Wayward Expeditions - Rise of the Runelords - Episode 21
Intro: For much of written history world events followed chartered routes. Oracles and seers mapped out the future in the stars above and their prophecies always gave a reliable view of the ages to come. Until a god died a century ago. No one saw that coming. And now the old prophecies are failing, oracles go mad and seers desperately tried to account for the loss of the future. While some cry out that the world is at an end, they've been doing so for a hundred years now and the world is still here, it's just unclear where things are going. The future of Golarian is open, ready to receive the triumphs and failures of a new generation of heroes. Welcome to Rise of the Runelords!

GM: The ancient site known as Thistletop has long served as a den for goblins, today, it serves as something more, the lair of a band of outlaws led by Nualia, knaves and criminals who have recruited the goblins as their instruments of destruction. In order to save Sandpoint from these goblins, a journey to Thistletop must be undertaken. But the Lost Coast new heroes are taking care to ensure that they are prepared for this stage of their adventures. Having equipped successfully (in their opinion), they head out. Are you taking your horses?

Taury: Oh, don't kill the horses, I swear-

GM: It is common knowledge that goblins hate horses.

Taury: How much? Like murdering them?

GM: Yes, horses are the only creatures that goblins hate more than dogs, and you've already seen them kill dogs.

Taury: Bastards!

Markus: What's the distance like?

Taury: It was a couple of miles, right?

GM: It is a six mile journey, according to the map that you've got.

Ishmael: Like on foot or by horse?

GM: Six miles is six miles.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: It's just a matter of distance, distance is relative.

Morana: That was me, I was like milage doesn't change.

Ishmael: Shush not I'm not awake yet. Leave me alone!

Taury: Oh, Jesus, that was painful.

Ishmael: Oh I know, get used to it, it doesn't get any better.

Taury: Oh boy.

Ishmael: It only gets worse.

Morana: It's true.

Ishmael: You're not supposed to agree with me on that one. God, you're such a dick! I, I imagine we would walk or we could take the horses out to a certain distance and then, you know, walk the rest of the way.

Loyal: Well there's goblins in those woods. I probably wouldn't trust that.

Taury: I would assume we would take horses, if it's not like- what's the terrain?

Loyal: It's like thistly forest.

Taury: Well yeah, but that's there. On the way there, is that the same?

Loyal: Pretty much, we're going to be going through a lot of forest, I know that much.

GM: Let me swap you over to the Hinterlands map.

Loyal: Well it's road and then forest.

Taury: Well, if it's road, I would assume we take horses, but I don't really- I'll take whatever the vote is.

GM: All right, so, yeah, Thistletop all the way over here from Sandpoint, which is all the way over here.

Markus: Were you just moving Sandpoint?

GM: No.

Markus: I could have swore that dot moved!

Loyal: It definitely did move.

GM: You saw nothing, no.

Taury: What the fuck?! 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Worry not friends!

Loyal: Picks up the city and moves!

Ishmael: Moves it like three inches to the right.

Fenwarin: The city's flying with us.

GM: Slight jitters are unimportant.

Markus: Ok.

Taury: So I would assume we would go probably halfway right? On horseback to where it's actually road and then probably walk the rest of the way, is that- it feels like a logical thing?

Loyal: Yeah, I'm pretty much just worried about goblins stumbling upon our horses and killing them. There are goblins all around this area.

Taury: Right, I suppose.

Markus: Yeah, the issue is we'll basically be tying them up somewhere in the Nettlewood, what do we know about the Nettlewood?

Loyal: Full of goblins.

Taury: I mean, I wasn't going to suggest tying them up, I would have suggested sending them back towards the town. As in, they would just walk back.

Markus: Oh god no!

Loyal: There's also goblins right here.

Markus: They will just- you can't train a horse to go back to town the same way you can a homing pigeon, so they would just wander.

Taury: Listen, I know horses, and they would just walk back to where they came from. 

Markus: Maybe.

Taury: They would recognize where they came from. They would.

Markus: Yes, they are smart enough to, as long as nothing interfered with them on the road. And that doesn't necessarily mean that they're not going to get distracted by food, for example, if they want to go grazing.

Taury: Right, but we're not thinking about the horses, we're thinking about Thistletop.

Markus: Well, the whole point about taking the horses and then not carrying on with them, was because the goblins won't like them and will try to kill them. But if we're going to abandon them anyway?

Taury: Right.

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: But I would just assume most of the goblins are all at Thistletop, because that's where they were all collecting.

Loyal: Well, they're probably patrolling the woods as well.

Taury: Yeah. Which means they're all going to be up that direction. They're not going to be that close to the town, necessarily.

Markus: Ok, what do we know about the Nettlewood?

Taury: It's full of nettles and shit ain' it?

GM: That is a knowledge geography check. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: Full of nettles and shit! [Quoting Taury]

Ishmael: 27.

GM: All right, Ishmael, you are very aware that the Nettlewood is a overgrown and very choked with underbrush wood, and most of this underbrush is thick nettles, and thorn bushes, and a poisonous plant called a Goblin Berry Bush.

Ishmael: I see.

Taury: So you don't bring horses through that, it's not going to happen.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Various stinging nettles and just it's not a great place.

Ishmael: So yeah, what would it be smart to just, you know, go up to here and then just take the coast with that 27?

GM: Well, you do know that Thistletop is located on the coast and the land approach is difficult, trying to go through the tangles of the Nettlewood, which would require a survival check. 

Ishmael: Yeah

GM: To get there. And you could get lost in the woods. Or you could maybe attempt a boat and go by the waters and hope there's some way there, you do know that Thistletop itself is just this big rocklike thing and there's a building on top of it. So unless you're planning on climbing the rock, you're not sure if there's going to be any way in at the coast, but maybe it would be easier to climb up, you know, a seawall or something than trying to get through the Nettlewood.

Loyal: We know how things go with us when it comes to climbing, so.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Also, wouldn't they see us approaching from the water? 

Loyal: That too.

Taury: Like super obviously

GM: Well yeah, you would definitely be much more-

Taury: But we'd be alive!

Markus: So maybe arrive further down the coast than Thistletop itself?

Loyal: I was thinking maybe go off the road here and possibly move along the coastline.

Markus: Skirt the edge of the Nettlewood, yeah, that's that's an option.

Taury: It also means you're safe enough. One side of you is not going to get attacked.

Loyal: It's true. 

Markus: Yeah.

Ishmael: If we took a boat, we could probably try and come in here.

Markus: Oh. Go past and up the river and find- Yeah that's not a bad idea.

Ishmael: So, I mean.

Taury: It does mean it's further to run home though.

Markus: It does.

Ishmael: That's fair, but-

Loyal: Ideally, we won't be doing a lot of running.

Markus: If we need to run home, things have gone badly wrong.

Taury: And that won't happen. All right?

Loyal: Listen, listen.

Ishmael: No. [Laughs]

Loyal: I guess there's also the option of taking a boat, landing somewhere down here and then approach it from this direction.

Taury: I like all of those suggestions.

Ishmael: We'll figure it out, I guess.

Taury: Where we going to park the boat?

Loyal: I mean, the question is, are we going to walk slash take horses? Or are we going to boat?

Ishmael: I figure you know, they would expect us to trek through the woods, right? Because they're dumb goblins. They might be smart enough to go like, hey, there could be people there, right? But like goblins aren't smart enough, hopefully, to realize they could come in by water.

Taury: I like the boat idea, like the boat to about here-ish, and then walk the rest of the coast. I like that idea. But I like all of the other suggestions to be fair. So I go with whatever.

Loyal: So where do we get a boat?

Taury: I hate the idea of going through the Nettlewood! I think that's a terrible idea.

Loyal: I would agree.

Markus: Honestly going through the river and then- that gives us the option of basically going past and scouting Thistletop potentially, and then-

Taury: Through the river, I forgot about the river.

Markus: And then finding somewhere on the river, and then if we need to, we can approach conventionally.

Taury: Yes, it also means that we could be attacked from either side of the river like sitting ducks.

Markus: You're assuming the worst case scenario.

Taury: Well, yeah, that's what you do in a plan!

Fenwarin: You have to.

Taury: That's planning.

Markus: Yeah, fair.

Ishmael: I guess the first thing to do would be to, I guess, head to the docks to see if we can commandeer a boat.

Taury: Probably.

Loyal: We don't need, like, a massive boat, just like a small one.

Ishmael: Seems like boat, solid plan.

Taury: Yeah, commandeering a boat I guess is what the consensus is.

Fenwarin: Ok.

GM: All right, you head down to the docks and at this hour of the morning, there's a couple ships coming into port with cargo. There's mostly all the fishing boats are already out on the water. And there's a couple of small barges, small cargo vessels that are around.

Ishmael: Is there a check I can make to find like "Ah yeah this boat is probably good." Like would that be engineering or?

GM: No, that would be profession sailor.

Ishmael: Aaah, Well sadly, I do not have profession sailor. Can I make like an entry check, like an intelligence or wisdom check?

GM: Let's go with Engineering, I guess.

Ishmael: All right... 10?

Taury: I'm gonna roll that too.

Fenwarin: Oooh.

GM: Yeah. Boats are boats, aren't they?

Ishmael: Yeah boats, boats. I don't understand

GM: One's as good as the other.

Ishmael: Yeah I don't understand how boats work. They just float in the water is all, its arcane sorcery.

Morana: That's a 22 on engineering.

Fenwarin: Yeah, that's not good.

Taury: My 12 is like, "there are bigger boats and smaller boats."

Ishmael: 10 is, "a boat's a boat right?"

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Fens like, "is that a boat?"

Ishmael: That's a boat. My god!

GM: All right. [Laughs] This is a great! Ishmael and Taury you both know that you need an actual boat, not just like a rowboat or something to get out there. Fenwarin has no idea, anything that floats and can carry all of you seems fine.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: A log.

GM: Morana, you're aware that you need an actual boat. A fishing boat could get you there, but a transport would probably be better. Something like a sloop. Loyal, you're also thinking the same thing, like some sort of sloop would be kind of what you want here, but you're not seeing one in the harbor. Either of you.

Morana: I kind of figured it would be more shipping vessels. "We're not going to find what we're looking for here, I don't think."

GM: Yeah, especially for an idea of going up the river, you need something with a very shallow water line, something with like a flat bottom and none of the boats here are designed for that, they're all more ocean faring.

Morana: "Unless we wanted something to just drop us off on the coast, there's not going to be anything for the ideas that we've had that would fit this harbor."

Ishmael: "I mean, dropping us up the coast still isn't a bad idea."

Loyal: "Well. There is always the option of going down the road, heading towards the coast and skirting the edge of the Nettlewood."

Morana: "I was going to say we could see how much it would cost to have one of these ships drop us off there, but really the time and the money spent, it would not be a logical expenditure, considering it wouldn't be saving that much time in the end. And I think we'd be better off going over land."

Fenwarin: "I guess so."

Taury: Furtive, would Taury recognize anybody here at the docks?

GM: Possibly.

Taury: That she could acquire a boat from?

GM: No. 

Taury: Or a guy that would know a guy?

Ishmael: [Laughs] A guy who would know a cousin.

Taury: Who has a boat. No?

GM: Probably not.

Taury: Ok.

GM: Yeah, most of your contacts are just dock workers that do the loading and unloading of cargo.

Taury: Yeah, thought so. 

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Well I was thinking, maybe Jargie, but-

GM: Jargie doesn't have a boat.

Taury: No, but Jargie might know people who have boats, but no.

GM: Well, that's true, but, yeah, um... I don't know... If you want to pursue it, maybe?

Taury: Was he close enough to here? He is, right?

GM: You could listen to Morana, that's- yeah, the Hagfish is on the piers.

Taury: Mm hmm.

GM: You could stop by.

Taury: I'll think about it.

Morana: I mean, you might want to think fast, because as Morana finishes what she's saying she starts to turn and leave.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Loyal probably follows.

Ishmael: Once again, Ishmael will you know, tell them he'll meet them at the edge of town, whatever. He has to take care of one last thing before he leaves.

Fenwarin: Yeah Fenwarin's just going to head on out.

Taury: In that case, Taury will slip off to the Hagfish to find Jargie.

Loyal: So I assume the rest of us are kind of heading to the edge of town to gather and whatnot.

Morana: Yeah, Morana is going to head for the gate and take a seat and wait.

Loyal: Loyal will do so and he'll just kind of like take stock of all the potions and stuff that he made.

Fenwarin: Fenwarin was just right behind Morana.

GM: All right, Taury, you head into the Hagfish, it's still very early, Jargie's the only one in and he's doing some cleanup. Looks like he's fixing a table and some chairs from a bar fight the night before.

Taury: Yes, she'd just walk over to him. "Good morning."

GM: "Ag Lass! Sorry. How can I help you?"

Taury: "A couple of friends and I have a journey we'd like to take, and we were wondering if there was any way we could get a boat? We're going up the coast so we'd need quite a sturdy boat."

GM: "How far up the coast?"

Taury: "Well, we haven't decided."

GM: "You're not going to Riddleport are ya?"

Taury: "I hadn't planned to."

GM: "Good, good. It's rough up there, I hear."

Taury: "Yes, well, the boat Jargie? You know anything about anyone who could lend us a boat?"

GM: "Hmmm. Well you able to crew it yourself? Do you know how to sail? Yeah what am I saying? You know how to sail, but what about your friends?"

Taury: She just deep sighs. "I'm sure I'll try and teach them, preferably something that requires less capable crew."

GM: "Well, I hope you're not going far if you're going to get them all in a dingy."

Taury: "I hope so too. At least one of them can swim, I know that much."

GM: He attaches a leg to a chair and hammers it in, sets it on the ground, checks that it's stable. "Ah that'll do. I know a crew got thrown in jail last night from a ruckus they caused here. And their boat's not going anywhere until they get out. But I don't suggest you take theirs."

Taury: "Oh? And why not?"

GM: "Because stealing's wrong?"

Taury: "Oh I wasn't going to steal it, I was going to borrow it."

GM: "Hmmm. Sure you were. Good luck with that I guess, and if anyone asks, I didn't tell you a thing."

Taury: "Well do you know where it is? Or whose boat it was?"

GM: "A crew from Riddleport, and it's in the dock somewhere, I don't know which one."

Taury: Can I sense motive on him?

GM: Sure

Taury: I presume he's telling the truth, but just why not?

GM: He's been helpful and also trying to warn you off. Getting involved with these people is not the best idea, is what he's trying to convey.

Taury: Mm hmm, I get the impression he genuinely doesn't know more about them or he does?

GM: He might.

Taury: "What do you know of these criminals?"

GM: "I hear they're Zincher's boys."

Taury: Would I know who that is?

GM: Knowledge local. All right. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah, Clegg Zincher is a crime boss in Riddleport, one of the eight that run the city. His thing is he runs a casino, a fighting arena, and is the person you go talk to if you need to hire some muscle. He pretty much handles all mercenary work in the northern Varisian area along the Lost Coast and whatnot.

Taury: Alrighty. "And these these men, what were they fighting over, do you know?"

GM: "Oh, they just got too drunk."

Taury: "Well, there's discussions, surely there was discussions happening. Were they talking about anything?"

GM: "I don't know what they got into a fight over, they were fighting amongst themselves, so at least there's that. But I don't know what or why, and I've been running this place long enough that I know, the less I know about said situations, the better for my health."

Taury: "Yes well I'd be inclined to agree with you. All right, well, I best go. Thank you for your help Jargie."

GM: "Ah, take care lass."

Taury: She will tip him, ten gold pieces. And then she's going to leave and have a look at the dock, and see if she can see any ship kind of matching what she would assume to look like one of those crew's ship, or something, that looks abandoned or-

GM: There's a few in port, it's not clear on if they're not manned right now because they are awaiting cargo to be loaded, their crews is just off, you know getting some rest and whatnot, or if it's this crews' boat.

Taury: Mm hmm. And there's not like those guys- I assume they would have like a sail specific to them, or are they more like smugglers, so it'd be unmarked?

GM: It's probably the latter.

Taury: Alrighty. Taury would start working towards the group, where they were going to meet.

GM: Ok. I believe they're all just out at the Lost Coast Road, the north road, just by the gatehouse.

Ishmael: Well GM, I assume the thing I would try and check in on- my assumption was right?

GM: Yes.

Ishmael: Then I did what I told you I would do?

GM: Uh huh. We're just beginning to head out on the Lost Coast Road to the north.

Loyal: I will take time to pass out the cure light wounds potions, to however we feel we need to split them up. "I have ten. How do we want to do this?"

Taury: Oh, that's a lot of maths. What is there, six of us?

Fenwarin: I can take two of the ones- of the four I ordered Colin.

Loyal: Gotcha. "All right, Fenwarin gets two, I think Taury should definitely get two, having healing on her is good."

Markus: I'll definitely need some.

Loyal: All right, you get two.

Taury: Alrighty, so what does it do? 1- what's the roll for it?

Loyal: 1D8+1. Since they're a caster level 1.

Taury: D8+1. Ok.

GM: But you made these right?

Loyal: Yes, I made these.

GM: So it'd be 1D8+3.

Taury: Oh yeah, because that's caster level right?

Loyal: Yes, D8+3 then! Everyone gets D8+3's.

Ishmael: Ishmael will hand one of his to Taury and then

Taury: What I get handed?

Ishmael: One of the two potions I was handed.

Taury: Ok cool.

Ishmael: And then will hand the second one to Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Oh, thanks.

Taury: Who looks thirsty.

Fenwarin: Is there- No, I'm not going to go there.

GM: All right, so you're all headed off on foot, correct?

Loyal: I think that was the consensus.

Taury: Yeah,

Fenwarin: Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

Loyal: 'Cause we didn't want to kill the horses,

Taury: Well, WE weren't going to kill the horses. [Laughs]

Loyal: Get them killed, we were going to get them killed.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: All right. The Lost Coast Road is pretty easy to follow. It's not well traveled, but it's well-established enough, it's not overgrown or lost or anything. It's pretty well maintained when it is traveled to the north. And so over the course of an hour and a half or so, following the map that Markus had purchased, you get all the way up to around the Paupers' Graves. You're following the road.

Taury: And then we went in that way to the coast.

GM: Yeah, yeah, to about there.

Markus: Ok. Along the road, had there been any roadside shrines?

GM: Yeah, you see one.

Markus: OK, Markus will have noted that and, "Excuse me a moment." And he'll turn around and walk towards the shrine.

Loyal: Do I know what shrine this god is to? Wait- what god this shrine is to- other way around.

GM: Knowledge, religion.

Morana: I'm going to roll that too.

Loyal: Oof! Get those out now Runty.

Taury: [Laughs] But at least I can reroll one of the combat ones, so it's fine.

Loyal: We don't need those later.

Loyal: Yeah.

Ishmael: 28.

Morana: You rolled 20 + 8.

Ishmael: Shhh. [Whispering] No I didn't.

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: There you go, there you go. 

Taury: Listen numbers are hard, all right?

Ishmael: Math is hard. Wait, you're saying you guys didn't take the first level feat that lets you just roll 20s, you know, just straight 20s?

Taury: Oh shit! I must've scrolled past that one. 

Loyal: Oh fuck!

GM: Very nice. All right, Loyal, Morana and Ishmael, the three of you recognize a shrine to Desna. And the others of you, Fenwarin and Taury, you know, it's a shrine to a god likely of travel, but which specific one because of all the offerings that are left on it, and whatnot you can't really tell.

Markus: So Markus is going to take a little while, say a quiet prayer at the shrine. Out of character is that's something you guys want me to actually go through?

Ishmael: I mean, if you want to.

Markus: Ok, yeah Markus will do that. How closely are people going to be listening to him?

Loyal: Loyal might be listening since we're waiting, just out of curiosity, not necessarily out of suspicion or anything.

Ishmael: I mean.

Taury: Yeah, probably the same from Taury

Ishmael: There you go. That's how well I am listening to it.

Markus: Ok, yeah.

Morana: Morana's not, she's walked a bit of- a moderate distance away, seems disinterested. She will however be looking around to see if anything else is nearby.

Markus: OK, so Markus kneels at the shrine and begins to quietly pray. "Lady Starsong, I hope these words will convey my thoughts and dreams and prayers adequately. Thank you again for your guidance in bringing me to this place. It has changed me in ways I didn't expect and now I find myself on the road once more, not leaving, but traveling to another place, a place of old secrets and a place where the followers of Lamashtu are working towards foul ends. So I pray that you will be with me and my companions, that you'll help guide and protect us against the darkness we are walking into, because if we don't, then I fear that the town of Sandpoint will suffer the consequences." And he'll start quietly singing a short hymn to Desna, and when that's done, he will stand up again and turn and face the group. "Thank you. Time to move on?"

GM: Everyone, give me a perception check after you leave this shrine's area.

Morana: Should I roll another then? Because mine was to look out for things while they're- 

GM: Uh huh. 

GM: Ok.

Taury: You trying to hold onto that 18?

Loyal: Doesn't need to.

Morana: No, I'm good.

Loyal: Nice! Another one.

Taury: Ah nice.

GM: All right, everyone but Taury, after you've gotten some distance away from the shrine, you hear a massive squeaking, you look back and the shrine has been overrun by a rat swarm. All the trinkets of food and whatnot that were left there are just being devoured.

Loyal: "That certainly doesn't look... good. There's a better word I was looking for, couldn't find it."

Fenwarin: "I think this is a bad sign."

Loyal: "That's the word I was looking for."

Fenwarin: "Ah, yes."

Markus: Markus isn't saying anything, but his face has gone very flat, very, yeah, very deadpan, consciously so.

Morana: Morana looks unfazed and just kind of mutters under her breath, "Yeah seems about par for the course."

Ishmael: Ishmael will mutter something about prayers to the gods being a fickle thing, and then just carry on.

GM: All right, you reach the end of your-

Markus: Actually, no, I think-

GM: No? OK.

Markus: I think Markus would turn and go back to the shrine.

GM: Ok.

Ishmael: Can I make a check on like if that's an omen or sign or anything to like, you know, random rat swarm just forming at a Desnan shrine.

GM: Knowledge religion.

Ishmael: Ok. 28.

GM: That is a nat 20.

Ishmael: That is. But don't worry I've used it, so one of you will die later because I won't be able to roll.

Loyal: It's gone, the luck is gone.

Morana: So close.

GM: Yeah, 19 for Morana, very nice. Markus you're not positive or not, you have an opinion, but you don't know for sure if your opinion is correct. Loyal, Morana and Ishmael all of you are damn near positive. This is the spread of the influence of Lamashtu, in manifestation.

Loyal: Yeah, that's what I figured.

Ishmael: Ah yeah.

GM: I mean, Lamashtu and Desna are, you know, mortal enemies after all.

Ishmael: True.

Loyal: True.

GM: So Markus, you've turned back and you're approaching this swarm. What are you planning to do here? And does anyone go with him?

Morana: Morana is not. She rolls her eyes and mutters something else under her breath.

Fenwarin: I'm going with Markus.

Loyal: Loyal goes back yeah.

Taury: Taury hasn't noticed any of this, she's just looking at all the nature.

Ishmael: Like has Morana walked off or?

Morana: I mean when she notices them going back, she'll sigh and lean against a tree, she's not going back.

Ishmael: Ishmael will I guess stand near Morana, and just wait.

Markus: I'm not sure Markus has a conscious plan, but he's deliberately moving towards 'em and initially wants to see if they react to his presence at all.

GM: They seem uninterested.

Markus: What would the knowledge check for identifying the swarm be?

GM: Nature.

Fenwarin: Fenwarin will also try that.

Loyal: Yeah I'll go for it.

GM: All right, all of you identify a rat swarm. The only thing to really be aware of is other than the normal swarm issues, they do carry disease.

Markus: Yeah.

GM: Everything else is pretty standard, you know, other than it's a swarm.

Markus: I think- how big a swarm is this? First of all, what size is it? Is it medium? Large?

GM: All swarms are the same size.

Markus: Are they? Oh, OK.

GM: Yeah, unless it's multiple swarms combined together, they're all of large size.

Markus: Ok, if I'm remembering swarm mechanics correctly, they are resistant or outright immune to physical attacks. Is that right?

GM: It depends on the size of the component creatures of the swarm, like an insect swarm or a spider swarm, yes. Because they're so small, trying to damage any single one of them is inconsequential. A rat swarm, however, is of a little bit larger creature. So when you attack them, you can actually attack and do some damage to it. But it takes 50 percent damage.

Markus: Right, OK. How tough are they? Hit point wise or hit dice?

GM: 3, 3 hit dice.

Markus: Yeah, Markus isn't inclined to let them be at the shrine and let them continue. He's going to cast ray of frost on them.

Loyal: Seeing as Markus is being aggressive towards them. This might be an issue, I will- hmm, should I throw a bomb?- We'll see what happens after this.

Markus: Ooh, OK. It fizzles on Markus' first attempt.

GM: You have not captured the swarm's attention yet.

Loyal: Seeing his attempt, I'll just kind of like look at Markus and be like, "Let me try." And I will throw a bomb at it.

GM: Ok. That will hit. And will burn away the entire swarm, what doesn't die in the fire flees back into the surrounding wilderness.

Markus: "Thank you, Loyal."

Loyal: "Yeah, it seemed to bother you, and I feel like we weren't really going to get anywhere until it was gone. So."

Markus: "I was hoping- well, I didn't want to waste too much magic on it, knowing what's ahead, but I couldn't just stand by and let that happen."

Loyal: "I don't think I'll miss one of those. I've got plenty."

Markus: "You say that now, but, thank you. I mean it."

Loyal: "Of course."

Markus: Looking closer at the shrine, how much damage was done?

GM: Well, many of the offerings that were left are now gone. Whether they were eaten by the rats or destroyed in the fire is unintelligible at this moment, especially from this distance. But the stone itself and any engravings that were made on it, or paintings and whatnot that were left on it, seem to be ok, if not a little singed.

Markus: Markus will start walking towards it and then stop. "No, we have a mission. Let's go." 

Morana: Before they get back- while they're still on their way back, out of earshot. Morana kind of looks over at Ishmael and says. "What kind of deity can't keep their own shrine safe?"

Ishmael: "I know. I find that most gods are incompetent when they set forth to do something, and are ignorant of, you know, those who pay tribute to them, so."

Morana: Morana actually gives him a rather curious look at that, before giving a slight chuckle to herself and looking out towards the coast. "I see. Hmm."

Ishmael: For context, he just spent a minute or so building a house of cards, lost in thought. Yeah. "You seem to be lost in thought there."

Morana: "I tend to be."

GM: All right, continuing on down the road, yes?

Markus: That would seem to be the plan, yes.

Taury: Is it the road or the coast?

Ishmael: Well we're heading up to the coast.

Loyal: I think we're going down the road at Pauper's grave, we're heading north along, then skirting the coast, I think.

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: I just Assume there isn't a road on the coast, was just why I was asking.

Loyal: Gotcha.

GM: Ok. Survival checks. Whoever is leading this group.

Taury: I would probably suggest that Taury is, considering you're all talking and doing things. Right?

Morana: I mean, I was going to call "not it" anyway, so.

Ishmael: Yeah

Loyal: I mean, who's got best survival is the question. Mine's ok.

Ishmael: I mean, I've got like a +5.

Loyal: I got +6.

Markus: +7.

Taury: +5 and I was going to cast a spell as well?

Ishmael: I mean, we don't-

Taury: If I can.

Loyal: I think situationally I guess, this seems like Taury would definitely be leading.

Taury: Yeah.

Markus: Yeah.

Loyal: Because

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: Because her modifiers really aren't that much different enough for it to matter.

Markus: Yeah. Well, Markus would be carrying the map unless anyone else has specifically asked for it. And once we go off road he'll start periodically casting know direction as a cantrip as well.

Loyal: "Well it seems like we have our leader then."

Markus: But if someone else wants to be actually at the front, Markus is not going to object to that.

Taury: Well, I was going to cast deadeye's lore, which would give me a +4 to all survival checks-

Markus: Oh yeah.

Taury: -for the duration of the spell. If I can do that.

GM: Yeah.

Markus: Markus will loan you the map and assist then.

Taury: Aid another, you could say.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Loyal: [Laughs] Hey we used it!

Taury: Yay!

GM: All right, the map will give you an additional +2.

Taury: Cool. Do I have to roll to cast this? I assume so.

GM: No, just use the spell.

Taury: Just mark it as used? 

GM: Yeah. 

Taury: All right cool. And I just make the survivor roll. 

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Cool, watch this be horrific, even with the +4... Oh if it's a 25...

Fenwarin: Woah.

Loyal: Wooh!

GM: That is a nat 20.

Loyal: That is a nat 20 hell yeah!

Ishmael: So that's a what? +2 +6...

Loyal: That's +2 [Mumbles]...30 +2 or 6

Ishmael: Positive

Loyal: 30 plus-

Taury: It's a lot of numbers. [Laughs]

Loyal: 33 I think?

GM: Yeah.

Loyal: 33 I think is the total, something like that.

Taury: I was going to maths it, and then I was just like, no, I give up.

Markus: Yeah, I make it 33, and I don't suppose my- yeah, no direction will help me, won't help Taury. So 33.

GM: Right. So you'll give another +2?

Markus: Yeah. 

GM: Yeah. All right. Thistletop is located on the Varisian coast, approaching by land would normally be very difficult because of the Nettlewood and the tangle of brier's and whatnot. However, you manage to reveal a route through the woods. You come across one of several narrow goblin trails that they've made throughout the Nettlewood that leads straight to Thistletop. You do not encounter any of the poisonous plants, or random encounters, because you rolled so well.

Loyal: Thank god.

Morana: Neat.

Fenwarin: Wow!

Taury: Oh wow that was so lucky!

GM: You do not get lost in the woods for hours upon hours. Every time you have to make a survival check after becoming lost, would have taken an additional 1D4 hours.

Loyal: Oh!

Taury: I would imagine if anybody did get lost, they would get a really condescending look from Taury, she's like, "no, it's this way, you idiot." you know, like. [Laughs]

GM: All right, and then your plan of action is actually to head to the coast area and try to view Thistletop from like here, before actually making your way to it, correct?

Loyal: Think that was our goal? Yes.

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: It's getting as close to it as possible without being noticed, so we can scout it I would imagine yeah?

GM: All right. Yeah, you manage to follow various goblin trails and do just that.

Taury: Hell yeah!

Markus: I think the plan is also to look for alternative ways in, than the front door.

GM: Mm hmm. Thistletop is a curiously round island about 60 feet off the shore, connected to the mainland by a rope bridge. The island has an unusual genesis, as in the light you can kind of see what looks like carvings on it, like some sort of face. It looks like it used to be the head of some gigantic statue.

Markus: I'm assuming its fairly eroded?

GM: Very.

Markus: Too eroded to work out who it was a statue to?

Taury: Yeah, can we try and identify it?

GM: Knowledge history. And this will be very difficult to check.

Ishmael: Yeah 21, yeah I probably didn't get it.

Markus: "Taury, did you memorize guidance today?"

Taury: She thinks about it for a while. "No, no, not today."

Markus: "Ah, oh well." Markus will take a few moments to consult his book.

Taury: Ooh, Jesus.

GM: The book does not help.

Markus: Oh it does not? Ok.

GM: It does not.

Markus: Ok.

Taury: Is the book like a book of children's tales or something? He brought the wrong one.

Markus: No, it's specifically- It's a Pathfinder journal on history that takes D4 rounds to consult and then gives me a bonus normally. But in this case, no.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Not today.

GM: If the topic is covered by the book, and in this case it is not.

Markus: Yeah. Ok. Damn it no.

GM: Yeah none of you have any idea who this face/effigy might be.

Ishmael: To eroded?

GM: To obscure, to eroded.

Markus: Markus has ideas, he just can't confirm which of them might be true.

GM: Yeah you have wild guesses.

Ishmael: It's Santa right?!

Markus: Rampant speculation, yeah.

Taury: You know what's really annoying, I just realized I did have guidance prepared! [Laughs]

Markus: It wouldn't help.

Taury: No and not with that, I was looking at all the level 1 spells. God damn it.

GM: All right, go ahead and give me perception checks for your possible hidden entrances.

Taury: Probably all entrances as well.

Fenwarin: Oh just bad rolls

Loyal: Very average rolls right now,

Taury: They're average, yeah, they're not bad, they're just average.

Loyal: Like 15's.

Taury: Although that fucken 29 isn't average from Markus!

Loyal: 29's pretty good. That's pretty good!

Markus: Yeah.

Taury: We'll take it.

Loyal: A bit above average, just a bit.

GM: And not even a nat 20.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: All right, those of you that got above 15, which is a couple of you, you notice that the rope bridge is about 80 feet from the waters below. So if you try to go down to the shoreline and climb up, it wouldn't be impossible, but it would be a long and difficult climb. You can see some goblins on the island top. It looks like they're looking off into the ocean, not your direction. But if you're trying to scale this side of it or something, they might find you. It's a high probability.

Taury: How well do goblins climb though, is the question?

Ishmael: Do they even have to?

GM: Yeah, that's a good question, do they have to?

Taury: Well, I had an idea, it's a terrible idea, so it just was relevant.

Loyal: Throw them off.

Taury: No, it was burn the bridge and climb the side of it so they can't escape the island. So they have to drown instead.

Loyal: That's a good thing for later, when we no longer need to get onto the island.

GM: Interesting.

Taury: Just a thought.

Loyal: That might be a thing to do, preventing them from escaping if the situation is there, we don't want to block off our escape as well.

Taury: Well if we jumped into the water and swam away, you know, it's a good escape plan.

Fenwarin: 80 feet is pretty horrible.

GM: All right, Markus, you notice on the side of this cliff face nearest to you down at the water, there's a weird eddy happening in the waves right there. Go ahead and give me a dungeoneering check... All right. You think that there is some sort of cave entrance or something, some sort of opening beneath the waves right there, where you could get in undetected.

Markus: OK, "Look there, the way that water is moving, it seems like there might be a cave underneath there."

Loyal: "That certainly seems like a better idea than walking across that bridge."

Taury: "I would agree, avoiding the bridge is a good idea."

Markus: "It means getting wet though."

Fenwarin: "Yeah I do like the sneaky approach though."

Ishmael: "I mean, are you worried of water?"

Markus: "No, but it does mean there are certain things I'll need to take precautions about, or perhaps leave behind."

Taury: "Yes, not swallowing water is usually a good way to start."

Morana: "The swallowing water isn't the problem, it's the inhaling that starts to be problematic."

Loyal: "Seeing as the bridge isn't really an option, seems like that may be our only option to swim through there."

Markus: "There may well be other caves, other entrances, other parts we can't see, but there's only one way to find that out, and that's to go and actually explore it. But that has its dangers as well."

Loyal: "Here's something that maybe I might suggest, I don't expect it to be necessarily the best idea, but if we want to avoid going in the water, I still have this." And I pull out the potion of invisibility. "That could be used to get someone across the bridge, ideally take out any guards, so we could cross undetected."

Fenwarin: "I've just one question, though, wouldn't the bridge shake like crazy when you were walking on it, maybe that will tip them off?"

Taury: "Goblins are not known for their intelligence."

Markus: "No, but they do have sharp ears."

Ishmael: "I mean, also, I wouldn't, you know, chalk goblins up to being, you know, eternally stupid."

Taury: "Well, it's windy, they're at sea, bridge is shaking anyway."

Loyal: "It's not wrong."

Ishmael: "Maybe."

Loyal: "Not necessarily saying that's the best option, just an option."

Taury: "I might suggest the invisibility might be more helpful if you were to go through this cavern that Markus has found. In case there is anything on the other side."

Loyal: "I'd probably agree as well. Well, regardless, I have no issue with swimming across."

Markus: "Other than the need to leave certain things- well, a way to waterproof certain things. No, I think swimming is our best option."

Fenwarin: "Yeah."

GM: Ok, I'll need climb checks to get down the cliff face, down to the shore.

Loyal: Oh, do we want to just use a rope?

Markus: We definitely want to use rope yes.

Loyal: Yeah. [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs] Was that a question?

Markus: If we get a rope tied off, is that DC going to be low enough that we can take 10 to climb down?

GM: You'll need a DC of 5 with the rope.

Loyal: All right, take 10 it is.

Markus: Yeah, that should get us all down, hopefully.

Ishmael: Yeah. 

Fenwarin: Mm hmm.

GM: You will need to use more than one rope.

Taury: I have a rope.

Ishmael: I have a rope

GM: As the cliff face is 80 feet, and most ropes are 50 feet.

Ishmael: Yeah, I have a second rope.

Taury: I have a rope as well,

Loyal: As do I.

Taury: So we've got like three ropes at least

Markus: Yeah.

Loyal: We've got a bunch. We got a lot of rope.

Markus: Yeah,

Taury: So take that!

Markus: So sounds like we've got 200 feet of rope between us.

GM: Ok. You get down to the beach. There's not much of it here, but there's enough to stand on before wading out into the waves.

Loyal: Gonna look around at the water, see if there's anything in it, we haven't done that yet.

Taury: And Taury will be watching, like for any enemies possibly around or approaching.

GM: All right, perception check. OK. The waves seem stronger down here than what they looked like up there. Go ahead and give me a nature check.

Loyal: Good at those. Not when I roll a 3 but.

GM: Ah! But it's still good enough to know that there is a strong riptide.

Loyal: Shit!

GM: To swim out to this place, you're going to need a DC 20 swim check.

Loyal: I'd like to point out that it requires me to roll a 20 on the dice, because my swim is 0.

Taury: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Yeah same here.

Taury: I have like a -4 to my check.

Morana: Yeah I'd need to roll a 22.

Fenwarin: Oh man.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Taury: What do we have to roll in order to not drown?

GM: To not drown, you need at least a 10.

Taury: All right, that's not the worst.

Loyal: Still a 50/50 for me.

Taury: It's still not the worst.

Fenwarin: That's not good odds.

GM: Rolling a 10 will not get you to move anywhere, you will be at the mercy of the waves, but you won't be drowning.

Taury: But you won't drown. [Laughs] Which is like. No.

Fenwarin: That's not good for our group. Nope.

Loyal: Not at all. We are not very physical.

Markus: No.

Taury: It's not ideal.

Markus: No.

Ishmael: All right, my question is, if one of us was able to get over there, would we be able to tie off a rope, to help assist?

GM: Well, you're not sure if there's anything to tie a rope to yet because you haven't gotten there.

Ishmael: That's fair.

GM: But I like where your thoughts are going.

Taury: What if we tied a rope to each other? [Laughs]

Loyal: Might just make things worse.

Taury: Then one person who's really good at swimming succeeds.

Markus: Now that.

Loyal: That means more dead weight!

Ishmael: That sounds like a way for us all to drown to death.

Loyal: Yes.

Taury: But together.

Loyal: [Laughs] Exactly.

Taury: But we die together with the power of friendship on our side.

Ishmael: [Laughs] All right. So-

Taury: There are worse ways to die man.

Ishmael: All right. Well, my thoughts are, "I've got this." Ishmael will secure his weapon and make sure all the stuff is in the most waterproof part of his backpack.

GM: Do you have a waterproof bag?

Ishmael: No.

GM: Ok.

Taury: But he carries plastic with him.

Ishmael: Yes, I carry a roll of Saran Wrap.

Taury: You know, like sandwich bags and he has all his weapons in the sandwich bag. [Laughs]

Loyal: Is he suffering from like weight penalties or anything from what it looks like? Like is he looking like he's carrying a lot?

Ishmael: Actually no, he's carrying, like, a lot less than any adventurer should be, and he's claiming to be an adventurer. [Laughs]

Loyal: All right. Just wondering if I need to give you a thing so that you don't weigh yourself down, but I do not.

Markus: Are you wearing armor?

Ishmael: I am.

Markus: Ok.

GM: You going out alone?

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Before he goes might I suggest maybe we, like, give him a rope and some of us hold- how far out is it to the thing? Do we have enough rope to where one of us could hold him and just in case he gets taken away, we pull him back in?

Taury: That's what I was thinking, if we tie the rope around his waist.

Markus: Also, is there perhaps an ebb tide or something where the rip tide goes away for a little while?

GM: There is not.

Taury: Because it's magic water, it's bullshit water is what it is!

Loyal: We're facing our enemy right now.

Taury: We are.

Loyal: Our true fucking enemy. 

Taury: Uh huh!

Ishmael: I whispered to you, I guess I should be DM'ing in discord, but.

GM: Yeah, go ahead and roll it, you're at least 80 feet away because the cliff that Thistletop is on top of, was already stated to be 60 feet from the closest shoreline.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: And you're off to the side of that, so-

Ishmael: But at least 80 feet?

GM: Anywhere from 200 to 80 feet, somewhere around in there-

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: -is how far you're going to have to swim.

Ishmael: "So we have six ropes, right? We've used two."

Loyal: "We've got a fuck ton of rope. Yeah."

Taury: "We got so much rope."

Ishmael: "Ok, so we've got four more. Tie 'em all to me let's do this."

Loyal: Yeah we just got a big line in case we need to pull him back in.

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah.

Taury: Is there anywhere to tie the rope on the shore or will we have to hold it?

GM: Give me a perception check.

Taury: Cool.

GM: All right, yeah, there's some like driftwood and it looks like the skeleton of a wrecked ship maybe, you could possibly tie it off to.

Taury: Anything with metal on it.

GM: No.

Taury: OK, so I'm thinking the wood's going to be Deadwood.

Ishmael: I mean, you could test it.

GM: It probably will be.

Taury: Might be better off just holding it at this stage.

Loyal: I think the five of us holding it, I think will be fine.

Taury: Yeah with the strength checks. I'm not confident in this sunken ship.

Ishmael: Is there a roll that I can make to test the durability of the wood of the ship?

GM: Strength.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Or engineering?

Ishmael: I mean, I could do an engineering, fuck it. 

Taury: Is Ishmael strong?

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: All right.

Ishmael: 16, but no, a 21 for the engineering.

GM: 21. It should hold.

Ishmael: Fine. "Just tie it off there, tie all of the ropes together, tie to me. I'm going across." 

Loyal: "All right."

GM: Yeah, you tie it off to what remains of the keel, which looks like it was made of dark wood or Ironwood, so yeah, it should hold no problem.

Taury: I don't like the "it should" at all.

Ishmael: Uh. "Well either way, be ready to have your hands gripped on it just in case, I guess."

Taury: I'd say Taury is probably holding it anyway.

Ishmael: There you go.

Taury: Like as it's tied to it.

Fenwarin: Yeah Fen goes and grabs onto it.

Loyal: I'm over, ready to hold it in case.

Ishmael: "And now then, if it suddenly goes like taut and then, you know, slings off in another direction, I've probably been eaten by a sea monster and dragged away. It'll be fine."

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Funny but ok.

Ishmael: Ishmael will chuckle a bit, at like, that dark humor about that. Just like anyway, will tie the rope off to himself, and then just mutter something about, "I just got that book and now it's going to get ruined. Dammit."

Markus: "Leave it behind."

Ishmael: "That's fine." All right, so swim check you said? Hey, you guys want to give me any bonuses?

Taury: Oh, yeah, hold on. Hold my beer son.

Loyal: I got nothing I can give you right now, unfortunately.

Taury: Ok, yeah, Taury will touch your shoulder and cast guidance.

Ishmael: Thank you, that's a +1 right?

Taury: Yeah, on a skill check saving throw.

GM: For one check.

Taury: It's- this is a one check. [Laughs]

Loyal: It's something!

GM: No, there will be multiple checks to swim out this far.

Ishmael: Shoosh.

Taury: It's either that or I detect if he has a fiendish presence Furtive all. right?! I'll take the +1.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: I mean, hey, it might be worth it considering one of us already did.

Markus: Markus will offer resistance just in case you need to make a saving throw.

Ishmael: "Well, thank you."

Taury: Good call.

Ishmael: Sure, slap them all on, I guess.

Loyal: "Only thing I can offer you is ant haul in case you're weighed down."

Taury: Watch him drown anyway?

Ishmael: It's like, well this was a quick character! All right, I'm going to do it, so I got a +1? All right.

GM: You can choose when to use it.

Loyal: Oh.

Taury: Yeah,

Ishmael: Ok.

Taury: You don't have to use the +1.

GM: I would suggest using it though. 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Is the 7 going to help? [Laughs]

Ishmael: Is the 7 going to help? Uh I mean-

GM: No.

Taury: You said 10 was to not drown.

Ishmael: It's fine. It's fine. What's a little bit of drowning between, you know, companions?

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Yes. We've got hero points.

Taury: What's a little bit of waterboarding? It's fine.

Ishmael: It'll be fine.

GM: Now on the shore, the rest of you see him wade out into the water until he's about hip deep, and a wave comes and it crashes over his head and he's gone. 

All: [Laugh]

Markus: OK, how far away is he when that happens?

Taury: Well, he's waist deep so not far.

GM: Maybe 15 feet.

Markus: Ok.

Ishmael: I would have- like can we just assume the general like, if I tug on the rope really fucking hard, really fast, yank me back. If not, I'm fine.

Taury: I feel like that would have been assumed.

Ishmael: Yeah,

Taury: Once you disappeared we're like, "Oh, OK."

Ishmael: Yeah. Like you don't notice any yanking on the rope or, you know, panic like "Get me out of here."

Fenwarin: I think we kind of pull on it.

GM: Yeah, it is a smooth pulling of the rope, it's uncoiling as if it's going out, as if he just let the waves take him out further, instead of having to swim. At this point, I'm going to go switch over to the whisper chat with Ishmael.

Loyal: Oh! Uh oh.

Taury: Oh no.

GM: And I will return to you in a little bit.

Loyal: Oh fuck!

Fenwarin: Oh jeez.

Taury: No. 

Ishmael: Oh boy. Yes!

Taury: I don't like this at all!

Loyal: Oh fuck!

Taury: I don't like this at all.

Ishmael: It'll be fine guys.

Loyal: Oh no. It's going to be fine, ding ding, gone! [Laughs]

Taury: I have a feeling he's going to be swept into some fucking like, you know, dungeon.

Morana: He's just been eaten by a whale.

Fenwarin: Yeah, yeah, he got ripped away immediately,

Loyal: Oh it's like Finding Nemo!

Fenwarin: Finding Ishmael.

Taury: We'll get him out eventually.

Markus: Well, Jonah survived it, Ishmael will too.

Taury: Finding Ishmael! [Laughs] More popular than Finding Dory ever was.

Fenwarin: Never even seen it.

Loyal: If if we have comments, in the comments voice your opinion on Finding Dory.

All: [Laugh]

GM: Ok. We are now separate from everyone else, they cannot hear what we're saying.

Ishmael: Yes.

GM: But we will continue the scene with you

Ishmael: Ok, right.

GM: As the wave crashes above your head, the riptides knock your feet out from underneath of you and you're tumbling out into the ocean.

Ishmael: Cool, first thing I do is make sure I keep my fuckin like my scarf, which is the current glamor of my cap of disguise in place. I don't want to lose that.

GM: Certainly. You clutch your scarf to make sure it doesn't get pulled from you as you're rolled out into the sea.

Ishmael: [Laughs] All right.

GM: Because you failed so badly, you also sink down to the bottom, the weight of all your gear now completely water logged, has anchored you down. You don't need to make any more swim checks. You can feel free to walk.

Ishmael: I just walk across, but is there anything interesting that I can make a- Do you want me to whisper my roles to you or?

GM: No, that's fine. I will need you to give me a survival check to find the correct direction however, as you have been spun in all manner of directions, getting washed out,

Ishmael: Cool. OK.

GM: You know, the direction of the beach because of the rope.

Ishmael: OK, cool.

GM: That will give you a +1 to this role.

Ishmael: Ok, I have a general sense of where the island should be, right? How bad is the current currently like? Is it whipping underneath or can I pull something out of my pocket?

GM: Now that you're down on the bottom, it's not as bad here.

Ishmael: I would like to pull out my compass, that'll give me another +2.

GM: Ok that will give you another +2.

Ishmael: So this is a +8... 10. Wait. Can I just make it- like I'm not being yanked anywhere can I take a 10? 

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: I'll just take a 10 and make it 18.

GM: Yeah, you're in no risk of danger right now.

Ishmael: Yeah, I just, 18.

GM: Yeah, 18 all right. Yeah. You know directly where you need to go and begin walking that direction.

Ishmael: Perception to see if anything piques my interest or looks like interesting?

GM: Certainly.

Ishmael: OK, 18. This is a nice calming walk.

GM: You can see now underneath the waves, the face is better preserved here. And you see the visage of a very stern man.

Ishmael: Ooh. Can I make another check seeing that I have new information?

GM: Yeah, I'll give you another history check, at a slightly lower DC.

Ishmael: All right, do I get bonuses

GM: No.

Ishmael: Ok. Ooh!

GM: Nope. Still no idea who this could be!

Ishmael: Fuck it! Whatever. I'll figure it out later. If it's important, it'll show back up again.

GM: Yep, that that's the way these things tend to go. OK, you can see that there's a crack in the face, like around the cheek area that's left a 10 foot wide hole that goes deep into darkness, into like a cave or something a few feet below the waves. From where you are you're going to either have to swim up to it or climb.

Ishmael: Uh umm...

GM: And this hole is masked by seaweed and coral growth and whatnot, had Markus not pointed it out earlier, you wouldn't have known what to look for.

Ishmael: Yeah, damn that's impressive. All right, well, either way do I have an idea of my DC I need to make for swimming or, fuck it climbing? Because I'm just walking at the bottom. Can I take a-

GM: Oh, this is interesting.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Give me a moment...

Ishmael: All right.

GM: Markus has attempted to cast something as you were getting washed out into the shores.

Ishmael: Uh oh ! Uh oh!... It'll be fine. It wasn't yanking on the rope... So he's trying to cast a spell on me huh?

GM: Yes. Interesting, interesting. Yes. You can go ahead and roll that climb or swim check to get up there.

Ishmael: And seeing that I've just been walking, can I just take a 10 on this climb?

GM: No.

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: Because you're going to have to be dealing with the currents as you rise up.

Ishmael: Oh shit.

GM: OK, yeah, no save. Good to know.

Ishmael: +2... 12.

GM: The current makes this climb very difficult. You make some headway and then you're stopped by having to just cling on, or get pulled off the rock.

Ishmael: OK, there you go. 19.

GM: OK, that will get you the rest of the way up. As you peer into this cavern now you can see that it goes about 20 feet in and then ends in a pool. The remains of what must have once been some incredible treasury lie in the sloshing waves, shattered urns, crumbled stone chests, rusted bits of once beautiful armor and weaponry, and other long ruined treasures from an ancient past lie below here. Most impressive of them all is a large coral encrusted helmet, sized for a giant. The helm measures nearly five feet across and its full face guard bears an expression of twisted rage and fangs. The helm itself appears to be made of gold.

Ishmael: Damn! Is it just sitting there? Can it be moved or is it like overcrusted and embedded with coral?

GM: Hard to tell from here.

Ishmael: I mean, I walk in a bit more, I guess, like-

GM: Ok.

Ishmael: Like I'm trying to find a place to tie off so that, you know, I can, you know. Yeah.

GM: Give me a perception check as you begin making your way into this cavern.

Ishmael: 15.

GM: 15. That is enough to notice that it appears that a giant crab has made this helm it's home.

Ishmael: All right.

GM: As you begin walking in it stirs.

Ishmael: Ah shite! All right.

GM: I need to roll a perception check. It has not yet seemed to notice you, it is reacting more to the change in currents than you yourself.

Ishmael: Is it a nature or is it a dungeoneering to, you know, place a giant crab?

GM: That would be a nature.

Ishmael: OK. 17.

GM: 17. All right, you recognize the giant hermit crab is an aquatic vermin.

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: Of approximately humanoid size.

Ishmael: Damn that's-!

GM: You get one question. Yeah, it is a giant crab.

Ishmael: Hit dice?

GM: 6.

Ishmael: OK, does this look like something I can handle myself?

GM: Huh. I can't answer that.

Ishmael: OK, can I make a I guess, a wisdom check to realise like- or or an intelligence check to go like, uh yeah?

GM: Sure.

Ishmael: OK, so intelligence or wisdom, which one?

GM: Your choice.

Ishmael: I'll make an intelligence. 23.

GM: 23, yeah, you could fight it on your own, chances of defeating it on your own are slim, not impossible, but it will be a very, very difficult fight.

Ishmael: Yeah, right. Hmm, let's see. All right, so it's stirring, do I see anything like within my immediate area like that, I can tie off and get the hell out of here? With, like-

GM: You probably could have tied to the coral.

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: But how sturdy that is as a secured spot? Unknown.

Ishmael: I mean, engineering check.

GM: Ok.

Ishmael: 16.

GM: 16. The most secure spot in here is actually trying to get the crab to grab on to the rope.

Ishmael: Oh. Simple. Um, I would like to- So it hasn't noticed me right? So I'd like to-

GM: Or like lasso the crown somehow or something like-

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: Yeah, the crab will be the most structurally sound thing in this area.

Ishmael: That's fair. Well look- it's a giant fucking crab. And it's noticing the shift in the tide of the room, not me myself. So I would like to calmly and carefully, (like without making any sudden movements, you know, how you would deal with a wild animal), I would like to pull out a bit of a trail ration and see if it will eat it.

GM: Handle animal with a +2.

Ishmael: 16. Damn you rolls! Why are you fucking me now?

GM: All right, that is enough.

Ishmael: Ooh.

GM: It takes the food from you still seemingly unaware of your presence overall.

Ishmael: Ok.

GM: And begins to eat the food.

Ishmael: Ok, cool. Right, so I want to do two things, so I want to fully make a lasso and, you know. And is there is there like a lasso point for the crown? Like I want to try and, you know, like lasso, anchor the rope to the crown. But I also want to use some more trail rations to distract it so I can do this. But yeah. So how do you want-

GM: Yeah, yeah, there's some, at least one point where you could tie this off onto.

Ishmael: Ok, I would like to offer more trail rations, because I imagine it's devouring this shit like-

GM: Oh, yeah!

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah, I give it-

GM: You have it well and thoroughly distracted though, using these trail rations.

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah, I have five of them so, like, subtract however many I need to use to actually tie off and secure.

GM: You will use two more.

Ishmael: OK, do you need me to make a roll to tie off or are we good?

GM: You're good.

Ishmael: Cool, I guess. Should I go back and get them then? Yeah, I should probably go back and get them.

GM: If you want to.

Ishmael: Yeah, like I start using the rope and I climb with the rope, like, you know, I use the rope to guide myself, so I guess it's a strength check or grip check or whatever?

GM: Oh, so you're just going to pull along the rope as you head back? You're not swimming, it's not really a climb.

Ishmael: Yeah, I'm just using it to guide me so I don't get yanked, but also I'm trying not to play off the fact that I've just been having a lovely little walk down here, you know? Like-

GM: Ok, let's do this as a climb check.

Ishmael: Ok, do I get bonuses or can I take a 10?

GM: No

Ishmael: Ok. [Laughs] All right. So climb check?

GM: Yes, this will be a DC 15 climb check.

Ishmael: 16.

GM: You make it back.

Ishmael: Good.

GM: Now as you're returning, I am going to go deal with the other group and then I will pull you back in when you return.

Ishmael: All right, all right, one thing I would like to do though, for descriptions everything. I want to look like I have been through an ordeal and like that it hasn't been a fucking cakewalk. So, you know.

GM: You can describe that when you return to the group.

Ishmael: All right, cool. 

Loyal: ...non-magical chemical remedies such as antitoxin to it. That, for me, seems to be- 

GM: Ok. 

Loyal: Oh! Uh oh!

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: The rest of you on the shore, he's been gone a while, you're not really sure how long it would take to swim against a strong current to get over there or not. But it's been a while. The rope has steadily been pulled out. Everything seems to be going ok from what you can observe on your end. And then the rope stops. It doesn't get jerked or anything violently, it just quits moving. Several minutes of it not doing anything pass.

Markus: Ok, can we try and tug on the rope and see if we get a response?

GM: It gets more taut.

Taury: Taut like there's a huge amount of resistance? Or taut like there's small bit of resistance?

GM: Taut like it might have been tied off on something.

Loyal: Oh, well that's good.

GM: But your little tugs shifted that thing and it has increased the tension instead of reducing it.

Fenwarin: "What do we do?"

Taury: "Well that seems good. Should we send someone else to follow the rope?"

Markus: "Maybe?"

Taury: "Any volunteers?"

Loyal: "I certainly wouldn't do well in that situation. Probably best not to send me."

Fenwarin: "Yeah, I'm not a strong swimmer."

Markus: OK, out of character question to our GM, what would following a rope that's apparently tied off do to the swim check DCs?

GM: It would change it from a swim check to a climb check.

Taury: Good.

Loyal: Cool, no change in the bonus. Oh boy!

Markus: Is that a climb check that we can succeed at by taking 10?

GM: No.

Fenwarin: Oh.

Taury: Yikes.

Fenwarin: Yup, that doesn't change anything for me.

Loyal: "Well this changes nothing."

GM: As you're debating on who's going to follow the rope, Ishmael climbs out of the water holding the rope. Describe how you're doing this Ishmael.

Ishmael: Yeah, Ishmael is just like, you know, like death grip on the rope comes out drenched because obviously underwater, water and everything, and just gasping and go like, "We're good!" Spits up some water. "So I got a rope all the way over into the cave, cavernous, cavern, cave in it's cheek- That's weird. Problem, the giant crab." 

All: [Laugh]

Fenwarin: Oh my god.

Markus: "OK."

Taury: I would bet we laugh in character also.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Sure.

GM: A nervous chuckle or?

Taury: Like he's joking, like this is absolutely a joke. Right?

GM: Oh, OK.

Ishmael: Oh no. No. Like Ishmael will like squint and just kind of go like like, "This isn't a joke like that's your anchor point. So it was the most secure thing in there."

Loyal: "You tied it to the crab?!"

Ishmael: "I tied it to the helmet that it's using as it's home."

Loyal: [Whispers] "Oh my god."

Markus: "Wait-"

Taury: There's a an eye roll from Taury.

Ishmael: "Yes. It's a giant crab."

Markus: "Giant as in?"

Taury: "Friendly, I can only assume."

Ishmael: "Yeah, totally friendly."

Markus: "Dog, human, larger?"

Ishmael: "Humanoid size yes." Like, I made the roll, like is it like half the size of us? Like it's big enough it can't really get out of that room, right?

GM: It fills that helmet that is sized for a giant.

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah.

GM: The helmet is said to have been five feet across, and that's how big the crab is. Because it's using it as its home.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: It's a hermit crab, that's its shell.

Ishmael: "Yeah, it's using this five foot giant helmet as a home. It was the biggest thing in there."

Markus: "OK, big crab."

Ishmael: "Yeah big crab, and I figured that I couldn't take it by myself, so I figured you know, through some misdirection and sleight of hand, I tied the rope to it so we can get across it and then deal with the crab when we get there."

Loyal: "Well seeing as it's not much easier to get across anyway, it might be difficult for us to all get over there."

Ishmael: How much rope did I use?

GM: We're going to say you used 60 feet.

Ishmael: Ok, like, so I still have another, you know?

GM: Well, no, it was longer than 60 feet, it would have been 90 feet.

Ishmael: 90 feet and we had 200 left over.

Loyal: Something like that.

Ishmael: Yeah. So-

Taury: Well each rope is 50, right? Or 60.

GM: Yeah, you used two ropes and had enough to tie off on both ends.

Ishmael: OK. Yeah. Then so I've got two ropes left, I think. I think we had six altogether so two down, two across. All right cool. I suggest that we do something very important and uh- would it be an engineering to make like, you know, like tie off-

Loyal: I think I know where you're going with this.

Ishmael: That we can use to tie ourselves to the rope.

Loyal: Tie the rope to the rope and tie it to you.

Taury: Like a hook even and just slide along the rope.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: I was thinking like just even like a slipknot, if you know what I'm talking about?

Taury: Yeah, that's exactly where my head was at.

Loyal: That way we could in theory take 20 because we would be able to fail a couple of times.

Taury: Yes, a slipknot, you can't fall anywhere.

Ishmael: So, like would that be-?

GM: I like the ingenuity of this, yeah, it's either a craft, that you think is appropriate that you have available, or engineering to create this thing that will then reduce the climb check to something that you can take 10 on.

Ishmael: Ok. Would you guys like to aid me?

Loyal: Yeah I'll help.

Taury: Taury would probably help.

Fenwarin: Yeah definitely.

Markus: Yeah.

Loyal: I'm good at crafting stuff, I'll help.

Markus: If we can, yes.

Ishmael: All right, there's my roll, 27.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: It's the best damn slipknot you've ever fucking seen!

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: You make one of these for everyone.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Ishmael: Do I need separate ones or?

Taury: Probably.

GM: It would be advisable.

Ishmael: Ok.

Taury: It would take longer.

Loyal: Probably a good idea.

Ishmael: Who's the one that looks the most shaky like doing this? 

Loyal: Loyal.

Ishmael: Would it be Markus or would it be Loyal?

Loyal: Loyal,

Ishmael: Loyal?

Loyal: Loyal does not look happy about this.

Ishmael: All right I'm not concerned about happy, I'm more concerned about which one of them is the most likely to be swept away and die in the water.

Loyal: Well, I have a +0.

Ishmael: Ok.

Fenwarin: Yes, me too.

Markus: For climb?

Taury: To climbing?

Loyal: Yes.

Ishmael: Yeah. 

Fenwarin: Yeah, me too.

Taury: I have a -4 and a +2.

Ishmael: All right I give that one to Loyal.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, I'm at negatives for climbing.

Ishmael: Yeah. So I will use that one, and it would- Yeah is anybody wanting to give me aid for these? 

Taury: Yeah, Taury's helping you roll 'em.

Ishmael: All right yeah.

Markus: Yeah, it's however many of us can, I think.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah. So that one's for Markus... That one's for Fen. 

Loyal: Oooh!

GM: Nat 20 for Fen

Fenwarin: Thank you, and a drink!

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Ok.

Taury: Not the heaviest character no?

Ishmael: Yeah. Hey.

Taury: He's definitely going to sink, but all right.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: What if we use Fen as a raft?

Ishmael: And then there's that one for Morana, and then-

Loyal: Does alcohol float on water? 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: And then this one for Taury.

GM: All right.

Taury: Those are some shit-hot rolls.

Ishmael: So for context, I took the 10. Everybody else got the ones that are above 20. I don't think I've missed anybody.

GM: No you did not.

Ishmael: Would you like one GM? Here you go GM, here you go god. 22 for you god.

GM: I'm good thanks.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: He can come with us, that's great!

GM: I thank you. All right. Now, the only thing that you have not addressed with them, and that is painfully obvious to everybody, is you're going to have to pull yourself along underwater while holding your breath.

Loyal: Hah! If only I had known we were going to be doing this, I could have made alchemical items for this.

Taury: Yeah, I had a spell that I nearly prepared and I didn't, and I fucking knew I should have and I didn't. It's the air pocket one.

Loyal: There are things called air crystals that I could have made.

Taury: God damn!

Ishmael: I take out my my waterskin and I dump it.

Loyal: Oh, boy! I love this idea!

Ishmael: I would like to cast prestidigitation to fill it with air from the outside.

GM: All right. A nice little gentle breeze to fill it in?

Ishmael: Yep.

GM: Yeah.

Loyal: Do I have anything that could help with this? No, I do not.

Ishmael: Would this be considered, you know, could we use this as a makeshift air tank?

GM: Yes, I will allow that to be used as an air bladder.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: It will maybe work. There is a chance of dropping it and it getting swept away.

Ishmael: All right. How much rope did we use and which rope did we use for these?

Taury: For tying it to your belt?

Markus: We still had two whole ropes left, so.

GM: You only need about five feet per person, maybe a little bit more, so you cut up one of the ropes to do this.

Ishmael: All right, cool. I would like to use the other rope, right, to fashion, you know, a way to keep these from falling off of people so that they can use it.

Taury: You could tie it around our faces.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Like, any way we can just make it a necklace and then, you know?

Taury: Or your neck yeah.

Ishmael: You need another engineering roll?

GM: Yeah, give me an engineering roll on this one.

Ishmael: All right. 25.

GM: 25. Yeah, you could do this, but if it's dropped, it might then become a tethered weight that then begins strangling the person wearing it.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: Oh, I love it! This is hell. It's great!

Ishmael: Right. Hmm.

Loyal: Ok, out of curiosity, is the rope itself going underwater or is it kind of like on the surface?

GM: Yes.

Ishmael: Yes.

Loyal: Ah shit!

Loyal: Ok.

Taury: But like debatably, if it has a lid because it's a water skin, you would be hands free because like, I'd imagine the rope is angled downwards. So you're kind of free to like-

Ishmael: Wait. Wait A minute, wait a minute, wait wait one moment, like water skins have like, you know a lanyard right?

Taury: A lanyard cord.

Ishmael: Right?

Taury: They can do.

GM: Not all of them do, it depends on if your specific one does or not.

Ishmael: Ok, do ours have lanyards or no?

GM: I do not assume if they do, you can tell me if they do or not.

Ishmael: I mean, I know mine has one.

GM: What type did you get?

Ishmael: Mine has a lanyard did everybody get one with a lanyard?

Taury: I would assume Taury's has something that attaches to a belt or something.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: I don't know if it would go around her neck though.

Ishmael: Ah no it's just more so we just tie it to the person's wrist. There you go.

Morana: Yeah, exactly. Tie it to their arms so that, you know, while they're pulling themself along, they can lean their head to the side. Take a quick breath out of it and keep going.

Taury: Yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. We're using the rope as like an anchor essentially of the thing we're going along with.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah. It's basically like free form climbing down a rock face, except it's underwater. Right?

Loyal: And horizontal. Yes!

Taury: Yeah.

Loyal: Except the current is gravity.

Taury: Listen, we don't worry about the water. The water is not an issue.

Loyal: Yeah, I get what you mean. We're not necessarily grabbing the rope and pulling ourselves along. It's more of like we're using it to anchor ourselves as we move along.

Ishmael: All right. So I guess the other thing is to test the theory, like if it can be used?

Loyal: Yeah, we'll find out.

Ishmael: Or with engineering, is it like, yeah, as long as they don't lose it, they should be able to use it.

GM: It'll be good for one, maybe two breaths.

Ishmael: Ok, should that be enough to get us across?

GM: With holding their breath, probably.

Taury: So that means you're going to have to take fucking breathing checks in between "losing it" checks.

GM: Getting them across, yes, into the cavern, dealing with the crab and all that while under water? That's the questionable spot, right?

Loyal: "Oh is the crab underwater too?"

Ishmael: "Yeah, the crab is underwater, I forgot to mention that."

Loyal: "Son of a bitch!" [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs]

Ishmael: "There's always details I forget, but-"

Markus: "Yeah, that's a kind of important detail. Yes."

Taury: That's so key. That's so important. Just oh yeah and also he's underwater too!

Ishmael: "Well, I mean, unless you guys can think of a clever way to mobilize or deal with the giant grab immediately as soon as we get in there."

Loyal: We can just go across the bridge. At this point, the bridge seems like a safer option! Oddly enough.

Taury: I know, but I like the risk of drowning also! [Laughs]

Loyal: Yeah?!

Taury: Is the problem. [Laughs] I want to see it work.

Ishmael: Would you guys like to make your checks and try and figure out if there's a quick way we can deal with, like, this crab or?

Loyal: Sure, nature check? Question mark.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah it would be a nature.

GM: All right, yep, nature.

Taury: Uh. Untrained nature checks?

GM: No, you will need to be trained.

Taury: Great,

Fenwarin: Yeah, then no.

Loyal: Cool.

Taury: What about animal handling? [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: I don't think that's a thing in this.

Taury: It is. It's a literal skill on my sheet.

Loyal: Oh is it?

Fenwarin: Are you asking can I break this crab?

Taury: I'm asking can we ride it? Yeah.

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Yeah, onward! Onward crab! Into battle!

Taury: To Atlantis! Let us go forward.

Ishmael: I take the enemy and I turn it into a battle mount and I ride it into combat. What?

GM: Is that all of you, that are making this check?

Taury: Well-

Loyal: All that are trained I think yeah.

Fenwarin: I'm not trained. yup.

Taury: Think so, no one else is trained.

GM: All right, Markus and Morana, you're both not familiar with a giant crab. Maybe if it was a normal crab, you would have some insights, but who knows about giant crabs? Loyal, you have an idea about giant crabs. And I will give you two questions.

Ishmael: I've already asked what hit dice and it's 6.

Loyal: Cool.

GM: Sorry, one question. Math.

Loyal: Cool. I feel like ecology would probably be the best yeah? In this situation, we're trying to figure out how to deal with it. Maybe we can distract it with food?

Taury: Does it produce air bubbles? And can we use them to breathe?

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Can we video game style, like stick our head in the shell?

Taury: Yeah. Is that how that works? Right?

Fenwarin: Crab shell diving bell. [Laughs]

Loyal: Hmm, yeah, let's go with ecology.

GM: All right. Giant crabs behave much like their smaller cousins, feeding on both plant material and algae and fungus and animal matter such as fish, seabirds and even unwary humanoids. The coloration of giant crabs' hard exoskeleton varies widely depending on species, and over time even shifts in response to its diet. Would you like an actual question that will give you good info?

Loyal: Yes please. [Laughs] ...Um...

Taury: Do they eat adventurers?

Loyal: I feel like the answer is yes, he said an unwary humanoids so.

GM: You do know that this is a variant of a giant crab, the hermit crab is a specific species of them.

Loyal: In that case then I feel maybe...

GM: You're also aware that they are aquatic vermin, that's important, yeah. But your question.

Loyal: We'll go with resistances and immunities. Because that might be an issue.

GM: No resistances, but they are immune to mind affecting.

Taury: Because they have no brain or because they're intelligent?

Markus: From being vermin.

Fenwarin: No they're vermin

Loyal: They're vermin.

Taury: Yeah, so they dumb as shit.

GM: Yeah. Pure instinctual.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Ok, well, I relay this information to the party.

Ishmael: Oh, Ishmael will also point out like, "Oh, I also did distract it with, you know, trail rations so I guess in theory we could do that and then get out?"

Loyal: "Sounds good to me."

Ishmael: Like a hermit crab. It's got one big, like, fuck off claw, and then like a tiny dainty one right?

Taury: Like Hellboy.

Fenwarin: A fuck off claw! [Laughs]

Taury: But a crab.

Loyal: Big fuck off claw.

Ishmael: Yeah right. [Laughs] "But yeah, the big one is the risk, and scary one. So what if we just tied that one up and just kind of make it useless?"

Loyal: "We lobster them. In theory."

Markus: "Maybe."

Loyal: "I think if we can avoid fighting it that would be best."

Ishmael: "I mean, how many trail rations do you guys have?"

Markus: "A couple."

Loyal: "A few."

Ishmael: "I mean, I vote, we just distract it so."

Loyal: "It's probably the best idea."

Ishmael: Anybody here good at handle animal?

Loyal: Nope.

Fenwarin: No.

Ishmael: At handle animal?

Taury: I have a +2 to it.

Loyal: Better than my -1.

Markus: I have a skill rank in it so a +6.

Loyal: There you go.

Ishmael: All right. I mean, well-

Markus: "If it were a horse, not a problem."

Loyal: That's assuming we get there without drowning.

Ishmael: "Well, then like I guess me and Markus could be on, you know, distracting it duty and so you guys can get past."

Loyal: "Then you two should go first yeah?"

Ishmael: "Or I'll handle it. I got it. Yeah. Yeah, I got it." Ishmael will gather up all the whatchamacallits.

Taury: Rations?

Ishmael: Yeah. And then, you know, will work to tying off or filling all the water skins with breathable air."

Taury: The air skins.

Loyal: The air bladders yes. And then tying them off to everybody's wrist. And then, you know-

Taury: Tie Fenwarin's extra tight.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Like, I can't feel my hand, it's fine, perfect.

Taury: Because if Fen gets lost, he is not finding his way back. His perception checks are-

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Ishmael: Wonderful! They're touched.

Loyal: Dislike this idea, but- [Laughs]

Ishmael: Oh, it's wonderful!

Loyal: We're doing it!

Ishmael: It's fine. It's fine.

Taury: It's fine

Ishmael: Where's your sense of adventure friend? This is the excitement of it.

Taury: Yes, swimming went fine for you the last time.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: I had a magic +5 on that swim check.

Ishmael: Oh, I got a good look inside, like how high up until, like, we'd be out of the pool and everything? Is it just passed it? Or was it onshore? Like, I can't remember.

GM: Are you talking about the tunnel in?

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: And all that?

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah.

GM: Ok, the pool in that room is connected to the sea via a 10 foot wide underwater tunnel. The tunnel is about 20 feet long in all, and the powerful riptide within makes navigating it possible with a DC 20 swim check. You've dealt with all that. It emerges at the base of the island, about 30 feet underwater. And you're asking, how deep is that pool?

Ishmael: Yeah, like how far do we have to go past the crab to be, you know, not drowning?

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Is there like a gap maybe between the cavern and the surface? Usually there's like a tiny gap in those underwater caverns where there's like air pockets.

GM: All right, so you'll have to swim up 30 feet to get to air. 

Ishmael: OK.

Loyal: Oh, boy.

GM: Because it's at the same sea level. And then you're not sure what else is up there.

Ishmael: All right.

GM: You did not go up to check.

Loyal: Ah shit! [Laughs]

Ishmael: I mean, do you guys want me to scout out again?

Taury: Dare I say at this point we're just preparing to go.

Loyal: Yeah.

Ishmael: Ok, well.

Loyal: We're so fucked!

Taury: Because we're not thinking that far ahead.

Ishmael: I mean like Ishmael is worried about your guy's safety and everything. Like, "Do you guys want me to go back in and check it out? And see-"

Loyal: "I think, well, you're going first regardless."

Taury: "Agreed."

Ishmael: "Yeah, but we only we only have so much breathable air and we can only keep the crab distracted for so long." Like the inside of the cavern or whatever, like where the crab is, like was the current like stupid crazy or did it even out? 

GM: Once you get past the entrance cavern into the actual pool, it's pretty calm.

Ishmael: Oh OK. Then that's a lot less worrying, all right cool. Awesome. "Who's traveling behind me? Like is it going to be me, Markus-?"

Markus: "Yeah I suppose."

Ishmael: "All right. So what's the total of trail rations that you guys all have on you?"

Taury: Taury has five.

Ishmael: "Ok, what about the rest of you?"

Markus: "I've got two."

Ishmael: "Ok, two, so that's seven. I've got three so that's ten."

Fenwarin: "I've got some."

Loyal: "I've apparently got none."

Morana: Morana will have restocked before we left Sandpoint so.

Fenwarin: "I've got some preserved meat you can have."

Ishmael: All right, well, that-

Taury: I bet he does.

Ishmael: [Laughs] All right, so like, he would make sure you would make sure to, like, you know, make sure everybody has two trail rations and then we'll give the bulk of them, the rest, to split them between himself, Markus- And tell Markus, "Just in case something happens, and I'm not able to do it. You have some to distract it."

Markus: "OK."

Ishmael: And I guess like everybody else has two, "So just in case, like throw it at it and hope like hell for the best. Look, look, there's always the chance and you know, life happens. And it's a wonderful, wonderful, chaotic thing." Oh. The other question is, how big was the pool, And how much room did we have? Like, I assume we all can't just horde up. So I assume we're all going to have to go one at a time? Or like, is there enough room for like Ishmael to stand there and distract the crab while they single-file up behind me?

GM: We will find out.

Ishmael: That is fair. "All right, into the water everybody. Aren't you ready for fun? I'm ready for fun!"

Loyal: [Sighs]

Taury: I'm excited about this, this is horrific.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: It's going to go perfect. 

Markus: Ok.

Taury: I love it!

Loyal: No problems at all.

Fenwarin: It's fine, it's fine.

GM: With your track record with water this is procedure.

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: I feel like as Fen is going down, he's actually saying repeatedly, "It's fine, it's fine. No it's just water it's fine." You know?

Fenwarin: Yeah! [Laughs]

Taury: Until he can't, you know, he has to hold his breath.

Ishmael: Yeah. He just goes [Mumbles as if underwater] "It's fine, it's fine."

Ishmael: To be fair, Fen has a nat 20 one, so-

Taury: Listen, have you met Fen? [Laughs]

Ishmael: That is fair!

GM: All right. Holding your breath: You can hold your breath for a number of turns equal to your fortitude score.

Taury: Oh sweet.

Loyal: OK, 5.

GM: I said, fortitude, I meant con, con score, your constitution.

Taury: Well that's considerably worse!

Loyal: OK, the score, not the modifier yes?

Markus: Score or bonus?

GM: The actual score, not the bonus.

Taury: OK.

Loyal: Oh.

Markus: OK.

Loyal: 14 rounds, we're good.

Taury: That yeah, well, 12.

Markus: Yeah, that makes a difference.

Fenwarin: Yeah, that scared me.

GM: It's variable, someone might have tanked it and only have 7 or maybe even 5. 5 is the lowest that's possible.

Taury: I preferred it when you said fortitude.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] When you said fortitude, I was screwed.

Taury: I'm on 4 on fortitude.

Fenwarin: I had 1! [Laughs]

Ishmael: I have a 1 in con. What?! What would you mean?

Fenwarin: Yeah! [Laughs] I'm so sick!

GM: All right. Climbing moves at half your normal speed distance, and you need to go 90 feet.

Loyal: OK.

Fenwarin: Oh no.

Loyal: But we can also take our action to dash forward, so.

GM: You could do double movements, yes.

Loyal: Until we get into their that's what we're doing I imagine.

GM: So.

Ishmael: Everybody in the water, all the kids in the pool.

GM: Everybody gets into the water. You're all tied off, you're ready to go, you-

Markus: Making sure that my equipment is as well wrapped against the water as possible.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, I feel like we would all try and do that right?

Loyal: I assume we all do that. Yeah.

GM: You're as prepared as you possibly can be. You take one final breath before the wave hits you in the face, knocks your feet out from underneath of you. And I need climb checks.

Loyal: OK.

Ishmael: Which we can take 10 on.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: You can take the 10 on.

Loyal: I'm taking 10.

Fenwarin: Yeah, I'm taking 10 too!

Taury: Taking 10.

Loyal: Taking 10 for a 10.

Morana: Yup.

Ishmael: I take a 10.

Markus: Yep, yep, I will take 10 for an 8.

GM: [Laughs]

Taury: Is that, is that everybody taking 10? [Laughs]

Ishmael: No I would roll!

Fenwarin: [Laughs] 

Ishmael: No. I'm taking 10 for a 12.

GM: Yeah, OK. So you're all climbing along a decent pace. What is your procession order? Who is going to be the first into the cave?

Ishmael: Ishmael.

GM: Ishmael, followed by?

Markus: Markus was the plan.

GM: OK, and then?

Loyal: I guess we'll do Loyal.

GM: Loyal, OK. After Loyal is?

Morana: That'll be Morana.

Fenwarin: OK.

Taury: Great.

GM: Morana. All right.

Ishmael: And then Fen and then Taury.

Taury: Taury is at the back.

Loyal: Considering you're the best who might be able to help us if we get fucked. Comparatively to the rest of us.

Taury: All right.

GM: OK.

Markus: You'll also probably be moving slower.

Taury: Yeah, well, I would imagine so.

Markus: Because most other people don't have issues with armor encumbrance.

GM: You should all be on the map now.

Ishmael: Yes.

Taury: It's always good when you get moved to a map. That's that's how you know you're safe.

GM: I will update this for Ishmael and then move Ishmael back, because he has seen.

Taury: Oh shit, it will be dark under here, right?

GM: Yes.

Loyal: We're all humans with dark vision, it's fine.

Taury: We're all humans with dark vision, and Fen the elf cannot see.

Loyal: Take a sip.

Ishmael: Well, "Make sure Fen doesn't get lost, one of you guys."

Fenwarin: Cheers to dark vision!

Markus: Can I just point out there is a lovely cantrip called light, which I would hope our wizard has, you know, remembered to memorize.

Ishmael: I don't know, Markus.

Fenwarin: I don't have it.

GM: I have considered Fenwarin, as always having the iuon torch orbiting his head.

Fenwarin: Yes.

Taury: Ok, I thought for a second you meant an actual torch.

GM: So his current vision and the light you can see around him is because of that.

Markus: Would iuon torch actually work underwater?

GM: It would.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah, because it's an object.

Fenwarin: Yeah, it's a stone.

Markus: OK.

Loyal: Also worse comes to worst I have a sun rod.

Markus: No it's basically a continual flame, and I wasn't sure how that would interact with the water, so.

Taury: But it's a magic flame.

GM: It is not actual fire, it doesn't produce any heat-

Markus: Ah!

GM: -or smoke, just light.

Markus: Right, of course.

Taury: It's basically a nightlight. [Laughs]

GM: Uh hmm. Yeah.

Taury: For wee baby Fen.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: Ok. So everyone is entering this cave?

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Yes?

Fenwarin: Yeah,

Taury: Uh huh.

Markus: Mm hmm.

Ishmael: Ok.

Taury: I like that it's moving in a perfect line right now.

Ishmael: I would like to immediately start my rolls to, you know, to distract it. Like where is it at? I see where it is, but like what is it doing?

GM: Nothing, it's just sat there.

Ishmael: It's finished it's food I assume.

Taury: It's doing crab things.

GM: Yes.

Ishmael: Cool so- Oooh! A 14? Anybody hit me with guidance?

Taury: Sorry what?

Ishmael: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. 14 to distract it with some more food? Or you know yeah.

GM: All right, so that's your handle animal. OK.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: So you come in, you toss it some food, it grabs it and begins eating it immediately.

Ishmael: OK, good, good.

GM: You are still tied to the rope, which is tied to it

Ishmael: Yes, I'm aware.

GM: As Markus enters.

Ishmael: Like Ishmael will look back to Markus and just like gesture to untie himself and, you know, like to try move past it. Like we can swim over it right? Like it's not taking-

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: It's on the bottom of the-

Ishmael: And this cavern is pretty big.

Markus: Ok, so Markus will try to untie himself and move into the cavern.

GM: OK.

Markus: Quietly if he can.

GM: Go ahead and give me a -what's the best for this? Sleight of hand or disable device? Let's do sleight of hand.

Ishmael: Also Furtive, what is this up here? Is this like purchase? Or is this just underwater too?

GM: Maybe. You're not sure yet.

Ishmael: That's fair.

Taury: Oh, I don't like that.

Loyal: I feel like they know about this cavern, and are watching us.

Markus: I'll take that.

GM: All right, Markus, you have detached yourself deftly from the line, feel free to give me a swim check now to get out of this area.

Markus: OK. Can I take 10 on that swim check or is-

GM: No, I need you to roll a swim check.

Markus: OK.

Taury: But that's because you untied the rope.

Ishmael: Well no the untying of the rope was- Ooooh! 

Loyal: Eeeei! 

Taury: Yikes!

GM: All Right.

Loyal: A 3!

GM: You get dragged over this way a little bit with the current. As Loyal enters the room.

Loyal: [Laughs] Oh god! It's small, and I don't like it. I mean, I guess I'll attempt the same thing to cut myself free.

GM: Oh you're cutting yourself free? OK.

Ishmael: [Chuckles]

Loyal: Well because we have, like, ropes attached to the main rope yeah?

GM: Yeah, which rope are you cutting?

Loyal: I'm cutting the one attached to me, not the main rope. I'm not an idiot.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: Yeah, yeah, which one is that?

Taury: Just untie it. Please just unite it.

Loyal: Fine. I'll just untie it... See what happens.

GM: You untie yourself.

Loyal: OK, so apparently I just needed a 10.

GM: And swim check.

Loyal: I'll attempt to swim... Yep, that's what I expected.

GM: OK. That's what you need. 

Loyal: Ah! 

GM: Where you headed?

Loyal: Up?

GM: All right, you swim straight up, we'll move you over a little bit.

Loyal: Needed a 5.

GM: Welcome to the party Morana.

Morana: All right. Yeah gonna try to untie myself then.

GM: The crab begins noticing you all now and-

Ishmael: I would like a ready an action just to keep tossing it food.

GM: OK. So every time, like, it finishes food and turns attention, you're tossing it more rations?

Ishmael: Yeah, yeah, yeah, do you want me to make another handle animal or?

GM: No, you're good.

Ishmael: OK, waiting for it to get hungry, finished like-

GM: It's gone through two rations now.

Ishmael: OK. It's fine.

GM: What are you doing, Morana?

Morana: All right, well, from the decision you gave Loyal, I don't see how it wouldn't be simple to tell the difference between the rope attached to the crab and the rope attached to my waist. But OK?

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: Oh yeah, just let me know what you're doing.

Morana: Yeah I'm leaving the rope that's attached to the crab alone, and cutting the one that's around my waist so I can swim up.

GM: All right, so you cut close to your waist.

Morana: Yes.

GM: OK. And a swim check.

Ishmael: Holy shit!

Loyal: Nat 20.

GM: See Loyal wasn't being clear about what he was doing. All right.

Markus: I mean, All right then! [Laughs]

GM: [Laughs] Go ahead and move where you would like to go.

Fenwarin: Cheers!

Taury: [Laughs]

Morana: Going straight up.

GM: Straight up as well. All right, we'll put you right there, which then moves the line further in.

Fenwarin: Yup, same procedure.

GM: As?

Fenwarin: As Morana and the rest.

GM: OK.

Markus: Well, some of us untied, some of us cut. Which would you like to do?

Taury: Yeah.

Fenwarin: I guess I would untie.

GM: Give me a sleight of hand check.

Fenwarin: OK. And 12.

GM: 12. Well done, give me a swim check.

Fenwarin: Yay. OK, that's good enough. 10.

GM: That is good enough.

Loyal: It's good enough.

GM: Where are you swimming to?

Fenwarin: I'm also swimming up.

GM: All right, those of you that swam up are on the surface able to breathe. Ishmael and Markus are both still under the water. Taury, welcome to the cave.

Taury: Yay.

Loyal: It's tiny and I hate it.

Taury: You know what they say, last one in, first one out.

GM: Yeah, so you going back out into the ocean?

Taury: [Laughs] Yeah fuck that! Nah.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Fuck this!

Ishmael: Nope out.

Morana: Fuck this shit, I'm out!

Taury: They think I would though, is the best part of it. They think "no wait she might actually do that!"

Loyal: I don't think you would. I don't think you would.

Taury: Yes, so she would cut the rope around her waist with her like nails, instead of like untying. It's probably a mixture of untying it and cutting it.

GM: Your nails are that sharp? 

Taury: Uh huh.

GM: Interesting.

GM: And swim check.

Taury: Yep this will go so poorly, but we'll see. A!

Loyal: A -2?! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Oh!

Loyal: Ah hah!

GM: All right. Not only do you manage to not swim anywhere, the currents don't even move you as you just sink down onto the floor.

Taury: Yep. No.

GM: All right, the three of you at the surface, what would you like to do? You can see an exit right here by Fen and another plateau type exit over here.

Loyal: I'm not going to swim over the crowd. I'm going to get up onto here.

GM: OK, swim checks.

Loyal: Oh god. OK, I'll take that, a straight 18.

Fenwarin: Good one.

GM: All right, Loyal, as you climb out onto here, you see a door right here.

Loyal: Cool. I'm going to leave it alone for now.

GM: Anyone else swimming over?

Markus: Yeah. 

Morana: Yeah, I'm going for the nearer-

Fenwarin: Yeah the same way Loyal-

Taury: Taury's just trying to reach the surface.

Loyal: I'll make more room then.

Markus: Yeah, I would really like to get to the surface.

Morana: What?!

Loyal: That's another nat 20! Wow!

Fenwarin: Oh my god. Oh my god.

Taury: He gets a nat 20 twice with his -2! I got a -2! Can we talk about that? [Laughs]

GM: [Laughs] No.

Taury: Damn it.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: You are the next in line to make your swim check.

Fenwarin: OK... Oof!

Taury: 5 is the DC though right?

GM: It is good enough to get you five feet over onto this ledge.

Ishmael: Nice.

GM: Those of you out of the water, the sound of sloshing water fills the room, which is almost entirely collapsed into a large tide pool. What few walls do remain intact here bare detailed and impressive carvings of incredible treasuries filled to overflowing with coins, gems, jewelry and other items of value. To the east the walls depict a carving of a towering mountain, its peak carved in the shape of a stern face just above a great palace. Below the side of the mountain's valley cradles an immense city of spires. (I didn't read this for any of you. I only read it for Ishmael when he first came into the pool.) The pool is the remains of what must have once been an incredible treasury. Lying at the bottom of the sloshing waters shattered urns, a crumbled stone chest, rusted bits of once beautiful armors and weapons and other long ruined treasures from an ancient past lie below. Most impressive of them is a large coral encrusted helmet sized for a giant measuring nearly five feet across, and its full face guard bears an expression of twisted rage and fangs. The helm itself appears to be made of gold. This is the home of this giant crab.

Markus: OK.

Loyal: That's valuable.

Taury: Try and mine the cave.

Markus: Not yet

Loyal: We will come back for that.

GM: All right.

Markus: Some of us still need to get to the surface. 

All: [Laugh]

Taury: Listen, you're telling me, bro, I don't know why you're telling me.

GM: Yeah, Markus, you are floating around in the water, kind of at its mercy at the moment, would you like to give us another swim check?... 16, where would you like to go?

Markus: To the surface and then get out of the water.

GM: All right, there is no place to stand at the moment on this little ledge.

Loyal: It's very full.

Markus: So I'll need to-

GM: You can choose To come over here.

Markus: Yeah, I'll need to, yeah.

GM: Ok, you'll get to about there and you will see rounding this corner that there is a door right here. Taury.

Taury: Swim check or should we just call it a drown check?

Loyal: Certainly an option. Hey!

Taury: A! It's 11!

GM: OK. You make it to the surface and where would you like to head?

Taury: That's a pretty crowded ledge, right? Where Fenwarin, Morana and Loyal are.

GM: Yes.

Loyal: There's zero room.

GM: It is full.

Taury: Yeah, no. She would head probably around the crab to where markus is.

GM: OK.

Taury: Around the way he went as well. Whatever way the crab isn't facing.

GM: Well, there's not much of an option there.

Markus: Well, the crab's at the bottom, we're at the top. 

Taury: Oh so above it?

GM: Yeah.

Markus: Basically yeah.

Taury: Yeah, because we're all-

GM: You're about 30 feet above it.

Taury: Yeah, so I'll be swimming over it.

GM: All right. Ishmael, you're still tied off on to all this, what would you like to do?

Ishmael: I'd like to look up, do I see that they're getting like, you know, three of them are out and then the other two are just floating?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: OK, cool. I would like to wait for them to not be in the water too.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: So I'm continuing to play distraction.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: I'd like to prepare an action to roll another handle animal if it notices Taury, or Markus and starts trying to go up towards them, and then just start distracting him with more food, like if I have to punch food into its face. Sure. But won't do that though.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: Or just be live bait.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: Your true destiny. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah.

Morana: Crab moves, Ishmael throws food, crab "Ooh a piece of candy!"

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs] Ooh another one!

GM: That is exactly what is happening. 

All: [Laugh]

Taury: That's great.

Ishmael: I'm waiting until they're like- so let it play out until they're out of the water and then come back to me.

GM: Yeah, OK. So we need another swim check from Markus and Taury.

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Taury: Oh!

GM: All right Markus, you begin sinking below the waves again as Taury swims over you.

Taury: Can she try and grab him at the same time if she sees him going under?

GM: Yeah sure. Give me a reflex save.

Taury: Cool.

Loyal: Ooh!

GM: Very nice! You pull Markus back to the surface without pushing yourself back under.

Taury: I'd imagine she'd like grab his cloak or something.

Markus: "Thank you."

GM: You can drag him over. Yeah so door right there, everyone's out of the water but you Ishmael.

Ishmael: Cool, I would like to cut the rope at my waist, and so essentially I imagine I would have tied the rope around, you know, like had the scabbard, my sword in between the rope and my waist. Just open it and let it cut. And I just, I guess, toss a good bit of food in front of it and start trying to float up.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: So how many have gone through now? Like I imagine I have at least close to ten right? And I've used two so far, I imagine I've used another two?

GM: You will use a total of five as you toss this last little bit towards it.

Ishmael: OK, cool.

GM: Because you're not really concerned with how much you're throwing, you're just wanting to distract it.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: For a period of time.

Ishmael: An 8 to just start floating up? 

GM: Yeah. 

Ishmael: Like keeping dead eyed on this crab as I like float up, yeah. So am I at the surface now?

GM: Yeah, Markus is at the surface now.

Ishmael: Oh good. Can I make another swim check to get onto land or something? You know that's-

GM: Yes, you may.

Ishmael: Cool.

GM: It looks like over here has got room for you.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: To the west.

Ishmael: Like Ishmael will call out quietly to the others, "So everybody up? Everybody ready? Like is that a no or yes?"

Loyal: Loyal will mumble "Yeah."

Taury: Probably hyperventilating.

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: After half drowning

Loyal: Well, catching our breath. Yeah.

Markus: Yeah.

Ishmael: Like I would just, "I guess I take it we should wait until we catch our breaths?"

Loyal: "Let's yeah, catch our breath."

Markus: "Yeah. Yeah."

Taury: Squeezing out the water out of our cloaks and shit.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus: Markus is dragging his heavy coat out of his backpack and putting it back on again.

Ishmael: Ishmael like tilts his hat to just let the water pour out of it.

Loyal: Drying off all of my alchemical agents.

Ishmael: And then he's like, "Yeah. All right, cool. So let me know when you guys are ready I guess."

Loyal: "Well there's two doors, you got one over there, we got one over here."

GM: As you guys are communicating across, you see the crab, finish its meals and begin swimming towards you, at which point the rope that's still anchored to it hits that cave entrance and starts arcing it back, it is not actually able to swim towards you. 

All: [Laugh]

GM: Because of its anchor.

Ishmael: Get fucked crab!

Taury: That's great!

Loyal: "Regardless, that rope's not going to last forever. Let's go."

Ishmael: "Like is everybody dried off? Caught their breath or not hyperventilating, freaking out because water is scary apparently?"

Markus: "Let's go."

Taury: Well it's hyperventilating because our lungs are full of water, not because we're scared. [Laughs]

Ishmael: You had an air bladder right? It's Fine.

Loyal: "All right let's go. I think we should just go at this point." Who's opening what door? Are we just simultaneous, OK, this goes a different way.

Taury: I'd like to do a perception check to see if we can hear anything on the other side of the door before we open it

Ishmael: I would like to make a perception check to see if these doors are trapped.

GM: Oh, right. 

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Uh! I just opened it, it's fine, I'm not thinking straight, it's opened it's fine.

Morana: Yeah I was going to suggest this one be checked before Loyal opens it.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Morana: Yeah.

Ishmael: 14 yeah, there you go. "What about you, Markus? You got this buddy check for traps?"

GM: Yeah, no traps, nothing to be heard from the other side of these doors. The only thing of note from these perception checks is a bit of glistening in the light from Fenwarin's iuon torch, down to the bottom of this pool, you now see gemstones scattered about.

Loyal: Oh fuck!

Fenwarin: Ooh.

Loyal: Now I want them.

Markus: "Not why we're here."

Loyal: "Yeah."

Markus: "We can deal with it later."

Loyal: "We'll come back for it."

Morana: "Who's we? You got a mouse in your pocket?"

Ishmael: "You can bargain with the crab."

GM: That reminds me of Markus' friend.

Loyal: Yeah!

Taury: Oh, shit.

Loyal: I was going to say, doesn't he have a familiar?

GM: What was the con score for your familiar?

Markus: Same as Markus' 10.

Taury: Oh no.

Loyal: Ok. All right. He's good.

GM: Ok, it's held it's breath successfully then.

Markus: Yes

Loyal: Poor little guy.

Taury: Don't you dare Furtive! 

Markus: No, I was well aware of it, yeah, Markus was going to be giving his familiar air before he gave himself air.

GM: Your little flying squirrel thing.

Ishmael: So I guess, are we able to peek through the whatchamacallit like? 

Markus: Key hole? 

Ishmael: Like do ours connect? Like, "Where does your guys door lead?"

Loyal: "South."

Ishmael: "Like I mean, I don't think they connect or lead to the same place."

Loyal: "I don't think they do. Which is an issue."

Ishmael: "Ok, so."

Loyal: "Which means we're going to have to relocate." 

Fenwarin: "It's probably best."

Ishmael: All right, so a question GM. Does ours lead up or down?

GM: Your staircase leads up.

Ishmael: Does your guys lead up or down?

Loyal: Neither it's just a hallway.

Markus: "Yeah, they don't go to the same place."

Morana: "No, I'm pretty sure I see stairs at the very corner of my vision."

Loyal: I can't see it. In that case, do they look like they go up or down?

GM: Enter the hallway to find out.

Loyal: I'll 5 feet into the hallway and peer around the corner.

GM: They appear to lead up.

Loyal: Ok, well, maybe they do go to the same place.

Ishmael: Do we want to roll the dice on that? And split the party?

Loyal: Yeah, I was going to say, do we want to fucking risk splitting the party? My guess is no.

Taury: We've done it already and we've survived every time we've done it, but that's not that's-

Ishmael: Yeah, it's-

Loyal: I feel like survive, might not necessarily be the goal- might be the bar to shoot for here. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Taury: We did, though.

Ishmael: We're still here are we not?

Taury: I mean, you didn't want to go past the crab and we did that, so.

Loyal: I don't want to do a lot of things that we still do.

Taury: I'm not saying someone's, you know, a little yellowbelly, but someone might be a little yellowbelly. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: I mean, I'm not arguing but I'm not.

Markus: While we're here, Markus will take a moment to collect himself, say a few words and make a gesture. Taury you would have seen him do a similar thing when we were stood on the shore and Ishmael disappeared.

Taury: OK.

Ishmael: Spellcraft?

GM: OK.

Markus: Not casting a spell.

GM: But you do identify spell effects.

Markus: Oh, yeah, fair point.

Ishmael: Yes, then would it be a follow up arkana to identify the spell, or is that just all spellcraft?

GM: It's not a spell, it would be another spellcraft.

Ishmael: OK. There you go.

Markus: Technically, this isn't a spell-like this is a supernatural. 

GM: But it is magics.

Markus: Yeah, it is... OK, would that be enough to identify it?

GM: Yes.

Markus: OK, one second, messaging on Discord. It's easier.

Ishmael: I mean, while he's doing this, Ishmael's also- Ishmael would cast prestidigitation to dry himself off and cast it again on Taury to just dry her off because, you know, rusted armor, as you know.

Taury: It's an issue.

Ishmael: Yeah. It's a dishonor to her god.

Taury: Yeah.

Markus: Markus will attempt to do something similar and succeed.

Ishmael: "All right, so we're waiting for everybody to move over here or?"

Loyal: "I don't know, I guess are we going over there to them?"

Ishmael: "I mean, there's more room over here, guys."

Loyal: That's fair, I kind of look at them and go like, "Do we want to go over?"

Fenwarin: "I guess we do yeah."

Loyal: All right, is the crab still stuck?

GM: Unknown.

Fenwarin: Oh, that's great!

Loyal: Do we at least see the crab?

Fenwarin: Regardless, I'm going in first, I think, or should I do a perception check first?

Morana: Morana just leans down, sticks her head in the water to check.

Fenwarin: And then decapitated. [Laughs]

Morana: Do I see crab?

GM: Yeah, it is at the surface, right where it is is. [Fumbles] It is is is.

Fenwarin: It is is is. [Laughs]

Morana: It cut the rope didn't it?

Loyal: I assume it cut the rope yeah.

Ishmael: Damn, I knew I should have taken care of that fucking claw!

Markus: No. Remember the entrance is below the water, so as it goes up, the rope will pull it closer to the entrance.

Taury: Mm hmm.

Markus: So it might not necessarily have cut it yet.

Taury: So you don't know shit.

Ishmael: Well Fen, remember, you have your emergency oh-shit-throw-food-and-hope-it-doesn't-kill-me.

Morana: All right, do I see the rope still attached to it? Is the rope taut?

GM: Perception... Yes and yes.

Morana: All right, Morana pulls her head back out of the water says, "If we hug the wall we should be able to avoid it. It looks as though it's still bound up."

Loyal: "Regardless, do we have any food left?"

Fenwarin: "Yeah, I have on me."

Ishmael: "Yeah, like you each have two rations."

Loyal: All right, let's throw some food at it.

Ishmael: [Laughs] We're slowly taming it, cuts rope, comes out after us, you know, demanding more food, killing anything in its way.

Loyal: It's like "more".

Taury: It's kind of like the equivalent of like taking the crab on walkies, right?

GM: It ignores the food.

Ishmael: Oh it ignores the food?! "Oh. Well, good luck!"

Taury: [Laughs] Rip.

Loyal: [Laughs] It want more food, and bigger food now.

GM: No. Loyal you're aware because of your earlier nature check and ecology question, it's territorial.

Loyal: Ah shit!

Taury: [Laughs] That awkward moment when your cowardice gets you killed!

Loyal: I tell them that before they jump in, "Its territorial."

Fenwarin: "OK."

Loyal: So we're gonna stare off with the crab. [Laughs]

GM: It's had its fill, now it wants to defend its area.

Taury: Who had the rope and how much rope did we have left or do we have any left?

Ishmael: We have a full rope left.

Taury: Yeah, so throw them the rope, tie the rope to them and pull them back. It's faster than swimming and they're not swimming.

Loyal: It's just kind of like looking at us right now? 

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: I guess I try and lasso Fen. Do I need to make a roll like to hit him or? 

GM: Yeah. 

Ishmael: OK. All right.

GM: Just a range.

Ishmael: Just a range? OK.

GM: This is dex based.

Ishmael: Yeah. It's 7. Like I want to try and hit the square that he's in and then he can try and put it on him and then I will yank his ass over here, or me and Taury will.

Taury: Yeah, Taury would be helping.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: So does Fen secure himself?

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Ishmael: Or grab it. OK, yeah, we yank- Strength check right? 

GM: Yeah.

Taury: From both or from Ishmael?

Ishmael: 18.

GM: Just Ishmael is fine, that's enough.

Ishmael: Like I want to yank him out, at least out of the area, like, you know, out of the crab's range. Is he pulled to safety? 

GM: Yup. 

Ishmael: OK, cool.

Fenwarin: So can I just take place behind Taury now? 

Taury: [Laughs] His usual spot which is hiding behind Terry.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] Ishmael will like lob the rope right back out into the same area and like tell the next person, "All right go ahead and grab the rope. We'll yank you over." Another strength check?

Morana: Morana will tie herself off.

Ishmael: All right, 10. is that enough? I feel like there isn't that much resistance in water, but there would be resistance, like.

GM: Were you ready for that Morana?

Morana: Yes, she would have been ready.

GM: OK.

Ishmael: But we're going to need to start clearing out some room, yeah. All right here's the next one. 9.

Loyal: When you initially throw it to him, Loyal, is just kind of like almost staring off into space as if to be distracted by something, and then kind of shakes himself out of it.

Ishmael: So do I need to make another one to grab him?

GM: Yep.

Ishmael: All right, there you go. That's an 18 to yank him.

Taury: Does Loyal scream the whole way?

Loyal: No, he's just like [growls], he does not look happy about what's going on.

Ishmael: It's fine, prestidigitation to dry everyone off again because they had to get back in the water.

Loyal: "Thanks."

Ishmael: "Yeah, it's fine. See, crab didn't kill us. You guys didn't drown. I count this as a success." 

Loyal: “Yeah."

Markus: "Yeah, yeah, now. Well, Onward? Or do people need to dry themselves off again."

Ishmael: "I mean, I-"

Fenwarin: "Oh shit!" 

Ishmael: "Oh! Oh!"

Loyal: "It's moving closer!"

Ishmael: "Oh, shit!"

Loyal: "Onward! Onward! Now! Let's go!"

Ishmael: Did it cut the rope?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: "Oh, shit! Uh well."

Loyal: "Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!"

Fenwarin: "Oh shit!" [Laughs]

Taury: [Laughs] We're going through the doorway, without hesitation I would imagine. 

Ishmael: Yeah, just like, "You guys go ahead, I got it!"

Loyal: "Bad crab! Bad Crab!"

Ishmael: "I hope I got it!"

Markus: Ok, well, if people are leaving, can people actually leave on the map?

Fenwarin: [Laughs] 

Morana: Yeah I'm waiting for Loyal.

Loyal: I guess I'm taking the lead.

Taury: Well, Taury's going to defend you from the crab. Like-

Loyal: Ok, that's fair. I peer around the corners.

GM: All right, Ishmael, it's going to attack you once.

Ishmael: Yup, yup. "All right. Yes, hello, I'm sorry friend!"

Taury: Can Taury cast guidance on him just as that happens?

Ishmael: Well, I mean, would that give me a bonus to AC? 

GM: No.

Taury: No, but it will give you your next attack, if you attack it.

Ishmael: I mean, I don't plan to-

GM: And it's second attack.

Ishmael: Oh, shit.

Loyal: Ooh.

Ishmael: All right was the second attack with the big arm or little arm?

GM: With the big one.

Loyal: Eeuh!

Ishmael: Shite! Ah yeah it's fine. It's OK. He'll be OK. It'll be OK. It hits! [Laughs] Wait!

Loyal: I think a 29 hits.

Ishmael: Wait! Wait a minute! Now, do we have hero points? I can't remember if we're doing hero points or not.

Taury: We do.

GM: Yeah, THEY do!

Taury: But you don't.

GM: You don't yet.

Ishmael: That is fair. 

Loyal: [Laughs] Rip!

Ishmael: Shit.

Loyal: Ooh! That's max damage.

GM: 10 points of damage.

Ishmael: Ow! Ow that sucks.

GM: And-

Loyal: Yep.

GM: -it gets a free grapple attempt.

Loyal: Yep. That sucks.

Ishmael: Yeah. Like I wanted to like be able to initiate action to close. But like-

Taury: But you have a +1 now.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Waiting for the grapple... Ooh!

Ishmael: Oh!

Taury: Oi!

Ishmael: Ah this-

Loyal: +14! What the fuck?

Taury: That's crabish bullshit!

Ishmael: Yeah, it's crab- Yeah, that got me, it got me.

GM: You are now grappled by a giant crab.

Ishmael: Ah son of a bitch! Shit.

Morana: If only I had bigger fire spells, I'd turn that crab into a hot pot.

Ishmael: Now, would you like me to roll my initiative?

GM: I would. And anyone else who's going to be fighting.

Taury: Taury will be fighting.

Fenwarin: Ok.

Loyal: I assume all of us.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: ...Fuck

Morana: Ooh, there's that nat 1. 

Loyal: Yeah. 

Morana: You know what?? For an initiative roll that's fine by me.

Loyal: And 22 on the crab huh?

Ishmael: Mine was actually a 13, I won't cheat.

GM: OK, so the crab's going first.

Ishmael: Well, yeah.

GM: It will constrict damage on you.

Ishmael: "Ow! Dammit fucking stop!"

Loyal: Ow. Stop. [Quoting Ishmael in Valley Girl accent]

Taury: "Jesus."

Loyal: "Ow."

GM: And it will then attempt to drag you underwater.

Ishmael: That's fucking rude!

Taury: I mean, rude doesn't really come into it when you've broken and entered into it's house. 

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: It does maintain the grapple to do so.

Ishmael: Ok, I'm in the water now. Oh shit!

GM: Yeah. You are off the ledge and into the water.

Ishmael: Oh no. Oh shit! I might have to reroll a character. Shit!

GM: Taury.

Taury: Are they both underwater?

GM: They're not underwater yet.

Taury: OK. See, I want to cast fire belly, but I also don't want to, you know, burn Ishmael where he stands. So-

Ishmael: Yeah. 

Loyal: They're in water.

Taury: Yeah, but the bits of them that are above water would be on fire.

Ishmael: How much damage does fire belly do?

Taury: 1D4.

Ishmael: Is it a cone or is it a targeted?

Taury: It's a cone.

Ishmael: When do you start to do it? Just do it? I want it to let go of me so I can get out of this.

Loyal: Do it!

Taury: Well, it's one minute per level, so it's three minutes of fire.

Ishmael: Ok. I'm not scared. Friend.

Taury: I'm not saying that you're scared, I want you to survive it. I don't want to be the one that kills your character!

Loyal: Not scared do it.

Ishmael: [Chuckles]

Taury: You want to risk it?

Ishmael: Yeah do it. Yeah why not?

Taury: Yeah, do I gotta role to do it or do I just cast it?

GM: Let's see for fire belly... they will get a save.

Ishmael: I get a save also right?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Is it a reflex or a fort?

Taury: A reflex. I think?

GM: For the next, however, many minutes, three minutes, -yeah, it'll be a reflex for half damage.- as a standard action, you can breathe a 15 foot cone of flame that deals, 1D4 points of fire damage, reflex for half. Each time you use this weapon, reduce the remaining duration of the spell by one minute so you can use it three times total.

Ishmael: Also, yeah, that's a 6. Sorry, I didn't mean to- I rolled my fort instead of my reflex.

GM: Nice. 

Loyal: Still fails. 

Ishmael: You don't know. Shut up dammit. 

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: It rolled a 15. (I need to set its thing to not whisper anymore). Does a 15 beat your DC?

Taury: Don't know, how do I figure out the DC?

Ishmael: There'll be 10 plus spell level plus caster mod.

Taury: So it'd be 14?

Ishmael: Yes, unless you have, like, special focus or something.

Taury: I don't think so. 

Ishmael: Then yeah.

GM: All right, it will take half the damage.

Ishmael: How much damage is being dealt?

Taury: 1D4

Ishmael: Would you like to roll it?

Taury: Yeah.

Ishmael: Ow.

Taury: That's great. Is that what it takes? 1 damage?

GM: It takes 1 point of damage. Markus.

Markus: Yeah, I sent a question, can I get an answer on that please?

GM: I think you would know.

Markus: OK, so could I have done two at the same time?

GM: You can.

Markus: So I can say it's active at the moment on Ishmael?

GM: OK, yeah.

Markus: Yeah, OK, Ishmael, I'm assuming you've lost more than 5 hit points?

Ishmael: Yes, I'm at 21 out of 42.

Markus: Gain 5.

Ishmael: OK, buddy.

GM: And then immediately take 10, or rather lose them again.

Ishmael: So I lose 5 hit points or just gain nothing?

GM: Well, no, instead of gaining, you lose them.

Markus: No I lose them.

GM: No, he does.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Oh!

Ishmael: Ow.

Taury: Wait! What?!

Ishmael: Well, OK, "OK, whatever you're doing, stop!"

Markus: OK as an immediate action I will suspend that.

Ishmael: "Oh, god. Why would you do that?" All right, did I lose 10 points or do I just lose 5?

GM: You lose 5.

Ishmael: Ok, wooh that's less scary, but, yeah, "Please stop whatever you're doing and stop that now! Ow."

Markus: "Oh. Right. OK." Yeah, that's gonna throw Markus for a loop slightly.

GM: Yeah, Markus, you would have also taken the 5 damage,

Markus: Yeah, yeah.

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: My character's murdered by my party trying to help me?!

All: [Laugh]

Markus: Yeah, well, that's what you get when you don't tell people about these sorts of things.

Ishmael: Well, you know, that hasn't come up yet. I mean-

Taury: Oh, wait, no nevermind.

Markus: Yeah.

Ishmael: But is that-? Yeah, yeah, I guess that is how it would work. Rules as written are weird, how it's written is weird. Like 'cause it heals, but it doesn't say anything about like, you know, negative or positive. But I'll leave that up to you GM.

GM: Yeah, it's specifically referred to with a certain term.

Ishmael: "Heals"? Yeah, it would be different if it would be "regains". Yeah, that's fair.

GM: Life.

Ishmael: Ha ha!

Markus: Yeah.

Ishmael: Also fair.

Markus: I don't want to cast a spell and given that it's grappled, it's going to be... Yeah Markus is going to skip the rest of his turn.

Ishmael: Wait.

GM: Ok.

Ishmael: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Markus, do you have open close?

Markus: No.

Ishmael: Damn it!

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: How likely is it for me to hit the crab with a with my wand?

GM: Very, because the wand is (as long as it activates) an auto hit.

Fenwarin: Ok, I was just thinking about the grapple, but that's good. I will try that then, just aim for the crab.

Ishmael: 1D100? What?

Fenwarin: Yes, my spell chance on my wand.

Ishmael: Oh OK gotcha. He's like freaking out like, "OK, like, wait. What what kind of busted-ass wand you got boy?" [Laughs]

Fenwarin: "Well, it's cursed. That's for one." [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] But it's also magic missile level three, so it's three bolts.

Ishmael: Yeah. Oh, shit.

Fenwarin: What was the damage on them again?

Loyal: D4+1 yeah?

Fenwarin: 1D4+1, yeah, OK.

Ishmael: Oh, wouldn't it be 1D4+3?

GM: Yeah, because it's one per D4.

Ishmael: Yeah, so I bet that's a 10. "Good job buddy."

Fenwarin: Oh OK. Nice.

GM: All right. It's now Ishmael.

Ishmael: OK, question: Like legit, I want to try something stupid and crazy Furtive!

GM: Uh huh.

Ishmael: So this claw it opens and closes, can I cast that and open his claw to get out?

GM: No.

Ishmael: Damn it! Fuck! All right then.

GM: Open and close has a weight limit attached to it.

Ishmael: Oh does it?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: OK. Yeah, yeah. 30 Pounds, ah shit!

Taury: I'd imagine this hermit's like helmut probably adds to the weight.

Loyal: I like it, I like it, I like the idea. I like where your head's at.

Ishmael: Shit.

GM: Yeah, if it wasn't for the weight limit, totally would have allowed it.

Ishmael: Damn it. Damn you weight limits! Right. Oh fuck. I draw- fuck. So I'm kind of terrified right now. OK, so because I'm at like 16 HP right now, this son of a bitch has got his hold on me. I don't like it at all. It's very mean, and hurtful, and rude. All right let's see.

Taury: You don't have escape artist by any chance?

Ishmael: I do.

Taury: That might be helpful.

Ishmael: That's very true. That's a CMB to get out right?

GM: Or escape artist.

Ishmael: Yeah. Which DC's lower?

GM: It's the same.

Ishmael: Ok, then I'd like to CMB to try and get out.

Loyal: Oh!

Fenwarin: Woah!

Taury: Nice!

Ishmael: Flex.

Loyal: Nice, natural fucking 20!

GM: Nat 20.

Ishmael: Flex I guess?

Loyal: Hell yeah!

GM: That gets you out.

Ishmael: Can I get on to shore please?

GM: Swim check.

Ishmael: Oh god! No! No! 

Taury: [Laughs] Drowns anyway.

Fenwarin: Here comes the nat 1.

Ishmael: He just dies... OH!

Loyal: NO!

Ishmael: WHAT?!

Loyal: It's another natural 20!

Ishmael: Oh!

Fenwarin: Holy shit!

Ishmael: I yeet myself up on the shore as far as I can away from crab. "Fuck you crab! Everybody through the door. Everybody through the door!"

Loyal: [Laughs] "Go, go ,go ,go go!"

Ishmael: "Door! Door! Please for the love of god! That hurt. God damn it. Ow! Leave!"

GM: Loyal.

Loyal: Seeing him yell everyone through the door. I'll just like-

Ishmael: Well, it isn't so much yelling, it's more like "Out! Out! Go, go, go, go, go. Leave."

Loyal: Yeah. I will take my crossbow out and I will essentially back up some, and I'll aim it in case the crab comes down here. I'll ready that. Fire at the crab if I see it."

GM: Morana.

Morana: Hmm.

Taury: If this crab is grabbing me, I hope we're prepared for that.

Morana: Morana moves back down the stairs, and behind Taury.

GM: This is the opposite of the instructions. Just so you're aware.

Ishmael: "Yes, and what are you people doing? What are you people doing?"

Morana: I am quite aware.

Loyal: [Laughs]

Morana: She starts chanting under her breath and begins casting something. And let me see, that's 5, 10, 15... It's on the surface right?

GM: Yes.

Morana: OK, something around her feels weird, but it's hard to say what, but yes, she's just standing there chanting and that's going to end my turn.

Ishmael: 17 on a spellcraft to figure out what the fuck she's doing and why she isn't listening to go. It's the opposite of what I said.

Morana: Well, let's see, that would be- to identify that I'm not sure what that would mean.

Markus: And Markus will try to identify that as well.

Morana: Oh, Markus definitely would. I will DM you.

GM: OK. While that's all happening, the giant crab is approaching Taury.

Taury: Uh huh. Take me, yeah.

GM: 20 hits.

Taury: What is it?

Ishmael: A 20 against your AC.

Taury: AC? no, it doesn't.

Loyal: Hoo hoo!

GM: Oh, a 20 misses you now?

Taury: Yup.

Loyal: Hell yeah!

GM: Very nice.

Loyal: New armor mother fucker.

GM: Second attack...

Loyal: Well.

GM: Even worse.

Ishmael: Yes.

Taury: Yeah, it got demoralized, is what happened.

Loyal: Fuck you crab.

GM: All right, it is now your turn, Taury.

Taury: Sweet.

Fenwarin: Just cleave the bastard!

Taury: Yeah, I'll just cleave the bastard.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Taury: No I'm not doing that. I suppose at this point, it's close enough to actually hit with a melee attack wouldn't it be?

GM: Yeah.

Taury: So then I'll do that instead. Seeing as it's pretty close I will draw out my switch scythe and swing for it aiming to, like, cut its claw off.

Loyal: Cut it's fucken claw off.

Taury: You know, as it has like reached for me, I would imagine that's where she would swing.

GM: Ok. That will miss.

Taury: Of course it does.

Loyal: Fucken crabs.

Taury: Of course it does.

GM: As you hit the shell on the claw and just scrape along it.

Loyal: Fucking high AC crab!

Taury: Yeah. Well, it's because it's wearing a helmet guys! [Laughs]

Loyal: [Laughs] It's wearing a helmet.

Taury: Oh, that 11 damage would have been so nice though.

Loyal: Yeah, it's like 1 below max.

GM: Markus.

Markus: Yeah, I'm just trying to think....

Taury: Could you move down the stairs so we could run away?

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, I can definitely do that.

Ishmael: Yeah, like I would like to leave this horrible murder pit with this crab that almost killed me.

Loyal: [Laughs] But there are gems in the horrible murder pit.

Ishmael: We'll come back for the gems.

Taury: We can come back, we're going to be leaving this way, hopefully.

Loyal: I know.

Markus: The rule about moving through people, is that allowed?

Ishmael: Yeah, you can move through your allies, you just can't end your turn in their square.

Markus: So Markus will move to there then.

GM: All right. Fenwarin.

Ishmael: I'm also going to back off downstairs, and that's my turm.

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael: Cool. Ishmael will go like, "Are you guys like- what the fuck are-? [Sighs] Just." Like will hold the door and just kind of wait. Like he'll move to here, like preparing an action to, you know, help in some way. So.

GM: I need to know what that "some way" is.

Ishmael: I'm just going to be there ready to just, like, pull anybody past me that needs to be pulled past. That make sense?

GM: OK. Loyal. 

Loyal: I guess I will continue aiming Crossbow in case crab comes this way.

GM: Morana.

Morana: Morana, her chanting gets louder as she holds up the doll and her other hand comes up and has a needle in it, and as she reaches the end of the chant, suddenly she brings the needle down and stabs it through the chest of the doll. And that's going to be range touch.

Loyal: Against Ishmael.

Ishmael: Oh, no. [Laughs]

Loyal: Oh.

Morana: Oh, that sucks.

Loyal: That's not great.

Morana: Maybe because it's touch though?

Loyal: I mean, in theory.

GM: That will still miss.

Morana: Ah well. Let me see if that does anything on a miss... No, I don't think so.

Loyal: F, F.

Ishmael: Then will you flee?

Morana: Well, no, because that's a full around, so.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: Giant crab, two attacks on Taury.

Taury: Mm hmm.

Ishmael: Ooh no!

Loyal: Oh!

GM: That is a crit chance!

Fenwarin: Oh shit.

Taury: Mm hmm.

GM: Rolling to confirm the crit chance.

Ishmael: No.

Loyal: Oh, didn't confirm.

GM: It is not confirmed.

Loyal: Still nat 20, but ooh.

GM: Rolling for the grab... Does that beat your combat maneuver defense? CMD.

Taury: Ah man, which is 15.

Loyal: Fuck!

GM: You are grabbed. And take 7 points of damage.

Loyal: Oh min dam.

Taury: I said it could have been worse.

Loyal: Minimum damage, but like-

Ishmael: Yeah it could have been could have been 10 and then you know-

Loyal: It could have been a crit, to be fair.

GM: Taury, it's now your turn.

Taury: OK, great, great. All right, give me a second. Oh yeah, well that was always your math than I was anticipating, here's me putting 27 minus 7 into a calculator and being like, "Oh, wait!" 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Math is hard, but that is a number-

Taury: Yeah. I was like, wow! I just assumed I wasn't going to be able to mentally do that. And I then was like, wow, that's dumb. So apologies for wasting your time. Anyway. OK, so I presume all I can do is try and escape the grapple.

Ishmael: Yup, CMD or B?

Taury: It's a CMB right?

GM: Yeah. Or an escape artist

Loyal: Oh fucking-

Taury: Yeah.

GM: You can attempt again.

Taury: Ok. Would 18 do it?

GM: It does not.

Loyal: [Growls]

Taury: Course it doesn't.

GM: You remain grabbled. Markus.

Markus: Ok, Taury, heal 5 hit points. 

Taury: Yay! I can do that maths too.

GM: That works.

Markus: Yeah. Move action: pull out the wand of cure light wounds and cast it on myself.

Ishmael: OK.

Taury: Not your dying teammate?! 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: Ishmael. I thought you were gonna do it on Ishmael.

Ishmael: Why would you do that? No! 

GM: Fenwarin.

Ishmael: Yep. I might as well move up a bit and try and shoot the crab again.

GM: All right, Ishmael.

Ishmael: Cool, I approach, draw my sword or my weapon and attack. As a free action I give it a +1 damage if it hits... A 13?

GM: Does not hit.

Ishmael: Ah shit.

Loyal: Fucking crab.

GM: Loyal.

Loyal: Oh, I don't want to throw a bomb it'll hurt everyone.

Ishmael: I mean, you can angle it so doesn't.

Loyal: In theory.

Taury: Just cut it's fucking claw off.

Loyal: With what? My Silver Dagger?

Taury: Anything at this point.

Loyal: I'm incapable of fighting face to face, I'd like to put that out. 1,2, 3, 4, I'll step up here and fire or attempt to fire my crossbow at it.

Fenwarin: Do it.

Taury: Aiming specifically for the joint in it's like elbow.

Loyal: Sure.

Taury: Dislodging the mechanical screw.

Loyal: No. Uh uh.

Ishmael: [Laughs] He's a robot, damit, damn mechanical grabs! 

Taury: [Laughs]

Loyal: And then I'll back up. I assume I miss with a 17 considering an 18 missed? Plus I'm firing into combat. And I'll back up here.

GM: No, it just glances off the helmet. Morana.

Morana: Morana begins chanting again, and that is all.

GM: OK.

Taury: Taury gets eaten by the crab.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Your worst nightmare.

GM: It will constrict dealing direct damage to Taury, another 8 points.

Taury: Oh, it's direct damage.

Loyal: Yeah.

GM: Yeah, there's no role for that is just it deals damage

Loyal: 'Cause you're in the claw.

Taury: It's a fucking dickhead, is what it is.

GM: Roll to maintain the grapple... Which it does.

Fenwarin: You sound a little crabby Taury.

GM: [Chuckles]

Fenwarin: I had to.

Taury: Sass unappreciated at this moment in time. Gonna die. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: And now it is Taury's turn.

Taury: And now can I use fervor when I'm grabbled?

GM: With a concentration check.

Taury: Which would mean I couldn't also roll to escape? Or it's just- because I would like to do both if possible.

GM: You can make one escape artist or CMB to escape.

Taury: Then I wouldn't be able to take two? 

GM: Correct.

Loyal: I mean, if it's targeting yourself isn't that a swift action?

Taury: Yeah, but then I'd lose my second thingy. Can I roll the first combat check first and see? 

GM: Sure.

Taury: Cool. Oi. That doesn't help my decision.

GM: It's not a good roll.

Taury: No, uh... Fuck I'll just do another combat maneuver, try and escape. Oh, Jesus Christ, even worse!

GM: And it got worse.

Taury: Yup. 

GM: Oh fun. Markus.

Markus: OK, Taury gain 5 hit points.

Taury: Yay.

Markus: Markus then moves up the corridor past Loyal and Fen, and then attempts to throw shadows at the crab... Which go wide.

GM: All right, so the shadows don't hit?

Markus: I assume a touch attack of 4 misses.

GM: Yeah, that's that's going to miss.

Loyal: Why is this crab a god? Jesus.

GM: It's got the golden helmet of the Giants, that's why.

Ishmael: Oh, shit! I knew it. Fuck, we're all dead. All is lost!

GM: Fenwarin.

Taury: Which it stole, which means it's a rogue, it's a rogue crab.

GM: [Laughs] Oh a crab with sneak attack. holy hell that would be terrifying.

Taury: I Hate. Wouldn't that just be the worst thing ever. Jesus.

Loyal: It'd be awful.

Ishmael: That's what I would like to play when this character dies. I want that to be my next character.

Taury: A crab? [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yep. Hmmm... I'll just blast it again I guess. Wow! OK good.

GM: This wand is bound to fail eventually right?

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: Eventually, maybe?

Taury: It's always 60's, that's what's crazy about it.

Loyal: You know, for a fact, in the most crucial moment, it's going to fail.

Ishmael: Yeah, of course, but so far it's been nine casts all working.

Loyal: Nine for nine.

Ishmael: Yeah, so it explodes, kills all of us?

Loyal: [Laughs]

Fenwarin: Hey I like that. Nice.

Loyal: Pretty solid. Solid damage.

Fenwarin: Blast this stupid crab.

Loyal: Die. The only damage has been a little bit of fire damage from Taury and then just Fen's wand, that's literally been it.

Taury: 1. 1 fire damage from Taury!

Loyal: 1 fire damage and then Fen with magic missile.

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael: All right, Imma do it again. 23 to hit?

Loyal: Ooh!

GM: That will hit.

Loyal: Yes! Barely.

Ishmael: [Sighs] That shit was scary. 12... Please go away, Mr. Crab.

Loyal: Die crab.

GM: Loyal, it's your turn.

Fenwarin: Oh my god.

Loyal: Fuck. Die! [Laughs]

Ishmael: Loyal, I would like to point out that if you throw a bomb, you could angle it behind it and it will do damage to it. And we'll be safe.

Loyal: It'll just do splash damage. Yeah.

Ishmael: I mean.

Loyal: I mean, damage is damage.

Taury: Splash damage is better than no damage.

Loyal: Yeah, fair. I guess I'll probably like, scoot up in here.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: But also, wouldn't break its grapple?

Ishmael: Maybe.

GM: No.

Taury: Would it affect it's grapple in any way?

Loyal: Maybe?

GM: No.

Ishmael: Who knows, who knows?

Loyal: All right, I guess I'll try to angle the bomb to hit it there, to where it just gets hit by the splash.

GM: All right. 8 fire damage from Splash.

Loyal: Indeed.

GM: Morana.

Loyal: Oh, my god. Fucking die!

Fenwarin: You know, this is one tough crab.

Morana: Morana looks highly annoyed, and other people that can see her now also again see her clothes rise as the chanting gets louder, and as she reaches the end of it and stops: needle through the doll, and that's another attempt at the range touch.

Ishmael: Come on,

Loyal: Hey.

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: That hits.

Loyal: Yes!

Fenwarin: Yes, good.

Loyal: Fucking crab.

Fenwarin: Die you fucking crab!

Loyal: I'm having crab legs after this.

Ishmael: Yeah, we all will. [Laughs]

Taury: We turn the crab into our rations.

Morana: 18 damage there is and will save for half.

Fenwarin: Woah!

Loyal: Oh! That's so much fucking damage! Oh my god!

Fenwarin: Please fail the will save.

Morana: I actually I'm sorry, that's 16, I mistyped that's +1 per caster level, so +3.

Ishmael: God dammit.

GM: It makes the will save.

Morana: That- how the fuck is a crab going to make a goddamn will save? It takes eight damage, get fucked crab. Fucken drop dead!

GM: It does.

Fenwarin: Yes!

Loyal: Oh!

All: [Laughs]

Morana: Good.

Loyal: Fuck this crab!

Taury: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Holy shit, the fucking crab.

Loyal: Fucking crabs.

Ishmael: Oh. [Sigh of relief]

Morana: The feeling in the air around Morana dissipates too.

Ishmael: "Well, took care of our friend."

Markus: "Yeah, we probably ought to take some time to recover from that. Speaking of... There was a thing that happened during that fight, and you wanted it to stop.

Ishmael: "Yes."

Morana: "Does that happen every- does something- well... Is there a reason why you don't want that?"

Ishmael: "Because it hurts me."

Markus: "That always happens?"

Ishmael: "Certain types, yes."

Markus: "OK, so I won't be able to help you."

Ishmael: "I mean, I've got manners of tending to my own self. But, yes." Like Ishmael will begin casting a spell. And I'll need a minute before, you know, my spell finishes. So.

Markus: I think I know what it is, but let's see if Markus can.

Ishmael: I'm pretty sure you more than likely get it. Yeah.

Markus: [Typing]

Ishmael: Yes, yes.

Markus: Yeah.

Ishmael: To answer your question, yes.

Markus: Yeah. Yeah, I assume so given circumstances, yeah.

Loyal: Loyal probably doesn't notice because he's busy making sure Taury is all right from being strangled by a crab.

Taury: Well no one specified she was strangled.

Loyal: Being clawed- of being crabbed.

Ishmael: Just grabbed by face by claw, just fine. [Laughs] Shit. Like Ishmael will look at Taury and actually Morana and be like, "So what other spells can you cast that are like that?"

Morana: "I'm not entirely sure how- some things just came into my head and said it would be the way to do something." And she seems distracted. She's like cradling the doll against herself. And it almost sounds like she's quietly apologizing to it. And she looks moderately confused about what she just did.

Markus: "Well, next time, maybe mention that sort of thing before."

Ishmael: "Listen like it was something that didn't come up yet and, you know, it's kind of an awkward thing to open, you know, as an ice breaker."

Morana: "I can imagine yeah."

Ishmael: "Things happened we didn't all die, it's all good."

Markus: "Any other things that we should watch out for?"

Ishmael: "I guess just more so the positive healing. Other than that it's fine. Wait." He'll look at Loyal. "Any way you can make inflict wound potions?" But yeah, like he wouldn't be whispering it, like that's out in the open now, so I can't like whisper. "I took damage from that. Yeah."

Loyal: "Well any healing I provide has to be physically ingested, so it should be fine for now."

Markus: "I might be able to make them in theory, I've never tried."

Ishmael: "Can you- can you cast it?"

Markus: "Should be able to. I mean, it's not a spell I generally prepare, but in theory, yes."

Ishmael: "I mean, if we can get a hold of that, then it should be fine." 

Markus: "Yeah, OK, things to do in the future, as in, not right now." Markus will also take a moment and cast another cure light wounds out of the wand. "So anything else we need to do before we continue exploring?"

Ishmael: "I mean, there was only the one giant crab. So the way is free now." Like Ishmael will hop back in the water to collect gems.

GM: All right.

Loyal: Fair enough.

Ishmael: To give everybody a chance to just, you know- he's not a part of the group completely- but to give them some space to communicate and everything else.

GM: A search of the pool takes 3D6 minutes, but will uncover 3500 silver,

Loyal: Fuck!

Fenwarin: Woah!

Loyal: Jesus!

GM: 630 gold,

Loyal: Oh my god, this crab was a king.

GM: 40 precious stones worth 10 gold each.

Loyal: Fucking king crab over here.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: So it was a rogue.

GM: And a jade amulet of natural armor +1.

Loyal: Oh!

Fenwarin: Wow OK.

Loyal: Oh yeah.

Taury: So 100 percent it was a rogue.

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: The greatest treasure in the room, however, is this ancient helm.

Loyal: Yeah.

Ishmael: OK.

GM: The helm isn't solid gold, some of it is bronze, but it is still worth a total of 3000 gold.

Loyal: Oh ho ho ho!

Fenwarin: Wow!

Taury: Oh, shit.

Loyal: I'm going to write that down.

GM: If you choose to carry this 300 pound helm out.

Loyal: Yeah we'll figure that out later.

Taury: We will come back to that one.

Loyal: We'll come back for this.

Ishmael: I take breaks periodically because staying underwater for three minutes, that's absurd, right?

GM: That is pushing lung capacity. Yes. [Laughs]

Ishmael: Yes, so like you said, like so 4000 silver. Yeah, somebody write that down because it's like it was being rattled off too fast.

Loyal: Yep.

Markus: On it.

Ishmael: OK cool.

Loyal: There you go.

Ishmael: Right, cool.

Loyal: Crab loot.

Fenwarin: You can always depend on Quiet.

Taury: It's true.

Ishmael: Yes. Good, good.

Markus: Unlike some people, I am not averse to math.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: Ooh! That almost hurt, but it didn't.

Ishmael: Ouch. That's very mean. 

Loyal: Because it's true.

Fenwarin: "Unlike some people." [Quoting Markus]

GM: You need me to read through it again?

Markus: So 3500 silver pieces, 630 gold pieces, 40 precious stones worth 10 each, Jade amulaet of natural armor +1, and this ancient giant helm worth 3000 gold pieces but also weighing 300 pounds.

GM: Yep, that's everything.

Taury: He's good is Quiet. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: [Laughs] I guess I let you guys confer while I'm doing that. Like, "You guys OK with the fact that I get hurt by positive energy, and all that stuff?" 

Fenwarin: "Strange, strange, strange."

Morana: "I've seen odder things.

Markus: "You're obviously not mindless, so I'm assuming you're not going to be randomly trying to steal our life force, or eat us, or whatever it is the undead do?"

Ishmael: "I mean, I just don't heal from positive energy, and like, what's this about undead?"

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Markus: "Those are the most obvious things to have similar qualities to yourself. For example Morana's killed a skeleton before with cure light wounds."

Ishmael: "Yeah, I mean, there are other things that are hurt by positive energy that aren't undead."

Markus: "Possibly."

Ishmael: "It's very offensive."

Morana: "It does seem assumption of correlation, causation, that kind of thing."

Markus: "Granted. It was the closest analogy. The point I was trying to make (apparently badly), is that you might be different, but ultimately you're not here to work against us. You volunteered to help. So-"

Ishmael: "Yeah."

Markus: "-it's just a thing that we need to take into account when planning and executing tactics."

Loyal: "I agree. Who a person is doesn't necessarily dictate who they are."

Ishmael: "Aaah, you guys are good people." He'll slap like Markus on the shoulder and then whoever spoke, was that Fen or was-"

Loyal: It was Loyal. He is kind of sitting on the ground right now. He was staring off into space before this and then he piped up.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: "Well, regardless, we still have a job to do here as an- even considering there was this crab."

Ishmael: "And for context, none of you guys can, you know, channel negative energy or cast inflict wounds?"

Loyal: "Nope, not that I know of."

Ishmael: "No?"

Markus: "I would need to choose to prepare it, I can't channel- I can't generally channel energy, let's put it that way. So in terms of practicalities, somebody probably ought to put this amulet on."

Loyal: "Yeah let's, I'd agree with that."

Fenwarin: "Who needs it more?"

Ishmael: "Which one of us- how many of us are going to be going in and getting close to enemies?"

Loyal: "I pretty much will bet you and Taury." 

Markus: "I would prefer not to. But if necassary I would but-"

Ishmael: "I mean, I could use it."

Markus: "-you seem to fight well with a sword, Taury fights well with her scythe so-"

Ishmael: I mean, I can- can we break out of character real quick?

Markus: Sure.

Ishmael: Like I'm at 19, I'd like it to put me at an even 20.

Taury: Your AC?

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: I have 22 so. 

Loyal: Woah!

Ishmael: Yeah.

Taury: So like I already have a +1.

Fenwarin: Wow, that is an insane AC for now.

Loyal: Wow that's good.

Markus: Taury, do you actually have anything giving you a natural armor bonus?

Taury: Well, I think wasn't that +1 ring?

Markus: You have the armor of +1, but that's-

Taury: Oh, I do have a thing that does that.

Markus: That's not natural armor. This is separate.

Taury: I have my "human" qualities.

Loyal: Ah!

Markus: Ah right!

Loyal: Gotcha.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: I forgot about the "human with dark vision" qualities.

Taury: Yeah.

Ishmael: I forgot that they don't, you know, stack.

Markus: OK. This would this would actually stack with it, because an amulet of natural armor gives you an enhancement bonus to your natural armor.

Ishmael: OK.

Markus: But as a general thing, yeah, giving it to the person with the lower AC is probably the better idea.

Loyal: Yeah, I think give to Ishmael.

Taury: Well, 22 is decent, 19 is hit and miss, you know, the 20 is nice to have.

Loyal: Yeah, I think Ishmael is probably best to have it.

Taury: I think.

Loyal: He also fished it out, so.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Markus: That is true, yes.

Taury: He also was responsible for the whole plan succeeding. So he worked for it.[Laughs]

Fenwarin: Yeah, he worked for his money. [Laughs] "All right, Ishmael, you can put it on."

Ishmael: Ok, I put it on. Turns out it's cursed and I'm murdered.

Taury: Rip!

Loyal: F!

Taury: You turn into a rogue crab.

Ishmael: No.

Ishmael: Oh, holy shit. That'd be-

Loyal: Suddenly feel an urge to climb inside the helmet.

Taury: [Laughs] Oh, it's like Smeagol, he, like, gradually becomes the crab!

Loyal: He becomes the crab!

GM: [Laughs] That's funny.

Taury: [Laughs] Oh I want that to be a thing now.

Ishmael: [Laughs] Wakes up one day, giant fuck-off claw, "What the fuck?! Hmm? Well this is a thing, we'll be fine."

GM: Let us continue, please.

Loyal: Yeah.

Taury: Yeah.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Anyway yes OK. 

GM: So are you guys going up the staircase or are you just chillin in this pool?

Ishmael: This is this is our home now right?

Taury: We live here now yeah.

Markus: No I think we are going up. 

Morana: I was waiting for the front lines to front line. 

Loyal: That.

Markus: Hmm, yes.

Ishmael: Yeah yeah yeah, I got you, I got your fam.

Taury: Well, you all were talking so I was sort of waiting for that to do its thing, and then Taury would just push forward.

Fenwarin: Yeah, if we're all prepared, we can make a move out.

Ishmael: Yeah, like Ishmael will follow, like after after a minute. Like I needed a minute for my healing to finish.

Loyal: Yeah I assume the conversation is kind of going during that.

Ishmael: So... there.

Taury: I really don't like these narrow fucking corridors. At this point, can I roll a perception check to see if I can hear noise either side of this junction? 

GM: Sure.

Ishmael: I would like to do so as well, because, you know, paranoia is good, it and keeps you alive,

Taury: It true.

Ishmael: Keeps you not dead.

Taury: It true he speak the truth.

Fenwarin: Nat 20.

GM: Other than the sound of the lapping waves behind you, there is silence, that eerie silence where you can almost hear the like the white noise. Yeah.

Taury: And from that perception check, would it be fair to assume that that corridor probably leads back to the other thing, the other entrance where the guys were?

GM: This direction, yes.

Taury: Yeah, I should probably ping that,

GM: Yeah. Not sure about this direction.

Taury: Cool. Right, what is that? Is that a wall?

Loyal: I fucking swear. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Taury: Do you want to describe this wall Furtive?

GM: It looks like a wall.

Taury: What kind of wall? Like a collapsed wall? Or like a we-have-to-climb-this wall?

GM: No, neither. Like it's the same wall as everywhere else around you.

Loyal: I fucking swear!

Taury: We have to go down, don't we? We have to swim down further is that what's happening?

GM: I don't know.

Ishmael: Can I make a prescription to look for like a secret door?

Taury: Yeah, I'll be doing that too.

GM: Sure.

Ishmael: Like in this area, like anywhere like- 24. 

Fenwarin: Yeah, I'm also doing that.

GM: No, you don't find any secret door.

Taury: Does it just look like a dead end? 

GM: Yeah.

Loyal: Did all of this fucking nothing?!

Taury: Well, no we've got a shit ton of money.

Loyal: Well yeah we got a shit ton of money out of it, but-

Ishmael: I still don't trust this. What the fuck?

Loyal: Seeing it happen, I'll search over here for it, for like a secret door.

Ishmael: Well, then I guess Ishmael will go like, "Well, I guess I can see if there's another way. Yeah, I guess I can see if the water goes lower. Yeah?"

Markus: "I'll keep searching for a little while."

Ishmael: I go back into the water and check to see if it goes deeper and if that's the way we're supposed to go.

GM: There is no other way in the water except back outside, and, you know, that's not right, so.

Ishmael: No, that's not right.

Fenwarin: Can I somehow, like, feel the wall for something hidden?

GM: Sure. Perception check.

Fenwarin: Ok.

Markus: While all this is going on, Markus is going to remove his coat, spontaneously cast detect secret doors.

Loyal: Nice.

Markus: And then start scanning around.

GM: Markus, there's a secret door right here.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: What?!

Fenwarin: I knew it! Oh man!

GM: Fenwarin is currently feeling around the door and just can't find it.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Loyal: Thank god we have that fucking spell, otherwise we would have just left.

Taury: Right.

Fenwarin: And that's my perception for you. I mean, it's just crap.

Markus: "There's something there. There's there's definitely a doorway.""

Ishmael: "Oh, you feel something?"

Markus: "No, it's divination magic."

Ishmael: "Oh, well, go ahead, I'll let you investigate it."

Markus: OK, given that I know the secret was there, can I just take 20 on a perception to actually find it?

GM: Oh, yeah, you find it no problem, because I assume part of the magic of detect secret doors is also how to open them, not just "I know it's there", but also this is how it works.

Markus: Oh yeah. OK. In which case I will confirm- "Right. Yeah, that's the latch there. So, OK, you catch that?"

GM: Yeah, "Each additional round the mechanism or trigger for a particular secret door can be examined." Yeah, it's even in this spell. Yeah, you got it.

Loyal: Fen's looking all around and Markus just comes over, presses a stone and opens.

Taury: [Laughs] Yeah.

Fenwarin: [Laughs] Yeah.

Markus: No, no, no. Markus is explicitly pointed out to whoever's behind him, which is currently Ishmael, "Right. Yeah, that's the trigger right there. That's how you open it. You got that?"

Ishmael: "OK. Yep, yep."

Taury: Push the red button

Markus: Ok.

Loyal: Hopefully they don't know about it then if it's secret.

Ishmael: "I flick the switch, or the latch and open up the door I guess. It's a fireball I guess. Or something, a lightning bolt?

Loyal: Disintegration

Ishmael: Something obliterates all of us. [Laughs]

Taury: Hundreds of baby goblins.

Ishmael: Crispy!

Loyal: [Laughs] Oh god.

Fenwarin: Oh yeah.

Ishmael: Oh no! Not the baby goblins! Murder em all!

GM: The door opens and you see four pillars support a dome ceiling of this room, several dark alcoves containing standing sarcophagi grace the walls

Loyal: Hmm.

GM: And a statue of a stern man wielding a glaive and holding a book stands in the southern part of the chamber.

Markus: Stern man?

Ishmael: History or-?

GM: Ishmael, you recognize the facial features as-

Ishmael: It's the same man? All right.

GM: -the same man depicted on the statue head that you're currently inside.

Ishmael: Then I don't fucking know! It's oh! It's that guy!

Loyal: [Laughs]

Ishmael: Cool, I take a step in.

Markus: Yeah. Is he carrying a book?

GM: He is.

Markus: Does that book have a certain symbol on it?

GM: It does.

Loyal: Yeah, it's a runelord.

Ishmael: What symbol is on the book?

Markus: Yeah, OK. Knowledge history to identify, which of the runelords this is please.

GM: Certainly

GM: Ishmael, it is the same symbol on his book as the one that you presented earlier to Brodert Quink.

Ishmael: Oh, shit. OK.

GM: 22. Now that you have more of a full visage in context of who this might be, Markus you identify Runelord Karzoug the runelord of greed.

Markus: Yep, and one of the neighbors to the runelord that we found before. Yeah.

Loyal: "That also explains why there was an artillery weapon, that was an entire temple."

Markus: "Oh, right, OK. Yeah, the Old Light is not the only one. Oh dear. Right, fine, OK. Worry about that later."

Ishmael: "Those are later problems."

Loyal: "For future us problems."

Markus: "Very much future us problems, yes, but OK." Detect magic on the statue?

GM: There is no magic on the statue. Well, not beyond a standard abjuration that seems to be everywhere, and just, you know, the treated magical walls and whatnot of the construction.

Markus: Yeah, the ancient construction techniques of "this stone will last nearly forever". Yeah, OK. The weapon that he is holding does it by any chance look extremely similar to the one that Markus gave to the dragon?

GM: No, that was a ranseur, this is a glaive.

Markus: Oh, right. Does it look well crafted?

GM: It appears to be part of the statue and made of stone.

Markus: Ok, so it's not one that we can pick up like the previous one. Ok.

Ishmael: Are the sarcophagi like closed?

GM: Yes. 

Ishmael: Like, are they just standard ones, or are they like jewel encrusted and pretty? What?

GM: They're covered in Thassilonian Runes.

Taury: Taury is going to cast fiendish presence.

Ishmael: Can I read it like what does it say?

GM: Yeah, you can read it. "These are the internments of the architects of this statue. They were buried alive here to prevent their knowledge from ever being exposed."

Loyal: Don't like that!

Ishmael: Of course they were.

Taury: That's great.

Ishmael: Ishmael will place a hand on the sarcophagus to see if there was like a thud back or just like if there's any movement inside.

GM: No, you don't censor anything.

Loyal: I still don't like it.

Ishmael: That's fair. Well, cool. "So these are all the people that made this, you know, the statue. Cool." Is there any writing on the statue or anything at all?

GM: No. 

Ishmael: And I guess move towards the door to peak out.

GM: All right, you actually opening the door?

Ishmael: Like, I'm peaking my head out or like, I assume there isn't anything nice like a keyhole to look through? But yeah, so.

GM: Don't assume I'm scrolling... All right, Taury. This is at you.

Loyal: Ah shit!

Taury: Great!

Loyal: Strength damage yay. 

Fenwarin: Jesus.

Taury: Oh, that's even better. And it's exactly 22.

Loyal: That's your fucking AC?

Taury: So it hits it, which is bullshit.

GM: Well, it would have been on your touch.

Taury: Oh it's on a touch?

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Yeah, and then do you get a fort save to resist this damage?

Taury: Yeah? Is it a fort save?

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Great. I hate it.

GM: That's not enough.

Loyal: Ah.

Taury: I kind of knew that.

GM: Oh, no. There's no save for this.

Loyal: Ha! Nice.

Ishmael: Ah shit!

GM: It's just negative energy, strength, damage, 1D6.

Loyal: I'm sorry?

Fenwarin: What?! Oh god!

Markus: Wow. 

Loyal: Hoooo!

Markus: Lucky.

Loyal: Oh that's a 1. I don't like this at all.

Taury: So that's what? -1 to strength?

GM: ...Yeah.

Taury: Was that a fucking pause? You just pause? Is there more to that?

GM: Maybe, maybe.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Loyal: Is there more of these things

Ishmael: Don't worry about it.

Taury: I'm sorry, what?!

GM: Just give me a second. 

Taury: No, I don't want to.

GM: It's fine, just don't worry about it.

Taury: It's not fine. Nothing about that is fine. Oh, great it has a token now too!

GM: It's fine.

Loyal: And there's two!

GM: It's fine.

Ishmael: Ah shit!

Taury: I'm guessing there's going to be five?

GM: Don't worry about it.

Fenwarin: Ooh!

Taury: Six?

Loyal: Yeah, I'm guessing there's five of them.

Taury: Five, yeah.

Loyal: Because there's five sarcophagi.

GM: Don't worry about it.

Ishmael: There are six.

Loyal: Just going to go ahead and roll initiatives since that came up.

GM: It's totally fine.

Fenwarin: Sheesus!

Taury: The more you say "fine", the more dislike I'm aiming in your direction.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

GM: Everything's perfect. It's happy fun times.

Taury: It's a shadow? I'm sorry, what?!

Loyal: Yeah, Shadow.

GM: Yeah.

Ishmael: Oh, no! No!

Loyal: So if you cast the shadow grasp thing Markus now, can you make it do a thing?

Markus: No, no.

GM: I had debated on all of you with dark vision, not even being able to see these things.

Taury: That's kind of fun, but I hate it.

Loyal: I hate, I hate.

GM: I decided against that.

Markus: Ooh.

GM: You're welcome.

Taury: Thank you.

Loyal: 

Markus: Yeah thank you

Loyal: And there's one right next to me, right fucking next to me.

Taury: But I would have given cool points for it, so it would have been a cool way to die. [Laughs] Death by Shadow didn't even see it coming.

Ishmael: Vietnam flashbacks to shadows of previous Characters.

GM: Uh huh. Yeah. All right, Taury you're first. 

Taury: OK.

GM: As a shadow animates and moves strangely beside you, reaches out, swipes through your armor and you feel the cold touch of, yeah, of pain.

Taury: Oh. Yeah. Of ouch.

Loyal: Pain.

Taury: All righty

Ishmael: I rolled a 22, like it may say 16, but I don't have my data plugged in, it's a +6 to my initiative.

GM: Well, OK, sorry, Ishmael you're first, but you're looking through a door.

Ishmael: Yeah, cool, what do I see through the door?

GM: A hallway.

Loyal: More shadows.

Ishmael: OK cool.

GM: Yeah, it's just it's just a fun hallway, it seems.

Taury: A fun hallway? 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: I look back and go, "Oh, shit! Oh, oh, uuuh, right."

GM: Yeah, there's nothing in the hallway that you saw, just, it's a hallway.

Ishmael: And then I look back to see this!

GM: Uh huh.

Ishmael: Well shit!

GM: Yeah, definitely more pressing concerns.

Ishmael: All right. Yeah I draw my sword and just, "All right. Come on." I guess I go up to this one and hit it.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: This is 15.

GM: That might hit it

Ishmael: My sword is considered magical.

GM: All right, then it does hit it.

Ishmael: 11.

GM: OK. It takes half of that because, incorporeal.

Ishmael: Yeah and I don't think I can bypass like that yet.

GM: So half of 11 is 6.

Ishmael: Is 6 yes.

GM: No, round down, 5, always round down.

Ishmael: Yeah, oh.

GM: Taury.

Taury: Hmmm, that's a touch attack, which means that's not a range attack, right?

GM: Correct.

Taury: Great, wonderful. I hate this. I mean, I'm just going to take out the Switch scythe and swing for it.

GM: I would suggest you make a knowledge religion on this creature.

Taury: First, I mean, I don't think it matters, I don't think I can do jack shit about it, so. [Laughs]

GM: [Laughs] Well, that may be true.

Markus: Oh, yes you can!

Taury: Oh, can I?

Loyal: Because guess who has a magic sword on them? Me and I can give it to you.

Taury: Uh.

Taury: Not me. It's not me that has it.

GM: [Laughs] 

Loyal: "Your sword sir!" Squire.

Taury: Squire Loyal! 

All: [Laugh] 

Taury: "Master presents Dobby with a sock." Anyway, go on.

GM: Ok, 14, you identify shadows, they are undead.

Taury: Yeah,

GM: They are incorporeal.

Taury: Uh huh.

GM: You get one question.

Taury: What can I do to hit it? No. Um, I mean what is it vulnerable to?

GM: Positive energy.

Taury: Yeah, other than obviously positive energy. Or is that the only thing that it's vulnerable to?

GM: Well, that's that's the only thing that you know for sure.

Taury: Hate this. All right is that my question or?

GM: Do you want it to be?

Taury: [Laughs] No.

GM: It's pretty basic knowledge, I'd suggest you ask a real one.

Taury: Well, see, I knew that it was that, but I kind of meant other than that, but I didn't specify that.

Loyal: Resistances would probably the question.

Taury: Yeah.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: Resistances was the follow up to that.

GM: Ok, they have channel resistance.

Taury: Of course they do.

GM: So any positive channeling, they get a bonus on their save against it.

Taury: So they're basically the anti-Taury, is what you're saying to me right now?

GM: Could be, could be.

Markus: Channel resistance isn't the same as resisting positive energy in general, it's just specifically resisting channel energy. Either cure light wounds or fervor will hurt it and will hurt it badly.

Taury: So what you're saying is cast cure light wounds on it?

Ishmael: Yes.

Taury: Yeah, Imma do that. So, yeah, that should be +3 now, right?

Loyal: Yeah,

Taury: Because of the caster level.

Loyal: Yeah it's plus caster level. 

Taury: Yeah, cool.

GM: I'm going to give it to you.

All: [Laugh]

Taury: You don't have to.

Loyal: Benevolent GM, thank you.

GM: That technically misses, but I'm going to give it to you. So 10 points of damage huh?

Markus: 10 points of positive energy damage which they're apparently vulnerable to.

GM: Yeah, OK. And they will make an attack of opportunity against you.

Taury: Yup.

Markus: Oh, yeah, you should cast that defensively. Yeah.

GM: And miss. Unless 9 hits your touch attack?

Taury: No, it doesn't my touch attack is 14

GM: Or your touch AC.

Taury: It's 14.

GM: Ok, good.

Taury: Or 11

GM: Good. [Chuckles]

Taury: Regardless, it doesn't fucking hit me! Leave me alone! Move on to someone else's turn!

Ishmael: It's not 9! It's not 9 you're safe! [Laughs]

GM: Loyal.

Taury: God damn it!

Loyal: All right. Do I know if fire hurts these things?

GM: No.

Loyal: As in, I don't know or it doesn't?

Markus: Maybe make a knowledge religion check?

Loyal: Yeah, that's my guess, I'll do that... I don't think I know shit.

GM: You don't know anything about shadows.

Loyal: Cool. When in doubt, burn it with fire! I'm gonna five foot step and I'm gonna throw a bomb at this one.

GM: All right.

Ishmael: Does it get a reflex save?

Loyal: Splash damage. 

Ishmael: OK.

Markus: Oh, 'cause yeah, the bomb will go right through it and hit the wall behind.

Loyal: Yeah it will. [Laughs]

Markus: Yes.

GM: And as the flames lick up the wall and, you know, flicker and whatnot, the shadow dances around all over the place because, you know, light sources.

Loyal: Uh huh, did that do anything?

GM: You have no way of knowing.

Loyal: Awesome! Cool, that's my turn.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

GM: Markus.

Ishmael: It'll be OK.

Loyal: Hate this. Gonna splash a portion on it.

Markus: Let's start with what I know.

GM: All right. You know, a little bit more about shadows and get three questions.

Markus: Resistances and immunitys?

GM: They have channel resistance and undead immunitys.

Taury: Is that not the same question I asked?

Markus: Oh, yes, it was.

Taury: I was just about to say just before you said, but.

Loyal: It's in character, Markus would probably think of that immediately.

Markus: Yeah, special attacks?

GM: Create spawn. Any humanoid killed by a shadow's strength damage becomes a shadow under the control of its killer in 1D4 1 rounds.

Markus: OK. I assume the fact that they're incorporeal would be obvious? 

GM: Yes. 

Markus: Would I know the implications of what that incorporeal means?

GM: Incorporeal creatures cannot be hit by normal melee attacks. Magical weapons can hit them, but deal half damage. Magic reliably deals damage to them.

Markus: Right, OK. And they're undead so they'll be immune to mind affecting stuff. What's their worst save?

GM: Fort and reflex are tied for their low save.

Markus: OK.

GM: What would you like to do?

Markus: I would definitely like to regret my life right now, and in particular the of spells I've made. 

All: [Laugh]

GM: Uh huh, OK. Did you prep for goblin combat and then go a way that didn't have any goblins? Yes you did.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Taury: You know what's annoying? I also prepped something for like I was going to prep it for undead and then I was like, nah, it's fine, it'll be goblins. So I didn't.

Loyal: Unless I can splash a cure light wounds extract on them, I don't think I can really do much.

GM: [Laughs] 

Loyal: I could just throw the extract at them.

Markus: OK. Markus is going to back up into the corridor. What's the range limit on this?

GM: Shut the secret door behind him. [Laughs]

Loyal: And leave. 

All: [Laugh]

Markus: No, no, no, no.

Ishmael: And try to swim home.

Loyal: Please help me, I'm so alone right now, down here I'm so vulnerable. [Laughs] I don't like it.

Markus: Yeah, let me put this out of character, given statistically average rolls, Markus will die in two hits.

Loyal: Nice.

Ishmael: That's fair.

Markus: He is- yeah. [Laughs]

Loyal: It kills you your strength goes to zero, yeah?

Markus: Yeah.

Loyal: Cool. I have 10.

Ishmael: Yeah, but they roll a D6.

Loyal: Yes, two attacks.

Markus: Yeah, yeah, Markus will then try something that probably won't work, but might.

GM: I like it.

Markus: And he will throw shadows at a shadow.

Loyal: Yes! Yes!

Taury: Is that called throwing shade, is that what that's called?

Loyal: Yeah!

Ishmael: Yes.

Markus: Potentially, yeah. So touch AC 17, I'm assuming hits. Does it actually entangle?

GM: It does! And you magically twist the shadow itself because it doesn't have a shadow to be cast.

Loyal: Yes! I like it.

Taury: I love it!

Fenwarin: Ooh.

Markus: OK.

Taury: I want you to tie all of the shadows into a nice, neat bow in the corner of the room.

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Markus: Ah maybe. We'll see

Taury: Just as a suggestion.

Fenwarin: Look at that Shadow-bow.

GM: OK.

Morana: I have the potential for fun in my turn.

GM: It has been marked. Shadow up here by Ishmael, will attack Ishmael.

Ishmael: Sweet.

GM: Does that hit your touch?

Ishmael: Yes, it hits my touch.

Loyal: What?!

Taury: What, what?!

Loyal: Your touch is a 10?!

Ishmael: Sure.

Markus: No dex bonus.

Fenwarin: "Sure." [Laughs]

Loyal: Oh I see. Oh.

Taury: Welp.

GM: You're "sure" was very sarcastic, does it actually you? [Laughs]

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Ishmael: It hits me. Yes. It hits me.

Loyal: The fuck?

Taury: It hits him, but he's sad about it, that's what that says.

Ishmael: So 2 shadow damage?

GM: Yeah, and 2 strength.

Ishmael: Oh, fuck! Ok that is not so good. Oh, no! It'll be fine.

Markus: Question.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Markus: That's negative energy,

Taury: Ooh!

Loyal: Oh!

Markus: Strength damage. Does it have a different effect on our friend?

Loyal: Please fucken heal him, that'd be great!

Taury: That would be awesome.

GM: It does not.

Ishmael: Shit!

Loyal: Fuck. [Laughs]

Ishmael: What really? All right. Mistakes, mistakes have been made. I thought that was negative energy damage.

GM: It is.

Fenwarin: I guess it's not the right one.

GM: But it does strength damage, you don't heal from strength damage.

Ishmael: 

Markus: Oh.

Ishmael: I thought it was negative energy and then the addition was strength damage.

GM: No. 

Ishmael: Ah shit.

Markus: Oh right.

GM: No, the strength damage is done by negative energy.

Ishmael: Ah fuck!

GM: OK. slither out.

Taury: Oh, it slithers.

GM: Hi buddy.

Loyal: Go away! Go away.

Fenwarin: Woah!

Loyal: 12. Mises my touch AC.

Taury: And also, it only is going to do 1 damage.

Loyal: Your 13. [Laugha]

Markus: That 1 damage isn't the scary part.

Loyal: But I'm worried about the strength damage because I have 10 strength, two of those could kill me.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yeah. I'm aiming the cursed wand at one next to Loyal.

Loyal: Thank you.

Fenwarin: But don't thank me yet! You know it's cursed.

Loyal: I mean, yeah true.

Taury: Watch it be this time you mentioned where like it was going to fail.

Loyal: I mentioned it's going to fail in the most crucial moment. What is it, it's like a 33 percent chance to fail yeah?

GM: Yeah.

Fenwarin: Yeah, when it really matters... Oh yes.

Loyal: It's good, we're good.

Taury: That's solid 60.

Loyal: 10 for 10.

Taury: So dependable is Fen.

Fenwarin: Nice! Yeah.

Loyal: Dependable wand somehow.

GM: Dependably cursed wand. [Laughs]

Taury: Yeah!

Loyal: Yes! Exactly!

Fenwarin: Yeah! For some damn reason! [Laughs]. 

Ishmael: Wait a minute, something seems off here.

GM: Right?

Ishmael: Hmm.

GM: Going to have to up your curse.

Loyal: No, no. No

Ishmael: Wait. No, wait. Wait. That's not how that works.

Loyal: I mean.

Ishmael: Wait a minute.

GM: All right, Morana.

Morana: Right, knowledge religion.

GM: You know, about undead shadows.

Morana: Sure do. I need to know hit dice.

GM: You need to know the hit dice. All right, 3.

Loyal: That's so many.

Morana: I need to know if they're considered intelligent or not.

GM: They are.

Morana: Ok. Well that only comes into effect if that happens. OK, what else haven't we covered?

Ishmael: We covered their saves, their reflex and fort are the lowest.

Morana: Yeah, might be a problem, but I can hope for good dice. You know, we haven't covered ecology. Give me a ecology.

Ishmael and Loyal: [Laugh]

GM: All right.

Morana: Tell me more.

GM: The organization of shadows is in either solitary, a pair. Or a gang, which is 3 to 6, or a swarm, which is 7 to 12.

Loyal: Ok, well, this is a gang.

GM: The sinister shadow skirts the border between the gloom of darkness and the harsh truth of light. The shadow prefers to haunt ruins where civilizations have moved on, where it hunts living creatures foolish enough to stumble into its territory. The shadow is an undead horror and as such has no goals or outwardly visible motivations other than to sap the life and vitality from living beings. Long, dark fingers stretch out across the wall, reaching toward light, life and all that they do not have but long to possess, the shadows move and hunger for. Their very essence is gluttony and greed. Rampant covertness and grasping greed leads some people down the dark path of evil and betrayal, eventually ending in a reprehensible death sentence, or a lonely expiration. While most such prey and despicable souls travel on to their final rewards the same way everyone else does, in some cases, gluttons, misers and thieves waste away into nothing but shadows, undead things that reach and grab but can never hold. Over time, spell casters have discovered that these averous souls make perfect servants and guardians, immortal creatures doomed to watch over their treasures for all eternity. Shadows are incorporeal undead, distorted like their namesakes and able to float or slide silently along surfaces, blending in among the true shadows there. This allows them to approach unnoticed, and those trespassers not cut completely by surprise rarely get more than a glimpse out of the corner of an eye, a flicker of movement in the sense of something out of place, before they are struck. In addition to guarding the haunted ruins they lay claim to, or serving a more powerful undead capable of cowering them, shadows devote themselves to attacking any living creature they encounter, draining their victims of all vitality with their chilling touch. Victims become weaker and weaker until they finally perish. But their suffering only begins there, for as the victim of a shadows touch expires, its own shadow detaches from the corpse, taking on the same half life as its killer, hungry for the essence of the living and operating under its killer's command. Like all undead, shadows are timeless creatures as they have lost all the concepts of their previous life and the transition to undeath. The passage of centuries means almost nothing to them, and no one can say what shadows may or may not think in the long wait between victims. However, unlike lesser undead, shadows do appear to grow over time. A shadow that has fed on the lives of many victims, or that dwells long enough in the place suffused with sufficient negative energies, may grow in power, becoming a greater shadow. These shadow lords often command swarms of their lesser kin, typically spawn of their own making. Rarely is it more than one greater shadow found in a particular place as these creatures compete fiercely for prey. Some believe that in especially fallow times, shadows even consume their own, but this is almost certainly false as consuming another undead would grant a shadow neither the energy it seeks, nor a new spawn, and gangs of shadows have been found that survives sealed into lost tombs together for millennia. What awaits powerful shadows is the question even the sages can only speculate about. Some believe shadow lords may eventually become shadow demons, drawn together down into the abyss by the weight of their sins to drown in the eternal darkness. Torn apart by the forces of chaos they emerge as malevolent monsters of pure envy and avarice. Others claimed that shadow lords steal the vitality of the living to become more corporeal, eventually transforming into other undead creatures, or half real shades.

Loyal: You know what would have been really useful in the situation? Ectoplasmic bombs, which I do not have.

Morana: I DM'ed you a question by the way, outside of the questions about shadows.

GM: Ah. Standard action.

Morana: OK. All right, that limits that, so I can't do that first. You just have to throw it and pray. All right. Morana is staring at the one that's- that Markus has bound, and that weird feeling starts circulating through the air around her again, as she continues to stare at it. Mutters something under her breath. And I need it to make a will save. Yeah fuck, I had a feeling that wasn't going to work. If only I'd been able to- All right.

Ishmael: "It'll, it's going to be fine, it'll be fine."

Morana: Gonna move over here. Nope, nope, not far enough, right here. She's gonna stand over here. Don't worry, nothing bad's happening. That'll end my turn.

Ishmael: [Laughs] If I close my eyes, and imagine I'm not here, then I'm not here.

GM: Hi Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Oh, hello shadow.

Ishmael: Wait a minute, wait, what?

Loyal: I thought that one was restrained.

GM: Oh, yeah, that one is restrained.

Fenwarin: Oh yeah. [Laughs]

Loyal: They missed anyway. Good.

GM: Ishmael, your turn.

Ishmael: Cool. Son of a bitch, that did not work how I wanted it to work, so get slapped.

GM: That will hit.

Ishmael: So 3 damage. 

GM: Yup. Taury.

Taury: All right, I'm going to cast, well not cast but use fervor. So that's a melee attack as well I assume?

GM: Yeah. That will hit.

Markus: Unfortunately, it will also provoke.

Taury: Yeah, there's not a whole lot I can do about that.

Loyal: Ooh.

Fenwarin: Nice,

Markus: Damage from the fervor? D6 plus an extra D6, is it, every few levels? So 5 points of positive energy.

GM: Yeah, doesn't change anything.

Markus: Hopefully it changes its hit point total.

GM: No, it wouldn't have mattered. It's dead.

Markus: Oh! 

GM: 3 dead. Loyal.

Loyal: All right, seeing as I have, if I just run away, it's just going to hit me. If I run this way, it's gonna hit me. So I will five foot step, put me between it and Fenwarin. I will draw the dragon's bane long the sword. It's not going to go well and I'll swing at it... Nope.

GM: That misses.

Loyal: Cool. I like take it out by the blade and swing the hilt on it.

Ishmael: [Laughs]

Morana: Imma bonk ya! Imma bonk ya!

GM: Markus.

Markus: I take my coat off, because at this point that's not going to actually help me, and re-entangle, well, hopefully re-entangle the one I got before.

Loyal: Hmm.

Markus: OK, I'm assuming an 8 misses.

GM: It does. 

Markus: Uh oh.

Loyal: [Laughs] "Uh oh." [Quoting Markus]

Taury: Apparently, the power of hope doesn't do positive damage. 

Fenwarin: [Laughs]

Markus: At which point it's no longer entangled.

GM: Ok, so this little shadow down here by Loyal...

Loyal: Uh I wonder who it's going to attack? Yeah that hits. 6 points of damage.

Taury: 6 points of strength damage.

Loyal: Yep! Mm Mhm,

Ishmael: Oh shit! no!

Loyal: I'm at 4 strength.

Fenwarin: Oh, Jesus. 

Ishmael: Why did you have to say something Runty?! Oh god!

Loyal: That's it. A -6. There we go.

GM: [Evil laugh]

Loyal: I hate, I hate it all. [Laughs]

GM: Fenwarin your turn.

Fenwarin: OK.

Loyal: I have a -3 to attack with the long sword now! [Laughs]

Fenwarin: I'm gonna back off to here, and then shoot the same shadow again with the wand, hopefully.

GM: OK. Let's see how you do.

Fenwarin: Yeah, I'm also interested... It hits! [Laughs]

Loyal: Yay!

Fenwarin: For 14!

Loyal: Oh fuck! Holy shit!

Taury: Oh nice!

Loyal: That's a lot of damage!

Ishmael: Which one are you hitting? This one down here? 

Fenwarin: The one below Loyal yeah.

Loyal: "Oh, thank you!"

GM: The three magic missiles strike into it and just obliterat it.

Loyal: Loyal's like puking slightly from the sensation. Just into his mouth, like spits it out.

GM: [Laughs] Oh wow! Morana your turn.

Morana: Right. Keep running that same play till you get it right, I need another will save from that one... Fuck!

GM: Yeah.

Morana: All right, yup. No, that's that's my turn.

GM: OK.

Fenwarin: God damn.

GM: Still didn't work huh?

Morana: Nope, it's against my hex DC.

GM: Oh. Well that's the final shadow.

Loyal: I dislike. [Laughs]

GM: It's gonna swing at Taury.

Taury: Yeah, of course it is.

Loyal: Thank god. Yeah I was about to say.

GM: Taury seems to be the one with the most vitality here.

Loyal: That's true and also can hurt it... Oh, well.

Taury: Ooh, the -4 I don't like.

Ishmael: Well, I mean, that's just 4 damage.

GM: Yeah.

Taury: It was 4 strength damage.

GM: Nope, that's about to happen.

Loyal: That's the actual damage.

Taury: Oh, that's the actual damage?

Markus: That's the hit point damage.

Taury: OK.

GM: Yeah. Yeah, strength damage is...

Loyal: Also 4.

GM: Also 4

Fenwarin: Ow.

Taury: So I have to type that back in again.

Loyal: [Laughs]

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael: Cool. I approach it, sword drawn. And I'm whispering you something.

GM: Certainly.

Markus: Ishmael, might I suggest that you actually move one square right when you arrive, so you're flanking?

Ishmael: That's fair. I mean, I guess I move to there. I mean, well I don't know if that would provoke an attack of opportunity or not.

Fenwarin: Not if you go past me, that's OK.

Ishmael: I mean, it's fair, that's fair I guess. 

Fenwarin: Yeah.

Loyal: There you go. Yay.

Ishmael: DM is sent to you Furtive... Fuck is there-?

GM: Yep. [Laughs]

Ishmael: All right! OK! Fucking! Fucking shite!

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Ishmael will go like "You know the odds, you're outnumbered. Flee!" 

Loyal: What? 

Fenwarin: Huh?

Ishmael: He's speaking to the shadow.

Loyal: Oh. 

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: I was like, "What?! We're outnumbered?!" So scared! 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Like, he's waiting for any any form of, like, acknowledgment from the shadow, and then attacks.

GM: No, no for of acknowledgment.

Loyal: Doesn't give a fuck.

Ishmael: Ok. "Then you get attacked." I miss, fuck. 

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Wait! No wait! No wait. No! Wait That's a +2. Right? 

GM: Yeah.

Loyal: From flank it's a 13.

Ishmael: So 13? Huh?

GM: Will miss. 

Loyal: Fuck!

Ishmael: Damn it!

All: [Laugh]

Ishmael: Well, well fuck.

GM: Taury.

Taury: Cool.

Loyal: Saw Loyal swing a sword backwards.

Ishmael: Like hmm.

GM: Trying to strike with the edge?

Ishmael: Free action to gesture to turn the sword right ways.

Loyal: He's figured that out by now. He just- oh!

Taury: I can reroll that though.

Loyal: Oh yeah, you can reroll that nat 1. That's a thing.

Taury: So I'm rerolling it.

Loyal: Oh. Not much better.

GM: Still a miss.

Taury: Yep.

Loyal: Yeah, strength, damage definitely doesn't help with the attack modifier.

GM: No. Loyal your turn.

Loyal: Is there the equivalent of like a disengage action I can take in this?

Ishmael: Yeah, another five foot step to here.

Loyal: O, well, I just wonder if I could five foot step and then run away.

GM: There is.

Loyal: OK. Gotcha.

GM: I'm trying to remember what it's called.

Ishmael: I think it's "withdraw".

GM: Yeah, withdraw.

Loyal: That, I will take that action.

GM: That lets you move your normal speed.

Markus: And the first square that you started in moving from, it does not provoke, so.

GM: Correct.

Loyal: Cool. There we go. "Hi Markus." 

All: [Laugh]

Markus: Ok.

Loyal: I feebly stumble across.

GM: [Laughs] Markus, it's your turn.

Markus: OK. Yeah, Markus will attempt to attack it by casting ray of frost... So I assume that hits?

GM: It does.

Markus: Does it show any reaction?

GM: Not really.

Markus: Yeah. I wonder if these are immune to cold. No they can't be immune to cold, we already asked about that. OK.

GM: Fenwarin.

Fenwarin: Yeah. I'm backing off into here, and then attempting the wand again. Oof!

Loyal: Still succeeds! [Laughs]

Ishmael: "Cutting it close there, buddy."

Fenwarin: "Yeah."

Loyal: Yeah, could be worse damage.

Fenwarin: Yeah.

GM: Morana.

Morana: Morana continues her chant louder, holding out a hand towards this thing, and glaring at it. And I need it to make one more will save.

Fenwarin: What the hell?!

Loyal: Oh god.

Morana: Fuck.

Loyal: These fucking will saves man.

Morana: I am not allowed to have fun.

All: [Laugh]

Loyal: It rolled like a 17 then an 18, and then a 19. It was bullshit.

Morana: Well that's my turn. Not allowed to have fun.

GM: Shadow will strike Taury.

Loyal: Oh no... Oh no! 

Fenwarin: Oh shit!

Loyal: Stop hitting our strength person!

GM: So 1 point of normal damage and 3 more strength damage.

Taury: It could have been worse.

Ishmael: Oh my god.

GM: How you doing Taury?

Taury: It's not great, but it could have been worse.

GM: Mhm yeah.

Taury: That's a -5, 6, 7. That is -7 now.

Markus: Oh, at the start of my turn how many hit points were you down? You were down 5, I think.

Taury: What? 

Ishmael: Yeah, something like that, yeah.

Taury: Me specifically?

Ishmael: Roughly, I think it's 7 or 6 now.

Taury: I don't know, I'm on 25.

Markus: Ok, Taury-

Taury: And 31.

Markus: Ok, yeah, you would have got healed.

Ishmael: You can have 5 hit points.

Taury: OK. Yay.

GM: Ishmael.

Ishmael: Yes. Well, I'm going to move to here to flank... I'll provoke.

Loyal: That's a power play.

Ishmael: Ooh!

Loyal: Crit.

Ishmael: Ooh, it did. Yeah it did. Ouch!

Loyal: Oh thanks to the amulet, though, it doesn't- oh it's against touch though. Fuck!

Ishmael: Yeah.

GM: Yeah, so that's a confirmation.

Loyal: All right. So what's that?

Ishmael: That confirms.

GM: 11 points of normal damage.

Ishmael: Ow you fucker!

GM: Only does the strength damage once though, that is not doubled.

Ishmael: Yeah. Wooh yeah.

Markus: Oh, good.

Ishmael: Oh! Ow! Fucken, please go away!

Loyal: Well, Why did we go this way? We should have just taken the bridge.

GM: That does hit.

Ishmael: Go away! Go away you son of a bitch!

GM: That drops it to zero, which for an undead causes it to dissipate, you have killed the final shadow.

Ishmael: Yeah.

Loyal: Fuck.

Fenwarin: Oh!

Taury: Thank fuck!

GM: And that is where we will end this session.

Taury: Fuck!

Fenwarin: Holy shit!

Ishmael: Everybody collapses unconscious, just "I don't want this anymore!"

Taury: All our muscles just fucking hurt like a bitch.

Fenwarin: They're just gone. [Laughs]

Loyal: I have a 9 minus 3 to strength right now. That's the modifier.

Markus: Yeah, what a time to be without a cleric.

That's all the time we have for now. To learn more about the show, the cast, etc. head over to http://wayward-expeditions.com/