like that all the doors are unlocked.

Fenwarin: Why? 

Ishmael : I mean, has-

Loyal: It's going to end up like a Scooby Doo situation where we're running in one door, they run after us, we go out another door.

Taury: Yeah, exactly! 

All: [Laugh]

Taury: I love it.

Markus : Markus will take a moment while people are doing stuff to cast a Cure light wounds on himself from the wand.

Taury: It looks like claw.

Ishmael : Oh, OK. It seems to be like a throne room or?

GM: It does.

Ishmael : Oh boy!

Loyal: Fucking shit fuck!

Taury: Can Taury hear anything coming from this doorway we went through?

GM: Oh yeah, growls.

Taury: No, no, the one we went through, like-

GM: Oh no! Nothing.

Taury: Where she stepped out. No? OK, 'cause that's where she's listening.

GM: All right, so your attention is still on Nualia.

Taury: It's that and the growling from the other door. Sort of both.

GM: All right, split focus going on. So-

Taury: Preparing to shoot at whatever the fuck walks in either of those directions, basically.

GM: [Laughs] Right. This barren room contains an unpraised dias, on which sits a marble throne. To either side, stand statues of a man clutching a book and a glaive. A ghostly figure seems to be seated in the throne, an image of the same man who appears in the statues. He seems to be addressing an audience as he moves his hands about, his fingers decorated with hooked rings. But the words issuing from his phantom mouth are difficult to make out and in a strange language.

Ishmael : Ah, linguistics? Linguistics for that?

GM: Oh, it's Thassilonian.

Markus : Oh yeah, I was going to say, two of us will speak that.

Ishmael : Yeah, yeah, OK. So, what is he, what is he, what is he jiving about?

GM: His spoken words repeat the following message over and over: "...Is upon us, but I command you remain. Witness my power! How Azlant's petty wrath is but a flash compared to my strength. Take my final work for your graves and let its memory be the last thing you- ...Is upon us, but I command you remain. Witness my power! How Azlant's petty wrath is but a flash compared to my strength. Take my final work to your graves and let his memory be the last thing you-"

Ishmael : Cool, I-

GM: "...Is upon us. But I command you-"

Ishmael : I close the door.

GM: "-Remain." 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael : OK, so, ah, spooky, ah, spooky ghost man's, ah, speaking, you know, on a loop. So an old illusion.

Markus : A final message.

Ishmael : Yep, yep. Like, he'll, he'll quickly recite what it's repeating over and over and over again. And I go, like, "But, ah, if anything we can hide in there I guess, or through here I guess." Like before Ishmael opens up, you know, this door, or tries to, um, he'll cast a spell on himself.

Markus : "Are we really doing this?"

Ishmael : "Doing what?"

Markus : "Leaving."

Ishmael : "Wouldn't so much call it 'leaving' as in trying to figure out a place as to not die right now so that we can come back and finish this."

Loyal: "Rather not fight in a narrow hallway."

Taury: "It's repositioning, Markus, repositioning."

Markus : "If you wanted to rest and recover, the place to do that was before we alerted everyone to the fact that we were here, hiding behind a secret door."

Taury: "I'm sorry 'we' didn't alert everyone."

Markus : "As a group, we did."

Loyal: "All right, can we not fight right now?" 

Markus : "Fine."

Ishmael : Yes, um, so, right, um, I peek my head through this door.

GM: You see a tea shop.

Loyal: Oh my God! [Laughs]

GM: There's a couple of people inside.

Ishmael : I, ah, "Fuck it!" I shoo everybody inside, just like in-

Loyal: He just pushed me in.

Ishmael : Yeah, and then, just like, if Taury is just, you know, being, a, you know, just, kind of, nudge her and just point to the door just, "Through there now!"

Taury: Hesitantly, she will go in there.

Ishmael : And just-

Taury: But there's a pause,

GM: Perception check, Taury.

Taury: Great.

Ishmael : "Tea shop! Tea shop's better than dungeon!

Loyal: Hey!

Taury: Hey! 26.

Loyal: Nat 20, nat 20!

Taury: I'll take it! [Laughs]

GM: All right. You see through these doors down this way where the growling is coming from, a large hunched bestial figure, as the last moments of your Detect fiendish presence are still up. 

Taury: OK. 

GM: It blinks out and you notice a little sign on the door you're being pushed through that says "Felix's Tea Shop".

Taury: Great.

Loyal: Fucking knew it!

Ishmael : Cool, ah, yes, ah- 

Loyal: There you go. 

Ishmael : "Like is everybody in?" And Ishmael just slamming the door behind them and then just sigh.

GM: You enter the tea shop, you see two patrons, one in all red robes, another dressed all in black, carrying a scythe. They're both sitting nonchalantly at one table, sipping tea. And behind almost the same counter that you encountered him before, is Felix. A, what looks like a human child with a bowler hat, sitting behind this kiosk-desk thing. As you all come through the door he goes, "Hey, look it, hey, no, not you". He points at Ishmael, "I don't serve your kind."

Ishmael: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Loyal: Fuck!  

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Like Ishmael will look at like and, it's maybe like, "Ah, sure, but, ah, right, we'll deal with that in a moment. I need a moment then I guess I'll leave. But, just, like we'll just- Yeah."

GM: "You'll wait outside or you'll die."

Ishmael: In, like, a Sense motive? Fuck, fuck it- 

Loyal: [Laughs] It's like he's serious, but-

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just-

Ishmael: 12? Fuck it! Umm-

GM: He's not threatening you, he's telling you a fact.

Ishmael: Wait a minute, what, what? Oh-oh. Hold on. Um...

Markus: "Oh!"

Ishmael: Like, ah-

Markus: "Ishmael, you, you need to leave now."

Loyal: "So we're just going to send him out there with whatever the fuck it-?"

Ishmael: "So, either death in here or death out there? Ah, it's-" 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Yeah, death or death?

Fenwarin: Oh God!

Taury: Cake or death, cake or death?

GM: He makes a very subtle gesture to the gentleman sitting at the table. "They will destroy you if they find you. You need to leave."

Ishmael: Well, Ishmael's attention will, will fall upon the two seated, drinking tea. A Religion, Local, anything?

GM: Religion.

Ishmael: That'll work, OK. 25.

GM: The one dressed in black is also adorned with vials of holy water and silver chains.

Ishmael: Oh!

GM: He's baring a blatant symbol of Pharasma.

Ishmael: Oh! Mmm, yeah.

Taury: Wearing a T-shirt that says "not a fan".

Ishmael: [Laughs] Ah, right! "Ah, do you have, like, a backroom because I can't go out there! Like-" 

GM: He points to a, like a curtain behind him and he pulls it aside, "Yeah, you can go in there." Behind that curtain, you see a shop that's just shelves overstuffed, filled with all sorts of items and stuff.

Ishmael: Yeah, I just, like, as suddenly and just like quickly, and just dive in with yeah, just "Ahh!"

GM: "Don't touch anything."

Ishmael: "I- I- Sure." [Laughs] 

GM: He closes the curtain.

Taury: [Laughs]

GM: "So, tea?"

Markus: "Yes, thank you, Felix. That would be lovely right now."

Loyal: "Sure."

Markus: "I think some time to recover our nerves is just what we needed."

GM: "How do you know my name? Oh, that's a stupid question. Of course you know my name, I'm famous!"

Taury: "It's written on the door."

GM: "Is it?"

Markus: "Yes." 

Morana: "It was, yes."

GM: He looks at the door, "There's nothing written there."

Markus: "On the other side."

GM: "I've never seen the other side."

Markus: "No, you wouldn't have." 

Morana: "I have a lack of shock."

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Markus: Umm, Markus will pull out, a wooden coin. "I got this last time we met."

GM: "Hmm-mm?"

Markus: "So, of course, we recognize you."

GM: "Yeah, that looks like one of mine."

Markus: "Yes," and he'll put it away again.

GM: "Who gave that to you?"

Markus: "You did."

GM: "Oh. Interesting."

Markus: "You don't remember that?"

GM: "Of course I do! I'm a genius."

Markus: "Right. OK."

GM: "Have a seat."

Morana: Morana slides into a chair. She is-

Loyal: Loyal will go and sit down as well.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, Markus will. 

Morana: Her glance keeps cutting over to the apparent Pharasmite and then looking away again.

GM: The Pharasmite shifts his feet from off of a chair that he was using as a leg rest and sits up, "Ay, you keep looking at me. What do you want? We're going to have a problem?"

Morana: "No." She goes back to, pulls out a piece of paper and just starts writing.

GM: "Hmmm, see this, Red? I'm being disrespected." The man, all in red cloaks, just shakes his head, 'no', keeps sipping his tea. "Whatever", and he goes back and props his legs back up on a chair.

Morana: After, Morana looks up at Felix, "So, you have a recommendation on tea?"

GM: "No, I don't drink the stuff."

Morana: "Ah-huh."

GM: "Now, if it's coffee you want, yeah, I got some great java beans."

Morana: "Oh, then what do you recommend for coffee?"

GM: "Ah, probably the mint tea."

Morana: "Very well then, I'll have one of those."

GM: "Excellent choice! Everyone else?"

Loyal: "I guess I'll have the same."

Markus: "That sounds lovely. Thank you."

Fenwarin: "Yeah, thanks."

Taury: You just get a grunt from Taury.

GM: "Wonderful. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Taury: Taury is going to whisper to Markus, "You've been here before?"

Markus: "This is Felix."

Taury: "And who's Felix?"

Markus: "You don't remember?"

Taury: "I've never met this man or thing, whatever it is."

Loyal: "She wasn't there the first time."

Taury: "No, why, when, what, when, when, when did you meet him?"

Markus: "After the mephit, the Old light."

Taury: "I was making my way out after we killed the mephit."

Markus: "Oh! Ah." 

Taury: "So what, you stayed and had tea with this thing?"

Markus: "No, it was a shop then."

Taury: "Right."

GM: Felix picks up his mithral lute and begins playing some of the most beautiful lute music you've ever heard in your life. He stops and goes, "Oh, no, that's not right," as if he's made some sort of mistake. You're unaware of it.

Markus: "Assuming we're where we were last time, we're, we're in the night market."

Taury: Out of character: would Taury have any idea what that is?

GM: Knowledge planes.

Taury: Ah, I'm not trained in that, and it shows.

GM: Yep, no idea what the night market even is.

Markus: Furtive, knowing about Felix, would that be Nature or would that be Planes?

GM: Knowing about Felix?

Markus: Yes, specifically, I want to try and work out a very specific thing. 

GM: Ah-

Taury: Is he edible? [Laughs] That's a joke. I don't actually want to know that.

GM: Ah, that would be Planes. 

Markus: OK.

GM: OK. You gain no new information.

Markus: Oh, OK.

Taury: "The night market? And what's a night market?"

Markus: "OK, well, let me be a little more direct, we're visiting the fey right now."

Taury: "Right."

Markus: "Is that enough explanation, or-?"

Taury: "It would seem that's probably the best I'm going to get at this point."

Markus: "Do you want a technical explanation of how we managed to get into what I believe is some sort of pocket dimension?"

Taury: "No, you know what? I'm just going to leave it there, Markus. Thank you." 

Markus: "OK." 

Taury: And she sips the tea, just rolling her eyes.

GM: It, it is some of the most thick and bitter coffee you've ever tasted.

Taury: Is it worse than the thing from ah, what is it? The Hagfish? That horrific drink?

GM: No.

Taury: Is it worse than that?

GM: No.

Taury: But it's unpleasant? Great. She probably finishes it, pretending to enjoy it, but absolutely hating it.

Markus: It's very bitter, but is it well blended or is it not?

GM: Yeah. 

Markus: OK.

GM: Yeah, it's just, like, some of the darkest roast, like, imaginable.

Markus: Right. OK, got you.

GM: Like, Colombian style, like so black that it's just- It is the strongest coffee you've ever had.

Loyal: Oh, we'll be nice and awake for this fight.

Taury: The coffee tea. [Chuckles]

GM: Yeah. All right, Ishmael? 

Ishmael: Yes?

GM: Back in the shop, what are you doing?

Ishmael: Looking around. Firstly, like, ah, a Planes to figure out where the f-, where the hell I am? 

GM: Sure. 

Ishmael: Yeah, cool. 20.

GM: Yeah, you recognize this place.

Taury: It's a cupboard. [Laughs]

GM: Yeah, you're in the witch market. 

Fenwarin: A cupboard? [Laughs]

Ishmael: The witch market is?

GM: The witch market is a traveling planer market that never actually moves, but is never in the same place twice.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: It is between the realms of the material and the fey.

Ishmael: [Sighs] Ishmael, just like-

GM: It, it is like a gateway or a side dimension that's very first world adjacent and inspired, but not quite there.

Ishmael: Ishmael will relax, you know, considerably and just have a smile on his face, just- He'll start looking around the shop, just looking at various things, anything that strikes his interest, or his eye.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Yeah, doing exactly what he was told not to do. So.

GM: Mm hmm. Yeah, this shop has everything you could ever possibly want, but the prices are fey prices.

Ishmael: It's fair, I mean, well, interesting. But fey prices? All right, umm, I start making a catalog and a shopping list.

GM: Oh, OK.

Ishmael: Yeah. But more so, like, I'm wondering if there are books or anything? Like-

GM: There are.

Ishmael: Are they the First World and everything else?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah? I start looking through them.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Not full-on reading, but skimming them to see if it's something I want or not, and then putting it back.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: Essentially, I am waiting for, you know, to be able to rejoin the party and, you know, when the threat of death, ah, leaves I guess. 

GM: [Laughs]

Taury: Literal death too.

GM: All right, back in the tea shop, anything specific happening over here?

Loyal: Loyal's just, kind of like, sipping his tea, sitting there.

Taury: Is he sipping tea sadly?

Loyal: Yeah, probably.

Taury: Taury's probably glaring at everything in the room.

GM: Yeah, it's decorated like you would expect a tea shop to be decorated.

Taury: Taury's never seen a tea shop, come on! 

Loyal: [Laughs] 

Taury: This is the first tea shop she's ever been into or seen.

GM: All right, then, this is the most girlie place you've ever been. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: So it's literal hell is what you're saying? [Chuckles]

GM: Yeah, Taury might consider it that, yeah.

Taury: Doily cloths and everything?

GM: Oh, yeah. Whole nine yards.

Taury: Great! She looks extra uncomfortable having looked around. "So, Felix, you sell things? Am I correct?"

GM: "Hmm? No."

Taury: She just looks at Markus, like, as if she was lied to. [Laughs] Like, visible confusion.

Markus: "What happened to your shop then, Felix?"

GM: "Ah, it's over there." He points to the other side of the curtain.

Markus: "So, if we were to perhaps, once we finished our tea, relocate over there, might you sell things if we were in that room?"

GM: "No, I don't sell things."

Taury: "Do you exchange things? Do you blend things?" 

GM: "Hmm?" 

Taury: "Right. OK." She's breathing deeply.

GM: "Ah, the things aren't mine, so I can't sell them, I collect a fee-"

Markus: Uh.

GM: "-for you to take them, but I'm not a merchant, right?"

Taury: "You steal things?"

GM: "No."

Markus: "Things find their way here, I think is-"

GM: "Right! Yes."

Taury: "Yes. Stolen goods. I'm, I'm with you on this."

GM: He gives an immediate and, like, dagger-like glance at the man in black, "Is that where my stuff comes from?" He just shrugs in reply, "Not me. Right? No? Yeah, not us."

Taury: "Yes, I, I know these types of places. Of course, it's not stolen, it's borrowed."

Markus: "No, this might also be things that got lost along the way and found new homes."

Taury: "Hmm-mmm, perhaps pickpocketed?" 

All: [Laugh] 

Taury: "We've all been there, Markus."

Markus: "Perhaps it fell through cracks between worlds?"

Taury: You get another eye-roll from Taury.

Morana: Out of character, "Look, they're the, the socks that disappeared out of the dryer, all right?"

Fenwarin: "Mm-hmm. That's where they go."

GM: The man in red perks up, "Is that where all my socks have been going? Have you been selling my socks, Felix?" Felix shrugs, "People want socks. Why do you have so many socks anyway? You don't need more than the ones that you're wearing."

Taury: "You see, Markus? Stolen!"

Markus: "For a given definition of the word, a very narrow definition, perhaps. But I doubt all of the items find their way directly here in such straightforward manner."

Taury: "Yes, I'm sure it's quite the upmarket place."

Markus: "Why don't you go have a look?" 

Morana: "Yes, instead of complaining, you could always browse."

Taury: "Not complaining, just observing."

GM: "Anything you need is in there, ah, but that's the catch. You'll only be able to afford what you actually need."

Taury: "Right." She gets up reluctantly and goes over to the shop that's not a shop, but is a shop [laughs] and peruses.

GM: "He he."

Ishmael: The chuckle, just, so good.

GM: Felix follows you in and then sits at that side's kiosk-

Taury: Of course he does!

GM: -with his lute and plucks away while you are perusing the shelves. He leans back through the curtain, "Red, don't kill them!" and then returns to his seat, watching you in the shop that's not a shop, but is a shop.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Hmm-mmm, that's what it says on the sign too, the newly appearing sign.

Morana: I know we got a description of the Pharasmite, did we ever get a description of Red?

Taury: I don't think so.

GM: Mmm, not clearly, no.

Morana: Ah, let's take a little closer of a look here.

GM: All right, as you turn and study them both a little bit more, the man in black kind of looks like John Lennon a little bit. He's got, like, these circular pink-tinted glasses that are down at the end of his nose.

Taury: Rose-tinted, you could say?

GM: Yeah. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Oh.

GM: He's got, like, the long brown hair and whatnot, despite wearing all black and silver and Pharasmanish garb. His friend, dressed in red, is kind of shorter, blond hair. Looks somewhere like, like a young human to maybe a young dwarf, but doesn't have a beard. Definitely not dwarven, just kind of short.

Morana: Is he wearing any kind of symbols, markings, anything like that?

GM: No. No, his clothes are just predominantly red.

Morana: I see.

GM: He does have, like, boyish features about his face, like, he looks young, not as young as Felix looks. But you can tell, out of the three of these people, Felix, the man in black and this man in red, the man in red is probably the youngest of the three.

Morana: Eventually, Morana will finish her coffee and move over to the other side of the curtain.

GM: After you leave through the curtain, the man in black will lean over to the man in red, "I think she digs us, she kept staring. Think I got a shot?"

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: The man in red will reply, "Eh, not you. Maybe me, but not you."

Morana: Perception check. 

All: [Laugh]

GM: Yeah, you hear that as a whisper, as you're passing through the curtain.

Taury: Oh, somebody's going to get fucking Karen slapped. 

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Morana: Morana steps through the curtain, just rolls her eyes and mutters to herself, "Bloody Pharasmites!" 

GM: "Bloody indeed!" Felix chimes in.

Morana: "I know, right?"

GM: "Can't pick your friends!"

Morana: "Tell me about it."

GM: "Well, when fate decides to give you a friend, there's nothing, nothing you can do to stop fate from sticking you with this person that will be there for the rest of both of your lives." 

All: [Laugh]

Morana: "I'm quite aware."

GM: "Well, then why'd you ask me to tell you about it?"

Morana: "Because sometimes you can only hope that fate makes the time short."

GM: "Oh. Well, if you want to make time shorter- No, never mind, continue."

Morana: She just shakes her head and starts walking around looking at things.

Loyal: Ah, I'll probably follow then. I'll head to the shop, seeing as people are migrating that way.

GM: So that leaves then Markus out in the tea shop with these other two alone?

Markus: Mm-hmm, yeah. He's taking his time with the coffee.

Morana: Damnit, I was just going to say that. [Laughs]

Taury: Yeah. [Laughs]

GM: The man in black's going to stand up, walk over to your table, flip a chair around, sit in it, lean his arms over the back of it while he's talking to you. Be like, "Hey. So ah, what's with your group?"

Markus: "That's a rather broad question. And are you interested in the group as a whole or in specific people?"

GM: "Hmmm. The group as a whole."

Markus: "We- Hmm. We appear to find ourselves in this place when we need to."

GM: "That wasn't what I asked." 

Ishmael : [Laughs]

Markus: "Then maybe you should have phrased your question better?"

GM: "Maybe you should listen to people?" 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Holy fuck! [Laughs]

Taury: Markus is going to kill them both and we're going to get such a plot twist. [Laughs]

GM: "I'll repeat it for you since you seem confused. What is with your group? You came in with an extra thing."

Fenwarin: Oh ho ho!

Markus: "Ah! Sorry, you're being too literal. Given where we were-"

GM: When you say 'literal', he just looks back at Red and then looks back at you.

Markus: "I was assuming you were talking metaphorically?"

GM: "No."

Markus: "As in-"

GM: "No, if I was going to talk metaphorically, I'd be like, 'Hey, if I killed one of your members, would you be upset?' That's a metaphor!" 

Markus: "Hmm." 

GM: "No, it's not," Red pipes up, "that's not a metaphor!" 

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: "Hypotenuse, no, not a hypotenuse. Whatever! Just shut up. Leave, leave the guy drinking his tea, coffee, whatever Felix gave him!" He ignores Red and just keeps staring at you, waiting for an answer to his original question, not the metaphor question.

Markus: "Suffice to say, in this place, I am very cautious about what I choose to share."

GM: "Yeah, that's, that's probably smart." 

Markus: "Hmm." 

GM: "Dumb, but smart."

Markus: "Well, let me put this more bluntly, appearances can be deceptive. We haven't met before."

GM: "You're right, we haven't", he pushes his glasses up his nose, looks you in the eye. I need a Will save.

Markus: OK.

Fenwarin: Woah!

Loyal: Rest in peace.

GM: All right, you now feel like this man is one of your best friends you've ever had in life.

Markus: Ok, and there was no actual spell casting?

GM: No.

Taury: Oh no!

Markus: Oh, OK.

GM: "So, friend, what is with your group?"

Markus: "What do you want to know?"

GM: "Your extra member?"

Markus: "Yes?"

GM: "Do you know anything about him?"

Markus: "Not really, other than, well," Markus will glance around, "he's an adventurer. He seems to be-"

All: [Laugh]

GM: "Yes, he might have been." 

Markus: "He seems to be, somewhat, um, how can I put this? Mad. I suppose all of us go by that-"

GM: "Yeah?"

Markus: "-to some degree, but ah, he fell in with us and just willingly came with us on a life or death mission without really knowing anything about us, so-"

GM: "Life or death, good phrasing."

Markus: "Oh, you know, fate of a town, uh."

GM: "Would you mind terribly if I destroyed him?"

Markus: "I think I might need him. Sorry. Plus, you know, destroying is somewhat rude."

GM: He turns back to Red, "You hear that? Destroying people's rude. You should take notes. Now, you use the term person, however, and I'm not convinced." 

Markus: "Oh?" 

GM: "If I destroy a cup, a chair or a table, I've not destroyed a person and thus it's fine. You can make reparations, you can pay for that damage, so how much will it cost for me to destroy your companion?"

Ishmael : Ooh!

Markus: Markus definitely looks somewhat nonplussed by that. "You equate a living, breathing, thinking, let's avoid the word-"

GM: "Living, breathing, thinking? OK, there's qualifications here so far."

Markus: "I was going to say 'person', but you don't seem to be applying that particular, and you're equating that with an object?"

GM: "I don't have enough information to dispute the 'thinking' aspect, however, 'living' and 'breathing', I can quantifiably say no."

Markus: "You certain?"

GM: "Quite positive."

Markus: "Oh, yes, that would be the problem, wouldn't it?" And out of character, I need to DM our GM something. 

GM: [Laughs] 

Loyal: Ah.

Taury: I love that Markus is going to get himself killed.

Loyal: So elegantly dancing around the fucking point. [Laughs]

Taury: And we're all going to end up escaping. [Laughs]

Loyal: We're going to walk out, "Where's Markus?" They're like, "I don't know, he left."

Taury: "I don't know." [Laughs] Yeah, we all walk out from behind the curtain, there's just blood everywhere, but there's no Markus. There's just swords pointed at us and we're like, "Oh!"

Ishmael : "Well, we're going to go this way, you know?"

Taury: "We're going to go."

Loyal: "We're going to go this way."

Taury: And just frantically searching his shop for a secret door.

Loyal: "We're just going to- We're just going to go."

Morana: I was going to ask if any of the, the sound of this is traveling?

GM: No, you've got enough people shuffling around the shop, taking things off shelves, putting them back, and whatnot, that-

Morana: Yeah that's what figured.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Yes, sass doesn't travel that well.

Ishmael : Sass doesn't travel? [Laughs]

GM: Over in the shop side,

Ishmael : Yes?

GM: While, ah, this discussion is going on and Markus is thinking deep thoughts, what all are you doing?

Ishmael : Ishmael is, ah, darting between shelves and everything else, like a child in a candy store. Um, not really noticing anything, like, not even the music. Um, he's also, ah, not wearing his hat.

GM: Oh! Perception checks from everyone in the, in the shop side.

Taury: I knew that was coming. [Laughs]

Loyal: I really roll well. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: Interparty rolls, really good.

Loyal: Yeah-

Taury: External rolls, terrible. [Laughs]

Loyal: If they were doing anything to anyone outside of our party, we roll garbage.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: All right, so this is the first time the group has really seen you without your hat. 

Ishmael : Yeah.

GM: Give them a full description of, like, your face, your appearance, your hair.

Ishmael : Well-

GM: Is it long, is it short? All that, all that glorious stuff.

Ishmael : All right, ah, well, I mean, as normal, like, he's, he looks extremely gaunt, like ah, you know, like Fenwarin, if Fenwarin had starved for, like, you know, nine months.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael : Currently has glasses on, that are, you know, seem to be shaded or darkened. Like other than that, as for his hair, it seems to be, you know, I guess not so much long, but on the shorter side of, like, medium, ah, and a bit unkempt. The interesting and odd thing is that it's multicolored, a blue and a bit of purple there. And, you know, it angles, it seems to, you know, be different in other places.

Loyal: Fun. 

Ishmael : And, ah, like, he's not paying attention to anybody. He legit  looks like a child, happy. Doing everything that, you know, ah, Felix told him not to do. He's touching stuff, he's picking stuff up, flipping through books. And then, you know, before he finally stops in front of something, is just staring at it, moving to touch it, but not touching it, like, like hesitating.

GM: All right, so Ishmael, you're standing in front of the wand rack, and there are two wands that have just caught your interest immediately.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: A wand of infernal healing.

Ishmael: Mm-hmm.

GM: And a wand of restoration.

Loyal: Oh, full restoration?! Oh fuck! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Ahh... Both!  

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Both. Can I has both, please?

Ishmael: Both! 

Loyal: [Laughs] They cost a leg each.

Ishmael: Ah, like, yeah. I, like, I take both, and then I stare at them both, and go, "hmm."

GM: Are you checking the price?

Ishmael: I am.

GM: All right. For the wand of infernal healing, it costs a molar.

All: [Chuckle]

Ishmael: Ok. And the restoration?

GM: The restoration costs your right thumbnail. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Done.

Loyal: [Laughs] Done? No question asked!

GM: How are you going to pay for the wand of restoration?

Ishmael: Don't worry about that one. I'll deal with that in a moment, ah-

Loyal: Throw teeth! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah, um, Ishmael will ah- Ah, do I, do I- I can't remember, would I be paying to Felix or would I be paying- I imagine I'd be paying Felix, or do I just leave it where, where I picked it up?

Taury: It's a fair deal.

GM: Do you ask that out loud?

Ishmael: Like I'm wondering if there's a roll that I can make? Planes maybe?

Taury: Tis but a scratch. [Laughs]

GM: Sure, go with planes.

Ishmael: OK. 27.

GM: Yeah, you're going to need to go see Felix.

Ishmael: Sure. Cool. Yeah, Ishmael will start making his way to the counter. And approach Felix, "Sup?" And then realize, ah, probably that, ah, everybody is, kind of, standing at the front counter?

GM: Or milling about the shop in various places, yeah.

Taury: That's not how the shop works.

Ishmael: And kind of go, "Oh-oh, right," and put on hat again.

Taury: There are no questions.

Ishmael: Or a hat. And, ah, who is the closest to me?

GM: Probably Loyal since Loyal was the last one to enter.

Ishmael: Cool. "Loyal? Hi, friend." 

Loyal: "Yes." 

Ishmael: "Can I see your hand?" 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Say left or right Furtive.

Loyal: Why?

GM: Right.

Ishmael: "Right, don't worry. You need this, and there's a price to be paid."

Loyal: "I am aware with how this shop works, can I see the price?"

Ishmael: Just, like, will hand it over, "Just, here, well, your right thumbnail."

Loyal: [Sighs] "Fine."

Ishmael: "Do, do you remove it yourself or do you wish me to do it?"

Loyal: "I don't think I can will myself to remove it. It's hard- it would be hard to fucking rip off your right thumbnail!"

Ishmael: "I mean-"

GM: "Oh, no, no, you misunderstand. Just tell me if you're going to pay the price."

Loyal: "Sure. Yes, I will."

GM: "All right, the wand is yours."

Loyal: I look at my right thumb. [Laughs]

GM: It now no longer has a thumbnail, there's no thumbnail well. You realize instantly you'll never have a right thumbnail ever again.

Loyal: Cool! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Ah, yeah.

Loyal: "I mean, it's one less nail to clip."

GM: Ah, as, as you're gripping the wand now, it feels really weird because you're losing that, like, the, the backing, the stiffness of grip for your thumb. It just feels really squishy and extremely odd. Have you ever lost a fingernail or a thumbnail?

Loyal: No.

GM: All right. It's a very strange experience. Like, if you trim your fingernails back too far and you know how, like, you try to pick something up and it's just your fingertips a little extra soft- 

Loyal: Yeah.

GM: -than before you had trimmed your fingernail?

Loyal: I think so, yeah.

Ishmael: You don't have that pressure.

Loyal: Fun!

GM: Yeah,  it's like that for the entire thumb, like, fingerprint area, not just the tip.

Loyal: He's now standing, like, pressing his thumb against stuff because it feels so weird, just like "What the fuck?" 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: Just like at the back of his left hand, just like "It's fuckin- OK."

GM: There is a gigantic, like, ear-to-ear smile on Felix watching you do this.

Loyal: [Laughs] He's a fucken asshole!

Taury: [Laughs] He's the best!

Ishmael: Yeah, like, Ishmael will look at Felix and go, "Ah, so, thinking about this one, unless you've got something better?"

GM: "Better?" 

Ishmael: "Hmm." 

GM: "Hmm, for you?"

Ishmael: "Yes."

GM: "Yeah, I might."

Ishmael: "Oh. Do tell?"

GM: "What are you willing to pay?"

Ishmael: "What are you willing to offer?"

GM: "Smart boy." He reaches under the counter and pulls out a necklace, a black leather strap, dangling from it, a smoky crystal.

Ishmael: "Ooh, I see. And the price on this one?" 

GM: "Hmm".

Ishmael: Like, Ishmael is tilting his head, looking at him, staring at him, just-

GM: "Well, for most I would, I would say take my hat, but no, that's not a price for you."

Ishmael: "Not at the moment, no." Like, ah, Ishmael, if, if, yeah, like, Loyal would see it, like, he's got, like, this almost creepy grin on his face.

Loyal: Ha. Fun. 

Ishmael: "So, well, if it's not the hat then what else is it? Or do you want me to make an offer?"

GM: "What is your best offer?"

Ishmael: "Well, let's see. I offer, hmm, sight into my adventures?"

GM: "Hmm."

Ishmael: "You do seem awfully bored? Distracted? Yes."

GM: He licks his lips. "It's not much of a price, but I am willing to accept it. May I meddle in your adventures as well? Hmm?"

Ishmael: "Hmm. Meddle how?"

GM: "Oh, sight only is just so boring!"

Ishmael: "It's quite- Hmm, you're right, though. It is, you know? Like, seeing everything that you want, but behind, you know, a window you can't open."

GM: "Like a cat longing to chase the birds just out of reach."

Ishmael: "Longing to feel the breeze again. Ah. Yes."

GM: "Done." 

Ishmael: [Laughs] 

Loyal: "Oh no!"

Ishmael: "You know, from one soul to another?" Like, ah, Ishmael will, ah, extend a hand to shake on it.

GM: He'll shake your hand and then hand over the crystal.

Loyal: You just fucked yourselves in unforeseeable ways.

Ishmael: Mm, have I though? Ishmael, will, ah, will put it on.

GM: "Do not try to keep a boring life, will you?"

Ishmael: "I mean, a boring life is so terrible. Oh."

GM: "Yes, and now that you have a way to take more risks-"

Ishmael: [Laughs] 

Loyal: Oh. 

Ishmael: "So much fun. Oh!"

GM: "I look forward to this arrangement."

Ishmael: "I do, too. Ishmael, by the way."

GM: "Mm, Felix. And the man looking to try to murder you, as we speak, is Nim. You should probably leave by this door and not that one."

Ishmael: "It's- Hmm, thank you. Um, yes, ah, better companion though." Like, Ishmael will, like, peek behind the curtain to see what's going on in there, so just like-

GM: You see Nim, now that you have a name to the man in black- 

Ishmael: Yes? 

GM: -sitting on the chair backwards talking to Markus. They seem to be in a deep conversation, but every once in a while, Nim will turn and look at Red and then back.

Ishmael: "And Red is?"

GM: "You know, I never knew his name. We always just call him Red."

Ishmael: "That's fair."

GM: "It matches his robes and the color of the fire that he likes to throw all over the place all the time."

Ishmael: "Fire is always annoying."

GM: "Yeah, he's the most dangerous of my companions." 

Ishmael: "Oh." 

GM: "Even though he doesn't seem like it. Probably the most unstable as well, and that's saying something!"

Ishmael: [Laughs] "That's fair. I mean, seems you didn't lead a boring life, you know, early life, I guess. Earlier life? Passed?"

GM: "Oh, before I was cursed to be here forever."

Ishmael: "I'm so sorry for that. Yeah."

GM: "Yeah, well, that's what happens when you draw most of the cards from a deck of many things."

Ishmael:  "Hmm." 

GM: "Half the deck I drew, only one bad card got drawn."

Ishmael: "Relief or regret?"

GM: "Oh, a bit of both."

Ishmael: "Hmm. Would you do it again?" 

GM: "No." 

Ishmael: "Fair."

GM: "Well." 

Ishmael: "I mean-" 

GM: "Maybe once."

Ishmael: "Sure not twice?"

GM: "It became an addiction and that was the problem."

Ishmael: "But, well, you know, that's the problem with trying to make things interesting, you know, fall into so many places."

GM: "Yeah, it- But when it's forced on you, it's not as enjoyable."

Ishmael: "No, I like the freedom of my own choices."

GM: "Yeah. And that's what an addiction is, it's the lack of choice. It wasn't a willing draw, it was a compulsion."

Ishmael: "Yeah. A lack of choice is so dull. Well, cool, so I know not to go that way, ah-"

GM: "Hmm, yes."

Ishmael: "The chances of us being a regular companion without having to confront Nim?"

GM: "Oh, easy!" He just leans through the curtain, "Nim! Leave him alone! Markus, your group's leaving. It was Markus, right?"

Ishmael: "Yeah, I think. Ah."

GM: "Yeah, that one. The one not the other two."

Ishmael: Yeah, like, hold up. Wait, wait, ah, Ishmael will look back at the rest of the group and just kind of mutter, just, like, to himself, just, "Ah, yes. It was Markus I believe, yes. It's going to be a while since I'm in a place like this again, sadly."

GM: "Hmmm, we'll see. Or time will tell. [Chuckles]"

Ishmael: [Laughs] "Ah, it's a good one, but, you know, time's a funny thing like that. Moves and- Doesn't move in a straight line. Anyway, um, yes."

GM: "And it has no meaning for those with no age."

Ishmael: "It's fair. I mean, we get so bored and I'm so sorry that you stuck here though."

GM: "Yes."

Ishmael: "I guess that's the reason why you look like that."

GM: "Partly. No, it's not dull here, don't worry." 

Ishmael: "That's good." 

GM: "Inconvenient, yes."

Ishmael: "I bet. Insufferable at times, right?"

GM: "Yeah, oh, yes, yes. It's not a life I would choose, but it is a life."

Ishmael: "Yeah, it's kind of like wandering around, you know, there, and longing to be home, right?"

GM: "Hmm"

Ishmael: "Hmm. I miss home." You know, Ishmael will, like, kind of sigh. Right, I guess, do they- "Do you guys need anything from here before we leave or?"

Taury: And Taury nods.

Loyal: "I think as far as our needs currently, this wand will suffice," and I, kind of like, wave the restoration wand.

Ishmael: "Yeah, well, I mean, well, that's what you needed. What does everybody else need?”

Fenwarin: "Nothing is pressing for me at the moment."

Taury: "I think that's what most of us needed."

Fenwarin: "Mmm-hmm." 

Ishmael: "That's fair." 

Morana: "Yes, I cannot think of anything at the moment." 

Ishmael: "Fair."

Taury: "Perhaps another fingernail?"

Ishmael: "Well, I mean, pretty sure you could find one."

Loyal: [Laughs] That'd be pretty funny.

Taury: Yeah, she's laughing.

Loyal: My face says, "Is Loyal's fingernail now on one of the shelves?"

Taury: And, like, she's looking at Loyal when she says it! [Laughs]

Loyal: He just gives her a look back like, 'Haha!'

Ishmael: "I mean, fingernails aren't needed. I mean, it's not like you lost a hand! Hands aren't always needed. Right, anyway, right. Yes."

Markus : By this point, I'm assuming Markus will have been making his way into the shop? 

GM: Sure, sure.

Ishmael: No, you do whatever you want.

GM: All right, Markus, you see them, ah, they've purchased two new wands, and it looks like Ishmael is now wearing a brand new crystalline necklace. Or a necklace with a crystal. Crystalline necklace is different, I guess, technically.

Ishmael: Ah, semantics.

Markus : Is Ishmael still wearing the necklace that we found before?

Ishmael: Talk about the natural armor necklace?

Markus : Yeah.

Ishmael: Yes?

Markus : Yeah.

Ishmael: He's removed it.

Markus : Ok. Well.

Ishmael: "Oh, who needs this? But we'll deal with that later. Ah, you should probably use that wand to fix everybody else up."

Loyal: Yeah, that's correct. Ah, it's on my spell list so I can use it. How many charges does it have? It's a wand of restoration, yeah? 

GM: 50. 

Loyal: Oh-ho! 

Taury: Nice. 

Fenwarin: Wow.

Taury: Any of those charges cursed?

Loyal: That's the question. 

GM: No. 

Loyal: Oh!

Taury: Hell yeah, man!

GM: You bought a non-cursed wand. Well done.

All: Yay!

Taury: It's that Ishmael-look that we have now. [Laughs] That's what it is.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: I'm just going to list in my inventory, the number of wand is 50, but that's just going to be to keep track of the charges. All right.

Fenwarin: 50 wands? No.

Loyal: 50 wands, yeah, with one charge each!

Ishmael: Yeah. Wow, what a waste!

All: [Laugh]

Fenwarin: Well, that's done, throw!

GM: All of them costing a fingernail. [Laughs]

Markus : Yeah, yeah.

Fenwarin: Well, that's done too, throw!

Loyal: [Laughs] Just carrying around some sticks!

Taury: My favorite one is like, if Loyal ever falls over when he tries to do a combat roll, all the wands will just fall out. When he fails a stealth check-

Loyal: I have to literally pick up sticks. 

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, yeah. Fails a stealth check and he's just like, "I'm sorry, guys. I'm fucken sorry"

Loyal: All right- 

All: [Laugh]

Fenwarin: We're just, like, littering this dungeon with sticks.

Taury: Yeah. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Oh, my god!

Loyal: Anyways, ah, I'll first cast it-  cast it once on myself. That's one charge, get rid of that ability damage. And then I'll cast it on Taury.

Taury: Hell yeah, man!

Loyal: And who else needs it? Ah Ishmael, yeah?

Ishmael: No, I'm good. 

Loyal: Oh, you're good? All right.

Taury: So, that gets rid of all of the minuses, yeah?

Loyal: Yep. All minuses!

Fenwarin: All minuses? Ooh!

Taury: Yeah, fuck you, minuses!

Loyal: Because it's full restoration, not lesser restoration.

Ishmael: We're getting back to full power! 

Taury: Fuck you, minuses!

Loyal: Also, I think, gets rid of some ability drain maybe?

Taury: Ah, we don't have any.

Loyal: No, but just if we ever do.

Taury: Does that count for when you get poison damage from spiders?

Loyal: Yeah, restores all points- As well as, umm-

Taury: When you try and hug spiders?

Loyal: Negative, well gets rid of negative levels. 

Ishmael: Yes. 

Loyal: Gets rid of negative levels and restores all the points permanently drained from a single score.

Taury: Yay!

Loyal: Gets rid of fatigue and exhaustion too!

Taury: We're not going to die yet.

Loyal: We have our strength.

Taury: Our survival is prolonged momentarily.

Loyal: All right, I feel like once we step out that door though, we're fucking dead.

Taury: I know, right?

Loyal: We're so fucking dead!

Ishmael: Right, I start casting, ah, Infernal healing, like, like ah, "Do you, do you think Nim will come back here and try and kill me if I take a couple minutes?"

GM: "No, I won't let him. You're a valued customer after all."

Ishmael: "I mean, in an investment, I suppose? Eh."

GM: "Yeah, I at least need to get a little bit of fun out of you first."

Ishmael: "Eh. Hope I have plenty of fun then."

GM: "Me too."

Taury: Can we keep Felix forever? 

All: [Laugh]

GM: "Hurry along, I do lose track of Nim on frequent occasion."

Loyal: "All right, ah. Let's- We should go now then, yeah?"

Ishmael: Like, like when he says that, like, Ishmael looks at the table and just, I'm imagining Nim is gone, and is just like "Ah, we're leaving now. Just. Cool. Oh, also give Nim my best and, ah-"

GM: "Oh yes, he'll love that."

Markus : "Yeah, that would be advisable. Yes."

GM: "I'll be sure to."

Ishmael: [Laughs] "Yeah, yeah, yes. You know, I figured, you know, some fun."

Loyal: Taunt the man that wants to murder you!

GM: I love it!

Ishmael: "Yeah, if you don't do that, well then, like, ah- It's kind of dull if you don't do that. I mean, where's the fun in, you know, somebody wanting to kill you if you don't taunt them? Right, anyway."

GM: Right now, Felix looks like a child on a sugar high. He's nodding, like, constantly.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Just beaming with joy.

Ishmael: Yeah, Ishmael is also the same thing, just, yes, "Oh shit! I have to leave, ah. Right!"

Morana: Morana chimes in, says, "Ah, he's a Pharasmite, no one cares about his feelings anyway." 

Ishmael: "Well-"

Markus : "I'm sure someone somewhere does."

Ishmael: "I mean, meh, it's irrelevant, they have no sway over anything of that nature. Right. See you later, Felix. Like, um, I guess, ah, onward back into 'fun'. Yeah, I think 'fun' is a good word. Right. Never a dull moment with you all, right? Yes."

Markus : "Interesting times, at least. But it is good to meet you again, Felix."

Ishmael: "Felix, no forgetting me!" Right, and then, as Ishmael walks through the door, hoping he isn't stabbed horribly before he gets through the door.

Taury: Stabbed would be better! The things that have growled at us I'm concerned about.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Taury: Then Taury follows Ishmael.

Loyal: Yep, I'll follow as well.

Ishmael: Yep, same here.

Loyal: Going to step out of that door and immediately combat's going to begin.

Fenwarin: Yep, ambushed! [Laughs]

Taury: Is it an ambush when you practically call the enemy to where you were?

Fenwarin: Maybe not. [Laughs]

Loyal: Come get us, bitch. I'm going to ambush you!

Taury: Ambush me! Do it.

GM: You return back to the hallway where you were.

Ishmael: "Ha. Right, that was, that was quite fun and good."

Taury: And Taury's, like, gesturing immediately for you to shut up and pointing at the door that was growling.

Ishmael: "Oh right! Growling door."

Loyal: The door that was growling! 

GM: The doorway that you went through, that had Felix's sign, no longer has Felix's sign on it. 

Ishmael: Yeah. 

GM: So you've not yet open this door either.

Ishmael: OK, well. I mean, I mean, Ishmael would just go, would just, like, extend a hand and just push the door open, just, while staring at the growling door.

GM: OK. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah, well, will then just look into the door of that room that he just opened up.

GM: All right. This room contains three low tables, their tops covered with a strange and chilling selection of tools, saws, long-bladed knives and objects whose purpose is not readily apparent. A strange collection of bones lays near the southern table. Too many to be one skeleton, but too few to be two.

Ishmael: Hmm, it's religion, maybe? Is there like a Knowledge fun? Or torture, Knowledge torture? 

Taury: [Laughs]

Markus : Nature to identify the bones?

Ishmael: What do I roll for the, for the, you know, the saws and everything else, the instruments?

GM: Hmm, arcane. 

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Would they be similar to the stuff that we saw used underground to torture things in the other place under the lighthouse?

GM: Similar, but not the same.

Ishmael: 27.

GM: Ishmael, you are looking at these tools and you believe that these are not implements of torture. And well, while they could be used to inflict pain, they were used more for modifying living, not harming them.

Ishmael: Ah. 

Fenwarin: Ooh!

GM: They're somewhere in between surgical tools and torture implements.

Ishmael: Right. Now Ishmael will say this out loud, "Ah-ha, oh."

Markus : Would, a Nature do anything towards identifying what these bones came from?

GM: Yes. It appears to be a humanoid of some form and it looks like it was, a man, potentially. But there were two spinal cords fuzed near the end of the small of the back where the man had two heads, one on like a snake-like spinal appendage.

Morana: "This is a, this is a, so, one being, two spinal cords, two heads, ah, joined around the small the back. That, hmm. That's spicy."

Ishmael: Would it be, would it be another Knowledge arcane to, ah, for the - what's the process called? - to modify, you know, people with these tools?

Taury: I believe it's called 'fun science'.

Ishmael: Fun science does sound fun. Um-

GM: Sure. 

Ishmael: I mean- 

GM: That is a nat 20.

Loyal: Nice!

Ishmael: It is a nat 20.

Taury: Yeah, Ishmael rolls today have been unreal!

Loyal: They've been very good.

GM: All right. You are drawn to the easternmost table.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: As you're inspecting this, this room and the stuff, you come to the conclusion that this area was used as a magical transmutation workshop- 

Ishmael: Wo!

GM: -where they were literally bending and mutating the living, magically and surgically.

Ishmael: Oh!

Taury: Fun sauce!

GM: Some of the tools were used for enhancement, some of them were used to cut away extraneous tissues and malformities that might have resulted from- 

Ishmael: Side effects?

GM: Unexpected results. Yeah.

Ishmael: Oh, great!

GM: As you're looking at the surgical tools on the table, they're all exquisitely made and would be an appraise check for them, but sitting on the easternmost table is an object that, upon closer examination, is not a tool at all. This is a silver and gold seven-pointed star. One surface is studded with nodules and blades, the other features a thin, curved handle.

Ishmael: Right. Um, well, Ishmael will step forward.

GM: You have no idea how much these tools would be worth.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Would I have an idea? Seeing these tools and that they are surgical tools, something which I am experienced in? Let's see.

GM: Possibly, roll an appraisal. 

Loyal: Hmm. 

GM: Yes. You know that these tools altogether are worth about a hundred gold.

Loyal: Nice. 

GM: Which is fairly decent.

Ishmael: I grab the thing that's caught my eye. Do I melt into a puddle?

GM: You do not. 

Loyal: [Laughs] 

Ishmael: Good.

Taury: Yet!

Ishmael: I look it over, and just be like, "Huh, OK. Might come in handy." And will, like, deposit it in backpack, I guess.

GM: OK. 

Ishmael: Would it be history, ah, history? I guess we'll do a History on it or- to try and figure out what the hell it is, like, exactly. I feel like that would work, right?

GM: You can try it.

Ishmael: 16. Ah-

GM: No, you can only guess at this thing's use.

Markus : Is this, the symbol, the star symbol - is that a familiar star or not?

GM: Oh, yeah, it's a Sihedron.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus : OK. Would it specifically be a History to identify what that thing does or what it's used for? Or would another roll apply? E.g. If it's a magical item?

GM: Dungeoneering.

Ishmael: I got that.

GM: All right. Markus, yeah, Markus, you are pretty confident that that's a key of some form. 

Loyal: Ooh!

Markus : "OK, well, let's keep an eye out for what that can open, shall we?"

Ishmael: "Oh, do we look around the throne room with the repeating ghost or do we go towards the growling thing?"

Markus : "We could search the throne room, we could go towards the growling, or we could, you know, retrace our steps?"

Ishmael: "Sure. Well, I guess the throne room first?"

Taury: "The throne room, I would suggest."

GM: Taury, have you been eyeing this door to this growling area?

Taury: One hundred percent, yeah.

GM: All right. The doors to this room are made of stone, but bear no handles. An indented outline of a seven pointed star, its shape covered by hollows and slits, graces the spot where handles should be.

Ishmael: "Hmm, I feel like we got the key for the door."

Markus : "Yes, probably, at which point if it's a locked door-?"

Taury: "Might I suggest we leave it that way?" 

Ishmael: "Fair."

Markus : "At least for now."

Loyal: "I'd agree with that, yeah."

Ishmael: "And, I guess, into the throne room? Or do we want to go back out there and try and fight a big scary demon lady?"

Taury: "The throne room, for now."

Markus : "Let's see if there's anything interesting in the throne room, at least."

Taury: "Perhaps these rooms loop around." 

Loyal: "It's possible."

Markus : So, searching the throne room for interesting things, traps, et cetera?

GM: There's nothing of any note here except the ghostly figure of the man doing his speech repeatedly.

Loyal: Loyal kind of recoils like he got punched in the gut again. "All right, let's not open that door. That is all."

Ishmael: "Which door?"

Loyal: I point at the one that needs the key.

Ishmael: "Cool."

Markus : "You all right?"

Loyal: "I'm fine. The voice wants me to open the door, let's not open the door." 

Ishmael: "Cool. Yeah, that, that, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm 100 percent OK with that."

Markus : "Then that leaves us one direction left to go."

Fenwarin: "Ooh."

Fenwarin: "Sure thing, umm. So, before we do that, I'd like to test something then. Um, which one of you guys has a Cure light wound wand?"

Markus : "Wand? I do."

Ishmael: "Hit me with it."

Markus : "You sure?"

Ishmael: "Ah, you know, relatively. Like, yes, 63 percent sure, yes."

Markus : "OK."

Ishmael: It's 5, I heal 5, right GM?

GM: Yes.

Loyal: Oh, nice!

Markus : "Right, that healed you?"

Ishmael: "Well, I mean, I didn't cry out in pain and tell you to stop did I?" He'll just smile and thumbs up, just, "yeah".

Loyal: "So that's what the necklace does!"

Markus : "Ah, something you definitely needed then?"

Ishmael: "That's how the witch market works."

Markus : "It is, yes, or at least Felix's shop. Other places in the witch market might be, um-"

Ishmael: "Well?"

Markus : "Different."

Ishmael: "Some of them, not all of them. Most of them function off the same principle. So, how was the conversation with, ah, Nim?"

Markus : "Interesting."

Ishmael: "Interesting how?"

Markus : "He seemed very certain you are not alive."

Ishmael: "Well, I mean, I'm very much alive."

Markus : "Hmmm." 

Ishmael: "I mean, I'm as much alive as you or anyone here is," like an eyebrow raise.

Markus : "Are you?" 

Ishmael: "Yeah."

Markus : I think that calls for Sense motive. 

GM: [Laughs]

Ishmael: I mean, you can-

Loyal: Ooh!

Ishmael: Ooh!

Loyal: Natural 1.

GM: Nat 1!

Loyal: Natural 1. Waa-wah!

Markus : Ah! 

Ishmael: All right.

GM: Ah, why are you disbelieving Ishmael? 

Markus : Mmm. 

GM: You can clearly see he's alive?

Markus : Yeah, yeah.

Ishmael: Ah, I sent you a whisper Furtive.

Markus : "Well, that necklace does make things simpler."

Ishmael: "I mean, no matter what, ah, what he said, what I am and what he said I am, are two completely different things. Just because I am not- well, wasn't healed by positive energy doesn't mean that I am dead. Many things that's not normally healed by positive energy, far more than you could even imagine."

Markus : "Oh, I'm sure I- I don't claim to know everything. That would be arrogance unparalleled."

Ishmael: "Yeah." 

Markus : "But he seemed very certain-" 

Ishmael: "Oh yeah?"

Markus : "-from the moment he saw you."

Ishmael: "Ah, I don't know what to tell you. Is this going to be a problem, an issue?"

Markus : "Maybe if we find Felix's shop again?"

Ishmael: "I mean, we'll probably find it again, I mean, but nah. I didn't mean so much Nim wanting to kill me, I meant trusting between all of us, I suppose."

Markus : "Trust-wise? Well, if we're going to be blunt about it, because, well, if nothing else, I find being circumspect sometimes causes miscommunications."

Ishmael: "Ah, so you're asking to speak bluntly and candid? Got ya."

Markus : "I'm prefacing a question because my normal method of adding the context first might be misinterpreted. Are you mad?"

Ishmael: "Hmm, what would you define mad as?"

Markus : "Well, for context, you just met us."

Ishmael: "Mmm. Yes?"

Markus : "And you decided to come on an adventure without really knowing any of us for something that ultimately is life or death?"

Ishmael: "Ah, life or death is such a-"

Markus : "We are risking our lives to save others from death."

Ishmael: "I mean, that could be a hang-up for some people, and well I guess I was just, kind of, wouldn't so much say in a rut, but-" 

Markus : "Ah!"

Ishmael: "Right, needed to change things, yes. I think 'change things' would be a good one. Yeah." 

Markus : "Well-"

Ishmael: "Boring, everything is so dreadfully boring, here, and well, you know, this, you know, you guys aren't."

Markus : "Thank you for answering."

Ishmael: "Yes, what? What? Oh yeah, um, sorry, I was thinking, what?"

Markus : "Thank you for answering me."

Ishmael: "Yeah, sure. As for mad, I mean, everybody's a little bit mad, so-"

Markus : "We're here risking our lives to stop a demon. Yes, I don't dispute that."

Ishmael: "Yeah. It's never dull here though, well, round you people. Anyway, right. So yes, ah, right. Shall we, ah? Shall we continue on or-?"

Loyal: "It's probably best, yes."

Fenwarin: "Yep." 

Markus : "Yes."

GM: Loyal, as these psychic screams are assaulting your, your mind of just constant, "open the door, release me, I command you servant" type stuff, you all can hear echoing from behind that door, snarls and growls and every once in a while, what sounds like words.

Ishmael: Oh, what words? Um, do I need to-  I can make a Linguistics if you'd like, or-?

Taury: Where are the words coming from?

Ishmael: Nah, I don't got it! [Laughs] I don't got it at all!

Taury: Ooh, that nat 1 though. 

Ishmael: Mmm. 

Taury: The nat 1 with a fucking +8! Jesus!

Loyal: F, F!

Ishmael: Linguistics? Sure, I can try that.

GM: Markus, Morana, both of you recognize that in between these barks and snarls and growls is Infernal being shouted.

Morana: So-? Mmm. 

Markus : Yep, yep, OK.

GM: Do any of you understand Infernal?

Taury: Uh-huh.

Loyal: I do!

Morana: I have sent you a DM.

GM: Wonderful!

Loyal: Am I speaking Infernal? Because I'm a human with Dark vision.

Taury: Same. Same, bro.

Ishmael: Oh yeah, like we all are! Humans normally have dark vision, obviously.

Taury: And Infernal! It's taught from birth. 

Markus : Uh-huh, yeah, yeah. I speak something similar.

GM: Ok, so I'll phrase this specifically this way. Those of you who understand Infernal can hear this thing shouting about being released and demanding release after 10 thousand years.

Taury: OK, how about no?

Loyal: [Laughs] Let's just not!

Taury: Can we just no?

GM: It's, it's shouting, it can sense you, it can smell you, all this stuff. Like, "You're right there just open the damn door! I'll reward you. I'll grant your wishes. I'll give you powers!"

Taury: The sweet release of death? [Laughs]

GM: "You'll be the favorite among his new subjects."

Loyal: Mm, hmm.

GM: "All shall bow and obey Malfeshnekor."

Loyal: Oh fuck, that was the name from earlier!

Taury: What name from earlier?

Loyal: The name from the book. Malfeshnekor, the thing, the demon-thing that was talked about in the journal.

Markus : That's, that was the named Barghest, I believe. I'm assuming that those of us that don't speak Infernal would at least still recognize the name?

Taury: Not if the name was spoken in Infernal.

GM: Correct.

Markus: Oh, is- Does the proper noun actually change?

GM: It depends, not always, but sometimes.

Markus: Ok, yeah yeah, it's some languages do, some don't. So-

GM: Yeah. You know what?

Markus: Ok.

GM: I will roll a percentile. High, it's 'Malfeshnekor' in this language, low, not... OK, yeah, you recognize 'Malfeshnekor' being shouted out as well, if you don't understand Infernal.

Ishmael : "Oh! That, that name! Why does that name sound familiar?"

Markus: "You, you read about it."

Fenwarin: "Oh right, yeah."

Markus: "We, we have a certain journal that mentions it, so."

Ishmael : "Right! Back at the, yeah, OK. The Rusty Dragon. Clearly, we're not letting 'em out. So-"

Markus: "Yes. Oh-"

Ishmael : "Do, do, do you want to tell him? Should I?"

Markus: "How about we just let him rage for a while?"

Ishmael : "Want to open up the statue and go out and fight 'messed up arm'? Seems like a better plan."

Markus: "Umm, yes, potentially."

Taury: "I think that's our only plan."

Markus: "Also, necklace thing? Now?"

Ishmael : "Right." Yeah, like, Ishmael will hand over the necklace of Natural armor, +1. "There you go. Don't really need it. Well, could use it, but it's not as important. Anyway."

Markus: "Wear this instead", and Markus will take off a ring and hand it over to Ishmael and then proceed to hand the necklace to Taury. "And you should probably wear this."

Taury: "Yes." She puts it on, or is he trying to put it on?

Markus: He's offering it in his, in his hand. If she goes to, to move to let him put it on, he will, otherwise he'll just let her take it.

Taury: Yeah, she'll probably just take it and put it on.

Ishmael : Ishmael will slide the ring on. "You shouldn't have. I mean, I barely know you."

Markus: "Well, if the last fight's anything to go by, you'll need it more than I do."

Ishmael : "Fair."

Taury: Ya'll, that was so wholesome! [Laughs]

Loyal: Yay. Being nice to each other now.

Ishmael : I mean, I was never not nice to him, like-

Taury: Don't ruin it. Koro, shut up! 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael : So. Uh-oh!

Taury: What 'Uh-oh?' I don't like that.

Ishmael : Um, I came here before like, is this open or is this closed? Like, can I see through it?

GM: It's closed. 

Ishmael : Oh, OK.

GM: I'm just moving the layer stuff.

Ishmael : Alright, I was like, I saw that, I was like "Oh, oh, oh!"

Loyal: Oh, oh!

Ishmael : Do we hear- Do we hear a rumbling? Ah, well-

Taury: Yeah, that happens so often where something is shown that wasn't supposed to be shown and it's just like 'take it back, I don't want to see it'. [Laughs.]

GM: Now, just, just for expediency, at this moment.

Loyal: I guess the question is, I ask the party, "Ah, do we let her come to us, or do we go to her?"

Ishmael : "Ah, well, dah- Do we know if she's still out there?"

Markus: "Probably."

Ishmael : "I mean, umm-"

Taury: "Oh yeah."

Markus: "Unless she's decided to abandon this place?"

Taury: Taury will, ah, use Detect fiendish presence.

GM: You don't detect anything.

Taury: Specifically for behind that pillar-door thing.

GM: Yeah, you don't detect anything.

Taury: Not even the weird dog thing?

GM: Oh, to the south?

Taury: Well, no, but that's not in the peripheral either, no?

GM: No, you do not.

Taury: [Laughs] I like that less than if she was there.

Loyal: She's just been standing there, the entire time.

Ishmael : Just, like, waiting bored, just [sighs].

Taury: "Well, it appears her presence is, is not there anymore."

Loyal: "And we might have an opportunity."

Ishmael : "Well, then, I guess that- I guess that answers our question if we wait for her or we go find her. I guess we-"

Loyal: "Well, she came to us last time."

Ishmael : "I guess we could, you know, like, ah, open it up?"

Loyal: "I guess that's the first step, yes."

Ishmael : Yeah, well, Ishmael will toss Loyal a coin, "Whenever you're ready?" 

Fenwarin: "Isn't going to make a lot of noise again?" 

Ishmael : "Well, yeah."

Taury: [Laugh] She's going to come back.

Ishmael : "Well, yeah, isn't that kind-?" 

Fenwarin: "She's going to come running."

Ishmael : "I guess that's kind of the plan."

Morana: "If you can think of another way through, I'm, I'm waiting with bated breath?"

Ishmael : "All ears!"

Loyal: "All right, then." And I just kind of wait for his countdown to put the coin in.

Ishmael : "Ah, 3, 2, 1."  

Loyal: "Coin." 

Ishmael : "We'll drop coin, yeah.

GM: "All right, they clank down, you hear the gears start turning, the pillar begins rumbling and sinking down slowly as again everything vibrates throughout this complex.

Ishmael : Yeah, ah, Ishmael will tell Loyal to take a step back, so Taury can step forward.

Loyal: Boo. Gladly.

Taury: [Laughs] Not without your meat shield!

Loyal: Me no front.

Ishmael : Yeah, and, like, you guys should probably not all clump in a line up.

Loyal: What are you talking about? [Laughs] It's the best.

Markus: "Yes, but I need to do something now that you've got that necklace, if you don't mind?"

Ishmael : "OK, sure."

Markus: And Markus will do a thing that you remember him doing from back at the crab pool.

Ishmael : Cool. 

Loyal: I remember that 'life hurty'.

Taury: [Laughs] Oh yeah, where he drained his life force!

Loyal: Hurts himself to heal others. [Laughs]

GM: OK, the pillar reaches the bottom.

Ishmael : "Do you, ah, do you see her running at us? She's still off in the distance?"

GM: You can't see anything, Taury.

Taury: "OK." And, ah, has this door opened?

GM: Oh yeah, it's at ground level.

Ishmael : OK, I step through.

Taury: Ah, yeah, so Taury steps through. 

GM: OK. 

Taury: And the same thing, focusing on that second door.

GM: All right, ah, yeah. She is right on the other side of the door, and the dog appears to be right behind her.

Taury: OK, so there's like an instant gesture of, like, absolute silence towards everyone behind and ah-

Ishmael : Ah, I draw my weapon.

Loyal: Loyal has taken out his Spirit share extract.

GM: Yeah, as the door opens, you can see them. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael : Ishmael draws his-

Taury: Well, she's probably gesturing as that happens!

Ishmael : Yeah, like when she gestures for silence, Ishmael draws his sword.

GM: Ah, you are instantly aware of her, she is instantly aware of you.

Taury: 'Oh, hi, Mark!'

Markus: Initiative.

Loyal: Here we go.

GM: Combat.

Loyal: Yay!

Taury: Hell yeah, man!

Loyal: Ah, fuck!

GM: OK, let's see here.

Taury: Oh boy! Wow, look at those 9s! Fucken welp.

Loyal: Yeah, 1 above 9, 10!

Taury: Oh, look at this, we're all going to die!

Loyal: Well, Morana goes first at least.

Taury: Morana is going to take that initiative to run the fuck away. [Laughs]

GM: Yeah, it's totally fine!

Taury: Ouch! That hurt.

Loyal: Oh fuck! Nat 20 on the initiative. Fuck!

Taury: I mean, it was a hound, I wasn't wrong.

Loyal: Oh yeah, it is a type of hound! 

Taury: Hmm-hmm 

Loyal: Well, she didn't get as good, but still it's not great.

Taury: She still did better than all of us, like on the lower split end.

Loyal: Yeah, pretty much.

GM: I'm excited!

Loyal: [Laughs] I'm not

Taury: I don't like that!

Ishmael : I know.

Loyal: I'm not. Ah!

Ishmael : I knew you were excited.

GM: Let's do it!

Morana: Of course you are.

Loyal: I mean, hey, she doesn't have the barghest with her, at least.

GM: So, the dog creature gets to go first. It howls. All of you can hear it howl.

Taury: I don't like that.

Loyal: Uh.

GM: I need Will saves.

Loyal: Is this a-? Oh, it's a panicked thing! OK, so in that case, ah, I believe, because of the trait I have, a negative trait, I think I get a -1 on that. Yes!

Taury: Oh-ho!

Loyal: -1 against fear affects! Oh boy!

Markus: Oh yeah, that's a point!

Loyal: If I'm correct, this is a fear effect, so this is a -1. I should apply that in the roll, that'll make it easier. Eh! I'll take it. I'll take the 21.

GM: So far Taury is the only one failing this.

Taury: Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Markus: Yeah, I'm going to be taking a penalty for this as well, unfortunately.

Taury: Which is just thematically appropriate. [Laughs]

Loyal: If 2 people who are, are fucking scared! I love it!

Ishmael : You said a, you said a Will save, GM?

GM: Mm-hmm.

Loyal: Oof! 

Markus: Ooh! 

Loyal: Eugh!

Taury: Ooh. 

Loyal: Oof! 

Taury: Yikes.

Loyal: Eugh! Big yikes!

Taury: The irony when Markus runs away this time as well! [Laughs]

Markus: Yeah, maybe.

Taury: Well, at least 1 tank succeeded.

GM: OK. And this will last for 2D4 rounds.

Taury: Oh, fuck that! I hate it.

Loyal: I'll take 4! That's fine!

Taury: Of course, literally of course.

GM: 4 rounds total, Taury and Markus.

Taury: There's a condition for that, right? 

Loyal: It's panicked. 

Markus: Yeah. 

Taury: Fucking wonderful! 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: Oh, there it is. There it is! Under- right under 'helpless'. That's comforting!

Loyal: Oh, panicked is like the worst fear state.

Markus: The worst fear ever.

GM: Yeah.

Loyal: Nice!

GM: It causes you to instantly flee in the direct opposite direction as far away as possible and can do nothing else. When you have reached your farthest point, if you cannot continue running, you drop to the ground, dropping all of your held equipment, and cower.

Loyal: Fun!

Taury: Wonderful! I hate it!

Loyal: Oh, at least we still have a front liner.

Ishmael : Oh man!

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: Until it howls again!

GM: Ah, well, it can't affect the same people more than once every 24 hours.

Taury: Oh! Well, that's good.

GM: So those that have saved, are fine. Those that failed, once it wears off, will be fine.

Taury: Great.

GM: If there were more of them, then, yeah-

Loyal: You only get one.

GM: There would be a problem-

Loyal: You only get one.

GM: Because it'd be a save for each howl. So that's its turn! Morana. Wait, what?! Oh, shit! OK, never mind, continue. 

Loyal: Oh.

Taury: I don't like that.

Morana: Ok, DC 15 Will save. I'm just going to glare at her for a minute.

GM: That's a Will save, correct? Yes?

Morana: Yes.

GM: Yes. Will save? There it is.

Morana: Ah, just barely!

GM: Yeah, but that's still a negative for what stat?

Morana: Ah, ah, let's put that on Attack rolls for now.

GM: Attack roll? So be it.

Morana: And that'll be it.

GM: OK. Fenwarin?

Fenwarin: Yep. Can I fire magic missiles at her?

GM: Yes.

Loyal: You got, like, a nice line of sight right there.

Fenwarin: OK, I wasn't sure that was going to work from here. Yeah, I'll, I'll try that. 

GM: OK.

Loyal: It still works!

Fenwarin: Ooh, yes. Ha! My god!

Taury: Has it ever failed? I don't think it's failed at all yet.

Loyal: Nope, it has not failed once.

Fenwarin: No, it hasn't failed yet! That's 22 casts now and it hasn't failed.

Loyal: Fucking hell!

Taury: Unreal! Felix lied about it being cursed, it's actually not.

Loyal: [Laughs] It's actually just not cursed.

Taury: It's just fine.

GM: OK, go ahead and roll your damage?

Fenwarin: Yep.

Loyal: Solid, solid.

Fenwarin: Oh, nice.

Taury: Nice.

Loyal: Pretty good. 

GM: OK.

Fenwarin: That's it for me.

GM: Markus.

Markus : Well, there's a light clang on the ground as he drops his shield and then he goes diving into the throne room and starts cowering behind the throne.

GM: Well, all right. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael : That's awkward!

GM: Nualia's turn. Uh, hi Taury!

Taury: Give me that sweet damage! Do it.

Loyal: Ooh! It's a +10 to hit! Fuck!

Markus : Hmm-mm. 

Loyal: That's so much damage, thank god it was a fucking nat 1.

GM: Yep. Ah, she swings the bastard sword at you and then rakes her claw at your face, both of them just barely missing, as you're trying to figure out how to get away from this hound behind her, in these split-second moments of terror while you still retain your mind. Ishmael?

Ishmael : Cool, well, welp. I guess I, ah, get into position and ready to, ah, ready to strike her when she comes out. So, like, this is all I do, I just step over to her have my sword drawn, ready to fight.

GM: Right. Ready to action to strike when she's within your reach? OK. 

Ishmael : Yes. 

GM: Taury, your turn.

Taury: Do I have to run and cower or can I just run?

GM: As sad as it is, and how antithetical it is to your character,

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: It hurts. It hurts my soul.

GM: Yeah, it is a status effect that just-

Taury: You literally have to do it? OK, cool. 

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: All right, where is the maximum I can get to? 30 is my, like, I think, not running, but I can't run because it's not straight lines.

GM: Oh, OK, so your speed is 30?

Taury: Yeah. Can I go through this doorway? I suppose that's what that would be.

GM: Yeah, you can open the door.

Taury: Do I have to?

GM: If you're able to, yeah.

Taury: I don't want to!

GM: You must put more distance between you and the dog.

Taury: Fuck this! Anyway, yeah. So I suppose, probably attempts to open the door then.

GM: OK. The door is open.

Taury: Fucking fuck this!

GM: The secret door was also left open, so he'll probably be right there. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: Listen-

Loyal: Goodbye.

Taury: I hate everything about this!

GM: You can go visit the crab again.

Taury: The crab is dead.

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: Yeah, you just, you come back later and Taury's in the helmet, just crying. 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: What the hell? I like it.

GM: Loyal, your turn?

Taury: Oh, I'm so upset!

Loyal: I will first, since I have the Accelerated drinker trait, as a move action, I will drink my Spirit share extract. So that's a thing. And, 5-foot step over to you, and tap you on the shoulder, and, as the standard action, transfer over the True strike, one of my True strike infusions. So, you have a +20 on your next attack roll. I'm just like, "All right, you got this!" 

Ishmael : Cool. 

Loyal: And that's my turn. 

GM: All right.

Ishmael : "Thanks, hype man!"

GM: Yeth hound runs forward, provoking your, ah, ready-to-action of attacking the first thing to go within your strike range.

Ishmael : Ah, sweet!

Loyal: With +20!

Ishmael : Yeah, sweet! All right, so, ah.

Fenwarin: Holy Jesus! 

Ishmael : Um, I think I hit.

Loyal: Glad I added the +20, I'm glad I added the +20!

GM: That does hit. 

Ishmael : Hmm.

Taury: Yeah, that 2 is upsetting.

Loyal: It's a 2 but +27!

GM: Yep.

Fenwarin: Jeez!

Ishmael : Yay!

GM: True strike actually helps.

Ishmael : Ah, 7 damage.

Taury: God, I wish it was 29 damage.

Loyal: That would have been nice.

Ishmael : Right, that would've been great, but- 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: Right, you attacked it, so it's going to attack you. 

Ishmael : Hi!

Loyal: Mmm! 

Ishmael : Ouch! 

Taury: Ooh!

GM: That will hit.

Loyal: Hmm.

Ishmael : Sadly, yes.

Taury: It's a sinister bite.

GM: It is, it is piercing.

Ishmael : Yes, I'm aware of that, yes.

GM: Ah, I do not believe Sinister bite does anything to you.

Ishmael : Ah, yeah, it does nothing to me.

Taury: Ah, it's all fear orientated, that fucking sucks! 

Ishmael : Yeah.

Loyal: Yay! Well, shaken's not as bad at least.

GM: Yep. You're not Good aligned, correct?

Ishmael : No, I'm not Good aligned, nah, I'm neutral.

GM: Yep, so the sinister bite doesn't do anything to you-

Ishmael : Yeah.

GM: But there is an immediate trip attempt from the bite as it hits.

Ishmael : You dick! 

Loyal: Mmm, hmm.

Ishmael : Fucken doge! Ah, fails!

GM: All right, it does not manage to drop you to the ground-

Ishmael : That's right!

GM: -as it bites onto your leg.

Ishmael : Why my leg? Why always the leg? Never mind.

GM: Well, it could be closer to the hip actually, for this dog.

Ishmael : That's fair, but either way, the leg area, like-

GM: Now that you can all get a good glimpse of it-

Taury: Everybody except Markus and Taury. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: Well, Taury saw it earlier, Markus just heard it and that was enough. So, you see an emaciated, hairless canine that has a strange air of menacing and cruelty about it. It stands about four feet tall at the shoulder-

Ishmael : Damn!

GM: And looks to weigh about 400 pounds or so.

Taury: Can we keep it?

Ishmael : Religion or Planer? Or Dungeoneering?

GM: It is Planer.

Ishmael : A 14?

GM: 14 is enough to identify a creature known as a Yeth hound.

Ishmael : That!

GM: You get one question.

Ishmael : Weaknesses?

GM: None. 

Ishmael : OK.

Taury: Naturally.

Markus : Doesn't mean you can't stab it to death!

GM: Most things don't have a weakness, you might want to ask something else?

Ishmael : Ok, sorry, ah, well-

Loyal: Resistance's could be nice.

Ishmael : Yeah, resistances, I guess?

GM: All right. To truly damage this thing, you're going to need to use silver.

Loyal: I have a silver dagger.

GM: OK. So that's Yeth hound's fun turn. Morana?

Morana: All right, so Range Touch attack.

GM: Yes. That will miss its touch. Anything else?

Morana: Nope, that's all I can do.

GM: All right, Fenwarin?

Ishmael : Yep, same procedure as always, basically. Ah, but I'm going to shoot at the hound now. Swish and flick.

Taury: Hell yeah!

Loyal: Yeah, stuff still works!

Fenwarin: Wow.

Taury: Still works!

Loyal: [Laughs] The most not cursed cursed wand!

Taury: Right? We should get it like-

Ishmael : Such a rather reliable cursed wand!

Loyal: Yeah, I know.

Taury: -gold-plated or something? Engraved.

GM: All right, you've got the attention of the yeth hound.

Fenwarin: Fuck! Of course I have.

Taury: Spoiler, it's awful. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: Markus,

Ishmael : Yeah.

GM: You continue to cower?

Markus : Yeah, pretty much.

GM: All right, good check-in. 

All: [Laugh]

Taury: This is such a dick move!

GM: Nualia.

Loyal: Ah fuck! She gets to move in now. I don't like any of this!

Ishmael : Hello there. 

Loyal: Ah!

GM: She will step there and, 'Hi Loyal'.

Loyal: Ah. 13.

GM: Does that hit Loyal?

Loyal: No, AC 15. Thank Christ!

Taury: It really is a bastard sword, am I right?

Loyal: That hits though, but for 3.

GM: All right.

Loyal: Take 3.

GM: She catches you with that clawed hand of hers and just rakes a slash down your chest.

Loyal: I was very lucky that she missed me because she needs a 5 on that sword to hit me!

GM: Ishmael,

Ishmael : Hello.

GM: It's now your turn.

Ishmael : Hello. Ah, well, I guess, ah, hmm, well, which would you like me to deal with, hype man? The claw lady or the doge?

Loyal: I think kill doge.

Markus : Oh, before that, you've lost more than, you've lost more than 5 hit points, so gain 5.

Ishmael : OK. Thank you, buddy.

Loyal: [Laughs] 

Ishmael : Alright, I go for the doge then.

GM: Markus might be cowering, but he's still helpful, dammit!

Taury: Yeah, yeah, it's true.

Loyal: [Laughs] He can still heal.

Markus : Yep.

Taury: It's true!

Ishmael : 22 to hit the doge.

Loyal: Hey, nice. Hell yeah!

GM: That hits! 

Ishmael : Ah, 8. 

GM: All right. So yeah, you do a little bit of damage to this thing, it's got a new scratch. Anything else you're doing?

Ishmael : That's, that's about all I can do. Like, unless you let me-

GM: Is it?

Ishmael : I mean. [Sighs] It's all- Hmm.

Taury: Can you 5-foot step somewhere?

Ishmael : No, I, I-

GM: Your class lets you do some other stuff.

Ishmael : I know, but I don't have that many spells left. That's the main thing. 

GM: OK.

Ishmael : Yeah, um-

Loyal: Fuck it,

Ishmael : But no, I mean-

Loyal: Use them all, it's the final boss.

Ishmael : It's fair.

Taury: All our spells got wrecked with the fucking crab.

Ishmael : Yeah, ah, I will actually use a spell.

GM: All right, let me put it this way, to help you out a little bit, as long as you have a Touch delivered spell, including Cantrips, you can use that ability.

Ishmael : Huh.

GM: Like Arcane mark.

Ishmael: Yeah, shit, all right. Did not know that. Well, damn, OK, see that-

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: See that- 

Markus : Yeah.

Ishmael: That makes me think about certain things. Anyway, ah, but, ah for the time being, umm, yeah. Umm.

GM: Do not build Zorro.

Ishmael: Got to build Zorro. God, obviously I don't have the right weapon for it! Anyway, umm.  

GM: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Umm, yes, ah, I'm going to hit the doge with a, with a ranged touch attack or a touch attack, actually. Sorry, not a ranged touch attack. 21 against his touch.

GM: That will hit.

Ishmael: All right. Ah, oh, god damn it, shit damn it, it's a 9 lightning damage, as I hit him a shocking grasp. Yeah?

GM: You deliver your Touch attacks through your sword, you roll your weapon damage as well.

Ishmael: OK, shit.

Loyal: I like.

GM: The joys of being a Magus! 

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus : Yeah, yeah.

Fenwarin: Wow. 

Ishmael: There you go, 20 damage altogether, I guess. 

Fenwarin: Jesus!

Taury: Nice.

Markus : Yeah. 

Loyal: Wah! [Laughs]

Ishmael: That's cool.

Loyal: All right. [Laughs]

Markus : Well, welcome to damage spike 101.

Ishmael: Yeah. Yeah. This is out of my element a little bit, normally I just play beatstick.

GM: Yeah, this is a beatstick plus!

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: A complicated beatstick!

Markus : The amount of just sheer alpha damage that a well-built magus can do in one round at the start of combat is really impressive.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus : But they run out of spells slots quickly.

Ishmael: Yeah!

GM: They are a glass cannon. Yes!

Ishmael: Yeah, so.

GM: All right. Taury, enjoy running away some more.

Taury: Oh, I still have to keep running? How come Markus doesn't have to keep running?

GM: Because he has nowhere left to run to.

Markus : Yeah, and fleeing the direction that lets me flee the furthest, would have involved running towards it!

Taury: Yeah. No, I got that, but still, brah, consider me fucking upset! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs] You are not taking this well!

Taury: No, no one expected me to.

Loyal: No.

Fenwarin: No, of course not. 

Ishmael: Nope.

GM: OK, Loyal?

Loyal: So, for the accelerated drinker, would you count, me being able to, like, as a move action, just being able to drink my mutagen? Or do you want to keep that as a standard action?

GM: It is a potion-like thing.

Loyal: All right.

GM: I would count it, yeah.

Loyal: All right. Move action: I'm going to drink my mutagen. It's dex, so it's 4 temporary dex, -2, temporary...

GM: Does that allow you to ignore attacks of opportunity?

Loyal: No.

GM: All right, move actions do provoke.

Loyal: All right, but this is important that I get that- Temporary to max- Jeez it's actually pretty fucking high when I drink this thing, Jesus!

GM: Yeah, attacks of opportunity happen before.

Loyal: Yes, so.

GM: Yeah, 'cause you're provoking as you do it, so. 

Ishmael: Ouch!

GM: Yeah, that'll hit ya!

Loyal: Ow! Fuck!

Ishmael: Shit.

GM: And, that misses! The yeth hound's bite misses, the bastard sword catches you clean in the ribs.

Loyal: Ow! I think that'll be worth it in the end.

GM: Dealing 12 points of slashing damage.

Taury: She's all about these chest attacks, she's trying to tear your ribcage open.

Loyal: Yeah, all right.

GM: She enjoys the torso.

Loyal: Oh!

Ishmael: Well.

Loyal: Right, in that case then, I still have another round left on this thing, so let's Standard action gonna tap Ishmael again, give you another True strike.

Ishmael: All right. 

Loyal: That's a +20 on your next.

Ishmael: [Laughs] All right! Hello doge, it is your turn next, is it not?

Loyal: That's all I do. Ah-ha.

GM: All right, ah, the yeth hound attempts to bite Ishmael and fails.

Ishmael: Ah, it's a puppy! Ah, sorry, um.

GM: Morana.

Markus : No, it's not. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: I mean, you don't, you don't know that-

GM: It really isn't.

Taury: It could be a puppy.

Loyal: It's a puppy.

GM: It can fly!

Loyal: Why? Why can it fly?

Taury: Why? Why can't it fly, you know? 

All: [Laugh]

GM: That was my confusion, I was like, "Wait, what?"

Ishmael: OK! Yeah.

Markus : Outsider? 

Loyal: Well-

GM: Yeah, it's an outsider. 

Loyal: That'll do it!

GM: Their ecology is that they like to hunt while running through the air. 

Taury: Yeah.

Loyal: Nice! Great! Brilliant! 

GM: Yeah.

Morana: Morana takes a step back. I need a five-foot orb that I can move?

GM: OK.

Ishmael: That's a- Hmm!

Morana: Just put that, just right there- 

GM: Orb? Just? 

Morana: -right there next to me.

GM: Kind of anything, huh?

Morana: Yeah, just-

Ishmael: Please let it be a boot?

Morana: Yeah, just so something to represent a cloud.

Ishmael: Cast kill cloud, puts it- puts in between all 4 squares, we all die.

Morana: Just a happy little cloud. 

GM: Here you go.

Morana: All right, everybody sees Morana, wave a hand, give a short little incantation. You see a little gray cloud just pop into existence right next to her. And she kind of waves the hand and goes floating over this way, till it reaches Nualia. Now I need Nualia to make a Reflex save as she, as she is struck by lightning for 11 points of damage.

Loyal: Oof!

GM: Oh!

Fenwarin: Ooh.

GM: 17.

Morana: Bah, god damn it! Passing the gates.

GM: But 11 points, you say? You notice that the lightning crackles around her skin a little bit, and doesn't affect her as much as you thought it would.

Loyal: God damn it! [Laughs] 

Taury: Mmm.

GM: I do need to move this for you.

Loyal: Fucking damage! Stupid fiendish damage resistances!

Morana: Yeah, it was worth a try.

GM: OK. Morana, anything else?

Morana: No, that's, that's all I can do is a standard and a move.

GM: Fenwarin?

Fenwarin: Yeah. I blast the hound again.

Ishmael: Oh! 

Fenwarin: There it is! 

Ishmael: Ah!

GM: Finally, it fails! 

Loyal: Oooh!

Fenwarin: There it is!

GM: Now, this is the first time your cursed wand has failed! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah, it is.

Taury: I don't like how excited you are about that.

Loyal: Ah, shit!

GM: Normally when you fail to activate a wand, it just fizzles. You don't lose the charge.

Loyal: Oh no!

Fenwarin: Uh-oh! You've been waiting for this! [Laughs]

GM: Yeah, I have. However, this wand, when you fail, it strikes back. You are now kicked back with a discharge as the kick from the failed spellcast strikes through you, and you take the force damage the spell has still expent.

Loyal: Nice.

Fenwarin: Oof. 

Loyal: Ow!

GM: So, go ahead and roll the damage you're about to take from your own wand.

Taury: Oh!

Loyal: Ah! That does so much!

Fenwarin: Wow!

Taury: Rolling his own damage!

Fenwarin: This is some- This is some Harry Potter Ron Weasley shit! 

All: [Laugh]

Taury: Listen, it's- At this point, it's Seamus Finnigan! It's worse!

GM: Yeah. 

Ishmael: Oh yeah, OK.

Loyal: Blowing up in his face!

Taury: Uh-huh!

GM: How do you know he didn't make this wand? Huh? 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: True.

Fenwarin: 8 damage to myself.

Loyal: OK, that's, it's, that could be worse.

Taury: It could be worse.

Fenwarin: Yeah, could be worse. Good natural 1s there. [Laughs]

Taury: We'll take it!

Loyal: We take the two 1s.

Fenwarin: Yeah!

GM: Oh, delicious!

Fenwarin: So were you also surprised that it worked so well so far? [Laughs]

GM: I was! 

Fenwarin: Yeah, me too!

GM: I figured a 33 percent chance of failure would-

Ishmael: Yield some more effect- or failures, yeah?

GM: Ye- yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fenwarin: Yeah, yep. Yeah, it failed on the 23rd cast. That's fucking amazing! 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: That's impressive! 

Loyal: That is impressive.

GM: I, I am impressed. It's finally happened though.

Loyal: You know what's going to happen now is that it's going to start making up for all the failures it should have had already.

Taury: Ya-ha. Ah-ha.

Loyal: It's going to only fail from now on. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Fail, fail, fail. [LAughs]

Ishmael: Get ready for 23 failures, buddy. 

Taury: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: Woohoo!

Fenwarin: It giveth and it taketh.

Taury: Ah, so true!

GM: All right. That's Markus and now, Nualia.

Loyal: AC is 19 now, because, because I drank the mutagen.

Taury: I don't know if 19's really high enough, but-

Loyal: It increased by 4, so.

Taury: I hate to break it to you.

Loyal: It's 20 extra percent chance that she won't hit me.

GM: Yeah, I'm, I'm looking at the options of what she can do here and-

Ishmael: Are you smiling?

GM: Yeah-

Taury: I don't like it when he thinks about it.

GM: It, it's not time yet.

Taury: Which awful thing should I do first?

Loyal: What? What is it not time for? [Laughs]

Ishmael: Well, you'll know when it's time, you'll know when it's time.

Loyal: That doesn't hit! You need a 19!

Taury: Ay, Loyal survives!

Loyal: She missed me twice there.

Fenwarin: Wow.

Loyal: Woh! Thank God, going up to 19-

Ishmael: Good timing on that mutagen.

Loyal: Yeah, glad I did the mutagen.

GM: And then, she will step out of that cloud of lightning 'cause there's no reason to stay in it.

Ishmael : Does it trigger it again?

Morana: No. 

Ishmael : Ah!

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael : Hello.

Loyal: You got your +20.

Ishmael : Oh, do I still have another +20? 

Loyal: Yip.

Taury: It's a different one.

Morana: Yeah, he tapped you again.

Taury: Yeah.

Loyal: Yeah, I tapped you. I gave you another one.

Ishmael : Right, I'm hittin' the doge!

Taury: He's got a gaping wound in his chest.

Loyal: Oh my god! [Laughs] I love this!

Taury: Ow!

GM: That hits.

Ishmael : Ah, 9 damage.

Fenwarin: Nice.

GM: 9 damage minus the damage resistance-

Ishmael : He's still alive!

Loyal: Because he's a bitch. Oh, fuck, yes!

Fenwarin: Yes!

Ishmael : Oh, sweet.

Loyal: Oh, my God, yes!

Fenwarin: Bye-bye, doggy!

Loyal: Dead.

GM: Just enough to drop it.

Loyal: Ah, cool!

Ishmael : Sweet, cool. So, if, that, that being, that being the case, can I use my move action to pull Loyal behind me? Or would that be a standard action?

GM: That would be a standard action using the Reposition combat maneuver.

Ishmael : Damn! All right. Well, I'll get you next turn, buddy.

Loyal: Oh, I can move away on my turn.

Markus: Yeah, 5-foot step is your friend.

Ishmael : That's my go.

GM: OK, Taury? Can you run any further?

Taury: Uh, No. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: So, you are no longer running away?

Taury: Yeah, isn't this the last round of that as well?

Loyal: Second to last.

Taury: Must be 4 rounds? 

Markus: No.

Loyal: That, that was the third one.

Taury: I do nothing. Move on.

GM: Loyal?

Loyal: It's a 5-foot step to there. And then I will move action, drink a Cure light wounds potion, one of the two potions I have on me-  

GM: Not into the cloud of lightning?

Loyal: No, believe it or not? 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Believe it or not, that will not be what I'm doing. Ah, and actually, let's use this: As a free action at the beginning of my turn, ah, my wounds just kind of close up as I use Spontaneous healing and I get 5 HP, as well as the whatever I'm getting from the potion.

GM: All right.

Ishmael : That's cool.  

Fenwarin: Nice.

Loyal: I still have my Standard action. Since there's no one within range, a fire's not going to do much, but I'll throw a bomb, might as well. Boop. 

GM: OK. 

Loyal: That's possible, crit? Possible. Ooh.

GM: Does, does hit, does confirm.

Fenwarin: Ooh.

GM: Yeah, so 13 points of damage. Yeah, she does not take all of that, but-

Loyal: I'd figured. It's Something, damage is damage.

GM: 8 points of damage is still 8 points of damage. Morana?

Morana: All right, I'm going to sho- Well, I'm going to move over here and the cloud is going to move one space here, and she's going to need to make another Reflex save, it's another 10 damage. She fails it!

GM: That is a failure on the Reflex save from the cloud.

Morana: Yay! 

GM: OK, Fenwarin?

Fenwarin: Yep. Can I cast Scorching ray on her without affecting anyone else?

GM: Yes. 

Loyal: Oof!

Fenwarin: Eugh! [Laughs]

GM: Yeah, a nat 1's going to miss.

Fenwarin: Well, that's that spell, OK. Going to move down here.

GM: Yeah, it hits the wall beside her.

Fenwarin: OK. 

GM: And that takes us to Markus. 4th round, you're now no longer affeared. As you finally go through that, it's now Nualia turn. OK, ah, she's going to step over 5-foot- No, not just 5-foot, she's going to come all the way over to Morana. 

Loyal: Oh. 

GM: Yeah, she's designating you, Morana.

Morana: Good for her.

Loyal: Mmm.

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Ishmael : Ooh!

Fenwarin: Jesus.

Morana: Hmm, that smarts.

GM: Yeah, she brings her bastard sword straight down onto your shoulder. That will deal 10 points of damage.

Morana: "Mmm! Well, that was just delightful!"

GM: It's now Ishmael's turn.

Ishmael : Cool, I would like to sneak in past this orb, because it's like two squares, isn't it?

GM: It, it's covering where that column was, yeah.

Ishmael : Ah, gee!

GM: You got to go through the cloud to get there.

Ishmael : Eh, fuck it, I go through it.

Morana: It only, it only strikes when I move it.

Ishmael : Oh, OK, cool bet, all right.

Loyal: It's just like a rain cloud otherwise.

Ishmael : Yeah, cool. So, I am there and yeah so I attack.

GM: Are you threatening, Morana? Do you have a weapon out in any form?

Morana: No, she wouldn't normally.

GM: OK, so you will not get flank currently.

Ishmael : Yeah, that's OK, that's OK. I would like to spend one of my arcane points.

GM: There it is!

Ishmael : Yeah, buddy! Um, ah, let's see, ah, to...

Morana: He's beginning to believe. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael : I am. [Laughs] Ha-ha! Anyway, ah yeah, so it's now a +2 weapon, so +1, yeah. So, it's a, I attack. 21? Dead?

GM: 21 does hit.

Ishmael : Cool. I, ah say something along the lines of, "As much as she might deserve being hit by a sword, ah, try and get me instead!" I end of my turn.

GM: Final panic for Taury. Loyal.

Loyal: I will just draw my crossbow and attempt to shoot her in the back. That's a 10 to hit. Crossbow, wa-cha! Mmm, probably doesn't hit.

GM: Ah, no, it does not.

Loyal: Eff! All right, well, Move action: reload it. And that's all I can do.

GM: All right, Morana?

Morana: Morana is going to draw a dagger, and I'm going to send you a DM.

GM: Sure.

Ishmael : All the whispering.

GM: All right, Morana, what are you doing?

Morana: She draws the dagger, she just kind of points the tip at her and says, "Mmm! We've really got to watch out for, for dangerous catacombs like this", and, ah, yeah, you have a DM.

GM: Yeah, I saw it.

Ishmael : [Laughs] Yeah, uh-huh. Yep.

Taury: Yeah, and fucking what about it?

Loyal: What about it bitch? 

Ishmael : [Laughs]

GM: Ok, let's see here. As you say that, part of the stone from above her, breaks off and hits her in the head as it was weakened and loosened from the pillars quaking earlier.

Ishmael : "Imagine the look. Hmm. The odds!"

Taury: "These are old buildings, man. Could happen!"

Morana: "I told her, the catacombs are dangerous! Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place."

GM: 7 points of damage. Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yep. I was thinking about using Burning hands against her. And basically aiming it straight up north, that way it's at the max reach and it won't hit Morana, but it's, it's a cone, so it'll still hit Nualia, if it hits.

GM: Yep. It'll work perfect. 

Fenwarin: OK. 

GM: And DC 15 for half damage on a reflex.

Fenwarin: Hmm-mmm. 

Loyal: Fuck! 

Fenwarin: Of course.

Loyal: That bitch!

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: She passes the reflex, so roll your damage and then she'll take half of that, and then also resist 5.

Fenwarin: OK.

Loyal: So likely, a zero.

Fenwarin: Jesus!

GM: Oh, no, no, not 5. So, how much damage does she take?

Loyal: She takes 4.

Markus: Does your intent spell's count for that? 

Loyal: Oh!

Fenwarin: Oh, OK.

GM: So you'll add another 1? So that's 9 points total.

Fenwarin: Cool. All right. 

Ishmael : Well, well, cool.

Loyal: It still ends up being 4, but regardless. 

Markus: Does it?

Fenwarin: Ay, she's dead!

Loyal: Oh, shit! 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael : Well- 

Fenwarin: Jesus!

Taury: Well, I'm glad I could help.

Loyal: [Laughs] I was just thinking, "Glad you could join us, Taury, ah."

Taury: Hmm-mmm.

Markus: I know that feeling exactly!

Taury: It's almost like we had the same condition or something, you know? 

Markus: Hmm-mmm. 

Taury: Removing this panicked condition and if I ever fucking get it again I'm going to quit. [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs] 

Ishmael : Ishmael will put away his sword and, well, I mean, will look over at Loyal, like, "Are you OK? You got hit quite a few times."

Loyal: "I'm fine."

Morana: Morana, kind of, rubs against her shoulders, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, OK!" 

Markus: "Well, that was- What made that noise?"

Ishmael : "Ah, what noise? Oh, a hound!"

Loyal: "It's this," and I kick the dog, the dead dog creature.

Fenwarin: "And I found out my wand is cursed, so that's, that's great!"

Loyal: "Yeah, that didn't look fun!"

Ishmael : "Where, where'd you get it from?"

Loyal: I kinda look at him and say, "Who do you think?"

Fenwarin: "Yeah." 

Ishmael : "Well then obviously it was cursed!"

Markus: "We knew it was cursed, yes. I take it this was a bad curse rather than, you know, not working?"

Ishmael : "It turns out it was a very bad curse, yeah."

Markus: "OK." 

Fenwarin: "It failed and it did its effect on me instead." 

Loyal: "Oh."

Markus: "Oh, right, yeah.”

Loyal: I kind of walk over to Nualia, just kick the body once, make sure she's actually dead. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: She groans. 

Loyal: "Oh!"

Markus : "She's-"

Ishmael : "Uh? Umm."

Markus : "OK, umm. How about-?"

Ishmael : "I, I got nothing. She's- Sure." I'm going to roll a Heal, but, ah, a Heal check, but nah! 

Loyal: OK-

Ishmael : That's fair.

Loyal: Heal is my thing. Ah, not when my abilities drained though.

Markus : What would the skill be, to identify her right now?

GM: You're asking about race or ability?

Markus : Well, technically, what I want to know is, does she have Fast healing? Would that be covered by Local or would that be Planar?

GM: That would be Plane.

Ishmael : Oh! 

GM: You identify her as an Aasimar.

Loyal: Oh.

Markus : OK. 

Morana: Hmm. 

Markus : So, not racially unless she's got something from her abilities? OK.

Ishmael : I guess Ishmael will pull out rope and tie her up? "Or we just going to let her bleed out? What?"

Loyal: I kind of look at him and be like, "Is- Are we planning to bring her back alive or just?"

Ishmael : "I don't know, but it's up to you guys?" 

Fenwarin: "Maybe tie her up first?"

Markus : "Can we get her back safely?"

Ishmael : "I don't see why we couldn't."

Loyal: "That claw worries me, that she could use it to cut through any bindings we put on her."

Markus : "Yes."

Ishmael : "Well, I mean-"

Taury: "Not if we tie it tight enough." 

Loyal: "Or cut off the arm?"

Ishmael : "Or we cut off the arm? Hey!" 

Markus : "That might end badly." 

Ishmael : "Yeah"

Taury: "We could just try?"

Markus : "If we are considering her, taking her back, then let's see if we can keep her alive?" 

Loyal: [Sighs]

Markus : And Markus will cast Stabilize.

GM: All right, she is no longer in risk of dying. She is still at negative hit points, but is not dead. She is unconscious.

Loyal: "I guess first of all," and I'll just start, like, taking away her gear.

Markus : "Yeah, let's see what she had on her, make sure she's not carrying hidden weapons. Maybe a helpful journal again?"

GM: She is wearing a +1 breastplate. She was wielding a +1 bastard sword. She has a masterwork composite longbow with 20 arrows. Around her neck, she has a medallion of a Sihedron star and she has a golden holy symbol, or well, in this case, unholy symbol of Lamashtu. She has seven platinum and five gold.

Loyal: Mmm. Loyal just, kind of like, gives a big exhale, like, "Glad that's over."

Morana: "Is it though? Because let's face it, unless we go back out through the water, we need to find another way out of here."

Ishmael : "Well, I would recommend going from where she came from and not towards, you know, seeing left behind us."

Loyal: "And, I expect that we'll encounter the people that she was leading, the goblins and those 2 mercenaries. Perhaps if we show them the body of her, then they'll run?" 

Markus : "Maybe."

Ishmael : "Well, Goblins possibly, I don't know so much about the others?"

Loyal: "The mercenaries, yeah, maybe not."

Markus : "If we need the goblins to run, we need to take care of what's behind that door." and Markus will just point down the hall.

Loyal: "Yeah, that's a good point."

Markus : "As long as that thing is here, the goblins are here to stay." 

Ishmael : "Fair." 

Markus : "At least if they know about it, and I suspect they do. In the meanwhile, the armor she's wearing might be useful to someone?"

Loyal: "Yes, I expect so." What kind of armor does Taury have on?

Taury: A +1 agile half plate.

Loyal: All right then, nevermind.

Ishmael : I'm already at +1 armor.

Taury: But I'll take that fucking longbow, though!

Fenwarin: I'm going to drink a potion of Cure light wound.

Markus : Oh, it was 20 arrows with the longbow, wasn't it? 

GM: Yes.

Taury: Was anyone else taking the bow or no?

Ishmael : No, I have no need for it. 

Markus : No, that's fine. 

Loyal: No.

Taury: Sweet, I'll just swap it for the one that I have, basically.

Morana: I'm also going to need to drink one of those potions.

Taury: Does anyone else need one and doesn't have one?

Ishmael : I don't need one, I'm good.

Markus : Potion or a longbow?

Taury: [Laughs] Potion, because I have 2 potions for Cure light wounds and I don't need them at the moment.

Loyal: And, I might as well as my Boro bead now. I'm just going to use it to revamp one of my Cure light wounds extracts, so I have an extra going into another possible fight. "I'm curious why she kept this thing locked up in there. Like, maybe she couldn't control it?" 

Ishmael : "Possibly."

Markus : "Maybe? Maybe it's bound here in some fashion?"

Loyal: Maybe she was trying to unbind it? I guess we could always ask her this when she wakes up?"

Markus : "Do we want to let her wake up?"

Loyal: "That's-"

Ishmael : "I mean-"

Loyal: "It's a good question."

Markus : "Is our intent to take it back to town to face justice?"

Ishmael : "If that's what you wish?"

Loyal: "We could, or-?"

Markus : "'Cause I remember what happened to the last person we did that with."

Loyal: "Yeah, he died anyway, but-"

Markus : "In unexplained circumstances."

Ishmael : "I just want to make a suggestion, if you wish, I could kill her now?"

Markus : "Does anyone else actually care about this, one way or the other?"

Fenwarin: "No."

Loyal: "Not really, no. I mean, she's clearly evil, we know that."

Morana: "I do not."

Loyal: "I have a feeling that trial wouldn't even be necessary."

Ishmael : "I mean, or we could, you know, get the information we need from her, and then, you know, kill her?"

Loyal: "It's also an option."

Markus : "Well, she had to be staying somewhere here. Maybe that will give us the information we need?"

Loyal: "It's also possible."

Ishmael : "Then, I guess, ah, I guess we go try and find a room?" Ishmael will- Do we have her tied up already?

Loyal: Yeah, I think we did.

Taury: Yeah, presumably.

Ishmael : Then Ishmael will reach down and grab some of the ropes and start dragging her off towards the door.

Markus : Gently or not?

Ishmael : I mean, gently as you can, dragging someone. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: It's gentle dragging, you know?

Ishmael : I mean-

Loyal: Gently dragging them on the back of my horse, just tied up at the back of my horse.

Taury: Yeah, just-

Ishmael : I mean-

Taury: The knots are tied real loose, though, it's fine.

Ishmael : He would at least drag her out of the room and then probably throw over his shoulder and then just walk, walk through the door.

Taury: Which door? The door they came from?

Ishmael : Yeah. 

Taury: Yeah, Taury would just follow Ishmael.

Ishmael : Yes, and here we go. Well-

GM: Before you go into that room, this short hallway rises in a slope to the east, 5 feet from the western floor. The floor is polished and shiny, unlike the dusty floors elsewhere. A pair of stone statues depicting stern men wielding glaives, stand in alcoves north and south of the section of hallway. 

Ishmael : OK.

GM: At the eastern end, stand 2 stone doors, their faces carved with strange runes. Just past the door is a third alcove in which a partially collapsed statue sits. The top half of the statue is missing, leaving behind a ragged stump of a torso.

Ishmael : Hmm. 

GM: Wide stone ledges of red marble line curving walls in this room, which is well lit by four burning skulls that sit in each corner. Three chairs rest in the room, and both stone ledges are covered with old books, scrolls, teeth, bones, scrimshaw artwork, jars of deformed creatures soaking in brine, taxidermied animals and limbs, as well as other strange objects. To the north, a large round fountain, filled with frothy blue water, fills the room with the gentle sound of bubbling.

Loyal: Are we drinking from this one too?

Taury: Hell yeah, boys, let's fucking go!

Markus : Let's find out what it is first.

Taury: Nah, let's just drink it, brah! [Laughs] Just like last time. 

Morana: I guess Detect magic while looking at the fountain.

GM: You detect a very, very faint residue of magic from it. Like, you have to concentrate several rounds to pick it up. Markus, as you step there-

Loyal: Ah, fucking fuck shit!

Taury: Hmmm. Yep!

GM: Anyway, as you're looking at the fountain, you detect a very, very faint trace residue of Divination magics.

Loyal: Mmm. 

Morana: Oh.

GM: Markus, as you step in that area, Portcullis' dropped to seal in. 

Loyal: Ha!

Fenwarin: Ah, Jesus!

Taury: Oh boy!

Loyal: Well. [Sighs]

GM: I need a Reflex save to see if you jump out of the way before they completely drop to the ground, or if you are sealed in this cage that is dropping at you? 

Fenwarin: Wow.

GM: OK, ah, go ahead and move yourself to an adjacent 5-foot square as you make the save.

Loyal: Oh, oh, oh, oh-ho.

GM: OK. You look at this cage that has just dropped down and would have sealed you in, and as you're, like, thanking your lucky stars that you got out of the way in time, both statues on the sides drop their glaives and stab inward-

Taury: Oh-ho!

GM: -retract their glaives, and then the cage is just still there, for a few moments, and then slowly retracts back up into the ceiling.

Markus : "OK, so I guess we need to be watching out for traps now?" 

Fenwarin: "Mmm-hmm." 

Morana: Can I try a Spellcraft to try and identify the divination aura?

GM: Yes. You also notice that these skulls are on flame with continual fire. 22. You identify that drinking the water would have given you the ability to use scrying. 

Loyal: Huh! Well, that's nice. 

GM: But there is not enough magic charge in this water any, anymore.

Loyal: "Ah, she used it recently, probably."

Markus : "Yes, um, Loyal, can you do anything about-?"

Loyal: "Yeah, let me see." Ah, so is it like a pressure plate that we're looking at, I assume?

GM: Perception check.

Loyal: Oh boy! 

GM: Yup. You try to inspect the area, you can't find anything. 

Loyal: Hmm.

Morana: Are there any kind of documents in the room, any kind of writings that may say, like, who she might have been using the scrying on? 

GM: Oh! 

Morana: Or should I try and search the room?

GM: The objects on the shelves are various holy texts, scrolls, relics, and objects, sacred to the worship of Lamashtu.

Markus : So, no actual notes or journal or anything like that? 

Morana: No, I'm looking more for- more specifically for things that were written by her. In case I need a perception for that.

GM: Yeah, that'll be enough. You find scattered amongst this, like, little journal snippets and stuff. Nualia has come to consider her angelic heritage as a curse. Her silver hair, purple eyes, all symbols of this curse. 

Morana: Hmm. 

GM: Burning her father's remains in a ritual to Lamashtu has granted her Lamashtu's favor. The scar on her belly and the demonic claw, just gifts of things yet to come, rewards of promises yet to be attained.

Morana: Mmm-hmm. 

GM: She wishes to become fully monstrous to better serve her new mistress. She wears the marks of these devotions to Lamashtu proudly, making sure to always keep her midriff bare to expose these ugly scars and wounds across her belly. Lamashtu also granted her Yeth hounds, three of them, the most loyal of which Nualia keeps by her side.

Loyal: Ha! There's two more! 

Markus : Hmm-mm.

GM: And she's also been promised the ability by her patron to now birth monsters into the world from her own womb. 

Loyal: Mmm.

Markus : Of course, yes.

Taury: Naturally.

Morana: That makes sense, I suppose."

Markus : That is a Lamashtu thing. Meanwhile, I want to see if I can point out the trap for Loyal.

Loyal: "Please? Please? Oh, thank you."

GM: OK. Markus, you notice all the signs of the trap, but none of them are mechanical.

Loyal: Oh, that's magical. 

Markus : Ah, OK. 

Loyal: "Well, it doesn't look like I can do anything with that then."

GM: You know that this is a magical trap that automatically resets.

Markus : "Ah. Well, that's going to make getting through that door rather problematic. Mmm. Find anything interesting?" 

Morana: "Ah, just notes on her progress in becoming some-"

Markus : "Oh, for those that didn't see, there's a trap down the side corridor, so we might want to be careful?" 

Ishmael : "Cool." 

Markus : "Did she have anything valuable in here? Anything useful?"

Morana: "Bunch of books on Lamashtu. That's really all I found was a bunch of books and writings and things like that."

Markus : "So, no control to turn the trap off then?"

Morana: "Not that I saw. You're welcome to take another look?" 

Markus : [Sighs] "Yeah. Well, Loyal apparently can't do anything to it, um, because it's magical, so might as well." 

Loyal: "Unfortunately." 

Markus : Yeah, I will cast Heightened awareness first. So, searching the room.

GM: OK. What are you looking for?

Markus : Specifically, primarily for anything that might look like it allows remote control of the trap or some way of bypassing the trap. Other than that, anything that catches my eye as being shiny or unusual.

GM: Ah, nope. Nualia's notes and several journals lie on the table here. Sorting through them will take several hours, but reveals the whole of Nualia's story.

Markus : Yeah.

GM: The notes also outline her plans to send an army of goblins against Sandpoint and burn the town to the ground, not only to offer it all as a burnt offering to Lamashtu in hopes of being made a full half-fiend, but also to fuel the runewell in the catacombs below. The notes go on to detail how to cause Sinspawn to manifest from the runewell and claim that if someone were to overextend the runewell stores, it would be deactivated. 

Loyal: Oh! 

GM: Nualia isn't sure how to reactivate it and several times stresses that the runewell shouldn't be used that much until after Sandpoint is razed and the deaths of hundreds of citizens and goblins have refilled the well.

Markus : Well, the instructions on activating it, do they have any interesting tidbits or details that we weren't aware of?

GM: No. 

Markus : So, it's literally just drop blood in it? 

GM: Hmm-mm.

Loyal: And then kill the things that come out and then we win.

GM: It's clear that the Sinspawn that were there were created by her.

Markus : Oh! Not the mephit? 

GM: No. 

Markus : Hmm.

Taury: Do we feel bad about killing the mephit?

Markus : No.

Taury: No? Me neither. 

Loyal: Not really.

Markus : Well-

Ishmael : No.

Loyal: It's a demon.

Markus : Kind of, but-

Taury: No!

Loyal: You got a cool dagger out of it.

Markus : Out of character, no, but- 

Taury: [Laughs] 

Markus : "What now?"

Loyal: "I mean, you all mentioned possibly rest, although we do have to deal with whatever is beyond that other door, whenever we want to do that?"

Ishmael : "I mean, it can't get out without the key, so it's kind of safe. For the goblins and everything else, I don't think they can come through through the trap. So I guess this is about as good a place as any to rest."

Loyal: "If we're going to take a rest, now may be the time to do it?"

Fenwarin: "Yep."

Markus : "We'll need to keep watch on Nualia, make sure she doesn't regain consciousness."

Ishmael : "I will hold her in the, ah, throne room." 

Markus : "You sure?" 

Ishmael : "Hmm-mm."

Loyal: "We should probably all stay in the same room, should be not?"

Taury: "It's probably wise to stick together."

Ishmael : "That's fair, but, like, you don't really want her waking up in the middle of your rest and waking everybody else up."

Loyal: "Well, that's what we would want if she tried to escape." 

Ishmael : "Yeah?"

Markus : "I think the risk is that she might hurt people in their sleep, but yes."

Loyal: "She doesn't have a weapon anymore, but provided whoever's- We're going to have someone taking watch anyway, provided that they keep an eye on her."

Ishmael : "Well, I mean, I don't need to sleep currently at the moment."

Markus : "You don't?" 

Ishmael : "Mmm, no, not always. Sometimes, but this is not one of those times."

Markus : Markus has a thoughtful look on his face.

Ishmael : Hmm. I mean, I guess, I guess if we're, we're at this level and, like, um, 11? "You got that look in your face or your eyes again?"

Loyal: How often do we Sense motive each other?

Ishmael : More than any party should!

GM: OK, yep. Markus, yeah, Ishmael's acting strange.

Markus : Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Ishmael : I'm acting about as strange as I normally do, but alright. Or are you thinking, or you're referring, that I'm acting stranger than I normally act?

Markus : Well, that wouldn't be out of character. I don't have a baseline for you yet, first of all. 

Ishmael : [Laughs]

Markus : And secondly, um, remember, I'm still under a certain effect, because my best friend in the world was talking all sorts of things about you.

Ishmael : Yeah.

Markus : But, yeah.

Loyal: Best friends, best friends. Our Markus has a friend now!

Ishmael : [Laughs]

Taury: 'Markus has a friend?' Jesus!

All: [Laugh]

Markus : No, no, no, no, not just 'a friend', a 'best friend'. 

Ishmael : A best friend!

Loyal: A best friend, yes.

Fenwarin: Ah, you're a BFF!

Markus : "Anyway, seems like we're thinking about setting up camp to let certain people rest?"

GM: Yep. So, you guys, just to be clear on what's happening, you are going to rest here in this room?

Loyal: Yes, I think this is the best room it's-

Fenwarin: Yep.

Loyal: There's space, and if things come through, we'll know.

Ishmael : "Also, also, like, as, as for who's taking watch, ah, Ishmael's got the whole night. You guys just sleep."

Markus : "The other option for a place to rest that immediately springs to mind, would be the other side of the secret door in, like, the pool room or something? Or the corridor?"

Loyal: "The pool room's kind of small."

Taury: "I was thinking the pool room."

Loyal: "It's kind of small."

Taury: "It is small, but there is an escape route there, whereas here, we're pinholed."

Loyal: "I kind of like that the, the scary thing is dead, she's, well, she's disabled for now. Apart from-"

Markus : "We don't know who else can gain access through the traps."

Taury: "Yeah."

Loyal: "It's true. Well, I mean-"

Taury: "Whereas the other, the other room, like, nothing's coming through there, really."

Loyal: Eh, we'll be fine.

Taury: Forget about it! [Laughs]

Loyal: In that case, then, since we're taking a nice long rest in here, ah, I'm going to activate, I'm going to burn my last thing of Healing myrrh, which basically means we get double hit points from rest instead of, ah, your standard. I think it's, equal to your level? So you get double your level?  

GM: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Hmm, nice!

Markus : "OK, so we're doing it here, we're not doing it on the other side of the secret door?"

Ishmael : "I mean, secret door? If you guys- Do whatever you guys want to do to feel safe, like-"

Markus : "I would prefer the other side of the secret door if for no other reason than what if someone comes to report to Nualia?" 

Taury: "Mmm."

Loyal: "I mean, yeah. That's, that's the main worry."

Ishmael : "So, yes. Well then, onward to the pool room, I guess, right?"

Loyal: Pool room, pool room, pool room.

Ishmael : Well, I mean-

Loyal: Wherever it is I was going to burn the myrrh, the healing myrrh, so we got, we all get a-

GM: All right. As long as you are in this structure Loyal, Malfeshnekor will continue to assault you psychically.

Loyal: [Laughs] Yay!

GM: Screaming at you to set him free, promises of rewards and power and all this stuff, trying to trade with you, it's, it's a one-way communication, but it is distracting and difficult to sleep.

That's all the time we have for now. To learn more about the show, the cast, etc. head over to http://wayward-expeditions.com/